Disclaimer: These aren't our characters, etc.

Author's Note: This is what happens when Athena and Phoenix spend too long rehearsing for "The Taming of the Shrew".

The Play's the Thing

by Athena Phoenix

"You're kidding, right?" The sixteen-year-old boy stared at his aunt in disbelief.

"No – in fact, Mr. Williams specifically asked for you. And you're going to do it. There aren't any jobs available and I'm not going to have you hanging around the house all summer."

"But Aunt Loretta, I've never even been in a play!" John protested.

"Then it's time you gave it a try," she insisted. "Mr. Williams went to a lot of trouble to arrange this summer theatre program. He says you've got a great voice and a good memory, and he thinks you can do it."

John remained stubborn, muttering almost under his breath, "How would he know?"

His aunt smiled slightly, "Maybe the same way I do, John. I hear you and your friends discussing comic books all the time. Phil and Joe swear you've got all the details from the past three years of Green Guardsman memorized."

John was desperate now. The last thing he wanted to do was to stand up in front of everyone he knew, reciting words he didn't understand and probably making a fool out of himself. He had one more weapon at his disposal, though he didn't expect it to work, knowing his aunt's love of education.

"Why do I have to learn Shakespeare? He's a dead white guy."

Although she didn't respond at first, he could tell that his aunt was getting angry by the tightening of her lips. After an uncomfortable moment, she said firmly, "Knowledge doesn't have a color, John. You don't have a choice in the matter. You will go to the rehearsal tonight. You will act in the play. And you will do your very best to make your mother proud of you."

She handed him the script. "You'd better start reading now."

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John had expected to fall asleep reading the play – after all, how interesting could Shakespeare be? And all of those funny names - Petruchio, Tranio, Baptista, Grumio… He tried to imagine himself and his classmates portraying Italian noblemen and women and couldn't.

Then he turned to Act II and his eyes widened. Even without reading the annotations, he was surprised at the bawdiness of some of Petruchio's lines. How the heck did Mr. Williams get the Freeman Community Center board to agree to this? They must not have read the play first. He read on. Fighting, sex…this could be more interesting than I thought.

This Tranio guy seems kind of cool, pretending to be his rich master Lucentio. I suppose I could play him if I had to. No way would I be Petruchio. I don't even know how to pronounce his name!

Mr. Williams read off the list of characters and who would play them, leaving the main roles until the end. John's name hadn't been called, and his heart rose. Maybe he wouldn't have to act after all. Maybe he could just work backstage, reading comics when he wasn't needed. That wouldn't be so bad.

"And for Petruchio…John Stewart." Great. Just freakin' great. He hadn't been paying attention and had no idea who was left to play Kate. I bet she's ugly – and I have to kiss her in the play, twice!

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The following weeks were busy ones for John. The shy, nerdy comics fan had to become Petruchio, a bawdy, self-confident Italian nobleman bent on "taming" his new wife, the beautiful yet obnoxious Kate. Not only did he have to learn many lines, including lightning-fast exchanges of repartee, but he also had to practice the elements of physical comedy when fighting with Kate, knocking over the dining table at his country house, and criticizing the servants. It was a considerable challenge for him. More than once, he entertained fantasies of quitting, but he knew that his aunt would never agree, and somehow he determined to keep trying.

In fact, John was surprised to find that he enjoyed acting, and even more surprised to realize that the confidence he portrayed on stage seemed to transfer to his daily life as well. The boy who rarely spoke to girls found himself bantering with Trakeesha ("Kate") and Shaheena ("Bianca") offstage as well as on. He had spotted other girls giving him sidelong glances – girls who had previously never bothered to notice his existence.

By the time the final curtain fell, John was triumphant. He had conquered his stage fright, impressed the girls with his resonant voice, improved his fighting skills, and made his aunt happy. Not a bad summer, all in all.

And he'd developed quite a liking for feisty women…

The End