Chapter 5 - Misgivings
The night before they were set to leave for Missouri to find Hawkeye's children, and meet his cousin Matthew, Margaret and Hawkeye sat down, and explained everything that they didn't know about their stories.
"How did Thomas get away with taking the children? You're their mother, and in most custody cases, the mother wins. That's why even if I do find Elaine I'm going to have one hell of a fight getting the girls and Rory back. "
"There was no custody battle Hawk," Margaret said softly, "Tom just came by and picked them up from the babysitter, told her I'd asked him to, and took off. By the time I'd found out, he was already on a plane. The police, the army, everyone searched, no one could find them. Eventually they closed the case, finding no reason to be concerned for their welfare, I've been alone in searching them since before we re-met and made Kelsey."
"Elaine just took off, the divorce was settled by correspondence." Hawkeye said, he understood Margaret's pain. "I don't know how I'm going to get them back Margaret, I'm a single man in a two-bedroom house."
"You will, Elaine may not be bad for their welfare, she wouldn't hit them from what you've said, but also it sounds like she'd be more than glad to hand them over. She's probably sick of them by now Hawkeye. Your job is easier." It seemed that each of them saw their task more impossible than the others'.
"I have to find them, and convince Tom to stop being such a bastard and give them back to me. I'll take him to court if I have to, but how am I supposed to get my children back? I'm a single mother, I haven't had a steady job in months, I've been living of Dad's welfare and the occasional jobs I can scrape up for the week or so I'm in a city, and I don't own a house." Margaret burst into tears, and Hawkeye hugged her tight, tears also in his eyes as he mused on the seeming impossibility of the task ahead.
"We'll do it Margaret, we will, even if we have to get married to prove that we're can provide a stable family for our children." Hawkeye said firmly.
"You'd do that for me?" Margaret sniffled, her eyes now a watery mess.
"I'd even buy you a house if it helped you get your babies back Margaret." Hawkeye said passionately. Love for his children, and Margaret's 3 of whom he'd never met apparent in his voice.
"Is that... love?" Margaret thought, awestruck. "He doesn't even know Ben, Tamara or Laura. Or is it for me...?" But Hawkeye's arms were around her now, soothing her tears; keeping her safe and making her feel calmer.
"Why do I feel so strongly about her children, they're not my own... I wonder what our children would have been like. A little girl named Amanda, after mom and a boy named after whomever she chose. But she seemed happy at the idea of marrying me. I wonder if she loves me enough to make it a real marriage. Mrs Margaret Pierce, my wife, Margaret. How I would love to see BJ and Colonel Potter's faces when I say that. Dad would love it too. He missed out on having a daughter."
Hawkeye's brain ticked over, as he and Margaret got ready for bed. The sleeping arrangements were far from awkward now, pyjamas not entirely forgotten, but certainly eased up on, as Hawkeye preferred sleeping only in shorts, and Margaret a large shirt. Changing of clothes was now also often done in the same room, backs turned modestly, but if any accidental glimpses were caught, it didn't lead to awkward silences, instead resulting in giggles and smiles.
"I wonder if he'd adopt my kids when we find them, Ben, Tamara, Laura and Kelsey Pierce sounds nice. So does Margaret Pierce come to think of it... but he doesn't really love me. He only said he'd marry me to show the courts that we would be a stable home for our children. But Tamara and Laura Pierce especially sound good... I'd love children that were Hawkeye's and mine... a little girl and a little boy. It's not too late for me yet. A baby girl named after Hawkeye's mother, Amanda I think it was, and a baby boy, called James Sherman, after my brother, and Colonel Potter of course. That would be just perfect." No longer surprised by her strange daydreams of a life with Hawk, Margaret let a small smile form on her lips as she brushed her hair.
Occupied with pleasant thoughts of children and a marriage that didn't exist yet, if it ever would, Margaret and Hawkeye talked no more, and slept, peacefully.
