Chapter Fourteen

It was later than afternoon when Michaela sat upon her bed with a few letters in her hand. There was one that hadn't been opened, and it was from her father in Boston. She'd received it a couple of days ago, but hadn't had the chance to read it with everything that had been going on. She figured that now was as good a time as any to open it. When she pulled the ivory-colored paper out of the envelope, she unfolded it and began to read it silently to herself.

Dear Mike,

I was so happy to receive your last letter. I hope the world of the Colorado Territory is treating you well, but you must know that your mother and I miss you terribly. Rebecca just gave birth to your niece. They named her Louise, and she is an absolute delight! Rebecca misses you, and though you may not believe me, your other sisters do as well. You must tell me more about this Sully person in your next letter. You've intrigued me, and I'm starting to believe that you may have feelings for him. Well, your mother nearly keeled over when she found out about the goings on in Colorado Springs and this mysterious Sully character, but don't you worry, she'll be fine. I'm sorry to cut this letter so short, but I have a late appointment at the hospital that I'm actually running late for myself. I hope to hear from you soon, my dear.

Your loving father,

Josef Quinn M.D.

Michaela held the letter against her heart as tears sprung to her eyes. She missed her father terribly, and it had been a long while since she'd seen him. She hadn't intended to go back for a long time, but with everything that had happened, it was obvious that she wasn't cut out for life in the West. In all of the time she'd been there, she had managed to anger many people, endanger the child of the man she loved, and deliver a beautiful baby to one of her friends, only to lose him later on. No, the citizens of Colorado Springs needed somebody that they could feel they could trust. Faith in the young woman doctor wasn't something she expected from them anymore.

She looked over at her suitcases. They were half-full, and her closets were nearly bare. In the morning, she was going to pay the stagecoach driver to take her to the Denver train station. From there, she was going to go back home to Boston to practice medicine beside her father.

Tears trickled down her cheeks as she put the letters away in a compartment in one of her cases. She walked over to the balcony and threw open the doors. She looked down into the cool September scene. Everything was more beautiful than when she'd arrived. This place had become her home, and now she was leaving home once again.

She noticed Sully walking over from the livery. What was he doing back here? She saw the children with Grace on the porch of Grace and Robert E.'s house. He was coming in this direction, and she knew he was going to want to talk. She couldn't see him now.

She moved back inside of the clinic and shut the doors to the balcony. She heard his knocks on the door downstairs, and her heart broke. She desperately wanted to run into his arms and hold him until the end of time, but happy endings like that only happened in fairytales and in some books she'd read in her early years of school. She was upset with him, and rightfully so, but she knew he was also upset. They did need to talk, yes, but she couldn't face him after what had happened. She felt low, but she figured she'd write him a letter on her way to Denver and mail it as soon as she arrived at the depot. It would be far less heartbreaking than seeing the hurt in his eyes all over again.

Who was she kidding? She wasn't some little girl who was too afraid to face a friend after a falling out. No. She was an adult who could make up her own mind and have her own opinions. She was a smart, beautiful woman who could have any man she wanted. Oh, who was she kidding now? She only wanted Sully!

She heard the door open downstairs. She thought for sure she'd locked it earlier, but in her emotional state, she probably hadn't.

"Dr. Mike?" came his beautiful voice, filled with worry and regret. She swallowed hard. She couldn't see him now. But, that didn't stop her from calling out to him.

"I'm upstairs!" Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt as if she were choking. His footsteps began to ascend the stairs, and she felt as if her heart would burst. She moved over to lean against the closed door. He couldn't see her packing. She couldn't tell him yet. She'd tell him in the morning before she left for Denver. If she woke early enough, she'd be back in time to catch the eight o'clock stage.

His knuckles rapped on her door, and she choked back the tears.

"Dr. Mike?"

"Um, what do you need, Sully?"

"I thought this would be a good time for us to talk." She knew it!

"Sully, I'm rather tired."

"Ya said you were gonna be busy all day, but I guess ya were wrong. This won't take long."

"Please," she said softly. "I'm not feeling well, and I'd like to be alone." What could he say to that? He needed to talk to her. He needed to apologize, and she needed to apologize. Why was she being so stubborn? Why did she sound so afraid? He had to give her time. She'd come around.

"Alright. I hope ya get to feelin' better." A moment later, he was gone, and she was in tears again.


Horace was passed out in bed with another empty whiskey bottle at his side. Myra stood with her bags in her hands. The man who'd once been her best friend and taken her in when she had nobody else had turned into someone she didn't even know anymore. They were burying their baby in two days, and he'd probably be too drunk to pull himself out of bed and put on a decent shirt and tie for the service.

She remembered their wedding day. She'd been so happy to know that she'd have someone to love her for the rest of her life and make her feel secure in every way. That had changed drastically in the matter of a day, and now she didn't think there was any going back.

"I don't know you anymore," she whispered, glancing around the room. "Ya never woulda hurt a fly, Horace. I know you're hurtin', but drinkin' ain't the way to fix it. I made a mistake in leavin' ya alone with him. I shoulda known that ya couldn't watch him every minute. But, ya promised me ya'd keep an eye on him. What happened? What happened to ya, Horace?" She brushed the tears out of her eyes. It seemed as if she couldn't keep from crying whenever she thought about how this entire situation could have been prevented. "Goodbye, Horace."

Myra turned to the door, glimpsing Sam's cradle in the corner. Sometimes she thought she was just dreaming and that Sam would appear in his cradle just as sweet and sound as he was when she last saw him alive.

She blinked the tears away and left without a second glance toward Horace. She started off toward the Widow Hanson's to see if she could get a room at the boarding house.


The dinner table was quiet at the Sully household that evening. Brian was sleeping, Colleen was quietly eating a piece of bread, and Matthew was staring down into his plate. Sully knew the boy was upset with him, but he figured there wasn't anything he could do about it right now.

"Matthew, ya know I don't blame ya for what happened."

"No," Matthew whispered, "but I wish ya did."

"Matthew," Sully began, "I went to talk to Dr. Mike today, but she wasn't feelin' good. I'll talk to her tomorrow."

"Ya can't stay mad at her, Pa. She didn't mean for it to happen," Colleen explained.

"I know," Sully replied. "And I know she feels bad, but I'm gonna talk to her tomorrow, alright?"

"Promise?" Matthew wondered.

"I promise," Sully replied with a smile.

"Are ya gonna propose to her?" Colleen asked, her eyes going wide. Sully nearly choked on the sip of milk he'd taken. The children giggled after Sully cleared his throat.

"Don't you two have homework?"

"Pa, we don't have school 'til next month, remember?" They knew he was avoiding the conversation.

"Oh, right," Sully replied. Brian began to cry, and Sully breathed a sigh of relief for the temporary distraction. He went to take care of the boy, and Colleen looked at Matthew.

"Matthew, if Pa and Dr. Mike get married, Dr. Mike'll be our new Ma."

"So?" Matthew asked. Colleen looked down at her hands that were folded in her lap.

"Well, do ya think Ma would mind?" Matthew pondered his little sister's question for a moment.

"She'd want us to be happy," he replied quietly. "Don't worry, Colleen. Ma loves us, and she won't mind us havin' another ma." Matthew gave his sister a slight hug, and they went back to their dinners.


When Michaela woke in the morning, it was nearly seven o'clock. She hadn't intended to sleep in that long, and she was even more upset that it was storming outside. There was no way she'd be able to make it out to the homestead in time to get back and meet the stagecoach. She would slip away quietly while the town was just opening up for the day, and Michaela Quinn would no longer be the doctor of Colorado Springs.

After dressing quickly, Michaela brought her suitcases and bags down the stairs one by one. With each that she brought down, she felt more guilt filling her heart. She would never get to explain why she left to the children. She'd grown so attached to them and they to her.

Thunder rolled over the town as if someone was telling her that she was doing the wrong thing. In her heart, she knew it was wrong, but her actions had hurt so many. She didn't think it would be appropriate to stay any longer. She'd obviously overstayed her welcome in a town where she hadn't been fully accepted to begin with.

She'd stayed up late into the night to pack up all of her equipment. She'd have the bigger things sent later, because it would be far too expensive to bring them along right now. It was no wonder she'd woken up so late!

It was seven thirty now, and she knew that the stage would be pulling into town in about fifteen minutes. She realized that she had to tell Reverend Johnson about her plans.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a beautiful dress that she'd managed to keep clean and safe from the dust of the streets, and she had a hat pinned into her hair. She looked like she'd just stepped out of Boston at that moment, but the fact of the matter was that she was going back for good. For good. That wasn't the appropriate thing to think. Nothing about this situation was good, and she doubted it ever would be.

When the rain let up a bit, Michaela rushed across town, holding her skirt up a bit so it wouldn't drag in the mud. She made her way to the church across the meadow and rapped upon the back door of the church. Reverend Johnson came out with a towel draped on one shoulder and shaving cream upon his face. He would've scraped up two bits to pay Jake for a shave if he wasn't running low on money that week.

"Sorry to disturb you, Reverend."

"It's alright. I'll do this later. You seem upset." He quickly wiped the white foam off of his face before he invited her inside. They made their way into the main part of the church, and Michaela sat down upon the first pew.

"I don't have much time," she said softly.

"What is it?" He sat down next to her. "I know you've been under an awful lot of stress lately."

"Yes. Well, I wanted to inform you that I'm leaving my position here in Colorado Springs. I'm going back to Boston."

"What?" The Reverend nearly yelped the words. "Why are ya leavin'?"

"For several reasons, Reverend. I meant to go out to tell Sully this morning, but the stage will be here very soon."

"You're leaving without saying goodbye?"

"It wasn't my intention," she said softly. "But it'll be better this way if I leave. He doesn't need me."

"Of course he needs you! The entire town needs you. Look, Sully'd have my neck if I told ya this, but he was real upset about this while we were looking for Brian. He didn't understand it at first, but now he knows what really happened. He feels awful 'bout it. I've seen it in his eyes, Dr. Mike. Ya can't let him go on thinking he's hurt ya that bad. It'd kill him." Those words stung, but Michaela knew that this was best for everyone.

"I'm sorry, Reverend. I'll be sending for the rest of my things. I'm sure you'll find a doctor who will better suit this town's needs." She left quickly, leaving the Reverend absolutely baffled. She returned to the clinic just as the stagecoach was rolling into town.

The Reverend, however, saw Sully's wagon approaching town. He quickly rushed out to meet them.

"Hey Reverend," Colleen said cheerfully writing out her bonnet since they'd gotten stuck in a downpour on their way into town.

"Good morning children, Sully," the Reverend said with a nod.

"What's wrong?" Sully immediately asked.

"I just spoke with Dr. Mike. She's leaving town." The children looked at each other with fear in their eyes.

"What!" Sully asked, his heart immediately jumping into his throat. "When?"

"Soon as the stage coach leaves. It pulls out in ten minutes," he explained, checking his pocket watch.

"Pa!" Colleen cried. "Ya can't let her go! She has to stay here and make people feel better!" Matthew tapped his father's back urgently.

"Ya can't let her go away. Please go talk to her, Pa!" Matthew begged. Sully had already made up his mind as soon as the Revered had uttered those words.

"I'm goin'," he replied. "Reverend, would ya look after the kids?"

"I won't let them out of my sight. Come along, children." Matthew and Colleen hopped out of the wagon, and Sully placed Brian in the Reverend's arms. A moment later, the wagon was clattering full-force toward the clinic.


Michaela took a deep breath and opened the clinic door. She was going to have one of the drivers of the coach come help her with her luggage. But, as soon as she stepped out onto the porch, she saw Sully's wagon barreling across town. Her heart nearly stopped beating at that moment, and he practically flew out of the wagon when it came to a halt.

"Sully! What are you doing?"

"I was just 'bout to ask ya the same thing." Michaela swallowed hard as Sully peered into the clinic to see all of the decorations off of the wall and all of her medicines were gone.

"I'm going home to Boston."

"Why?" he demanded. "The folks here need ya." Michaela shook her head.

"They don't need me," she replied. She waved toward the stagecoach driver to catch his attention. Sully knew he needed to talk some sense into her, but he couldn't do it outside. He took the suitcase from her hand and started into the clinic.

"Sully!" she exclaimed with exasperation. She followed him into the clinic, and the door shut behind her. He placed the suitcase onto the floor next to the others. It was amazing how many things she was taking back with her, when she hadn't arrived with much at all. "You have absolutely no right to . . ."

"To what? To stop ya from doin' somethin' ya know ya don't wanna do?"

"I do want to do this. My father needs me in Boston, and I would like to go back to practice beside him."

"Why are ya lyin' to me? You're lyin' to yourself, because I can see it in your eyes. Ya don't wanna leave." Michaela turned her back on him and moved toward the window. Tears were forming again, and she didn't want him to see her cry.

"Sully, please just let me go," she whispered softly. Sully's breathing had lightened a bit from his excruciatingly worrisome trip from the church. Her sight sat upon the vase he'd put back together for her, and her heart ached to go back to that beautiful time. Everything had been much less complicated.

"Ya can't leave, Dr. Mike," he said softly. "If ya leave, folks are gonna miss ya."

"No they won't. I've done nothing but hurt people."

"That ain't so!" Sully replied. He stepped up behind her, and she felt her heart beginning to pound. "Ya saved a lot of people, and ya made a lot of good friends. This town cares about ya."

"Try telling that to Horace and Myra. Their baby is dead."

"That wasn't your fault." Michaela spun around on her heels.

"What about Brian? He could have been killed because of me!"

"He wasn't," Sully replied quietly. "Dr. Mike, I'm so sorry 'bout the things I said."

"You had every right. You were upset because your son was missing. I would have reacted the same way. I was hurt, yes, but Sully, I forgive you for being upset. I understand why you said those things to me."

"Well, I didn't have the right to treat ya the way I did. I feel bad, Dr. Mike. I didn't want to hurt ya."

"I'm fine."

"No ya ain't," he whispered. "Why can't ya admit that this is all about what happened to Brian?"

"What if it is?" Michaela wondered.

"Then I want ya to know that you're leavin' for no reason. I ain't angry with ya. Ya apologized before for all of it, and I forgave ya, though there wasn't much to forgive. There's no way I could ever stay upset with ya, Dr. Mike. Ya gotta know that by now."

"All I know is that another doctor can do a better job of handing business separately from his personal life. I can't do that since I've become so attached here. I just need to leave."

"No ya don't," Sully urged. Michaela picked up one of the suitcases.

"I have to go. The stagecoach will leave at any minute."

"Let it leave!"

"Don't tell me what to do." Sully swallowed hard as she turned toward the door.

"If you really, truly wanna leave, go get on that stagecoach right now." Michaela's hand froze as she was reaching for the doorknob. She sucked in a deep breath. She needed him to give her a reason to stay, but she couldn't ask him to. She needed him to realize it for himself.

"What have I got to stay for?" she asked softly, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"Ya got me," he said softly, his words full of pure love. Michaela choked back a sob and turned the doorknob.

"Once," she whispered. "But it's changed." She opened the door, and at that moment, Sully knew he was about to lose her forever. He couldn't lose her without her knowing how he felt.

"Michaela!" he called after her. She froze in her place again. That was the first time he'd ever called her that. She slowly turned and saw that tears were in his eyes as well. God, she wanted to throw her arms around him and feel his heart beating inside of his chest against hers.

"Sully?" He stepped closer to her, and the suitcase fell from Michaela's hands and onto the floor with a hard thud. His hands moved to rest on her shoulders and slowly moved down her arms. He stared down into her eyes and was pressing a kiss to her lips a moment later. When their lips parted ways, Sully whispered to her.

"I love you." He opened his eyes and watched as hers opened slowly. They were shining brightly and glistening from the tears. "I love you, Michaela." Taking a shaky breath, Michaela prepared to say the words she'd been saying to him in her heart for a long time.

"I love you too."