I don't NEED sugar highs to be random! But I do need them to turn out long chapters like that in less than an hour... hence the longness of time between updates.
I'm sorry, anyone who read or reviewed before I added in the reviewer responses. I was rushing and completely forgot about it. Today I saw the Pacifier, and then Constantine (by movie-hopping of course), and then came home to watch an episode of Trigun with my dad. Oh yes, my back is sore.
Warning: A very OOC Itachi… sorry, he just came off that way.
Naruto woke to a room that did not in any way resemble his own. First and foremost, it was clean. And the bed did not smell bad. And there was a distinct lack of that little walrus cap or whatever it is that Naruto always wears when he sleeps.
Gazing around the white-washed walls, Naruto tried to recall what had happened before he had come to this strange place. There was Sakura hitting him again for no reason... Sasuke and his freaky (and yet so awesome) older brother coming to hide in his apartment... fangirls breaking in... Sasuke suffocating in a dogpile of said fangirls... him rushing in... and then darkness.
The obvious conclusion: Naruto was dead. He had died from a lack of air. He had failed Sasuke. And most of all, he had never really enjoyed the springtime of his life to its fullest extent. How incredibly sad.
"N-Naruto-k-kun..." whispered a voice. "A-are you alright?"
'Oh great, now an angel.' Thought Naruto. 'Better than hell I guess.'
"N-Naruto-kun? Can you hear me?"
A sudden pain blossomed on his cheek. When you're dead you're not supposed to feel pain! This wasn't right. He snapped his eyes to the right to notice some people that he had somehow overlooked before.
"S-Sakura-san... that wasn't nice..." said Hinata, blushing horribly and looking away as Naruto looked confusedly at her.
"You deserved it Naruto-baka! I'm only here because Sasuke-kun needed some time to be alone... He went through a really traumatizing experience! He nearly died! Poor Sasuke-kun!" moaned the evil pink-haired one.
"Eh...?" said Naruto, mouth hanging open slightly. As he remembered it, Sakura had been the leader of the fangirls that had nearly snipped off the source of all Sasuke's power, his hair. But that did not appear to be the case. ...Or was it?
"Anyways, now that you're awake and back to your stupid self, I'm going to see if Sasuke-kun is ready to accept my cuddling." Sakura whisked out of the room, leaving Hinata to stare at the floor and twiddle her thumbs nervously.
"So... Hinata-chan... why are you here?" said Naruto curiously. "And where exactly is here? And how did I get here?"
"Uhmm..." said Hinata, blushing a hot crimson. "I..."
Naruto just kept the same adorable expression on his face.
"I..." Hinata could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. She turned around and blurted out, "I-I wanted to see if you were ok, you're in the hospital and Gai-sensei brought you in yesterday!" before she ran away out of the room.
Naruto stared at the door for a few seconds before deciding that Hinata must have really needed to go to the bathroom and pulling himself out of bed and starting for the door himself.
"Ah, Sasuke-baka's here too? Guess I'd better check on that bastard..."
...Over there with Sasuke...
The first time Sakura had come over to check on Sasuke, he had thought he was experiencing a nightmare. He had woken up to find a heavy body draped over him, smothering him... trying to kill him! As one would expect, he immediately struggled with all his might and threw the body away from him. It slammed into the opposite wall. Hard, I might add.
When Sasuke peeked open his eyes to see whom the adversary had been, he had not expected it to be Sakura. Not that he was sorry or anything. That girl was really annoying. But it was still a surprise that his own teammate would be attempting to throttle him in his sleep. Just wasn't right, you know?
"S-Sasuke-kun?" said the still form of Sakura. "Sasuke-kun!" it shrieked and rose from its deathly position. Sasuke froze, eyes wide with horror, mouth hanging open.
Sakura threw herself at Sasuke again, this time managing to get her clammy hands around his throat. And then, horror of horrors, she hugged him. That just wasn't done. You can't do that. It deserved punishment.
"Chidor-" he started, but then the door came flying open and Ino stormed inside. Upon seeing Sakura embracing Sasuke, she shrieked with envy and tore the pink-haired one off of Sasuke.
"Sakura-forehead!"
"Ino-pig!"
Their eyes sparked in a way much reminiscent of Sasuke and Naruto before they kissed. However, I would not bestow the repulsion of kissing Sakura on anyone, not even Ino. So, in other words, they didn't kiss.
Instead, Kakashi chose that exact moment to walk in. On seeing the two girls almost start a catfight, he sighed, clapped his hands together once to gain their attention, and jabbed his thumb at the door.
"Awww..." they said together and walked dejectedly out the doorway to have a 'talk'. Once outside, Kakashi put his hands on his heads and glared severely at the two girls.
"Sasuke has been through a very traumatizing experience. Right now, he needs to recuperate. I will inform you when he is ready to see you two." The two girls sighed, nodded, and marched off.
"Ah, wait, Sakura?" The pink-haired one turned and looked questioningly at her sensei. "You should check on Naruto as well. Support the team, right?"
Sakura rolled her eyes, but she couldn't disobey her teacher, so she went to find Naruto.
Which brings us to this time period. Kakashi had come back in and critically observed his student for a few seconds. "If you're still worried about your experience, try and get some more sleep. You and Naruto are both confined to the hospital until further notice. If you feel well enough, you can go visit him. He tried very hard to save you, you know."
Sasuke looked at his hands and shrugged. "Whatever."
"Well, bye then." Kakashi poofed out.
Sasuke lay back down on his pillow and attempted to get some sleep. However, he shot up again just a millisecond later when another poof entered the room.
"...Otouto?" said Itachi, glancing around the room. "Where's your friend?"
"Itachi! I'll kill you!" snarled Sasuke as he jumped out of bed and started the Chidori. (seriously, you guys know the drill. Do I really have to write it out? Ah whatever, I will for kicks.) Itachi stared at the mass of blue chakra crackling in Sasuke's hand before licking one of his own fingers and snuffing the Chidori out like a candle.
Sasuke sat down on the bed with a thump, staring at his trembling hand in utter astonishment. Itachi smirked and sat on the bed too. "You know, Sasuke, it's time we had a little brotherly chat."
Sasuke turned, very slowly, to look at Itachi's smirking face. 'This can't be good...'
"So how have you been since I left, Sasuke? You've done pretty well in the academy and progressed as a ninja..." Itachi paused and ran his hand through his own hair. "Of course, you didn't do even half as well as me..." he finished, smirking at his little brother's enraged expression.
Seeing as how Sasuke didn't really look like he was going to speak, Itachi continued. "It's been, what, five years or so? Since we've had a good chat, I mean. It's a little depressing really. We're brothers and we never talk, just fight. Don't you agree, Sasuke?"
Sasuke glared. "I hate you." He stated plainly.
"Now, that isn't nice, Sasuke. Here I am, trying to be nice and you have to ruin it all by being like that. This is why we haven't been getting along." Said Itachi looking out of the corner of his eye to see the reaction of his little brother. He was so fun to mess with.
"We haven't been getting along because you killed everyone." Sasuke's voice was icy cold.
"That's not true. I left you and me alive, didn't I? I'm such a good brother, and look how you've treated me."
"You only left me alive to keep the fangirls off your ass, and you know it." Sasuke snarled. "They almost killed Naruto and me yesterday. I swear, you really need to take your half!"
"Ah well, Sasuke... I don't know about that. I can't have fangirls and ANBU and hunter-nins and Orochimaru and you and miscellaneous other people, shinobi and civilian alike, all trying to get me in their own ways all at once. It just becomes too confusing. Then again..." Itachi raised a finger and tapped his chin twice, thinking. "...I could just kill everyone I see... but that could cause problems with Kisame... Hmm... decisions, decisions..."
"...Get out."
Itachi turned, smirking widely. "Why, am I bothering you, Sasuke? My goodness, if I had known..." Sasuke cut him off.
"Get out!" he snarled, eyes blazing crimson.
Itachi stared coldly. "You should try and keep the Sharingan on all the time, Sasuke. That way it will progress faster. And another plus, you can look just like me!"
"Get the fuck out!" Sasuke yelled and attempted to attack his brother, who dodged easily and pulled Sasuke's arms behind his back.
"Don't use foul language, Sasuke, it's so rude!" Itachi grinned, pulling on Sasuke's arms, painfully stretching the muscles. Sasuke gritted his teeth and shut his eyes, unsuccessfully struggling against his brother's iron grip.
"Do you enjoy torturing me?" Sasuke practically screamed.
Itachi stopped pulling and cocked his head to one side. "I thought the answer to that would be obvious. It's quite amusing. No matter HOW much stronger I am than you are, and no matter what I say or do, you're still going to keep on trying to kill me. Fascinating human psychology, really. So irrational."
Sasuke didn't answer, so suddenly, Itachi decided he was bored and let his brother go free. "I'll be back to traumatize you again some other time, Sasuke. Until then, train hard! Oh yes, if there's anything you want to say to your Kyubi friend, I suggest you tell me now, because I'm going to be taking him with me."
"I will avenge my clan! Just you wait!" growled Sasuke.
"Alright, I'll tell Naruto that you said that. Strange, I don't know whether he will fully comprehend your statement or not. Whatever." Itachi shrugged and tapped Sasuke on the forehead once, knocking him out, before exiting via the sliding hospital door.
Humming boredly, Itachi strolled down the hallways of the hospital, quickly erasing his presence from everyone's mind who he happened to cross paths with, leaving quite a few dazed and confused nurses and doctors milling about in the hallways. Itachi considered hypnotizing them to go and traumatize his brother some more, but decided that he had done enough damage to his otouto's sanity for one day. Actually, for an entire lifetime. Or more.
"I hate you."
Itachi stopped and shook his head rapidly. No, Sasuke's words did not bother him at all. Not one bit. Nope. Nu uh. Of course not, it was unconceivable.
Itachi continued his leisurely walk down the hall.
Not at all.
With Naruto
When Naruto exited his little hospital room, he had had the intention of finding his rival to see if he was still alive. Then, he would gloat over how he saved the baka's ass and whatnot. Because it was fun. And he was bored. And that's probably what Sasuke would have done to him. Or maybe not. Anyways.
"Ramen, ramen, ramen..." Naruto chanted softly, his voice echoing down the strangely quiet and empty hallway. Each step he took sent a chill down his spine. As he progressed further, the feeling only increased. 'Why is it so fricking quiet?'
Then, all hell broke loose. But not really. That would have been fun, though. What I mean is that several different things started happening at once.
First, was that all the doors that lined the hallway burst open and revealed...
THE RETURN OF THE EVIL POSSESSED RABID FANGIRLS! (cue dramatic music)
"Yar!" they shouted in unison and charged towards poor newly-recovered Naruto. Then they all fell face flat.
"YOU'RE not Sasuke-kun!" shrieked a girl that very very strongly resembled Sakura. Ok, it was her.
"No..." said Naruto uneasily. "I'm not." He hesitated for a moment and then started walking again, quickly cutting through the crowd of speechless zombie-like creatures. "I'll tell him you wanted to see him, though." He called back.
"NO!" yelled Ino who had magically materialized in the crowd. "If he finds out, then we'll never be able to catch him off guard!" There was a general muttering throughout the crowd.
"Hey... that guy... isn't he your teammate, number one?" hissed one fangirl to Sakura.
"Yeah, that bastard is always opening his big fat mouth and yammering on about Sasuke-kun in the most un-nice ways." Stated Sakura, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at the retreating back of Naruto. "He can never keep his mouth shut about anything!"
There was a pause. "Get him! He's going to tell Sasuke-kun!" screeched someone. All the girls froze rigidly and then started running like terminators at Naruto. (You know the scary rigid hand motion thingie...no? Nevermind.)
"AAAAAAA!" yelled Naruto at the top of his lungs as he flailed his arms uselessly in the air behind him as he tried to outrun the horde of fangirl barbarians. They barreled past countless rooms at blinding speeds, sending up big clouds of dust (in a hospital?).
Naruto could feel the beginnings of his demon awakening as he pushed himself to the limit. But letting out the Kyubi here could cause unfathomable damage to the innocent people in the hospital.
Struggling against the chakra inside his stomach, he failed to notice the sudden appearance of a person in front of him.
"OOF!" said Naruto and Itachi at the same time as they crashed headlong into each other.
"AAAAAAH!" screamed Naruto, pointing at Itachi.
"EEEEEEEE!" said the fangirls as they skidded to a stop pointing at Itachi.
Itachi looked at his target, then the number of enemies, then his target again. He was seriously outnumbered. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Itachi ALMOST ran away, but then he remembered that he was supposed to be awesome and would never do something so uncool. But then he remembered that this was his LIFE we were talking about, so he should run anyway. It's not like he hasn't done it before. In fact, he even ran away from Gai and Jiraiya, the weirdest ninjas that one can find anywhere.
SO.
Itachi was ABOUT to run, but then he realized that he had thought about it too much and was now being tackled by numerous fangirls, dozens of which lay on the ground, dead or unconscious. It appears that his body had reacted to their threat automatically.
Then again, the fangirls had come PREPARED this time. They brought out their ultra-super-mega-awesome-guy-catcher. Which looked like a big butterfly net. And that's pretty much what it was.
"Now…" chuckled the fangirls, eyes flashing red. "See if you can escape!"
Author's Notes: Yup. The sucky second chapter. w00t.
MewRKW1- Thank you! Review again!
Tsugath- Wow, you really thought it was that funny? Apparently I have great writing skills when I'm not really paying attention to what I'm writing… hehe, sorry, this chapter isn't as good. I don't think so, anyways. Come again!
Dragon Man 180- Eh, I put Hinata in! Not quite in the way that you asked for, but she did make an appearance! And she's sure to show up again. Thank you and review again!
Anonymous- YES! Go Gai! I love his Dynamic Entry, it just had me going WTF and then staring at the screen in astonishment for several seconds. Thank you and come again!
Wolfe- Hope you don't mind, used your idea for Itachi keeping Sasuke alive all these years up there… I just thought it was really hilarious. Thank you and read again!
Chesiere Cat- Ah yes, that just came out of the top of my head. W00t for Gai! Thank you!
VanillaYumez- I was going to wait to kill Sakura until a bit later… no worries, she WILL die! Die Sakura! (stabstabstab)
Backspace- Ah yes, the wonders of sugar high can produce insane fanfics like this. Try it some time!
RandomUserName- Hell yeah, I would probably be right there with all of them. Ok, maybe not. I prefer my anime people alive. Your review brought a really hilarious image into my head! LOL, review again!
mrasdfghj- Well, it is apparently not going to be a one-shot, but my Akima story is probably higher on my priority list.
aardvark of death- Lol, thank you! There was your chappie, not as good as the first one though, sorry. But who knows, I might get my hands on some candy later on…
hakia seana- Yeah, one can never get enough violence. I will kill Sakura! I'm still trying to think of a hilarious way to do it. Hmm… death by refrigerator.. interesting… I am OBVIOUSLY a drooling zombie fangirl, can't you tell? If I was a Sakura one, then don't you think I would have written more romantic-type stuff (ick, btw) in Akima? Itachi is MINE! MINE! You can have Gaara and Hiei. As long as Itachi is mine, I'm happy.
