In Smaller Proportions
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Back again, I am! For the reviews, thank you! (I make a lousy impression of Yoda. Methinks we can't have everything.)
If you like, you can guess the identity of "Mystery Person" from Chapters 1 and 2. My only hint is that it's a Sohma. (The truth will be revealed much, much later.)
Oh yeah, and in order to save my typing time (the lazy chimpanzee reports), we're just gonna call the kid chibi-Kyo. Okay? Okay!
And here we are: the story itself.
PJ
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"I'm BA-A-A-A-ACK!"
"It's about time." Yuki's voice somehow managed to carry over the loud wailing that echoed through the house. The gray-haired teen soon came out to greet Shigure, holding the now screaming kid in one arm. He looked stressed. Very stressed. "Did you get it?"
"Of course!" Shigure replied, pulling out a package from its bag and tearing off the protective plastic. "This was all I could get, but first things first, yes? We'll settle the other supplies later."
"Anything, let's just fix this little... child's problem so he can give me some peace," Yuki said, suppressing a growl and a number of choice words through sheer force of will.
Shigure nodded and started to open the package. An extremely irritated Yuki was not one to tease. Not if you didn't want to wake up in animal form with your tail tied to a ceiling lamp. "So where's Tohru-chan?"
"Honda-san went to Hanajima-san's to borrow a few outfits. (1)"
"Did you tell her not to reveal our...um...circumstances?"
"I told her to tell Hanajima-san that it was for one of our younger cousins staying over." (2)
"I see. Good idea," said Shigure.
Yuki grabbed the open package with his free hand, and hauled both his burdens to the bathroom.
Shoot, he could effortlessly flatten Kyo as an adolescent. It couldn't possibly be any harder to tackle him as a two-year-old.
Right?
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Wrong.
Yuki sighed wearily, trying to calm down before he popped his blood vessels. "You never did like cooperating with me, you stupid cat."
Chibi-Kyo just continued to glare at him from his position.
Improvising with what they had, Yuki had laid a towel across the floor and put the toddler on top of the towel before getting a clean diaper on him.
At least, that was what he was trying to do.
If anyone who knew children enough was next to Yuki, they would have told him three things:
One, that there was a certain phase in a child's life known world-wide as "the terrible twos."
Two, that children going through that phase found something they really didn't like.
Three, that, regardless on how much they liked (or disliked) a certain person, so long as it was something they really didn't like, they would refuse to submit.
Yuki frowned at the little boy before him. "You know, I can't change you if you stiffen your legs like this."
Chibi-Kyo refused to acknowledge the hint, and his little legs remained locked in position.
Now, if anyone who knew children enough was really next to Yuki, they would have also told him that he had just discovered what it was that this particular child really didn't like. (PJ: and no, Kyo-experts, I'm not referring to Yuki.)
The door slid open a little, and Shigure poked his head in. "How's the changing going?"
"What do you think?"
Shigure looked on in disapproval. "You really don't know much about child care, do you?"
"They haven't taught us this sort of thing in school, if that's what you mean," Yuki replied, glaring back at chibi-Kyo.
Shigure clapped his hands dramatically and waved Yuki aside. "Well then! Kindly step aside and let a man do his job!"
Isn't caring for children a woman's job? All the same, Yuki shifted to see for himself what Shigure would do.
To his surprise, as well as chibi-Kyo's, Shigure made a face and stuck his tongue out, causing himself to remarkably resemble a very dead fish.
Chibi-Kyo immediately started to giggle, and his legs relaxed.
"Aha! You see?" Shigure looked very pleased with himself as he spoke. "The Sohmas have always had a weakness for funny faces when they were babies!"
"And how would you know that?" Yuki asked, forgetting chibi-Kyo for the moment.
"Unlike you, yours truly himself happened to do quite a bit of babysitting when he was thirteen!" Shigure announced proudly.
"Oh? Who was unlucky enough to be under your charge?"
"Haru, on one occasion, but mostly Akito."
I see... Yuki reflexively shuddered before composing himself. "Alright, here's how we'll work on this: You do whatever faces you want, and I'll get this thing on him."
"Can do." With those words said, Shigure did another face. "Oh Kyo-cha-a-a-a-an!"
As chibi-Kyo's legs relaxed again, Yuki grabbed the opportunity to move them apart.
And then a jet of yellow fluid - which could only be pee-pee - hit him square in the face. (3)
Amidst the stereo laughing, Yuki blinked and shook his head in shock before turning to glare at Shigure. "You knew this would happen."
Shigure grinned. "Yup! That's why I had Hatori do all the handwork in changing back then."
Yuki grabbed a paper towel to clean his face. I had to ask...I just had to ask...
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About some time later, the sliding door moved again, and Tohru stepped into the house with a bag of clothing.
Freshly out from the shower, Yuki came out to meet her while still toweling his hair dry. (PJ: He's fully dressed! This is PG! - 4) "How did it go, Honda-san?"
"Hana-chan didn't seem to buy the story at first, but I managed to borrow those clothes," Tohru replied, holding up the bag in hand.
"Ah, welcome back, Tohru-chan!" Shigure emerged from the adjoining room as he spoke, carrying chibi-Kyo. "It's a shame you were too late to witness the fun we had earlier. Right, Kyo-chan?"
Happy once again, chibi-Kyo giggled. It was unlikely that he even understood what the funny man just said. Not impossible. Just unlikely.
"Um...what happened?"
"It's nothing, Honda-san," Yuki quickly assured her, glaring at the sniggering duo behind him.
Since Yuki felt that way, Tohru decided to drop the embarrassing subject (as usual), and showed Shigure her bag. "I got the clothes, Shigure-san."
"Wonderful!" Shigure voiced his approval. Then he held up chibi-Kyo. "Here, Tohru-chan, how would you like to hold Kyo-chan for a while?"
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Yuki was imagining chibi-Kyo after Tohru hugged him, or something along similar lines.
Manifested from the creative side of his brain, was a small kitten with doleful crimson eyes and soft orange fur, looking like the most innocent and sweet thing in the world, sitting on its haunches...
...before a mutilated kotatsu, fragments of shattered crockery, collapsed shelves, spilt food, a damaged staircase, scattered remains of raw fish...
...and his room - table, bed, homework and all - covered in muddy paw prints, scratch marks, cat-sick, and kitty turd. (5)
And then the kitten mewed, blinking its wide eyes, as though asking if something was the matter.
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Shigure blinked, and found his arms empty. "Goodness."
Tohru looked over at her peer, the confusion evident on her face. "What's wrong, Yuki-kun?"
Chibi-Kyo stared up at the "big brother" who was holding him so tightly and taking short, quick breaths. The quizzical look on his youthful face was almost comical.
"Honda-san," Yuki finally managed to say after composing himself enough. "I think it would be best if you did not hug Kyo at the moment."
"Not hug Kyo-chan? But he's so huggable!" Shigure protested. "Yuki-kun, how could you be so cruel?"
Yuki glared pointedly at Shigure. "If that's how you feel, you can be in charge of cleaning after him until he gets back to his normal age."
Barely an eighth of a second later, Shigure made his decision.
"Sorry, Tohru-chan, but we'll take charge of holding Kyo-chan for now," he told her quickly, adding: "You can help us in any other matter, though."
"Oh," said Tohru, looking a little disappointed. "Alright, then, if it's best."
By the look on chibi-Kyo's face, he seemed to empathize with her.
With a sigh of relief, Yuki held the child up, and watched as Shigure and Tohru started to pick out strange combinations of shirt and pants for the little guy.
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(1): Sources tell me that Hana's got five members in her family, so I'm going on an assumption that Hana has an infant sibling. Shoot, those really small sets of clothes gotta come from somewhere!
(2) : Not really a lie there, so who can complain?
(3) : Special thanks to "GirlWaterShaman" for the idea. As you can tell, if you're a Digimon fan, I've been taking a few notes from Digimon Frontier. Poor, poor Sohma Yuki and poor, poor Kimura Kouichi.
(4) : Don't look at me like that, you perverse nut jobs! The CHILDREN! Remember the CHILDREN!
(5) : Taken from an exaggerated, but true account. My source is a college graduate whose cat is nearly as old as him, so leave me alone.
ABSTRACT OFF MSN CONVERSATION:
HW: So whatcha gonna do?
PJ: A reviewer suggested the kiddo fire away in Yuki's face.
HW: LOL! Do it! Do it!
PJ: Sure, but a kid hosing down Yuki isn't going to take up much room.
HW: Then make your chibi-Kyo do some resistance.
PJ: ...Resistance?
HW: Sure! You know, like that time I told you about Wren and Darryl in Baby Blues.
PJ: Got it.
HW: PSYCHED!! #thumbs up#
PJ: Take my advice and tone down a little on that FB book 4 you've got.
HW: Hehe...
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