Chapter Fifty Five
0430
1395 Kalmia Drive
King George, VA
Mac woke up and reached over to pull Harm closer to her. It was 0430 and she was missing his presence in the bed. She wanted to spend a couple of more minutes in his arms, but she realized she wouldn't get her wish, Harm was no where in sight. She heard him in the nursery. Mac crawled out of their bed and walked into the nursery. She entered the room and found him just staring at in her crib. "You know, she isn't going to disappear. Harm, come to bed with me. "
"I know Mac, just days like this I need to watch the baby sleep. I need to know that I am doing the right thing by packing up and leaving my beautiful girls behind."
"Harm, you need to realize that you are not leaving by choice, but you are being ordered to go. Your girls will not forget you. They are always going to know what a good father you are, and we are going to think of you every night, and we are going to write you an email every night, and you are going to get pictures every night. You may not be able to be here for them, but that doesn't mean that you won't know what they are up too."
She leaned in to kiss him, and they watched Mackenzie sleep for just a little bit longer. Their reverie of watching their little girl was soon broken by a scream coming from Mattie's room. Harm ran down the hall into Mattie's room. She was tossing and turning in her covers. He sat down on her bed and stroked one of her curly strands out of her face. "Mattie, honey, wake up, it's just a nightmare."
Her eyes opened with a start. "Daddy, they had you. You crashed, and they had you. We thought you were dead."
"Baby, it was just a nightmare. Look, I am right here."
"I know it was just a nightmare, I'm fine now."
"Mattie, you don't have to be brave for me, do you know that?"
"Yeah Dad I know that."
"You know Mac is going to be here for you. Remember to let her be the mom every so often. Now crawl back under the covers and let your old man tuck you in. You hardly let me do that anymore."
"I know Dad. But I am getting older."
"But don't forget that you are my little girl always."
"Dad, you are such a sap, but you are my sap. I love you."
"I love you too baby. Get some sleep." He tucked Mattie back into bed and kissed her on the cheek.
"You know Dad, you got really good at this dad stuff really quick, and you make it look really easy."
"It's only easy because I have two really good beautiful girls. Now close your eyes and dream good dreams. If you need me again, I am down the hall."
The next morning Harm woke up early and watched the sunlight spill onto Sarah's face. He would never admit it to her, but at night and while she was sleeping, she was very much his Sarah, beautiful and calm, and while she was awake she was his Mac, a take charge Marine. He smiled as he watched her smile in her sleep. She looked so peaceful when she slept; no one ever knew that she was a kick-butt marine when she awoke in the mornings.
Mac had the strangest feeling that someone was watching her as she drifted slowly in between consciousness and dreamland. She woke up slowly and caught him staring at her. "Morning Gibraltar."
"Gibraltar? Is there another man you are replacing me with Mac? You could at least wait until I'm gone, yesh!" He teased her crawling back into their bed hovering over her.
"I would never replace you, I swear! You know Gibraltar, as in rock of Gibraltar? You know, sometimes you are so dense." She teased, pulling him down on top of her.
He caressed her face slowly with his fingertips. "You are so soft, so beautiful. I'm kinda bummed that Mackenzie doesn't have your eyes. She would be the spitting image of you almost, your looks my brains."
"I love your eyes and her eyes. They pierce into my soul breaking down almost every wall that I have up. She has your smile, the killer Rabb smile. You are going to have a hard time when she starts dating."
"I won't have to worry about her when she starts dating, the boys will have to worry about my service weapon!" He kissed her snaking his hand up her night shirt, yet again one of his old academy t-shirts and began to tickle her. She broke out into fits of laughter.
She tried to tickle him back, only sneaking in a couple of assaults on his body when reinforcements came into the room to help her out. Mattie had entered the room with a very wide awake Mackenzie. "Mom, Dad, guess what I found Mackenzie trying to learn how to do!"
"What honey?" Mac asked wiping the tears from her eyes.
Mattie didn't answer. Instead she climbed up on their bed and put Mackenzie on her stomach. She looked at her parents intently and then looked at her older sister. All of the sudden she got this concentrated look on her face and propped herself up on all fours. Something she had never done before.
Harm immediately picked her up off the bed and threw her in the air. "You are so smart," he squealed at her. "Soon, you will be crawling!" He looked at Mackenzie and Mattie. He put Mackenzie back down on the bed and left the room.
"Mom, did I do something wrong?"
"No honey. Your dad is just going through a tough time with having to leave his girls."
"I wish he didn't have to go." Mattie said staring wistfully at a picture of her and Harm together.
"I know honey. Can you feed your sister? I need to knock some sense into his head."
"Mom, how can you let Dad go to the Pat?"
"I don't have much of a choice. Yes, I will miss him terribly, but I know that he will be home soon." She handed Mackenzie to Mattie and went downstairs to find him. She found him by the fireplace. She put her hand on the small of his back and kissed the back of his neck.
"You know, I love it when you do that."
"Uh huh."
"You know if you don't quit it we will have another little baby running around the house."
"Uh huh."
"You know I love you, and wouldn't leave you if I had the choice."
She moved towards his jaw line and then to his lips. "There is only one thing I want you to remember is how much me and the girls love you."
"I could never forget that Mac." Him and Mac went into the kitchen and found Mattie helping them out like she said they would. He put a pot of coffee on to wake everyone up.
His parents were the first people to come down the stairs. "Morning Son," Trish said. "Mattie, look at you. You look real good in the big sister role."
Harm looked at the man that he had been so rotten to when he was younger, "Frank, can I see you outside?"
Frank seemed a little startled. "Sure Son." Frank set his coffee cup down on the kitchen island and followed his pajama clad stepson to the pool area. "You are scared out of your mind Harm." Frank said to him before Harm could get a word out.
"Yeah Frank I am. How did you know?"
"Just because I don't say much, doesn't mean I didn't notice the look that you had last night that is more profound this morning. It is the same look your mother had on her face when you called and told us about this deployment. Harm, you don't have to hide and put on a brave face."
"Frank, I am leaving for a war that not many people agree with, just like Dad. I am leaving a family behind, just like Dad. I need you to promise me something."
"Anything Harm."
"If something happens and I don't come back, I want you to help make sure that my kids, Mac, Sergei, and Jen still live their life and follow their dreams. Don't let them become obsessed with my death like I was with my dad."
"Harm, I will try to insure that everything you want to happen for them comes true. But I will tell you one thing, you have a very stubborn 15 year old when it comes to you and a stubborn fiancée who is even worse."
"Thank you. Frank, I have something to give you before I go."
"Harm, you didn't have to do that." Frank said as Harm handed him a small wrapped gift. Frank opened it and found a small sculpture of father and son, not a traditional one of a young man and child but it depicted an elderly man embracing his grown up son. The plaque underneath it read simply read "Thank you Dad."
"Harm, I don't know what to say. I love you Harm. Come home safe."
"I will Frank I will. Frank, I'm scared." Harm said sinking to his knees. "I'm not scared for me, but for my family. I don't want them to have to go through what Mom and me went through."
"You can't control that, no one can. Fly smart and come home."
"I promise I will try to."
"This has been exhausting, let's go spend some time with our wonderful family."
They walked back inside and Frank went up to the guest room to put up his sculpture. He passed a picture of Harm Sr. on the credenza in the hallway. He picked it up and sent a silent prayer to the heavens praying that his son would not meet the fate of his father.
They drove to Andrews several hours later to drop Harm off. They found their favorite ZNN correspondent there, Stuart Dunston.
"Rabb, picking someone up?"
"Nope, dropping someone off."
"You? What's the case?"
"No case. I'm TAD to the Patrick Henry for air wing. What are you doing here?"
"Doing a story on how the war affects our families. Care for your family to be a part?"
"I don't think so."
Several hours later they were saying their goodbyes. Harm was standing in the terminal holding Mattie close, tears were streaming down her face. "Dad, don't go."
"Baby, I have to. But I will talk to you whenever I have the chance. Be good for Mac will you? Help out with Mackenzie."
"I'll see you in a couple of months." Mattie hugged him one more time and ran to the arms of Jen who had already said her goodbye.
Sergei handed his brother Mackenzie. She was screaming like a siren, it seemed as if she knew that her Da would be leaving her. She instinctively held on to him as if her life depended on it. He kissed her fine baby hair and stroked her back until she calmed down, he didn't want her to get worked up.
Sergei hugged his brother and wished him a good luck. Admiral Chegwidden came out to wish Harm luck, Harriet brought little AJ and Jimmy. He hugged the boys and hugged Harriet.
"Help Sarah through this will you?"
"Of course." Harriet replied.
He gave her one last hug and shook Bud's hand. "Sir, I will make sure that Mattie and Mackenzie are okay."
"I appreciate that Bud."
Harriet looked at the crew, "Well, I think I will see what we can find close for lunch. Anyone else hungry?"
The rest of the guys got the hint and left Harm and Mac alone. Harm locked his eyes in his hers. Tears started streaming down her face. "I'm going to miss you so much."
He held her tight. "I'll fly safe, I promise, and I will be home soon to hold you close. We can finally get around to planning our wedding once I get back. I love you Sarah."
"I love you too Harm." She heard the announcement for him to board the plane. The tears started flowing more freely.
"Honey, don't cry."
"I can't help it. I'm scared."
"I'm scared too baby." He squeezed her and thumbed away her tears and kissed her eyes. "I love you. Don't forget it."
"Never. I love you too Harm." She took something out of her pocket and slipped it into his hand. "It's a locket. I know men don't wear these sort of things, but just keep it near to you."
"Mac, I love it, and I will wear it close to my heart." He kissed her. His tongue traced her lips as he we seeking hers. An urgent but passionate kiss. Then her internal clock kicked it; it was time for him to go. She walked him as far as she could and watched the love of her life disappear down the terminal.
Mac dropped to her knees and started sobbing into her hands. She had never felt so alone, but so loved in that moment. She felt someone embrace her. "Sarah, it will be okay. My son will come home."
"Thank you Trish. I better go to the restroom before seeing the girls. They will know something is wrong." Sarah Mackenzie got up from the terminal chairs and went into the restroom to freshen up. Before Trish could realize it, Sarah Mackenzie was gone and Mac the Marine had returned. "Trish, where are we meeting everyone?"
At that moment Trish knew what Mac was doing. She was building walls around her heart to steel herself for bad news. She knew it, because she had done it too. "We are meeting the girls and the Roberts at a hamburger joint down the road."
Trish hugged Mac and they made their way back down the terminal. "Trish, I miss him already."
"I know you do Sarah."
AN-Okay – A lot of this chapter with him leaving happened in my own life, a hodgepodge between my boyfriend leaving after 9/11 and my dad getting transferred to Diego Garcia when I was 4 for six months. Military Brats, what can I say.
