Chapter Thirteen

Hank rode up to the Widow Baker's house just as Myra was about to step up into her wagon. The young woman was surprised to see Hank approaching after sunset.

"Hank?" she asked. "What's goin' on?" Hank had always been kind to her, and she was always grateful for that considering his reputation in town. "It's late."

"I know," Hank replied. She saw the funny look in his eyes, and she knew that he was out here for some reason that she couldn't figure out.

"I'm just ridin' back into town. It's 'bout time to feed Sam." She placed the empty basket she'd brought Widow Baker's soup in into the bed of the wagon. "What's goin' on?" she repeated.

Watching as worry crept over Myra's face made this more difficult for Hank to say. He realized that it wasn't his place, and Horace was supposed to be the one to tell her.

"I came to get ya, 'cause ya need to get back in town right now."

"What is it?" Myra demanded. "Tell me, Hank."

"I ain't the one ya ought to hear this from," he replied softly. Her maternal instincts kicked in and tears sprang to her eyes.

"Is it Sam? Is it Horace? What happened, Hank?"

"Ya shouldn't hear it from me. Ya need to go talk to Horace," he said adamantly. He wasn't usually so worried about keeping his nose out of people's business, but he knew that he wasn't the one who was supposed to tell Myra what had happened. Hank turned to go back to his horse, but Myra rushed over to grab his arm. He knew she meant no harm, but she was terrified. He shouldn't have even said anything.

"I don't wanna hear it from nobody when I get back into town. I wanna hear it right now!" she demanded, anger rising in her voice. Hank sighed heavily and swallowed hard. He couldn't help but open up to Myra. She was beautiful, and she had been the only one who'd seemed to want to listen to him when he talked. For as long as he'd known her, she'd been this kind. She didn't deserve to be kept in suspense only to find that her son was dead. Hank looked away. "Hank! Look at me! Tell me what happened."

"Ya don't want me to say it, Myra. Ya don't wanna hear it."

"I want to hear it, Hank, now tell me before I leave ya out here in the dark and find out for myself!" Hank shook his head, not wanting to see her cry. She was getting angry now. "Is it Horace? Is he sick?" He shook his head again.

"No, it ain't Horace." Myra turned around and started toward the wagon.

"My baby needs me, then. I'm gonna go home to him."

"Myra, no," Hank called to her. She turned back.

"What do ya mean, no? He's my son, and he needs me!" Her stomach was tying up with knots, and her head was starting to swim.

"What I mean is that he got sick. Horace took 'im to the doc, and she did what she could."

"She had to operate? What? What are ya sayin', Hank?"

"I'm sayin' that he got some kinda infection, and the doc couldn't save 'im in time."

"Infection?" Myra asked, completely ignoring the last part of Hank's statement. "What? He's alright, ain't he? He's gonna be alright."

"Ya heard me, Myra. He ain't alright. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're sorry? No!" Myra cried.

"He's gone, Myra. Sam died."

"No! You're lyin' to me!" she screamed, running toward the wagon but tripping in her haste. Hank moved to help her up, and she pounded her fists into his chest. "Get away from me! You're lyin' to me! I want my baby!"

"He's gone," Hank said softly, not really knowing what else to say. He'd been raised in a family that wasn't very emotional, so consolations and words of encouragement didn't exactly seem natural to him. Myra shook her head and stood on shaky legs. She made her way back to the wagon and climbed up. "What are ya doin'?"

"I'm goin' home. I need to see my little boy." She wiped her runny nose and her eyes.

"I ain't lettin' ya go by yourself." Horace led his horse over to the wagon, hitched him with the other horse, and scooted into the wagon beside Myra. He took the reigns and the wagon pulled off toward town with an uncomfortable Hank and a grieving mother.


Jake, Loren, Robert E., Reverend Johnson, and Sully were seated around a fire in the woods. They'd searched all over town, but they hadn't found the boy. He was tiny and shouldn't have been able to get very far, but either he truly had wandered off that far or he had just found a very good hiding place.

"He couldn't have got very far, Sully," Loren assured him. "He's gonna be alright."
"She shoulda been watchin' 'im."

"She was," Robert E. interjected. "She had an emergency at the clinic."

"What kinda emergency?" Sully wondered. "What kinda emergency could cause her to neglect my kids?"

"She wasn't," Jake spoke up. This surprised everyone around the campfire. Hell, even Jake's presence in the search party surprised them. To be perfectly honest, Jake only went to get away from the talk in town. He hated hearing about Sam's death. Besides, the sooner they found Brian, the better. Another innocent child didn't deserve to die. Just thinking about it made Jake long for a drink. "She left 'im with Matthew and Colleen. They were watchin' 'im before he took off."

"They're too little to be watchin' him like that! Dr. Mike shoulda known better!"

"Let's be reasonable here," the Reverend said quietly. "Sully, ya can't tell me ya haven't left those kids alone together for a few minutes before." Sully swallowed hard and let the Reverend continue. "What happened was a mistake, and I'm sure Dr. Mike feels awful about it. She feels even more awful now." Sully looked at the bleak looking expressions on the men's faces.

"What happened?"

"Horace brought Sam in," Loren said. "He had some kinda infection." Realization came over Sully's face.

"Dr. Mike said somethin' 'bout keepin' it clean so it wouldn't get an infection after the surgery."

"Well, it did get an infection," Robert E. pointed out. "Sam died, and now Horace is blamin' her." That seemed as quite a surprise to Sully.

"But it wasn't her fault." The other men looked at one another. It had to be love. He went from being angry with her one moment to defending her the next. He had it bad!

Loren let out a yawn.

"We best get some sleep."

"I ain't sleepin'," Sully said quietly, throwing a twig into the crackling flames. Loren groaned.

"Oh, ya ain't doin' that boy any good not sleepin'. He'll need ya to be fresh and awake in the mornin'." The other men followed suit in lying down in their sleeping rolls. Sully didn't attempt to lie down. He stared into the flames, picturing all of the different scenarios in his head. What could have happened? What did happen? He felt bad now for snapping at her when he knew she had had an emergency, but why couldn't she have sent them upstairs? Why couldn't she have sent them with Grace or with Maude? He loved her, God he loved her, but he was so upset that his son was lost that he couldn't see past that yet. He needed time to cool off. He needed to find his son.


Michaela was absolutely distraught as she sat in the newly cleaned examination room, waiting for Myra to come to the clinic. She hoped Hank would return with her soon, though she knew it was going to be difficult to talk to her about the death of her son. She had tried to speak with Horace several times that afternoon, but he had locked himself inside of his home at the back of the telegraph office and refused to come out or speak with her. It was going to take time, and he needed to come to terms with what really happened. Until that happened, he couldn't be reasoned with.

She also couldn't help but wonder what Myra was going to say. Would she blame her as well? She really didn't know what to expect, but she did know that Sam's parents would be grieving for quite some time. She'd been blamed for many things in her career as a doctor, but when it was for the death of a child, it hurt the most.

Then she thought of Brian. She felt so utterly guilty for what had happened. Yes, she'd had an emergency, but she felt she had been a little less careless when it came to the children. Both Colleen and Matthew had tried to console her and take the blame themselves, but her guilt couldn't be swayed. She had sent them to Grace's for the night to keep her and the boys company while Robert E. was off with the search party.

She could only imagine what Sully was thinking. She hated the fact that she'd hurt him, and she wished she could take it all back. She knew she'd never forgive herself if something bad happened to Brian. She knew Sully would never forgive her either.

The clamoring of a wagon broke her from her thoughts, and when she heard it stop in front of the clinic, she knew that Hank had returned with Myra.

The frantic footsteps of a mother in emotional agony made a lump form in Michaela's throat. She blinked back the tears and waited for Myra to enter.

"Dr. Mike!" she cried, rushing in as the door opened swiftly and banged against the wall inside. "Dr. Mike, tell me it ain't true!" The look on Michaela's face felt like a crushing blow to Myra's hopes. What if Hank had been wrong? That was what she had been hoping. "No!"

"Myra, I'm so sorry," Michaela whispered, wiping a tear from her own cheek. "I did everything I could, but the infection spread so quickly. He was too weak to fight it." Hank was about to step in, but Michaela held a hand up. He only nodded and shut the door to the clinic to give them some privacy. "I feel terrible."

"What happened? Ya said an infection?" she asked. Michaela nodded.

"How? I cleaned the stitches real good 'fore I went out to Widow Baker's house. How could it have happened!" Michaela pulled a chair over for the woman to sit down on. Myra slowly sat and stared up at the doctor.

"It could have been any number of things. Perhaps the sutures were exposed for too long or . . ."

"He was fine when I left," Myra cried. Her face turned as white as a sheet. "Oh, Dr. Mike." She shook her head. "I don't blame you." She stood, and Michaela wrapped her arms around the grieving young woman. "Ya did what ya could for my son, and I'll never forget that. You're a good doctor." She sniffled and pulled away, rubbing her bloodshot eyes. "I wanna see him." Michaela felt the lump in her throat growing larger, and all she could do was nod sadly.

"The third room on the left at the top of the stairs," she managed to whisper. "Would you like me to go with you?"

"No. Please," Myra replied softly, "I need to do this on my own." Michaela backed off and simply nodded.

"Horace needs you now," Michaela whispered softly. "He's angry with me, and he has the right, because he's grieving. He's going to need your support." Myra shook her head.

"No. It's not the time. I need to be with my little boy." She left the room, and all Michaela could do was wait and think about everything that had transpired throughout the day.

A knock came to the door, and Abagail Martin stepped in. Michaela was surprised to see her out at this hour.

"Abagail?"

"Dr. Mike, I wanted to know if there was anything I could do." Michaela shook her head slowly, thinking.

"No, but thank you, Abagail."

"Look, Brian means a lot to me, and I was hopin' . . . well, I figured you'd be goin' to look for him."

"What made you figure that?"

"I'm just getting to know ya is all. I just thought that if you were gonna go . . . I could come too." Michaela shook her head again.

"No, that's alright." Sobs were heard from upstairs.

"That's Myra?"

"Yes."

"It's real sad 'bout her baby." Abagail gave a sympathetic look to the young doctor before leaving the clinic, disappointed that she couldn't help find Sully's son. She had wanted to be happy that this could put a wedge between the doctor and Sully, but Michaela was so upset that she couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

Footsteps tapped on the stairs as Myra made her way back from saying goodbye to her baby boy. Michaela stood and watched as Myra came out.

"As soon as Robert E. comes back, we'll start with the funeral preparations." Myra nodded.

"I need a place to stay."

"What about Horace?"

"I can't see him right now, Dr. Mike. I just can't . . ." Michaela swallowed hard. She knew better than to press the grieving young woman.

"You're welcome to stay here." Myra nodded.

"I'm going to go for a walk. I just need to be alone. I think I'll stay at the boardin' house tonight." She left without another word, and after she'd disappeared into the darkness of the night, Michaela headed upstairs, packed her saddlebags, pulled her coat on and went outside to saddle Bear. Five minutes later, she was riding out in search of Brian.


The men had been out since before daybreak, and they were continuing their search for the boy. They'd scoured every part of the woods that Brian could have gotten to, but he was nowhere in sight. A boy of his size couldn't have gotten far, and the only other thing that any of them could think of was that someone had picked him up and took off with him as if he were somebody's lost horse.

"Wolf, c'mere, boy," Sully said, holding Brian's bed blanket up to his nose for the third time that morning. Wolf hadn't caught a scent yet. Loren and Jake looked at one another skeptically, but Robert E. moved to stand by his friend. Reverend Johnson took a sip from the water canteen. Wolf whimpered and stuck his tongue out to pant.

"Why don't we turn back to town and get somethin' hot to eat at Grace's?" Robert E. suggested. "Then we can come back out and look some more."

"Ya make it sound like we're lookin' for a lost dog or somethin'," Sully snapped. "My son's out there somewhere, and I ain't restin' 'til I have him back safe."

"Alright, look," Reverend Johnson spoke up. "You didn't sleep last night, but the least you could do is eat. Helping Brian also means keeping yourself strong."

"He's right, Sully," Jake noted. Loren nodded as well. Sully decided that going back to town would be a good idea. Perhaps someone had found little Brian and was keeping him safe until his Pa arrived. So, the men started back toward town, and Sully mounted his horse to rest his weary legs for a while. Everything seemed to be spinning. All he wanted to do was take back the last day. He wanted to take back what he'd said to Michaela after Brian went missing, and he wanted his son home safe. Why did this have to happen to little Brian of all people? He was too young and small to defend himself against the forces of nature or the creatures that roamed around while human eyes weren't watching.


Myra unlocked the door to the telegraph office, knowing that it was time to go in and face her husband. Funeral arrangements for baby Samuel couldn't be made until Jake and Robert E. arrived anyway. She needed to talk to Horace. She had to know how this could have happened to their boy.

"Horace?" she asked, her voice weak and cracking. She'd not slept at all the night before and had only wandered about, thinking about everything that had happened. Now it was time to face the father of her child; the man who had been caring for her son. He was the one who let him get the infection that ultimately killed him.

Shuffling was heard about in the back room, and Myra swallowed hard. She brushed the tears out of her eyes and smoothed her hair down. She knew she looked like a mess, but her appearance paled in comparison to the wreckage inside her heart.

"Horace, come out. I wanna talk to ya." When Horace didn't appear, she slowly pushed the door open. Papers were scattered about the floor of the telegraph office, and she figured he'd come out of the bedroom long enough to search for something. He'd obviously become frustrated when he couldn't find it.

He was sitting upon the bed with an empty bottle in his hands. His hair was a mess, and his face had no color. He looked as if he was about ready to keel over, but as he looked up at his wife, a glimmer of recognition and life sparked in his dark, sad eyes. It broke Myra's heart right away to see her husband in such a state. But, just knowing that Sam's death could have been prevented made her anger begin to rise again.

"What happened to ya?" she asked. "I ain't never seen ya touch a drop of alcohol before."

"Ya know what happened," Horace sputtered and slurred. "Our baby is dead!"

"I know," she whispered.

"Where were ya?"

"I couldn't come home."

"Why not?"

"I had to be alone." She moved to pull the whiskey bottle out of his hands. She studied it in her hands for a moment and gripped it so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

"I needed ya," he whispered.

"You needed me?" Myra asked softly, tears streaming down her cheeks again. "Horace, I left for a couple hours to take soup to Widow Baker. I trusted ya for just a few hours to make sure our little boy was comfortable and feelin' good. How did it happen? Horace! Look at me!" She placed her hand on his cheek and tilted his head up so she could look into his bloodshot eyes. "Ya didn't need me." She shoved the empty bottle back into his hands and started for the door.

"Myra, wait!" he exclaimed, trying to stand from the bed. She froze in her place and waited for him to say something more. "She killed our baby, Myra. I need ya to grieve with me." Myra turned on her heels.

"Take it back," she whispered, her voice trembling. Horace stood and held onto the bedpost for support.

"I won't."

"Dr. Mike didn't do nothin' wrong! She saved Sam's life! You were the one who was s'posed to be takin' care of him while I was out helpin' Widow Baker! How could ya let it happen!" She was lashing out, and Horace had never seen her like this before! "You did this." Her own words to her husband lay heavy in her heart, and she turned around to run from the room, catching a glimpse of Sam's cradle out of the corner of her eye. She couldn't be there. Not now. Not anymore.


Colleen sat on Abagail's lap at Grace's Café, helping herself to some more eggs. Matthew wasn't very hungry, and was poking at the sausage on his plate as he sat next to Martin.

"C'mon, ya gotta eat somethin'," Martin encouraged him. "Your Pa will be back in no time with your little brother, ya just watch." Matthew shook his head and only continued to move his food about the plate with his fork. Grace came over with a pitcher full of milk.

"Ya didn't even have cookies at all yesterday," Grace said, feeling his forehead. He ducked away from her and moved closer to Martin. Grace sighed. "Matthew, your Pa is gonna be home real soon."

"Everybody keeps sayin' that," Matthew replied.

"It's true," Colleen said with wide eyes. "He'll be home in no time, right Abby?"

"That's right," Abagail replied with a smile on her face.

"I can't believe Dr. Mike went out there alone," Maude said, taking a seat next to her daughter.

"I hope Dr. Mike'll be alright," Colleen said softly, hope quickly fading from her sweet face. She held Ella close to her, cherishing the doll that the lady doctor had given her.

"Everybody we love leaves us," Matthew whispered solemnly. "First Ma died. Pa left us long before that. Now Brian's gone. Pa and Dr. Mike . . ."

"Shut up!" Colleen cried. "Take it back!"

"Matthew, look what you did," Maude scolded. "Ya shouldn't upset your little sister like that." Matthew immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Colleen wrapped her arms around Abagail's neck, and Abagail swallowed hard.

"Come on, Colleen. Let's go clean them tears off of your face." She picked the girl up and started out of the café. Matthew followed, leaving Martin and Maude at the table alone as Grace served the rest of the customers.

Abagail carried Colleen over to sit upon the bench outside of the clinic. She sat beside her and pulled a clean handkerchief out of her pocket to wipe the tears off of Colleen's face. Matthew hung his head.

"I'm sorry for what I said, Colleen. I didn't mean it. Pa and Dr. Mike'll be home soon. Maybe they met up and found Brian together. Then they'll come home and we can all be a family." Abagail's heart hurt at that moment, knowing that the children were settling into a life with Sully and Michaela courting. But she found herself surprisingly less jealous than usual. What really mattered was getting Brian home safely, and she found herself thinking less and less about Sully and Dr. Mike or their feelings for one another. In fact, she'd spent the whole night before crying in Martin's arms, praying for a safe return for Brian. She had to admit to herself that being in Martin's arms felt nice. "Don't worry, Colleen," Matthew said again. Colleen held Ella close and looked at her brother.

"It's okay, Matthew. I forgive ya." Matthew smiled at his little sister and looked at Abagail. "Ya think Pa will still be mad at Dr. Mike?"

"I dunno," Matthew said honestly. "He shouldn'ta got mad at her anyway. It was my fault for not watchin' Brian close enough."

"Now don't go blamin' yourself," Abagail said softly. "Why don't the two of ya go run and play with RJ and Thomas?"

"I don't feel like playin'," Colleen replied softly. At that moment, the sound of horses thundered into town, and Colleen immediately saw her father and Wolf at the head of the group. "Pa!" The horses stopped in front of the clinic, and Sully jumped off of his horse to take his daughter into his arms. "Pa, I missed you!"

"I missed both of ya too," Sully replied, hugging Colleen close. Matthew was looking around.

"Where's Brian?" Sully swallowed hard.

"We're gonna go get some breakfast at Grace's and head back out."

"Ya didn't find him yet? He's still out there!" Matthew asked.

"We're doin' all we can, boy," Loren said quietly. "Don't fret now." Sully looked at the clinic door.

"Where's Dr. Mike?"
"She ain't here," Colleen spoke up as Sully placed her back on the porch. Sully looked at Abagail.

"She left late last night to look for Brian. "'Least, that's where I'm assumin' she went. When I talked to her, it seemed like that was what she was intendin' to do." Sully sighed with exasperation and shook his head. He had the great urge to punch his fist into the wall, but he controlled himself.

"Don't be mad at Dr. Mike!" Matthew yelled, seeing his father's anger. "She felt bad when ya yelled at her! That's prob'ly why she went out there to look for 'im! She probably don't want ya feelin' mad at her no more!."

"Matthew," Sully started, kneeling down on the porch.

"No!" the boy replied angrily. "I thought ya liked Dr. Mike!"

"Ya know I do, Matthew. It's just that adults gotta be more responsible when it comes to watchin' kids."

"She was!" Colleen replied, jumping to Dr. Mike's defense. "Didn't nobody tell ya that she sent us outside when baby Sam got sick? It wasn't her fault." Sully glanced at the men on their horses. They'd told him so.

"If you're gonna blame anybody, Pa, blame me, 'cause I didn't watch him good." Matthew turned and ran off. Colleen glanced up at her father.

"Dr. Mike likes ya an awful lot, Pa. She cried a lot when Brian went missin'. If ya woulda seen her, ya woulda known." Colleen went off after her older brother, and Sully mounted his horse again, feeling even guiltier than ever. He'd caused Michaela so much grief and worry, and his own anger had caused her to go out on her own into the woods. God, she didn't know those woods at all! What if she was hurt or worse?

"Let's get to Grace's and have a bite 'fore we go on out to look for the boy again," Loren suggested, taking the lead of the group. The others followed, and Sully lingered back for a moment, staring at the clinic and remembering the first time he realized he was falling in love with her. She'd been comforting Colleen after a nightmare, and she had had such a way with her. For God's sakes, she had helped Brian the first day she arrived in Colorado Springs. How could he have ever doubted her? He'd left the children with her so many times, and they'd always been fine. It had been one instance, and now little Brian was missing. His grief for not having his little boy at the moment had overpowered everything else, and now that a new day had begun with more hope for finding him in the daylight, Sully's guilt for yelling at Michaela was growing even more.

As he was starting to join the other fellows at Grace's, he saw quite a sight. Jake was the next to notice, and he pointed in that direction.

"Look!" Jake called out. Flash was galloping across the meadow, crossing the bridge from the churchyard, and starting down the dirt road toward the clinic. Sully's heart leapt for joy at the sight. Michaela was riding with something bundled up in her coat. It was Brian! It had to be!

"Whoa," Dr. Mike called out tiredly. Bear stopped in front of the clinic, and the search party rushed to the doctor's side. Several of the town's folk, including those who had been at Grace's Café, came running over. Sully dismounted his horse and rushed over. Michaela's eyes were sad, but she swallowed hard and nodded to let them know he was alright. Sully helped her down, his eyes staring into hers, filled with so much love. He was so grateful to her for finding his little boy. Sully wanted to take him into his arms, but Michaela had him held closely to her body.

"Where'd ya find him?" Abagail wondered.

"There was a small ravine not far past the line of the woods that he stumbled into. I don't know how he made it all the way out there, but I need to treat him for his injuries."

"Is he going to be alright?" Grace asked. Michaela nodded and moved inside of the clinic. Sully followed and shut the door behind himself. Michaela didn't look at him. How could she? She felt guilty for what had happened to Brian, and she was also upset at the way Sully had treated her. It wasn't as if she had meant for it to happen.

"Dr. Mike . . ."
"Sully, I understand that you want to stay with him, but I need to concentrate," she said in a professional manner. That hit Sully like a slap in the face. She really was upset with him. He couldn't blame her, but it still upset him. He stood back as Michaela worked on Brian. The boy was brave and not crying at all despite the scratches on his arms and leg. He even had a small bump on his head. "You're a brave boy, Brian." Michaela smiled and talked to him in soothing words as Sully watched. All the while, he felt even worse. Now that Brian was safe, he could see clearly now. He'd acted harshly and lashed out to hurt Michaela. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it. He loved her so, and those kids had been his entire world before she showed up. After the gratitude he felt came the unbearable guilt that he had broken her heart.

Before too long, Brian was as good as new and smiling happily. Michaela was feeling rather ill and exhausted, so she placed the boy in his father's arms. When her eyes met Sully's gaze, she saw that he was hurting. If only she'd sent the children upstairs this wouldn't have happened. Because of her, she thought, that hurt was in Sully's eyes. She was hurting too.

"He can go home now," she said with a brief smile in a professional tone. Sully nodded.

"Dr. Mike, thank you for bringin' him home. If it wasn't for you . . ."

"If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. I just want you to know that I'm very sorry." Sully sighed heavily.

"Ya know what I'm tryin' to say." She wasn't ready to talk to him about this just yet.

"It's been a long morning, Sully, and I'm going to be rather busy all of this afternoon. If you'll excuse me . . ." He knew she was pushing him away, and he didn't want that. He wanted her happy; he wanted her with him.

"Alright," he said softly, not wanting to upset her any further. "Try to get some rest, huh?" Michaela only nodded and turned her back away. Sully moved to the door with Brian. "Thanks, Dr. Mike." When she didn't respond, he left to go find Matthew and Colleen. Michaela, on the other hand, waited for Robert E. and Jake to come take care of Sam's funeral preparations before closing the clinic and going upstairs to rest and think about what she was going to do next.