knock knock knock knock knock

"I am going to kill whoever that is with a screwdriver," Max muttered to himself. He rolled over grudgingly and looked at his alarm clock as the knocking continued. "It's Saturday and it's 3:30 in the flipping morning and someone is knocking at my door."

He hadn't had a very good night's sleep up until that point. Well, he actually hadn't had a good night sleep since Donna left a month ago, but tonight had been especially bad. Rabid thunderstorms had plagued the Delaware Valley since yesterday afternoon and Max had always had trouble sleeping through thunderstorms.

While he rummaged around for his slippers, he felt the pain attack his heart again. 'Donna always knew where my slippers were,' he thought as the familiar tears began to fill his eyes. 'She always knew where everything was.'

After about two weeks of no contact with her, Max began to conduct himself as though he was divorced. He found a clothes cleaning service to come pick up his laundry every week and a maid to come and clean the house once a week, because Max soon realized that the only thing he had ever done around the house, besides small handyman jobs, was mow the lawn. Donna had taken care of everything.

Their 25th anniversary had been on Tuesday. In a fit of rage and pain, Max had gotten all of the locks changed. He only got three keys made; one for him, one for Caleb and one for Maeghan.

Making his way down the stairs and to the front door, Max began to imagine the worst-case scenario for whoever was at the door.

"Meg's been raped, Caleb's been beaten, Meg and Steve's house burned down," he said to himself as he swung open the door.

"Donna?"

The shivering form of his prodigal wife stood before him on their porch. "Hi, Max."

Both of them just stood there for a minute before she finally cleared her throat and spoke. "I was just going to leave this on the kitchen table for you, but it appears you've had the locks changed."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

She bit her lip and smiled sadly as she pulled a thick envelope out of her pocket. "This letter explains everything that has been going on in my heart for a long time. If, after you read it, you still want to be my husband, meet me at the Starbucks downtown right as they open at 6am. I'll wait there until 7. If you're not there by then, just leave the door unlocked. I'll come pick up all of my stuff sometime today and move out."

"Back to Josh?" He sneered.

It took everything in her not to break out into tears at that point. "Just read the letter, Maxwell. Please."

His eyes followed her all the way back to the car as he fingered the enveloped in his hand. He stood there at the door, watching her until he couldn't see the car anymore. Then he quietly shut the door and went to his favorite chair in the family room. Settling himself down, he opened the letter and began to read.

xxxxx

She had already reserved a room at a bed and breakfast right in downtown Doylestown. Once she arrived, she took a shower, changed clothes and stared at the clock.

4:00

4:01

4:02

la lalala lalalaaaa

Automatically reaching for her cell phone, she checked the number on the screen.

"Who could this be? Hello?"

"Where the hell are you?"

"Josh! What are you doing up?"

"My surgery's scheduled for 7:30. They need me there two and a half hours in advance. We're driving to the hospital."

"Is CJ with you?"

"No, she's coming a little later. Why?"

"It was her job to make sure that you didn't call me."

"Is that why she took my cell phone from me yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"So where are you calling from?"

"The phone in the limo."

"Why are you calling?"

"To find out why you aren't with me."

"Because I'm married, Joshua."

"That's never stopped you before."

"Well, it should have. It's taken me 25 years to realize that all along, it should have stopped me from –" she abruptly cut herself off.

"From what?"

Donna took a deep breath, "From loving you."

Josh's world stopped turning as he breathed out, "You love me?"

Donna felt the tears begin to collect in her eyes, "I did once, yes."

"How long ago?"

"About three days."

Josh almost dropped the phone, "What changed?"

"I admitted a lot of truths to myself and I said goodbye to you."

"No you didn't! You just disappeared! I had the press conference of my life yesterday and you weren't there. I'm having surgery, life altering surgery, today and you're not here!"

"That's right Josh, I'm not. I'm trying to fix my marriage." Her tears had turned into annoyance towards Josh's ignorance and she was beginning to get angry. "Do you know why Josh? Because the two of us have been conducting ourselves like we were married to each other for almost 30 years now! I have been married to another man for 25 of those years and that fact did little to change our behavior. That's unacceptable! I have broken the heart of the man who pledged to take care of mine and I am absolutely ashamed of myself."

"But Donna, I'm dying."

"Oh dear Lord, don't you even try to pull that card on me! As you have said yourself, more times that I can count, we're all dying! And I'm really sorry that you have to die this way, and I have cried hundreds of thousands of tears for you. Please do not lead me to believe that those tears were wasted."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Say goodbye to me, Josh. Because until we can each make the choice to not love each other, we can't see each other."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"Then goodbye Joshua Lyman."

click

It took everything that Donna had not to cry. She had promised herself that she would shed no more tears over Josh as long as he was on earth.

ring

"What Josh?"

"What about my Presidency?"

"Have you been elected yet?"

"No, but our plan was to have you as my executive secretary."

"That plan's a little up in the air right now," Donna replied slowly.

"Ok," Josh replied, equally as slowly. "When will you know?"

"It's all up to Max."

"Ok."

"This is really goodbye for a while now, ok Josh? Don't call again."

"But – "

click

4:45

4:46

4:47

xxxxx

5:45

5:46

5:47

Donna must have looked at her watch four hundred times in the past hour. It took exactly 6 minutes to walk from the bed and breakfast to Starbucks; she had walked it many times in the past hour, just to make sure she wouldn't be late.

5:50

5:51

5:52

Donna grabbed her purse and an extra pack of Kleenex and began the longest walk of her life.

xxxxx