Perfect For You
I took care to avoid him the next day, and did a fairly good job at it. Whenever he'd approach me, I'd quickly make up an excuse to be busy. He was disappointed, I could tell, with a little tingle in my stomach and a smile, that he didn't get to spend time with me. It made me feel good to know that, despite his seeming indifference toward our proximity at the pool, I really did have an affect on him. Though that didn't affect my decision to avoid him, mind you.
Dusk was settling over the beach. Small fires sprung up, dotting the landscape from my view atop a sand dune down the beach. A cold breeze gave my skin goose bumps. I kept thinking of things I should've said to Jack earlier, and shaking my head in disappointment at myself.
"What're you thinking about?" His voice came from my left, and I started. It was as if my thoughts of him had drawn him to me.
"I…what're you doing at the beach this time of night?" I stuttered, but covered by asking a question of my own. Jack smiled that knowing smile that made me feel nervous and exposed.
"House call."
I just nodded, and looked past him to the inviting looking fires.
"Do you want to go join them with me?" he asked, reading my gaze.
I hesitated. "No, that's okay. I should turn in for the night. It's getting late." I said with a fake apologetic smile. His brow furrowed.
"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked, point blank. I blinked.
"Avoiding…avoiding you? I'm not…avoiding you." I stuttered stupidly.
"Yes, Kate, you are. Maybe you're mad at me for pushing you away yesterday at the pool, but you have to know that I was scared you didn't feel the same for me."
My mind reeled. Did he really just say that to me? "No, I'm not mad. I feel bad for letting that happen. This isn't the time or place to be starting something like that." I felt my face go white from the sickening words that just came out of my mouth, but also knew that my face did not betray my emotions. He was hurt and confused. I saw it in his eyes.
"No, I think you're wrong. I think this is the perfect time and the perfect place to start something like this. Everyone needs someone to give and get comfort in a place where it's easy to feel so completely alone." Jack took a step toward me, his hands hovering over my arms, too scared to touch me, but wanting to be close all the same.
"I can't give you comfort, Jack." I said, finding it harder than expected to say.
"Yes you can. You do." He took another step in to me, letting his arms run from my shoulders to my elbows. I drew in a ragged breath, keeping my eyes from his, afraid of completely losing control.
"This is a mistake. You're making a mistake, the only thing you will get from me is disappointment and hurt." I said, clenching my jaw to try and quell the tears that were rising in my eyes.
"You couldn't disappoint me if you tried." He half smiled, but the fear rising in my chest distracted me. I felt something closing in on me. Something completely new, that I had never felt before. For a brief moment, I thought that maybe…just maybe I wouldn't have to run. Maybe I wouldn't have to work so hard at not getting hurt, at being happy. That it would just happen.
I felt, with horror, a tear run down my face. Jack's brow stitched.
"Please don't cry, Kate. I won't be able to handle that." He whispered.
"Why not?" I asked in a fierce whisper,angry at myself for showing such a weakness.
"Because you hold me together. Don't you know that?" He asked quietly. I was in shock. I was pretty sure my jaw hung open slightly, but was too concentrated on the way his eyes looked into mine to really know for sure. I shook my head slightly. "Since the first day, when you stitched me upinthe jungle, I felt tied to you."
A feeling of guilt so intense invaded me. This shouldn't be happening. It didn't make sense. Never mind that it felt more right than anything I've ever felt before. Such a flawed person like me didn't deserve such a man as Jack. He was too far above me. He was supposed to be with someone who would let him into her secrets, who could love him as he deserved to be loved. All these thoughts ran through my mind in a single moment as he paused, before speaking again.
"Your strength through this ordeal was so immense that it spilled over onto me and carried me through when I wanted to give up. You carried me through." He said gentler. I breathed.
"This can't be happening." My disbelieving eyes looked far away into the night, searching for answers.
"Why not?"
"It's too good. You're too good." I explained. It was obvious.
"Too good for you? Never. I'm perfect for you. And you, you are perfect for me." He stated matter-of-factly.
"Jack, you're everything I want to be. Everything I can't be, because of the things I've done." I took care in explaining. I didn't want him to think I couldn't be with him because I didn't like him. I couldn't be with him because of every other reason in the world.
"Kate, I don't care what you did in the past. We all get a new life here. You don't even have a past anymore if you don't want it."
His naivety suddenly made me angry. Why did he want to make me question every promise I'd made to myself for nearly my entire adult life? He thought he could just swoop down in a crisis and save me with his romantic ideas of life and love? I didn't need saving. That's not how the world works, believe me. I'd given up on heroes a long time ago. "Jack, this isn't a fairy tale. We can't make the facts go away. We're on an island. What makes you think this will work?"
"The look in your eyes right now as you look at me. The way your body felt in my arms. I know you felt it, too. It was so right it scared you, didn't it?"
Boy, he nailed that one on the head. Okay, so Jack was my hero. So maybe deep down I never really gave up hope that I could truly be happy someday.
It took me a moment to compose myself and form rational words. When I finally did speak, it was in a near whisper, and my voice sounded as if it came from somewhere other than myself. I sounded confused and amazed. "All I know is that when I felt your arms around me, I couldn't breath. I couldn't think. There was only you. And me. I've never had that before. I felt like a fool because I thought it meant nothing to you."
"It meant everything to me. It was only a sliver of what I feel for you." Jack reassured me fervently, squeezing my arms.
"You know I don't deserve you, Jack. You should be with someone who can tell you the truth. Someone who isn't afraid to love you." I replied, shaking my head timidly.
"Don't be afraid." He whispered, bending down to me. I looked into his eyes, and felt his breath on my lips. Suddenly, every anxious and confusing emotion that had tormented me since we crashed formed into sensible words which spilled from my mouth involuntarily.
"I've never cared for anyone the way I care forthe people on this island. The way I care foryou."
Then, he leaned forward quickly and kissed me. Passionately, as if it was the last kiss he'd ever get. My hands automatically went to the back of his neck, pulling him to me. He held me to his body tightly as we kissed. I pulled away and set my face in the crook of his neck, placing a tentative kiss there. I heard his heart beating wildly, and felt his chest rising and falling against me.
So that's what it's like to kiss Jack, I thought to myself with a faint smile. After all this time wondering, I finally found out for myself just how he tasted, and just how his lips felt. They were soft, of course, just like I imagined they would be. I leaned back a bit to look into his deep chocolate eyes. I couldn't help but smile.
"What do we do now?" I asked, knowing he'd have the answer. Because that was Jack. It was just one of the things that made him who he is: the greatest man I've ever known. So what if he was also the hardest to get to know? All things good to know are difficult to learn.
"It'll come to us." He whispered, setting his forehead against mine and staring into my eyes with a smile. A smile that lit up his eyes, his entire soul. I felt like smiling. And I would've, but my lips obeyed the command my body gave it, and parted to taste his sweet kiss again. And again, and again.
A Hawaiian proverb says, the Lehua blossom unfolds when the rain treads on it. The same is true in all of life. Even from a nightmare can be born a dream. Rain makes mud and roses. Some of the sweetest berries grow amongst the sharpest thorns. There are a thousand ways to say it, but they all mean the same thing. Every life has obstacles. Do not lose hope in the face of adversity. Just wait, sunshine is right around the corner. It may become the greatest blessing you'll ever receive. It all depends on the people you have to lean on in the hard times, until good ones come around again.
So what'll become of me, you ask? That, I know not. All I can do is jump in headfirst and hope for the best. But what I do know, is that whatever happens, I'll be okay. Because wherever I go, I will go with all my heart.
There is a chance for happiness now. There is hope, even for me. Jack gave me that. And he who has hope, has everything.
Goodness, I think I got more reviews on one chapter of this little story than any one chapter of my other, longer, more serious stories. I have 2 LOST stories posted, by the way, if any of you are interested in checking them out. I certainly would appreciate hearing from you!
Moon's Tear
standardblack - I, too, love Jack when he's so lighthearted and flirty.
bwcheer
FluteMarcher
Gowland
Eclypse
Shanters2005 - Thanks, I needed a compliment on my 1st person POV to make me feel more secure.
Kitts - lol thanks for the very eager review
CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88
soccerroxmysox
Austin B.
