Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. I wish I owned anything special that had to do with Harry Potter. But all I have are stickers, magazine clippings, calendars, and a four-year old shirt. If any of this implies that I am J.K. Rowling to you…get help.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm back! For those reading Harry Potter and Me, I can assure you I'm trying to put up a new chapter ASAP, but the next is one of those sort of long ones that I have to sneak innocent things into if I like…

Anyway, this is a random poem that I got the idea to write one night while brushing my teeth. I thought of the first three verses in bed that night, and wrote the first FOURTEEN in school the next day.

So here it is, without further ado, An Ode to the Shippers!

In the books about Harry Potter,

The characters we know well;

But what they'll be as couples,

We simply cannot tell.

The most common, before book four

Was Harry and Cho Chang;

They kissed under the mistletoe,

While the bells of Christmas rang.

But unfortunately for Harry,

Cho had a tendency to cry;

And finally they parted,

So Harry could stay dry.

This poem is somewhat biased,

As you soon shall see;

For this author says that the best ship

Is Ron, and Hermione.

They'd make an adorable pair, you see,

As friends right to the end;

But if this is to happen, the latter

Must dump her foreign friend.

For the Bulgarian makes Ron go green,

Though Hermione notices not;

She never picked up his jealousy,

In all the times they fought.

The next couple we're looking at,

Has a person from the last one;

Yes, you guessed it—the Boy Who Lived

And a girl called Hermion.

…e.

Though this author finds them platonic

They could make this poem hipper;

After all, it was written to please

The ones who call themselves 'shippers'.

A kiss on the cheek has proved in book four,

That Hermione is rather bold;

But couples with the same first initial?

I'm sorry, but isn't it getting old?

A couple gaining popularity,

Is Ron and Luna Lovegood;

But he doesn't read the Quibbler!

If he loved her, then he would.

A fascinating pair, you'll find

Is Harry and dear Luna

After all, they both see thestrals!

Erm…tuna.

We forgot this ship since GoF

But this author remembers it still;

Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter

Well…it couldn't kill!

But they needed approval of the clan

And Ron's would be hard to get;

But not anymore — he loves the idea!

Anything but Harry getting wet…

A very common ship in here,

is a Gryffindor and a Slytherin;

Hermione and Draco Malfoy

Ew, no slash — that makes me think…

It's fun because it's fantasy,

Never to happen at all;

Imagine Draco the vicar,

Taking Hermy to the Yule Ball.

Another one that some like,

Which makes me go "Oh, please!"

Draco and the Weasley Girl

…Whose nickname can be Weez.

It's weirder because of the actors,

— The ones who portray them on screen —

They're ages aren't as close as that;

They're 13 and 17.

One thing I'll never stand for,

Is what they all call slash;

It makes this magical writing,

Seem like something akin to trash…

So with these words I leave you

To return in hopefully a week

You can guess where this is going — can't you?

Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

Totally random I know but I just couldn't resist the opportunity. Let me know if you like it by way of a REVIEW!!!! And, as with Harry Potter and Me, I'm more than happy to accept requests if you want me to write…er…my opinion about another ship and put it in here.

Oh! By the way…

PoA DVD!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I hope the deleted scenes are good because I'm soooo mad about this one!!!!!! Eurgh, no Quidditch cup! No Marauder background! No…I could go on forever about what bugged me in this. But why should I, when you're crazed fans like me and can share your woes in a REVIEW!!!

Proma