one-shot. just a thought i had. i really don't understand how she can always be so happy, so i decided that she isn't! hehe...anyways, that's it.


"I'm so sick of pretending. Everybody thinks I'm some one I'm not."

Tohru Honda sat on a rock in the woods, speaking softly to a bird in a tree a few yards from her.

"But what can I do? I can't stop now...I couldn't."

She sighed.

"No one knows. They all think I'm happy and content, but I'm not. Not really. Nobody knows how sad I am. All the time."

She raised her face to look at the bird.

"Lucky. People don't judge you. You don't have to hide what you feel. Ever. Not like me."

She paused, then looked back at the bird.

"You know what the most ridiculous part is? Thinking that I don't cry. That's total bullshit! Of course I cry! Why the hell wouldn't I cry? My father is dead! My mother is dead! I live every day terrified that Akito is going to have my memory erased! Why do they all assume that I'm happy?"

She stopped, and wiped her frustrated tears from her face.

"But what am I supposed to do? My friends need me. They count on me being there to comfort them, and give advice, and be the positive one. Yuki and Kyo...I can't burden them with my problems too, they have enough to worry about. But I wish there was some one, any one, who would realize that it's all pretend. See past the surface. Just enough to ask. And really want to knw. Oh well, I'm dreaming."

A quick sob escaped her throat.

"I wish Mom was here. I miss her so much. She'd know. She always knew. It isn't fair. She never did anything wrong! She didn't deserve to die! She didn't! I miss her..."

She brought her knees to her chest and cried quietly for a bit. After awile she stood and brushed her clothes off.

"Thanks, bird. Fly. Be free while you can, and enjoy it. Don't pretend. Be yourself."

And she slowly started walking back home to make dinner.


right. uh...huh. definitely a one shot. still, review please!