Disclaimer: Meg owns almost all.
Michael's POV...
I called for an impromptu break between the original songs and the covers, I need to talk to Felix before continuing. No wait, I need to knock some sense into him.
"Are you ok, Moscovitz?" he asked, following me off stage.
"Am I ok? Am I ok? No, I'm not OK! She's here!"
"Who's here?" he asked. I can't believe he has no clue.
"Mia, you dope! Why is she here? I thought you weren't into her?"
"She came with Hayley. And Hayley came with me. Is there a problem? I thought everything was cool."
"No, everything is not cool. I'm scrapping 'Creep' and 'Here Today, Gone Tomorrow' from the set list."
"What? You can't do that! That'll muck everything up. We already scrapped 'Tall Drink' for you, the others stay."
"Felix," I said threateningly, looking him right in the eyes.
"What's the problem, Moscovitz? She's moved on, you've moved on, everyone's moved on. So just play the damn songs and get over it."
I stared at his back as he walked away from me. He's right, but it still angers me. He could have at least warned me that she'd be here. Is that too much to ask?
I took a few more minutes to calm down, then I got the guys together and we walked back on stage.
When it came to playing 'Creep' I didn't dare look in Mia's direction. I either looked in the complete opposite direction or I closed my eyes.
And when we played the jazzed up version of 'Here Today, Gone Tomorrow' I had my eyes closed the entire time. At the end an involuntary tear rolled down my cheek, I just couldn't hold it back. But I doubt anyone saw it. At least I hope not.
It's a good thing no one knows about the significance of 'Here Today', especially Holly. But of course Mia knows. And when I opened my eyes as I was playing the last few chords, I saw Lars walking out of the side door, obviously following Mia.
- - -
The baby is due in just over two months and I have no job yet! I have no way of supporting it once it's born. I'm already a failure of a father and I'm not even a father yet.
I may not have completely graduated yet, but I need to go out and find a job now. I don't think I can hold out much longer before Holly's parents come back to spread their riches. All in the name of the baby, of course.
By the end of this week I will have a full time, high paying job waiting for me when I graduate.
Or...I'll have a full time, paying job that I have to start now so they don't pass me over.
Either way it'll be peace of mind for me. And if they let me start now, just part time, then that's even better.
Money now, yes please.
But for now, I have another book club meeting to get to.
I didn't walk in late this time, but since most of the seats were already taken, I sat in the same one as last week.
Mia walked in just after me and out of the corner of my eye I could see her hesitate as to where to sit. After what seemed like a lifetime, she sat next to me, but didn't address me and didn't look at me.
I made the first move, sensing that that was what she expected. "So did you read the book yet?" I asked quietly, so no one else would know she hadn't read it yet.
"Uh huh. Finally."
"Good."
Silence.
Silence with Holly is heaven .Silence with Mia is painful. But I dare not make the first move again; the ball is in her court this time.
"So, um, I saw you guys on Saturday night. You were good. Unfortunately I had to leave early, something came up. But what I saw was good."
"Thanks. So why did you have to leave? Nothing bad happened, right?"
Does this make me a bad person?
"Oh, um... I just had to get home..." she mumbled something under her breath, all I heard was, "... Rocky..."
"What about Rocky? Is he ok?"
"Yeah. Everything is fine now," she said, and I could tell she regretted lying in the first place.
That was the last we spoke all lesson. When it came time to discuss the proposed essay questions, Mia turned to the person on her left and I to the person on my right.
The discussion wasn't the same as last week though; last week was fun. Maybe it's because I never woke up with me arms around Ashley, feeling as happy as if I were in heaven.
Ok, that's a weird train of thought, because Ashley's a guy.
After class ended I made a point of trying to talk to her. I don't want to hassle her and I don't want to overstep her 'no-friends' boundary, but I want to talk at least be able to discuss books in the club with her.
"Mia!" I called out.
She turned around to face me, her blonde hair flying across her face from the cold wind, and suddenly I didn't know what to say.
"Yes?" she asked, rather formally I thought.
"Um... How are you?"
"Fine." She turned to leave but I stopped her.
"No, wait. Are you really? I mean, with Felix and Hayley; with your grandmother coming; with Saturday night... I saw you leave..."
She flushed slightly. "I told you. Something came up and I had to go..." I could tell even she didn't believe her charade would pull off.
"Look, Mia, I just want to know that you're ok. With everything."
She met my gaze evenly; her eyes boring into mine. She stayed silent for a minute, but then she said, "And what if I said I wasn't, Michael? What would you do? Would you attempt to comfort me, tell me everything is going to be ok? Or would you run back to the safety of your pregnant fiancé?"
I didn't answer her and she continued. "You can't help me anymore, Michael. It doesn't work that way. So don't ask me how I am, just accept that I'm fine and leave it at that. I'll see you at the next Book Club meeting."
With that, she turned and walked away, leaving me standing there taking it all in.
She's totally right, of course. What would I have said if she'd broken down and started crying? I know what I would have wanted to do, but I don't think that would have been right.
Lars raised his eyebrows at me and nodded, before following her into her dorm building.
I turned and left, running back to my pregnant fiancé, I suppose.
