Title: Crusty Bubblebiscuits

Author: Ellie Franks AKA Bootie Gizzardbiscuits

Rating: FRT

Category: Medical Investigation (Stephen/Natalie)

Spoilers: Nope

Feedback: Feedback like totally reeks of awesomeness dude!

Summary: Natalie has some downtime.

Distribution: My site, anyplace else I would be honored! Just keep my name on it and send me a little note to let me know where it's going!

Disclaimer: Without Prejudice. The names of all characters contained here-in are the property of Laurence Andries and Marc Buckland. No infringements of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.

Notes: Many thank you's to Kelly for the great beta job! Just a silly little fic that was inspired by an email that I received awhile back.


"Nat, what in the world are you doing?" Stephen asked, looking over at the giggling doctor.

Natalie glanced up from her laptop. "Just checking my email."

"What's so funny?"

"There is this kid's book called Poopypants, and there is an evil professor in it that made everyone change their names."

"I don't follow." Stephen said, confused.

"Want to know what my new name would be?" Natalie offered.

"Yeah, sure."

"Tootie Chickenhead." Natalie laughed.

The normally composed Stephen couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips. "Tootie Chickenhead?" He questioned. "Is there something that you aren't telling me Nat?"

"Shut up! Yours isn't much better Mr. Crusty Bubblebiscuits!" Natalie tossed back.

"Crusty Bubblebiscuits? I'm wounded!"

"Well, at least your last name isn't Chickenhead!" Natalie retorted.

"Fear not, my lovely lady. That won't be your last name much longer. You shall soon be known to all as Mrs. Tootie Bubblebiscuits!" Stephen grinned at her, glancing down at her engagement ring.

Natalie sighed and sent him an amazing smile. "I can't wait." She said softly.

"Me neither." Stephen agreed before capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.

"Someone has biscuits?" Miles asked, entering the room and breaking up the moment.

"We interrupting?" Frank asked as he and Eva also entered the room, and eyed the two cozy doctors.

Stephen and Natalie exchanged one more look before turning to their friends.

"Nope, what's up?" Stephen asked.

"I heard biscuits. I'm hungry." Miles complained.

Eva rolled her eyes. "You're always hungry."

"Am not." Miles argued.

"Are too." Frank piped in.

"Children!" Natalie and Steven exclaimed in unison.

"Miles, you are always hungry. I have never seen someone who is not going through a growth spurt eat as much as you do." Natalie commented.

"Well, then why are you talking about biscuits?" Miles huffed.

"We were talking about names." Stephen told them.

"Baby names?" Eva asked, hopefully.

"Down girl. Goofy names from the internet." Stephen explained, and then told them what his new name would be, along with his fiancées new name.

"Neat. What would our names be?" Frank asked.

"Let's see." Stephen walked back over to Natalie's laptop and sat down in her chair, pulling her down into his lap.

After a moments hesitation Natalie began to speak. "Frank, your new name would be Poopsie Bubbletush."

Eva clapped her hand over her mouth to rein in her giggles.

Frank turned to glare at her. "If I ever, and I mean ever here myself referred to by that name…there will be hell to pay." He warned before leaving the room.

"Spoil sport." Miles called after him.

"Miles, you would be Bootie Gigglehead." Stephen announced.

This time Eva didn't attempt to hold in her laughter. "Do you think we should page him as that from now on?" She suggested.

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would." She assured him.

Miles crossed his arms and glared at her. "Says the woman who still doesn't know what her name is." He challenged.

Taking the hint, Natalie quickly figured out Eva's name. "Eva, your new name would be Poopsie Bubblefanny."

Eva's face began to take on a reddish hue.

"Awww…Poopsie." Miles teased.

"Shut up." Eva ground out.

"Poopsie, I need you to call in a favor for me." Miles kept up his ribbing.

"No problem…Dr Bootie Gigglehead!" Eva shot back, and she too retreated from the room.

Natalie shook her head and rolled her eyes as she heard the two of them continue their bickering down the hall.

Stephen nuzzled into Natalie's hair. "So, how long do you think it'll be till those two tie the knot?"

Natalie smiled as she snuggled back into his embrace. "I'll start up the betting pool when we get back from our honeymoon."

Finis!

Completed: 02/14/05

Here is the email if anyone is interested.

This only takes a minute. Please don't be a bore and ruin it. Send it on to everyone you know, including the person that sent it to you. Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not. Here is your dose of humor... Follow the instructions to find your new name.

Once you have your new name, put it in the Subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers. Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you, so they know you participated. And don't go all 'adult' ... my niece's senior manager is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer.

The following in an excerpt from a children's book, Poopypants" by Dave

Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a poopsie b lumpy c buttercup

d gadget e crusty f greasy

g fluffy h cheeseball i chim-chim

j stinky k flunky l bootie

m pinky n zippy o goober

p doofus q slimy r loopy

s snotty t tootie u dorkey

v squeezit w oprah x skipper

y dinky z zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a apple b toilet c giggle

d burger e girdle f barf

g lizard h waffle i cootie

j monkey k potty l liver

m banana n rhino o bubble

p hamster q toad r gizzard

s pizza t gerbil u chicken

v pickle w chuckle x tofu

y gorilla z stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a head b mouth c face

d nose e tush f breath

g pants h shorts i lips

j honker k butt l brain

m tushie n biscuits o hiney

p chunks q toes r buns

s fanny t sniffer u sprinkles

v kisser w squirt x humperdinck

y brains z juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts. William Jefferson Clinton is Bootie Liverbiscuits.