Remember? Everyone's running away from the witch thing?
"IIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Doom. Doom. Doom."
"Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!"
The camera light is turned off and it's pure darkness.
Minimoose sounds like he's losing his UNQUESTIONING MOOSEY MIND!
"BE QUIET!"
"I HEARD KIDS SCREAMIN'!" Gir shouts wildly.
"...I don't like you," says Zim.
So it cuts to dawn and you can see again! Yaay!
Zim stands up. "Hmm...it sounds like that horrible witch-thing is gone. Come, Minions of ZIM!"
So, the minions of ZIM! followed ZIM! back to CAMP! ZIM!
It cuts back to the tent, with everything scattered around the campsite.Thousands of rubber pigs, a human disguise, and some cheese.
Gir screams and picks up all of the pigs to check if they're okay, Minimoose squeaks but whatever he says is censored, and Zim starts filming this crazy shiznit.
"Who brought the cheese!" Zim snaps.
Gir says, "I know! No wait...I dunno."
"Squeak."
"Did you have to bring cheese that's covered in earth slime?"
"Squeak? Squeak."
"That is most certainly not water! Look!" Zim touchs the cheese and doesn't burn. And then he realizes he touched slimy cheese. "Gir! Bring me the bucket!"
Gir screams and runs over to Zim, hands him a randomly appearing bucket, then runs ahead.
Minimoose floats away.
Zim shudders and walks. "Hey Minimoose."
"Squeak?" was the answer in the distance.
"Why do you think the thing only messed with your stuff?"
"Squeak!"
"Stop being so jolly!"
"Squeak..."
Cuts ahead, omigosh is that the saaame log they crossed?
Nah.
Now everyone runs across the terrifying log and it cuts to Gir filming (filming, dancing, the difference?) Minimoose gives the camera the antler. I guess he meant to give it the finger.
"...I uuuunderstand..." Gir says creepily.
"Of course you do," Zim replies darkly.
Cuts to Minimoose floating alone in the distance.
"Awww," says Gir. "What's wrong with our moosey friend?"
"MINIMOOSE!" Zim is not quite so understanding. "Listen to me! ARE YOU INSAAAANE? You're supposed to be unquestioning!"
"You didn't have to yell at him..."
"I know, I know. Come on Minimoose!"
Nothing.
"Let's GO!"
"Squeak?" asks Minimoose suddenly.
"You smoke?" asks Gir.
"NO I do not have any CIGARETTES now let's go!" Zim's losing it.
"Squeak? Squeak?"
"Come on Moosey! We have CHEESE...I LIKE CHEESE!" Gir says happily.
Cuts to Minimoose floating all eerily and stuff. "Squeak..." he mumbles.
"None of us do, Minimoose," Zim responds. "None of us do."
"I SAWS A CHEESE WITCH LAST NIGHT!" Gir declares happily.
"You LIIIIIIEEEE!"
"WELL IT CAME THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW TO EAT CHEESE I LIKE-"
"Be QUIET!" Zim cuts in.
"Squeak?" Minimoose questions.
"I MEAN THE CHEESE COUNTRY COULD GO ON FOREVER IF WE WALK TOO SLOW!"
"Imposssible! Not on this planet!"
"Squeak?" Minimoose asks skeptically.
"Because this is EARTH, Minimoose. They've destroyed most of their natural resources."
"EARTH EARTH EARTH EARTH EARTH!" sings Gir. To the tune of the Doom Song...the EARTH SONG! Let us sing along until we die!
Zim stops and looks at something ahead, and then starts running forward. "NOOOO!"
Cuts to Zim, Gir, and Minimoose by the stream they crossed a while ago.
"That's the SAME ONE," Zim despairs.
"Noo..." Gir hugs a rubber piggy. "No..."
"Squeak!" shouts Minimoose.
Gir starts to cry.
"Squeak!"
"Yes it IS Minimoose! It IS THE SAME LOG!" Zim insists.
"Squeak. Squeak. Squeak." Minimoose floats over to the log. Defeated, he says "Squeak."
Cuts ahead to Minimoose filming Heather...er Zim...with the camera.
He sighs. "What?"
"Squeak."
"Doom. Doom on you. Really," Zim responds bitterly.
And that sentence was a total inside joke! Squee!
"Please don't fight. I can't fight! I can't listen to fighting!" Gir sobs.
"Squeak."
"STOP FIGHTING!" America loves Gir.
"SQUEAK! Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak SQUEAK!"
"Moosey!" Gir scolds.
"Squeak squeak squeak! Squeak! SQUEAK!"
"BE QUIET!"
"Moosey!"
"Squeak!"
"SILENCE!"
"Stop it Moosey! Stop fighting!" Gir screams.
"SILENCE!" Zim repeats.
"Moosey?"
"Squeak squeak, squeak! Squeak!"
There's a long silence and then Zim says, "What are we fighting about again?"
"Squeak!"
"Oh, yeah. Look, I know I'm filming my alien sidekicks on an Earth camera! It's all I have left! I am ZIM!"
"Squeak."
"Yeah, good point."
Silence.
Whoever was reading this backs away slowly and then breaks into a run.
Then it cuts ahead to darkness again. Zim is mending a hole in his uniform for no reason. At all.
"WE'RE SLEEPING IN THE SAME PLACE WE SLEPT LAST NIGHT! WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET OUT OF HERE!" says Gir.
"SHHH!"
"Squeak. Squeak." Minimoose apologizes.
"Aw, that's okay, Minimoose..." replies Zim.
Gir laughs. "Who wants a CHEESEBURGER?" America loves Mike.
"Squeak! Squeak!"
Zim shudders. "GIR! Silence your thoughts of hideous Earth food."
"Squeak?"
"What?" I am ZIM!
"Mashed po-tae-toes!" is Gir's answer.
"Squeak," adds Minimoose.
Cuts to next morning, Zim outside the tent. "Minimoose! Minimoose!" He turns to the tent. "GIR!"
"Yeeees?" Gir asks all Gir-like.
"Have you seen Minimoose?"
"Moosey?" Gir thinks about this. He shrugs.
"MINIMOOSE! MINIMOOSE!" Zim calls.
"I bet he's going SWIMMING," squeaks Gir.
Zim scoffs. "He could hear me from that horrible Earth creek..."
"Moosey!"
"Minimoose!"
"CHEESE!"
"MINIMOOSE!"
"Master..."
"GIR! You remember how the witch only slimed HIS stuff? About...MINIMOOSE!"
Gir cries hysterically. "MOOSEY! MOOSEY FATES!"
"MINIMOOSE!"
"COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO FIND MOOSEY!" Gir cries.
Cuts ahead.
Zim and Gir trudging around the woods, still. Zim sighs. "We're going East, Gir."
Gir looks confused. "East? I thought you said 'Here, Gir, have a taco'."
"...What?"
Gir smiles and eats a randomly appearing taco.
Cuts ahead-darkness.
A squeak is heard.
"WAGH!" Gir screams. "Is it Moosey, Master?"
A squeak of FEAR is heard.
"Minimoose?"
They unzip the tent and run out. "Moosey! Moosey!"
Silence.
"WHERE'S IT COMING FROM!" Gir squeals.
BLEATING squeak. Shudder.
"MOOSEY! Where are you Moosey! WHERE ARE YOU?" Gir calls.
The squeaks are closer and louder.
"NOOOO!" Gir cries. "YOU'RE NOT DIRT!"
"Minimoose? Where is it?" Zim asks Gir.
"OVER HERE! OVER HERE!...I found a sandwich." Gir whispers.
Zim groans and Gir starts crying uncontrollably. "Minimoose! Curses! Tell ZIM where you are!"
"WHERE ARE YOU SANDWICH?" And this line echos because it's so dramatic! Weeha!
Cuts to next morning.
Zim steps out of the tent to find a bundle of sticks and twigs bound together with swiss cheese.
"Yes..." Zim muses. "I'mgoing to just walk away, right now." So Zim walks backwards for about five minutes until he runs into a tree and ends up back at camp. "GIR!"
"YES MY LORD?" Gir salutes, then happily eats the chicken sandwich he found earlier.
"There's something out here, GIR." Zim tells the sir unit.
"What?" Gir asks vaguely.
Wooo the camera zooms in on the cheese bundle! Hoo-ray! Zim snatchs it and throws it as far as he can.
"THAT WASN'T WISE!" Gir laughs.
Cuts ahead, Zim returning to the bundle of sticks. He examines it closely and calls Gir to eat the cheese.
Gir eats most of the cheese so that the sticks fall apart and inside is...DUN DUN DUN...
Zim is disgusted. "It's filled with cheese and..." he gasps and backs away.
Gir looks at what Zim was freaked out by and picks it up. Eww...an antler. He chews on it, then screams and runs away.
Cuts ahead. Zim is at the river burning the cheese off his hands, screaming.
Gir is swimming. "Lookame Master! LOOKAMEGO! Woohoo!"
Cuts back to tent. Gir using camera. Zim looks like he's losing it. It was all that swiss cheese. Shiver.
"I'm gonna put my gloves on. I'm gonna put my gloves on. I'm gonna put my gloves on my hands." Zim mumbles.
"Aww...you okay, Master?" Gir has calmed down for about five seconds.
Cuts ahead to hiking. Gir is sitting by a stream holding a leaf. He puts the leaf in his mouth, tears a chunk off, and begins to chew.
Zim gets a laugh out of this, but then Gir grins and throws a piece of swiss cheese at him. "The CHEESE! It buuurns..."
Cuts ahead to night. Zim filming himself. Yay, it's confessional time!
"I just want to apologize to...uh...Minimoose...and...uh...Gir. May the force be with you. G'night." Zim then falls asleep randomly.
Cuts ahead to Gir and Zim running around like chickens with their heads cut off. More squeaking is heard.
"SQUEAK!"
"Ugh..."
"SQUEAK!"
"Woohoo! Let's go meet our demise, Master!" says hyper Gir.
"Come on Gir."
Zim and Gir walk towards the sound with the camera.
"SQUEAK! SQUEAK!"
An Earth house appears. Zim freaks out. "Minimoose? Minimoose! Minimoose!"
Gir's happy to see the house. "Oooo, let's explore!" He scurries away.
"Gir. Minimoose?"
Cuts to inside of house.
"Gir? Gir! Gir!"
"Let's go masta!" Gir squeals.
"Where are you Gir?" Zim demands.
"I'm in the hoooouse," Gir says spookily. Oh so spookily.
"GIR!"
A muffled squeak is heard.
"Gir? Gir? Get back here Gir..."
"I's over here! Where's our moosey friend?"
"GIR! Is he in here or not!"
"...Moosey...?"
"Squeak! SQUEAK!"
"MINIMOOSE! Tell me where you are! I command you!" Zim climbs a stair case which has a wall covered in literal cheesy handprints.
Muffled squeak!
"MOOSEY! DID YOU HEAR THAT MASTER? DID YOU HEAR THAT MASTER?"
Unitelligible squeaks and squeaks.
"GIR! I'm going downstairs! Come on! I HEAR HIM DOWNSTAIRS! Come on!" Zim runs down the stairs.
Gir screams. "MASTER?"
"Come on! Minimoose! GIR!"
Gir reaches the cellar steps. "MOOSEY? MOOSEY! MOOSEY IS YOU DOWN THERE!"
"Doom. Doom. Doom."
"GIR! GIR! WHERE ARE YOU?"
Gir descends into basement. "...Moosey?" A hysterical scream is heard. Followed by, "Doom. Doom."
"GIR! MINIMOOSE!" Zim screams and reaches the bottom of the cellar steps. The room is flooded with cheese. He sees Gir standing facing the corner.
"GIR!"
Suddenly, Miss Bitters comes out of the shadows and hands Zim a chunk of a sponge. Zim just stares. "Clean up ALL THIS CHEESE," the witch tells the Zim.
Zim points to a whole sponge. "Can't I use that sponge?"
"No." Miss Bitters retreats to the corner of the room, chanting.
"Doom. Doom. Doom."
Zim takes a breath and falls to his knees in the cheese room. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Camera drops.
Static.
No sound.
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Whoo! That ending sucked! I only got one review? Well, I had fun writing this, soooo...I'm gonna write a sequel anyway! (Scurries away)
