Chapter Thirty-Two

Same time

Harm's house

Third of July, setting up for the carnival

Mac walked into the pool house when she spotted Harm's mother looking off into the distance. She had went into the house looking for Harm, she had checked his bedroom, the nursery (where Mackenzie was playing soundly by herself), the kitchen, the basement gym, but Harm was MIA for a lack of a better term. 'I hope he doesn't close himself off to me again' she thought to herself. She held her daughter in her arms, "Mackenzie, what's wrong with your daddy? Did you keep him up last night again?"

Mackenzie smiled when she heard the mention of her dad. "Da!"

"Da, it's always Da, why not Ma?" She tickled her baby's feet and put her in the playpen. "What's going on with him Trish? Mattie's safe and sound."

"It is not my place to tell. Leave the baby with me, I'll watch the girls, you go to Harm. You should find him by the stables. Mac, don't push him to hard, this is one memory that he hasn't dealt with too much yet." Trish said cryptically.

She walked down to the stables, to find him sitting on the fence that ran on the back side of his property. She could hear him sobbing silently. Mac watched his shoulders rise and fall, shuddering ever so slowly with each breathe he took. It was tearing her heart out. She shed a tear for him. She walked up behind him and wrapped her hands around his shoulders. "Honey, it will be okay. You didn't lose her today."

Tears were freely flowing down his face. She hadn't seen him like that since they found out that Bud was going to be okay. "God Sarah, I could have lost my daughter today. I don't think I could handle losing her. Mattie gave me back my life, gave me a reason to live and love again, if I had lost her like Lane, well . . . " He trailed off hanging his head in his hands.

Mac stopped to listen to him, it hit her how much Harm defined himself now by being a father. "You didn't lose her today. She is a little banged up, but she is a tough kid. Harm, who was Lane?" She quietly probed him and ran her hands through his hair.

"Lane was my best friend growing up. His dad was killed shortly after Dad was declared MIA. We were inseparable because we understood each other's pain. Lane and I went riding one night, and we got caught in a storm. Lane's horse got spooked and threw him, and when another crack of thunder hit, I was thrown, and hit some rocks. I was wearing my helmet," He handed her a helmet that had a crack running down the center of it; the helmet had Hard Head written on it. "Trotter ran off to the stables, Lane's horse trampled over Lane. He didn't make it."

"Oh God Harm. You don't blame yourself for that do you?"

"It was my fault we were out there. I got mad at Mom. She was going to be gone for the semifinals for football. I was quarterback, and I wanted her there. Being around the horses always brought some peace back in my life. I ran into Lane down at the stables, and he followed me out as I angrily got myself ready to ride. We had been missing for a couple of hours when Frank figured there was something wrong. Frank found us out on the beach. He once told me I gave him a full head of grey hair that day. I wasn't ever going to ride again, but Frank said that if I let my fears control me, then I would never be able to live a full life. What Frank told me that day has given me so much resolve. I let Mattie ride because it is something she loves. I won't make her get back in the saddle, but I know she will."

Mac wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. "You have had enough loss in your life."

"I agree Son." Frank said from behind. "Mac, can you give me and him a minute, I need to speak with him."

"Sure. Mac picked up Harm's cracked helmet and walked into the stables to feed the horses.

"Frank?! How did you know where we were?"

"You know Harm, when I found you out on the jetty; it was the most horrible day of my life. Worse than the day we found out your ran off to find your father. You helmet was cracked down the middle, blood was seeping out, and you weren't responding to anything. I was so scared. The only thing I wanted to do was trade places with you. I knew you would be down here because I know you. You were thinking about Lane."

"Yeah."

"It wasn't your fault, and what happened to Mattie wasn't your fault. I put your lunch in the kitchen for whenever you are ready for it." Frank squeezed his shoulder. "You know, your mother was there for me when I found you. I was a mess. Even though you hated me, I loved you fiercely. Let Mac help you through this."

"I will. Thank you Frank for everything. Somehow, saying thank you doesn't even seem enough anymore." Frank gave Harm a quick smile and headed off to finish up setting up.

Mac came out of the stable when she saw Frank walk by. She walked behind Harm and held him. "You okay?"

He gave Mac a quick hug. "I love you. Thank you for this."

"Harm, we are a family, we are parents. I may not be Mattie's mother, but I was scared to death when Frank called the admiral to let him know. The admiral called it a day and told everyone who could to come out here and to help out." She told him as he went to stroke Tommy who gently nuzzled Harm.

"Mattie is a trooper. Go out with me tonight. Mattie already told me to take you out, so don't worry about her. Jen is going to stay and help my mom and Frank with the girls."

They walked back up to where everyone was finished setting up the booths enjoying the Chinese food that Harm had picked up. Jen, Harriet, and his mother were hovering over Mattie.

"Dad, Aldo's called to confirm your reservation for tonight at 7:00." Mattie relayed to him. "Were you going to take Mom out?"

"It was a surprise, but since your accident, I don't think I should. I need to be here for you."

"That's right Mattie. We should be here taking care of you."

"No. You are taking Mom out for a night on the town. Gram, Gramps, and Jen are here. I am fine. If you don't go, I will be mad. You guys haven't had any time for yourselves lately."

Mac sighed, "If your father says its okay, we will go. Where are we going?"

"Aldo's." Harm supplied.

"Harm, it's already 1400. I don't have time to go home, get changed, and for us to make it to Baltimore." Mac screeched at him.

"You can get ready here Ma'am." Harriet said.

"Harriet, I keep a couple of spare outfits here, nothing that would be appropriate for a nice dinner." Mac pointed out.

"Well, Sarah, darling, I thought of that when I heard Harm speaking to Frank. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of picking you out a dress, and I picked up some makeup if you don't have any." Trish told her. Trish could be just as devious as her son.

"How did you know my size?"

"I used your pants size and your bra size to have the clerk help me."

Mac turned to glare at Harm. "What, I didn't have anything to do with that. I just thought a night away from my kids would be nice for once. If you want me to cancel, I'll call the maitre de right now and cancel. Besides, I can keep an eye on Mattie this way."

"Don't you dare." Mattie said. "Dad, I'll be fine. Gram is here, Jen is here. Go, have fun with Mac tonight."

Mac looked at everyone and agreed she would go. Harm was grateful that his mother had gone the extra mile and thought of something he wouldn't. He left the women to talk in the pool house.

He heard the baby crying over the monitor just as he cracked open a beer with the guys in his kitchen. The guys started laughing at him as he put down his beer bottle and started to prepare her baby bottle. Harm bounded up the stairs and brought Mackenzie into the kitchen. He sat down on the bar stool and gave her the bottle, as he picked up his beer.

"So, has being a father changed you Rabb?" the retired Admiral Chegwidden asked. He had come in to help them with the carnival. The rest of the men were sitting there waiting for an answer.

"Well, Mattie and Jen eat junk food like it is going out of style, Mackenzie costs me an arm and a leg in diapers a week. There are struggles to get Mattie out of bed on time for work, and Mackenzie cries at night. In all honesty sir, it has made me a better man," he answered. He started burping Mackenzie. "I couldn't imagine my life being any better." Frank had his hand on the intercom button, and the women heard his response in the pool house.

Mattie looked at Mac, "You know, I'm crazy about my dad, and if you hurt him . . ."

"You know Mattie, I have loved your father for so long, I don't even remember a time where I did not love him. Even to this day, your dad still amazes me." She heard him tell the men he was going to go to the nursery. That is when Frank let his hand up on the intercom. Mac slipped away to go see the man that she loved.

She walked up behind him in the nursery and watched him play airplane with Mackenzie. As he brought her into descent Mac wrapped her arms around him. She nibbled on his ear, and whispered, "You are the love of my life."

He gazed into her eyes, and put the baby in the crib. Mackenzie sat there and watched her parents kiss. She clapped and laughed with delight.

AN-Review and let me know what you think - keep going??