I am absolutely dreadfully sorry for the last time. My other computer crashed yesterday. (I always knew there was something wrong with it.) There will be no more misfortunes. Thanks for your patience. I'm doing wonderfully in my chess tournament, and I think my agent's finally happy, if my publisher's a bit moody.

Disclaimer: I wish it was mine, but it's not in full. I'm proud to say I own part of it.


Artemis Fowl stared absentmindedly out of his office window into the night. He was free, certainly, and yet, an overwhelming sense of guilt plagued him. Guilt for many things. He knew he had hurt his mother Angeline Fowl when insisting on leaving home to start out on his own. Actually, it wasn't truthfully the beginning; only officially. He had been on his own for as long as he could remember. Always.

Juliet entered the room, food and drink in hand, and placed the tray on the desk beside Artemis.

Artemis nodded his thanks, continuing his vacant staring. Something was going to happen. He knew it was. And Artemis Fowl the Second… was never wrong about these things.

He straightened and turned to Juliet, guilt forgotten. "Do you feel it Juliet? Feel it coming?"

Juliet nodded. She understood exactly what Master Fowl was talking about. Something was coming. Coming soon. And when it did, she had no doubt that it would be very unexpected, more than adequately dangerous, and require the mind of a criminal genius.

Artemis Fowl to be exact.

Juliet shut her eyes for a moment. Focusing. When it came, she would be on her toes... although a tutu sporting ballet dancer was not the best of descriptions when it came to her.

A slight noise outside the window.

Juliet's Big Saucer was out, and she moved in front of Artemis.

Nothing. Something that Artemis could logic out, given the time. Nothing at all.

And yet there was something. They both knew it… sensed it. It was a presence.


Mulch Diggums, a shady character if anyone was, had just managed to worm his way out of yet another life sentence. They popped up with more and more regularity.

It seemed that no righteous citizen wanted to believe that he was innocent, yet according to the law, they could not force his hairy behind into a nicely padded cell. Legal complications.

Mulch Diggums knew that these, legal complications, were in reality, illegal. Artemis Fowl had something to do with it no doubt. Most everything did now.

But though Mulch was criminally inclined, (he much preferred that phrase to convict), he was not ungrateful. Artemis Fowl would receive his due, and it would come along the lines of a slight memory jolt. Mulch relished this kind of work. It was simple, required no physical work, and extremely cost efficient. Especially the last part.

A weekend trip was in order.


Holly Short rubbed her forehead, scowling at the monitor. Just in. Trouble Kelp had once again erased her speed records. Twice in one week!

First, in the chutes Monday, dropping almost twenty feet past the six-month holding record. Now this, coming in two and a half minutes before the shortest standing clearance flight in the history of the LEP. Both set by Holly Short, Foaly course.

She would really have to do something about that. If Julius ever gave her the chance; but he probably wouldn't, being so prejudice.

With a sigh, she turned back to the dreary paperwork spread across her desk. Julius would not like the disorder. She really ought to clean it up before he

"Short!"

Julius Root announced his presence with a loud bang of protest from the door. His eyes swept over her, instantly noting the slightly guilty air of a civilian on trial.

"Have you experienced any recent hurricanes that I was not informed of?'

Holly shook her head mutely.

"Then why," he roared, "is this place worse than Hamburg?"

Holly swallowed her anger. "I apologize, sir. I'll clean it up tonight."

"If not sooner." He set his jaw, scrutinizing her.

Finally, he wheeled, stomping out with yet another preposterous bang.

Holly snapped her pencil between her fingers. She knew it. He had come in here for no reason other than to find something to yell at her over. And he had chosen her, because she just so happened to be the only female on Retrieval, which he happened to have a big problem with.

She turned on her com set, listening to Foaly's carefree crunches with distaste.

"Talk to me Foaly."

"What about?"

"Anything." The pencil swished through the compact recycling Foaly had so cleverly created. She raised her pen, scanning her documents.

"I'm very busy you know," responded Foaly after a moment of deep meditation. "I don't have time to talk with such unimportant people. Usually. But since you did manage to provide me with that load of hoof cream last month… Well, I suppose I could make the time."

Holly snorted. "Any other upcoming inventions I should know about, besides this marvelous new time making machine?"

Quiet. "Well, actually," began the centaur in mock seriousness.

"Yeah, rightlike you could."

"No really," he protested, "I've been thinking about it for years. Think of the hours that you could sleep in, in the morning, because you had more time. The deadlines that you could evade," his voice rose in excitement. "Just imagine the"

"No."

Foaly grumbled something sullenly, returning to carrots, which he thought had much better taste, if you'd pardon the pun.

Holly shoved aside a stack of folders, searching for a particularly elusive packet. "Foaly? Is there any way you can position me to break those records that Trouble just set?'

"Why?"

"Because, he broke mine again."

Foaly processed this for a moment; "Can I ask a question?"

"Maybe."

"Why do you have to be the best? I'm not say it's a bad thing, but I wonder sometimes, if you overdo it a little."

"No," snapped Holly defensively. "Why would I? I don't always have to be the best. I just like to give it a try."

"I don't thin that's all."

He listened to the silence, and then continued. "It has something to do with Julius, doesn't it Holly? It does, doesn't it?"

Holly squirmed. "It has nothing to with"

"You think of yourself as always falling short of his mark. So you have to keep trying. You don't have to Holly. Either Julius doesn't matter, or he does. Right now he does, and your killing yourself trying to please someone who will never be please, because they don't want to be. All I'm asking you, is why you're doing it. Your life would be so much easier if you didn't."

"But I have to, or..."

"Or what?"

Holly glanced at the ceiling. "Or I'll get kicked off Retrieval. And it's my dream Foaly! It's my dream… I can't lose it."

Foaly sighed. "Alright, Holly. You do what you think you have to do. I have to go now. I've got a deadline to meet."

"Bye."

Holly terminated the connection, leaning back in her chair to think. Maybe Foaly was right, but even if he were, it wouldn't change anything. Nothing anyone said would ever make Julius Root hat her less than he did. She could never be good enough.

Not for others. Not for him. Not for herself.

The next week offered her no duties of any importance, other than finishing up the paper work of Mulch Diggums, who she knew was far from innocent, but had pulled it off again.

He wasn't an evil dwarf by any means, only a thief, and he had saved her life more than once: but still, the police in her said that he ought to be locked up. Even if they were the closest thing an officer came to being friends with a criminal. For his own good.


Mulch Diggums waited placidly in the LEP lobby, apparently bored, but actually scheming.

Artemis Fowl would be tricky, but even he might benefit from a booster shot. And more importantly, he might tip Mulch a bonus. He could certainly afford it.

In his pocket, Mulch had three things: cloth, string, and a small slip of paper. The cloth and string were obvious. The paper was a bit more secretive.

The paper happened to contain two things that Mulch was sure would be appreciated. One, Root's login name, and two, his password. If he could get those two things to Artemis Fowl, along with a C-cube that he had stolen from the LEP, which was well hidden, in his cave, Artemis Fowl would be deeply in his debt. Or at least give him a bonus.

Just one problem. How to get it to him.Though actually,Mulch had several ideas…

Which wasn't a good idea at all.


Artemis Fowl stepped out of his office onto his balcony, not for the fresh air, nor the view, but to check, once again, for anything… different perhaps. He didn't know exactly what he was looking for. This was his new headquarters, and he paused to admire it. Completely burglar proof. A huge mansion, surrounded by a fortress of walls in a beautiful valley in Switzerland, cradled by mountains, and reflected by a lake. Nothing could get in here.

He was safe. And wrong.

That evening, as he descended the staircase to his suite, he caught sight of Juliet leaning over a monitor, an extremely intense frown on her face. Puzzled.

"What is it, Juliet?"

"I'm not sure." She tapped the screen with a long nail. "The concrete in the basement looks like it's taking some hard blows from an outside source. It's already cracked in some places."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. That concrete was his formula. Nothing short of an atomic bomb could destroy it. There was obviously not an atomic bomb outside, or they would have already guessed. "Very well, go downstairs and determine the problem. Take care of it."

He wheeled, striding down the hall to his room. It was no longer a problem.


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