AUTHOR: RaeAnne
TITLE: Crayons and Tears
DISLCAIMER: see part one I haven't a clue who does Skidamarink, but not mine, I just learned it as a little girl.
A/N: Hi, here is the last part, this was a short story, but I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thank you so much for reading (and hopefully for reviewing :-) So for now, Happy Reading –RaeAnne
PART TWO
Crayons and Tears
Tell him! Tell him, I urge myself over and over again, as I drive towards his house. Lindsey is in the backseat singing some song as she colors furiously, a picture for her Uncle Gil. I see her work as I glance in the rearview mirror and it warms my heart…she in so many ways reminds me of me, but it's her strength I wished I possessed.
When I told her about Gil, she looked baffled for only a second then her eyes lit up and she smiled, "Uncle Gil will be okay, I know he will! I'm gonna make him a picture of me…you, him and all his bugs! So he can take it with him to hospital!"
I just melted the faith of a child, innocent and pure. I hugged her so fiercely she pushed me away, "Momma, I love you, but please…I can't breathe," she giggled.
"Sorry, sorry," I laughed brushing away tears, "you're going to have to color in the car, we've got to get Uncle Gil," I smiled. She nodded going for her crayons and paper.
"Linds, sweetheart, I'm going to tell Uncle Gil we're here okay, I'll be just a second," Catherine said before leaving her SUV and heading toward the townhouse.
She paused, hand poised to knock, but she couldn't do it. She wanted so bad to tell him, realizing that this might be her last chance. "It's now or never" Catherine exhaled.
Before she could act either way, silence or admittance, the door opened. Catherine looked blankly at Grissom who smiled shyly making the first move. He handed her an envelope, she looked shocked, unsure.
"Read it during my surgery," he nodded gaze falling to the floor. She nodded slipping it into her pocket.
verse three
"Uncle Gil!" Lindsey's voice rung followed by a giggle as she hoped from the back door of the Tahoe, running towards her mother and Uncle Gil.
"Hey there, Itsy Bitsy," he smiled, calling her by the knick name that he had given her when she was two, when he taught her, his favorite nursery rhythm "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" it made her laugh, he never forgot her smile…just like her mothers.
"Hi! Will you pick me up, I've got something for you!" she grinned.
Gil obliged, lifting her effortlessly.
"I made you this! See?" she handed him her newly finished artwork.
"You did? Linds it's beautiful!" he chocked, looking at the picture.
"See this is me…I'm the short one…and that's you the tall one, and that's mommy in the middle," Lindsey beamed pointing to each one, "and those are all of your bugs!" she nodded with satisfaction.
"Thank you, it is the bestest, best present that I have ever gotten. It will go on the wall in my office," he kissed her forehead.
"You're welcome. I thought this way you'll always have picture of all of us to keep you company…especially while the doctors fix your ears," she grinned wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him close.
Catherine watched from a few steps behind and felt her eyes tear up.
My daughter she can make me laugh, make me sigh, make me grumpy…she can make me cry…she can make Gil cry.
My daughter knows people; she can tell when they are sad, when they're happy, when they need a hug. She's a child and children are pure, they see clearly.
I've come to realize that I wish I could have back that innocence and unfettered view of the world, then maybe like my daughter I could throw my arms around Gil's neck and tell him "I'll love you forever" but I am an adult, I am jaded.
"Okay Mr. Grissom, you will be taken down to pre-op in just a few minutes," a nurse finished checking things on her chart, and turned out of the room.
"Well Mr. Grissom, are you ready?" Catherine gave a lame attempt at a laugh as she echoed the nurse's prim and proper tone.
Gil looked up from the floor and stopped swinging his legs.
"I am because I have to be," he said plainly watching Lindsey hum and skip around a chair.
"Everything is going to fine," Catherine assured.
They stared at each other for what seemed like both an eternity and only a moment till "We're ready for you," interrupted them.
"Okay Gil…go get 'um...I…good luck," she stuttered before embracing him, her heart telling her to TELL HIM! She swatted at her tears.
He held her tight and close for an extended minute.
"I won't be needing that," Gil pointed to the wheelchair the nurse had brought it, pulling away from Catherine.
Catherine stifled a giggle as he hopped from the table and started out.
"Good luck, Uncle Gil, I love you," Lindsey rushed to him wrapping her arms around his waist.
Gil looked stunned putting his arms around her, "I love you too," he chocked on the words.
Catherine looked like she was about to cry out, but silence echoed in the empty halls.
"I am sorry Mrs. Grissom, you'll have to wait here," the nurse stopped Catherine.
"But I am not…" Catherine started.
"I'm sorry," the nurse shook her head.
Gil continued down the hall and Lindsey skipped around her mother singing, "Skidamarink a dink a dink…skidamarink a doo…"
Catherine laughed through a few tears, it made Gil turn. Her gaze met his; her heart was pounding in her ears.
"I…" Catherine whispered mimicking her daughters' actions, pointing to her eye "…love," her hands crossed over her heart, "…you…" she pointed to Gil, hand shaking.
"Skidamarink a dink a dink…skidamarink a doo…" Lindsey laughed not catching what had transpired between her mother and Gil.
Did I really just do that? Did I tell Gil Grissom I love him by acting out a child's nursery school song? Did he know what I meant? That I truly meant I loved him…?
He's been in surgery now for a little more then an hour…the letter! I can't believe I only now remember the letter!
…Here it is, a bit wrinkled but I smooth it out.
His writing is clear on the front of the small white envelope "Cath, I hope this finds a way into heart," my hands shake as I open it. The first lines make me sob, make me want to curl up and just re-read them over and over again.
verse four
"I know, my timing isn't the greatest, I know you may not feel the same. I know that I may after today never hear you say my name…let alone "I love you" but I have to tell you I've loved you since the day I met you. I have fallen more in love with you everyday since. I should have said something sooner I know, but I am saying it now. I love you. Even if I don't ever hear you say "I love you" know that love isn't just about words, its so much more and I would like to have the opportunity to show you every aspect of my love for you.
I know I don't deserve you, I know that I am a man who shuts himself away from the world, from people, and often from you, but maybe…just maybe you can change me…"
verse five
Tears, tears, lots and lots of them. I think I could have filled Lake Mead all by myself with the tears I've just cried. I love him, so much…
"Mrs. Grissom? Your husband is in his room, you can go see him," a nurse stepped into the waiting room, Catherine didn't even bother correcting her.
"Thank you! Yes, we want to see him! Is he okay?" Catherine rushed picking up a sleeping Lindsey.
"Right this way," the nurse led them.
They entered the room, Gil lying in the sterile white sheeted bed looking a little pale, sleeping.
Catherine put Lindsey in one of chairs before stepping to the bed rail. She ran her fingers through his hair carefully, more tears falling. She cupped his cheek realizing just how deeply her love, her need of him really was.
"I love you," she smiled leaning to kiss his forehead. "I love you… I love you…" she said again pulling back.
His eyes opened and she laughed brushing tears away.
"Hey there," she smiled finding his hand and squeezing it.
Oh, I love you
verse six
"It's good to hear you voice," he coughed, voice scratchy.
"Oh Gil!" she grinned.
"It's doesn't mean anything…yet…but" he paused coughing again, throat dry. He met her eyes and she blushed. He smiled lifting a hand to touch her cheek, "I am glad I heard you say those three little words I've wanted to hear for so long… you know I love you too."
She put her hand over his and because words wouldn't come, she just nodded.
:"Can I kiss you?" he asked with a sly grin pulling at the corner of his mouth.
"You better," she laughed.
He leaned up and she leaned down their lips meeting softly. It was perfect, it was love manifested.
end verse
The End
