Title: Saw It in My Dream

Author: Chacha

Email: PG 13

Category: Jake &Hamilton

Disclaimer: unfortunately, I don't own the characters….I sure wish I did.

Thanks: To all the Jahammers and the authors of YA Fanfics out there, you guys inspired me too much to write this very first story in five years, LOL.

Feedback: Highly appreciated!


Do you think you love me... Ooo we!
I THINK I LOVE YOU!

I'm sleeping

It has been almost a week; Hamilton has been doing the same dream; making a beeline for Jake's room, he turns the doorknob very quietly, walks in with a light tread to the bed, and gingerly sits down next to Jake sleeping peacefully. He stares at his face for some time, that face of an angel with those long eyelashes, rosy cheeks and well-defined lips. Something is wrong with the picture, something isn't quite right. Those frail and delicate features of his, he would say it is a…a girl. The strange idea runs through his mind, and then it just occurs to him that Jake's a girl.

And right in the middle of a good dream

Reaching for a strand of hair dangling on her eyelid fringed with long eyelashes, he brushes it off rousing her from her deep sleep beauty; Jake blinks her eyes and looks at him with appealing beady eyes, gauging what his reaction would be.

'Are you mad at me now that you know?' She questions, her eyes gleaming with anticipation.

'No, I'm just relieved', he replies, his voice tense with emotion.

'Why?' She asks in bewilderment.

'My first big crash and the person whom I've fallen for turned out to be a girl', he says smiling, and leans forward to kiss her.

With that Hamilton finally awakes from the weird dream, fairly beside himself with worry.

Then all at once I wake up

From something that keeps knocking at my brain

"Jake as a Girl, huh… would that it were true!" He reflects.

Before I go insane
I hold my pillow to my head
And spring up in my bed

"It's just a dream, don't let it overwhelm you like that", he tells himself.

He shakes his head and gets up storming into the bathroom to wash his face, to shake the thought off his mind.

Screaming out the words I dread...

"He has me always thinking about him, it's becoming a craze, he is a GUY. I can't go and tell him, merely bare my soul to him about that feeling, known as love, and all that I've been through since the day he kissed me, that brief kiss which has completely turned my life upside down."

"I think I love you!" (I think I love you)

"Oh, shut up, why the hell did you have to kiss me, Jake?" He questions, as if there were someone else in his room to answer him back.

This morning, I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with

Hamilton has never stopped thinking about him. He realized that not only did Jake kiss him, but he found himself leaning forward to return it. It wasn't until Jake pulled back and ran off that he soon realized what had just happened. Jake drew back apologizing and rushed off but Hamilton just stayed there licking his lips. That kiss just blew him off; even if it is painful to have to admit, it has felt right.

Now he is afraid of his own feelings. As soon as he sees Jake his heart skips a beat, he does not know, for God's sake, how a person can have such an effect on him, but all he knows is that he is definitely falling for that guy, he can say that his heart is at war with his head, and that is really bothering him. The fact that nags him perpetually is that he has always liked girls and never ever doubted it, somehow something really alluring in that guy, something wrong and very different from all the other guys around the school, as well.

Hamilton has always been a bit of an outsider and a loner .Being the dean's son, doesn't make it any easier for him to befriend anyone in school. Finding that only kind person who, for the first time, wouldn't bother whose son he could be or where he could have come from. He' just enjoyed Jake's pleasant company.

Hamilton has been hanging out with Jake, he's found in him that part which completes the hole in his heart, so he's just taken a liking to him. Jake is the genuine friend he has ever hoped for. He beat him in all the video games they played but, always casual not to put Hamilton down, and even let him drive his bike, he really appreciated their friendship, until Jake kissed him that time. As if he were slapped and became aware of the past days, he spent alone with him without wondering if it were a good thing. He just went along spending most of his time with Jake's good company, which he can never imagine himself doing again now, especially in his room. With all the tension and butterflies he senses jumping in him the second he's near Jake, wanting both to hit him and kiss him, he can barely manage to restrain himself when he is in the same room with him.

He has taken notice of that feeling of strong complicity that has been built between the two of them; he despises himself for his cowardice of how it would feel to kiss him just once again. He harbours in his bosom feelings of deep insecurity, if it happened again, that would just feel as good as it felt on the roof top.

And so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself
And never talk about it
And did not go and shout it

When you walked into the room ...
"I think I love you!" (I think I love you)

As Finn dismisses the class, Hamilton wants to talk to Jake noticing him very remote.

"Hi Jake, Wait up!" Hamilton says catching up with her.

Jake whips round, "Hey, what's up?" She greets him, edging out of the class room.

"Nothing much", just when Ryder pierces the silence, thrusting past them, "Look where you are going, you idiot!" Hamilton shouts.

"Look what we have here, the dean's daughter finally found a little friend!" Ryder, very dignified, says with a sneer.

"Back off, Ryder, will you!" Hamilton snarls a little out of mind.

"Oh feisty, have fun my ladies!" he says, walking away from them with a smugly smile.

Hamilton is giving him an ugly look, "Man, what a worthless wretch!" he says underneath his breath.

Jake just shakes her head. After falling eerily silent; she asks "So, um, is there something you want?"

"Actually, I'm in dire need of some help to finish the assignment that Finn gave us." He begs avidly, getting panicky.

"Well…me neither. I haven't finished it, yet. We can always work on that together, if you like" she suggests, trying to conceal the nervous tension.

"Sounds great, that clinches it then, this afternoon?" He questions, smiling at her.

"OK", she says.

"Thanks man!" Inwardly rejoicing, Hamilton drops his gaze when Jake's eyes met his.

"No problem, see you later", she chips in obligingly, straying away from him.

"Yeah, see ya", Hamilton responds seeing her wandering off.

I think I love you
So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for

-I'm not going to jeopardize our friendship because of that kiss, nor even that damned dream. I'm willing to better my situation and it's actually well away. I'll just have to make it up for him, I've been avoiding him lately and he seemed really upset. It's not his fault or anything; I know that the problem's coming from me.

I just decided to try again and maintain our platonic friendship. Perhaps it may get back to normality, as it was in the beginning, before that unexpected kiss coming about by accident.

I think I love you
Isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I've never felt this way

Believe me
You really don't have to worry
I only want to make you happy

Jake keeps going back and forth in her room waiting for Hamilton, pondering upon the conversation they had. As though everything were normal between them, she knows, that their so called friendship is everything but ordinary. She is uneasy because she has agreed to help him, she's been on her guard, she shied away from talking to him trying to keep aloof from him but, by a quirk of fate they are constrain to see each other everyday, they have classes together. She's been really careful about what she would say or do. She wouldn't want to make more real hash than she already did by kissing him on the spur of that moment. She can't decide when to tell Hamilton about her secret being a girl.

Jake Pratt arrived at Rawley masquerading as a guy just to get her mother notice her, she wasn't even planning on staying less than a week before her mother would find out and finally come to yank her from that all boys school. She would give her the attention she has always asked for, which was the mainspring of her coming and of that whole screwed up situation for that matter, but never did. Jake's fallen head over heels in love with Hamilton in spite of her; she has started that friendship with him and could not resist and recklessly kissed him. He threatened her and told her he wasn't interested in, thinking she was a gay guy, even though she assured him she wasn't.

And if you say
Hey, go away, I will

She can see the way he acts, especially in front of all the guys around them, and she understands that he would not want all the school to think he is gay, and neither would she wanna have the others interpret the thing between Hamilton and her that falsely. Jake hasn't left the school; Hamilton is precisely the obvious and main reason. She likes it here; it has a real nice homely feel to her. All she wants now is to let him know her secret and make him understand that her still presence is all about him.

I don't really feel up to it, I can't imagine myself telling him and yet if he even feels the same way I feel for him... oh God, what if he doesn't, I don't think I can stand his rejection. I'm just going to make a complete ass out of myself…. That's it! I'm going to try to keep being friend with him; I'd rather be just his buddy than to have him not speaking to me at all. To my dismay, that day when he didn't talk to me, it's been really tough, having him that close but feeling him so far, I'd sooner die than go through that again! He is the real good friend I ever had. So I guess he'll never know about my little secret, I really fear his reaction if he finds out someday. I so don't want to hurt him; I think it's too late to let him in on it anyways. He'll hate me… which means it'll just ruin our friendship that I value and hold so dear", she mused.

But I think better still
I'd better stay around and love you
Do you think I have a case?

Let me ask you to your face
Do you think you love me?

While Jake is pondering upon the folly of the situation, Hamilton is standing just before her room; his hand hovers over the door. Anxious not to lose his beat he pulls himself together and raises his hand to knock.

"Come in!" comes the voice on the other side.

Hamilton half-opens the door just to let himself in then closes it behind him.

"Hey", his eyes met a face of exquisite beauty, when she grins at him.

Oh Lord! I just can't tear my eyes off that cute face, making it harder when he smiles.

"Um, look Jake, I know I've been a little distant lately and I wanted to apologize", he speaks "Even though I told you I was cool with what happened before, I still feel a bit ill at ease around you…", Jake stares at him blankly, "but I'm trying not too!" he hastens to add, crooking a smile.

Jake remains silent for a moment then puts forward "So, Shall we start?" breaking the silence.

"Yeah, let's get this over with" Hamilton pipes up half-heartedly; he can tell his heart isn't really in it.

"Alright", eager to start, she beckons him to take a seat.

They sit down on Jake's bed, each on an edge and start the assignment; they devote the evening to complete it. Hamilton has been half concentrating on the work and half observing her movements; it was a suitable occasion while she was immersed in trying unavailingly to zero in on the paper.

I think I love you
So what am I so afraid of?

Awhile lapses, before Hamilton utters "Well, we did the job in a workmanlike way, didn't we", clapping his hands.

"HA-ha, you mean more like I made a good work on my own, Fleming" she teases with a smirk that makes him look foolish.

"Gee, Jake, that's exactly why asked you to work on it together, I can reckon on you making the work properly. Come to think of it… I take your kindness on trust." He concedes, keeping the hollowness of the conversation to fill the bit of an odd silence.

"Perhaps not" She says in a hiss with a glint in her eye.

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for
I think I love you

She sits up straight to avoid confusion. Smiling helplessly, she hands him the assignment to make sure nothing is missing; he takes it and gives it a cursory glance.

Keeping her eyes lowered, Jake doesn't want to gaze at that handsome face of his, lest she may lose herself and worsen the already-awkward situation. Hamilton has been grazing greedily at Jake, remaining oblivious to the work they've just finished. He's been very taken up with the attempt of shaking all those thoughts of Jake being a gal off his mind, just focusing on that pretty face of hers and remembering himself tracing those soft ruby red lips with his own fingers in that weird dream he's been having as recently as the night before.

'It's amazing how a guy can look that gorgeous. He's too smooth, too cute, too…' He remarks to himself, sucking the end of the pencil he's holding thoughtfully, feeling a pang of sadness and striving sorely against the compelling urge of reaching forward to touch him, just to try at that very moment how it'd feel to touch him for real, thirsting for one small kiss, how his lips would feel pressed against his.

Isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I've never felt this way

However much he tries, Hamilton can't restrain himself. He eventually caves in, closing the gap between the two of them and cradles Jake's face in his palms. Caught flat-footed, she can't react, on a sudden impulse, Hamilton kisses her; pouring all the hidden feelings that have been kept in check, that mixture of love, yearning, desire, and want all in that heart blowing kiss, which Jake impulsively responds to. Grasping at the opportunity with full equality, all that time awaiting and praying for that precious moment to arrive, it feels so surreal she can't quite believe it; it looks like just a dream for her.

Hamilton pulls back to look Jake in the eye, that kiss has just borne out his feeling for her; he can see her troubled brow. When the tears start to well up in her eyes, she does not want him to see them streaming down her cheeks; she immediately gets up from his side and strides over to her desk, leaning on one hand and steadying herself to keep an upright posture with her back turned to him.

I don't know what I'm up against
I don't know what it's all about
I've go so much to think about

"Why…why in the world have you just done that? Hamilton" she demands. "You were the one who threatened about that ever happening again," she blurts, attempting to put up a spirited resistance.

By the time Hamilton has crept up right behind her: "Oh Jake! I… I'm solely responsible for this, I know." He utters with a gulp, casting a desperate glance at her.

Her heart gives a quiver as she stiffens then, whirls around with a startle to face him.

He has noticed her cheeks streaked with tears, he just holds her face in his hands and gently brushes them away. "Why is this happening to me, Jake? I fantasise about sharing a kiss with you…Jake, you don't know what that means" He admits frantically, running a hand through his shaggy hair.

Jake doesn't understand what he is driving at, "No! I don't know, but you can tell me", she demands petulantly.

Hamilton has sensed the rising tone of her voice "Don't give me that, you know damn well what I mean" he shouts, making her look startled.

Hey! I think I love you!
So what am I so afraid of?

He doesn't like the way their conversation is going at all. Making a laughable attempt at reconciliation and giving full vent to his feelings he begins: "You're haunting my dreams; you have me thinking about you all the time; you're the first thing I think about the morning I wake up, and the last one before sleeping, and what beats me is that I know I love girls, and everything about them; but you JAKE… I can't explain it, that defied description. You maybe think I've taken leave of my senses but I've even dreamt about you… being a GIRL". He just stares at her with a look of entreaty, seeking for any response from her; he can perceive her more frightened than hurt.

"But that doesn't give you the right to just…just kiss anyone as the fancy takes you…you didn't even ask if…" she trails off slightly when he cuts her off, touching lightly her lips with his, willing longingly to convey his heart's desire, "I don't care about you being a guy, or what anybody could think, I just can't do this anymore. I know now what I want, Jake, I want you more than just a friend. I tried with all my might to deny and evade my feelings towards you, but instead they have evolved, you are the first and only person who makes me feel this way, and it hurts all the time to see you and not be able to tell you, if only you knew. So please…please be honest and tell me how you feel", he says, making up the full confession that permeates through Jake. A tear rolls down his cheek and Jake wipes it off.

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for
I think I love you

It takes every ounce of strength she has, "Hamilton, I… I think I love you", all of a tremble she confesses, her eyes smouldered with passion.

Hamilton's eyes widen, as his face lightens up with a broad grin, his heart is filled with a sudden feeling of joy. Leaning forward, she stops him, raising her slender fingers to his mouth. He gives her a wondering look.

"I have to tell you something very important first…I'm…I'm a girl, Hamilton", Hamilton looks at her queerly as if she were crazy then Jake starts taking off her long sleeve shirt and the binder comes separated after, when he begins to doubt the evidence of his own eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know how or when would the perfect moment be to let you know, and I'm sorry for what I put you through" when she starts sobbing, tears running down her face, he steps up to her and hugs her tightly.

"Its okay, Jake, I'm sure you had your reasons for doing this. It's not something you enjoy doing!" he states primly trying to soothe her.

"Hamilton, if I stayed here, it was just because of you", she tells him tearfully, racked by guilt in her own small way.

Isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I've never felt this way

At last she queries in a forlorn hope "Can you forgive me?" lulled into his embrace.

"Jake, I can never be mad at you; I couldn't if I tried. You're so beautiful", the colour drains from her face when she looks up, her sparkling eyes round with surprise.

"Thank you, Hamilton. I'm grateful to you for forgiving me. You're so good to me, only a true friend with a big heart could do that." She smiles her thanks with a blush laughing away her cares.

"I was just thinking how ironic it all is. You know, I've been through hell since the day you kissed me, somehow deep down in the center of my being I always knew", He admits.

"Knew what?" she inquires, wrinkling her brows.

"That you were a girl; how couldn't I notice that, Jake, you are too much pretty to be a guy, you are my world and the girl of my dreams … looks like my dream has finally been fulfilled", He replies, stroking the back of her tapered hands that's brought a flush to her cheeks.

"God, I don't even know your real name, I don't think it is Jake, is it?"

"It's Jaclyn" She answers him, her voice tense with emotion.

"Jaclyn" he repeats her name. Smiling with confidence, he smothers her angelic face with kisses washing away all her tears.

I think I love you!
So what am I so afraid of?
I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
A love there is no cure for

He pulls her gently with him to her bed where they lie down, hugging tightly and soaking in the heat of each others arms.

"Jaclyn!" Hamilton whispers softly, clasping her in his muscled arms.

"Yes Hamilton?" She lifts up her head to stare into those incredible baby-blue eyes of his.

"I love you", he confesses, looking her squarely in the eye as he tightens his arms around her middle.

"I know…and I love you too" She responds softly with a sweet smile, hugging the memory of that moment to herself, she nestles against him. Locked in a passionate embrace they peacefully begin to fall asleep.

Fate has thrown them together and their lives are inextricably intertwined; neither a person nor a thing can tear them apart.

True love is such a rare feeling.

Isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries me to say
I've never felt this way

The End