Author's Note: Just in case someone didn't notice, I changed the rating to PG13 with the previous chapter.
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In The Shadows
Severus wasn't very happy. He was convinced that Dumbledore and McGonagall weren't going to even take any points from Gryffindor although Potter actually deserved to be expelled. He also took it somewhat badly that the headmaster just wouldn't give him that bloody book. After all, he was not one of his dull-witted students. So Dumbledore should know better than to fear that he'd accidentally reduce Hogwarts to ashes if he were allowed to take another look at it. And he also wasn't very happy – though not very surprised either – that McGonagall seemed to have barely even noticed that he'd returned.
Unfortunately there were, of course, no students around to vent his ill temper upon, so all he could do was to glare at all those stone statues and suits of armour he came across on his way to his office.
Although he couldn't deny that he was dead tired, he'd decided to take a quick look at his book shelves before going to bed; it had been years since he'd last seen the book he was thinking of, but he was quite sure that it had to be somewhere in his office.
In the dungeons it was awkwardly silent now that the whole castle was asleep. In a place usually crowded with children, he'd come to appreciate every minute of silence, but right now he actually felt he'd had enough of it for a while.
It was rather cold down there and it was very dark, but he knew his dungeons well enough not to need any light to find his way so he didn't even notice. Actually, he was too tired to really notice anything around him. He had a strange detached feeling as he moved along the corridors, almost as if he was walking through a dream. For a moment, he wondered whether it was possible that all this actually was a dream and that he'd wake up any moment and none of this would ever have happened. He quickly discarded the idea again; there was no way he'd get out of this so easily.
He reached his office and opened the door. Suddenly he heard something and whirled back around. A low thud, as if something soft had hit the floor. For a moment, he stood there and peered into the darkness, but there was nothing there.
Severus shook his head at his own behaviour. He entered his office, closed the door behind him and with a wave of his hand, he lit some candles. Then he took off his coat, put it on a hook on the wall and walked across the room towards the bookshelves behind his desk.
He pulled a few books from the shelf so he could reach the second row, which was usually covered up and hidden from view. And not without reason; he had more than one banned book there that nobody, especially not someone like him, was supposed to own. He hadn't even looked at most of them since he'd put them there, so it took him a while to find what he was looking for.
A few minutes later, he finally pulled a large book with a dark velvet wrapper from the shelf. It looked old and worn and was covered in dust, which made it very obvious that no one had read it in years. He wiped the dust off the cover and then carefully moved his fingers across the velvet. As he did this, golden letters appeared below his fingertips, spelling out the title of the book: Dark Legends – Revenants, Bogeymen and the Wendigo.
He remembered that he'd been eight years old when he'd last read that book, and that it had scared the living hell out of him. What he also remembered, very well, was getting caught rummaging in his father's books although he'd been explicitly banned from ever setting foot in the library.
He walked back to his desk, sat down and placed the book on the table in front of him. Just as he was about to open it, he hesitated, raised his head again and glanced around the dimly lit room. Somehow he still couldn't quite get rid of the feeling that he was doing something forbidden and that he'd get caught any moment.
He had to smile at himself; that was just too ridiculous.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw something moving. He turned his head and quickly realised that it had been merely his own shadow, cast on the stonewall by the flickering candlelight.
"I'm too tired," he muttered to himself and rubbed his eyes. "Much too tired."
He stifled a yawn, opened the book and quickly thumbed through the pages, searching for the chapter he distinctly remembered having read so many years ago.
"And here it is," he whispered to himself and began to read. "Chapter Three, the Phantasmyon Curse."
As he read, he felt as if he actually remembered every single word, despite the many years that had passed. He remembered the large ornate letters at the beginning of each paragraph, the smell of the old parchment; and he remembered how much it had scared him.
He stopped reading and listened. Footsteps. Definitely footsteps. Outside his office. Slowly he reached for his wand but just as he was about to stand up, the sound was gone.
Severus took a deep breath, decided not to look outside just to find an empty dark corridor, placed his wand back on his desk and continued reading:
Fear and pain form a most versatile foe, for it is always – unconsciously – chosen by the victim itself. It emerges from the deepest and darkest abyss of the human mind and manifests as an imaginary enemy, always lurking in the shadows, sensed rather than seen. That's what makes it such an intimidating and strong – if not invincible – opponent.
Suddenly the silence around him was shattered by a loud knock on the door that nearly made him fall off his chair.
Actually, it wasn't just one knock, it was six knocks in a row, in a very annoying pattern that made clear that there had to be a very annoying person on the other side of that door. And although he didn't really care who it was, he was quite convinced he already knew it. Another knock followed.
"Do you know what time it is?" Severus asked through the closed door. "Just go back to where you came from."
"Yes, I know what time it is." Lupin. Of course. Who else could it have been. "I've got to talk to you."
"Just go, will you?"
"Five minutes of your valuable time. It's important."
Severus slowly stood up, walked across his office and opened the door. "Important, is it?" he asked while he remained standing in the door frame just to make sure Lupin couldn't possibly misunderstand the situation and believe he'd asked him inside. "It better be."
"Can I come in?"
"No. So what is it?"
"Well," Lupin glanced around as if he actually expected to find someone trying to eavesdrop on them. At four in the morning. "I've just been outside, and it's rather warm out there."
"Why doesn't that come as a surprise to me?" Severus asked. "Perhaps because it's been rather warm for at least a week now? Now if you really just wanted to chat about the weather-"
"No, no, no, wait," Lupin said quickly. "It wasn't warm when we got back here."
Severus arched an eyebrow, wondering whether he should wait to see if Lupin had anything else to say or simply punch him in the face straight away for being such a pain in the neck and stealing his time yet again.
"When we got back through the painting, it was cold, really cold. I didn't really pay attention to it then, but I realised later, went back outside, and all of a sudden, it wasn't cold at all any more." Lupin looked at him, waiting for his reaction, but Snape just stood there and said nothing at all. "And the moon," Lupin added.
"What about the moon?" Snape asked lazily.
"When we were outside, it seemed to be a very light and clear night, as if it was a full moon. When we went over to the staff room I looked outside to check, but I couldn't see the moon because it was all covered by clouds."
"So?" Severus asked. "What do you want from me?"
Lupin hesitated and then took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Didn't you... well, didn't you notice anything odd around here? Anything at all?"
Aside from the footsteps I keep hearing, aside from the feeling that someone's watching me all the time, aside from the shadows I see creeping along the walls – no, not really. "Such as?"
"I'm not sure, but ever since we got here I can't shake off the feeling that there's something amiss. I can't really point it out, it's not very obvious, but nothing seems to be quite the way it's supposed to be," Lupin said.
Severus hated to admit it, but he was right. He'd noticed it himself and had dismissed it as a product of his imagination. Now he wasn't so sure any more.
"Take Dumbledore for example," Lupin continued. "He was acting strange. Why wouldn't he give you that book? It makes no sense."
"Because it's dangerous, just like he said."
Lupin shook his head. "I don't think so. He wouldn't act like that. It's not right. This whole place just isn't right. It looks, sounds and smells different, it feels different," he said. "Try to remember: when you walked along the corridor outside your office; did you hear the echo of your footsteps? You can always hear a very clear echo down here in the dungeons, especially at night when everything's quiet."
"You don't seriously pay attention to the echo of your footsteps, do you?" Severus asked.
"No, of course not. Nobody does. And that's the problem," Lupin replied. "Because as soon as you do pay attention to something and notice that there's something wrong with it, it will change. Everything seems to adjust to what we want it to be, or rather, what we expect it to be." He paused for a moment. "It's like waking up from a nightmare and then realising that you only dreamt it, and that you're actually still caught in your dream."
Severus thought about what he'd said. Dumbledore had been acting strange; he hadn't given him the book, and he hadn't seemed at all worried about the possibility of Malfoy and Thesdale showing up on the castle's doorstep. He tried to remember walking down to his office; all he could recall was that it had been very quiet in the dungeons, which was nothing too unusual considering that it was four o'clock in the morning.
"What were you reading?" Lupin asked, peering over his shoulder into the room. "Can I have a look at that?"
Lupin had walked past him even before Severus had time to object. He took the open book from Snape's desk, threw a quick glance at what he'd been reading, turned a few pages and then looked up again.
"Did you ever read the whole book?" he asked.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Did you ever read any further than chapter three in this book?" Lupin repeated his question.
"Why?" Severus asked and slowly walked back across the room towards him.
"Because it's all the same," Lupin replied and showed him the open book. "Nothing but the first three chapters, again and again."
Severus stared down at the book, then at Lupin. "It can't be there," he then said slowly. "I can't make it be there because I've never read it."
Lupin nodded. "Exactly."
It made sense, no doubt. A lot of sense.
"When we went back through the painting, we didn't even have to read the incantation. I suppose we could have noticed that a little sooner," Severus muttered and picked up his wand from his desk. "Did you try it?"
Lupin shook his head. "No, I didn't think of it."
Severus pointed his wand at the paperweight on his desk and whispered, "Wingardium Leviosa". Nothing happened. He tried it once more, but again, nothing happened.
Lupin pulled out his own wand and tried the same spell, but still, the paperweight wouldn't move.
"I suppose that's evidence enough," he said and put his wand away again. "What now?"
"We need the book," Severus said. "You're right; he didn't give it to me because we need it to get away from here. I'll get it while you go and get Potter."
"We don't even know where it is."
"Dumbledore's office, I assume."
Lupin gave him a questioning look. "You're not going to attempt breaking into Dumbledore's office, are you?"
"Since I happen to know the password, I don't think you can really call it breaking in." He walked back to the door and took his coat from the hook on the wall. "We'll meet again here," he added and started walking along the corridor.
Lupin followed him through the dungeons and up the stairs to the Entrance Hall.
"I'll take the backstairs," Lupin said as soon as they'd reached the first floor. "And be careful. It's still here, and I believe it's much stronger when we face it on our own."
"You just make sure you keep an eye on Potter. Try not to lose him when he decides to go chasing after the ghost of his godfather again," Severus replied and started walking up the stairs.
He heard Lupin's footsteps as he walked along the hallway, the creak of the door as he opened it and as it fell closed again behind him. The sound echoed through the darkness and seemed to ring on in his ears long after it had died away. Then, very suddenly, it was gone. For a moment he listened into the darkness but there was nothing else but this overwhelming absolute silence.
Severus had a feeling that it probably would have been wiser not to split up, and he was quite sure that Lupin had thought the same. But they had no time to waste; the sooner they got away from here, the better. And after all, he, for one, could definitely look after himself, so if Lupin had a problem with it, he should simply have said so.
Alone in the dark, that scares him? The little wimp needs a nightlight? I'll give him something worth being afraid of.
He could hear his father's voice in his mind as clearly as if he'd said it only yesterday. But it had been long ago, and he'd grown out of being afraid of the dark, trolls in the cupboard, monsters under the bed and phantoms in the shadows, just like all kids did. He could look after himself.
Severus turned his thoughts back to the present situation; if that fake Dumbledore was anything like the real man, he'd definitely have taken the book to his office. Or he'd have destroyed it. But if this being had been able to do that, it probably already would have done it quite a while ago. That meant that it was dependent on this book and couldn't exist without it. Or at least, not yet.
I can't leave here. Not yet. You can help me to become strong enough.
That's what it had said to Potter, back in the house. Perhaps it didn't simply want them to stay; perhaps it needed them to become stronger, strong enough to break out of this world and cross the bridge to reality.
At the top of the stairs, he turned left and then he stopped walking.
A cat. He heard a cat meowing, barely audible, softly calling for him. Reason told him not to pay attention, but his curiosity once again got the better of him; he turned around and walked along the corridor in the opposite direction.
The sound grew a little louder as he came closer, but it was still so soft that he wasn't even sure he really heard it. At the corner he came to a halt again. It was just around this corner. If he made one more step, he'd know. But he wasn't too sure anymore if he actually wanted to know.
"It's not real," he whispered to himself and then stepped around the corner.
And there it was, the cat. Not just any cat; it was his cat. Or rather, it had been.
Good for nothing little bastard. You and that lousy critter, you're a good match.
He didn't want to see it but couldn't help staring down at the cat as it lay there on the floor, moaning pitifully. It was lying on its side, unable to move, blood dripping from its nose and onto the floor. The cat raised its head a little, trying to look at him.
Severus swallowed hard and closed his eyes, his heart beating faster.
"It's not there," he said to himself once more. "It's not real. I'm seeing through you, you can't scare me."
And suddenly, it was silent again. He opened his eyes, and the cat was gone, without a trace. All he could see now was the dark silent corridor, just the way it was supposed to be.
He turned around again and continued on his way to the headmaster's office, determined not to pay heed to anything else this being might have in store for him.
Surprisingly enough he actually made it to Dumbledore's office without further incidents. In front of the statue guarding the entrance, he glanced around once more before he said the password – Spider Liquorice – and stepped onto the spiral staircase.
Once inside the office, he realised that one definitely could call it 'breaking in', no matter whether he did, or didn't, know the password. And that made him feel rather uncomfortable. Under normal circumstances he'd never even have thought about setting foot in here without the headmaster's invitation, and even though this was anything but normal circumstances, he couldn't shake off the feeling that he was deceiving Dumbledore in some way.
He crossed the room, stood behind the ancient wooden desk and searched the surface. Then he put aside a few pieces of parchment, but he still couldn't see the book anywhere. For a moment he paused before he pulled open the first drawer and searched through it, then the second and the third. It wasn't there.
"Where did you put it...," he muttered to himself. "Where would he put it..."
Slowly he turned around and let his gaze wander along the room's walls and across the various shelves.
"Of course," he said to himself as he spotted the tall wooden cupboard. It stood against the darkest wall of the room, right behind the door, inconspicuous and easily overlooked despite its size.
Severus took a few steps towards it, and then he could see the book through the glass doors. It was leaning against some larger books on the left side of the cupboard, next to some other strange bits and pieces Dumbledore kept in there.
"Breaking into the headmaster's office, are we?"
Severus had expected that he hadn't seen the last of his father yet, and he was prepared now. Or at least so he hoped. He put on his characteristic sneer and then slowly turned around to face him.
"How I'd hoped we'd meet once more," he greeted his father, who was standing right in front of Dumbledore's desk.
"He's a wise old man, always knew you can't be trusted. And you've proven him right yet again."
Severus smiled at him, trying to hide what he really thought. "That's becoming ridiculous now, you're clearly running out of ideas." He folded his arms in front of his chest and threw him a questioning look out of narrowed eyes. "What do you want from me? From us? Why are you doing this?"
"Ridiculous? I don't think so, and neither do you." His father slowly took a step towards him. "Like it or not, you've always known that you're only here because you've proven yourself useful to Dumbledore. You had what he wanted, and needed, and you happened to be there at exactly the right time. And you know that as soon as you're of no more use to him, he'll dump you, and you'll have nowhere left to go."
"What is it that I have that you want?" Severus asked slowly. "Exactly the three of us, you didn't want anyone else. Why?"
"He never wanted to give you a second chance. There are no second chances!" his father roared, obviously rather annoyed at not getting the reaction he'd expected. "I told you that again and again, a hundred times. You had your chance, you made your choice! But then you never could do anything right, could you? "
"I'm sorry, but that really doesn't sound much like my father. Perhaps you should try something different," Severus said indifferently.
The other man just stared at him, like he'd done so many times, waiting for him to look away. But Severus didn't, and a moment later the man standing in front of him disappeared into thin air.
Severus sighed with relief; it hadn't been easy, even though it had gone a lot better than he'd have expected. Obviously his Occlumency skills weren't only useful when dealing with the Dark Lord.
He turned back to the cupboard and reached out to open one of the doors; of course, it was locked. He definitely didn't want to start searching for the key now, and he couldn't use magic to open it, so this problem obviously required the use of a little force.
Rather than attempting to break the glass with his bare hands though, he took a brass candlestick from the desk and used it to smash one of the glass doors. In the stillness of the sleeping castle, the sound of the breaking glass seemed almost deafening. Severus reached inside the cupboard, took the book and then quickly left the office again.
As he walked back down the corridor, he looked around to make sure that there was nobody following him who might have been woken up by the noise he'd made in the headmaster's office. When he realised what he was doing, he immediately concentrated on not thinking about anything at all and keeping his mind as blank as he possibly could; after all, from what he'd seen up to now, even a mere thoughtless worry could be apt to cause the next unexpected event.
He counted his steps as he went down the stairs. He'd walked these stairs thousands of times, he'd counted his steps there more than once, and he was convinced that it was going to be the exact number he expected it to be; but at least the counting helped to keep his thoughts from drifting off again.
He'd just reached the main staircase leading down to the Entrance Hall when he heard footsteps. He walked on. This time he wasn't going to listen anymore; he'd been fooled by that thing often enough now.
"Professor?"
Potter. Severus stopped walking. Perhaps it would be better not to ignore that. He turned around and saw the boy standing in the middle of the corridor. Alone.
"Where's Lupin?" Severus asked.
"I have no idea," Harry replied. "I wanted to talk to him, I was just about to go over to the guest quarters to look for him."
"So you haven't seen him since we got back."
"No. Why?"
"Because he was actually supposed to pick you up," Severus said and started walking down the stairs to the Entrance Hall. "Come along."
Harry hesitated only for a moment before he followed him.
"Something's wrong here, isn't it?" he asked as he walked down the stairs behind Snape.
"Exactly, Potter. Something's very wrong here," Severus said. "What did you want to see Lupin about?"
"Oh, err, nothing," Harry muttered.
Fine, don't tell me then. It's not as if I had any personal interest in what's going on in your head...
"What's going on here?" Harry asked when they reached the Entrance Hall. "Is it here? That thing? Did it come with us?"
"Not quite, Potter," Severus replied absent-mindedly while contemplating what he should do about Lupin. "The actual problem is that we're still in the same place, it simply changed its appearance."
Harry's expression darkened, as if only now did he slowly begin to understand. "It shows us what we want to see," he said softly.
"Yes," Severus said and finally looked at him. "And this being needs our thoughts and memories to create everything around us. It's important that you don't give it anything to build on, so just try to think about nothing at all."
"And how exactly do you do that?" Harry asked.
"It shouldn't be too hard for you, should it?" Severus said. "However, if you can't manage, at least concentrate on thinking about something harmless. Flower fields, butterflies and the likes."
"Butterflies...," Harry muttered to himself. "So what are we going to do now? We'll have to find Remus."
Severus wasn't keen on wandering through the castle and searching for him. But he knew he couldn't very well show up back at Hogwarts – the real one – without Lupin either; Dumbledore probably wouldn't be very delighted if he told him that he'd accidentally lost him.
Just as he was thinking about whether he should make Potter wait somewhere or take him along, Harry started walking across the hall and towards the entrance doors.
"Potter! Come back here," he called him back. "We'll search for Lupin. You'll stay with me, where I can see you, and you will not wander off on your own. Is that understood?"
"I'm not an idiot, I can take care of myself."
"Whether or not you're an idiot isn't at issue right now and rest assured, I don't enjoy your company either," Severus said and started walking towards the door leading down to the dungeons. "Come on."
Harry muttered something unintelligible that obviously wasn't meant for Snape's ears and then followed him across the hall.
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Author's Note: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.
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Oya: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it; I hope you still got your report finished, wouldn't want to be responsible for that... ;)
Silverthreads: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it so far. Of course you were right, they're not quite back home yet.
Njja: Thank you for your review :) I'm glad you liked it.
bluebird161221: Thank you for your review, glad you liked it!
Persephone Lupin: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :) Malfoy doesn't even know that Lupin was there so I guess he might not believe Snape if he told him that.
Earthwalk: Thank you! :) I'm trying to stay close to the books most of the time, I'm glad you think I managed to. I'll keep an eye on the sighing, thank you.
Athena Keating-Thomas: Thank you! I'm glad you're still reading and that you still like it :) As you can see, a certain amount of paranoia was definitely justified.
Makrillit: Thank you! I'm happy to see you're still reading and you still enjoy the story. And if you like reading no romance, just stick with me ;) I guess it's highly unlikely I'll ever write one.
PPP: Thank you for your review! I'm glad you liked it :)
