I'll update something else, probably the Detention Club, when I get back from my road trip (I'm going to Sydney for a music festival, woot!). And since this is nearing the end, they'll all be single updates for this for now on.
Disclaimer: Meg owns all but what I made up.
Mia's POV...
Honestly, the nerve of him! Asking how I am!
How does he think I am? Happy? Content? Blissful? No. I'm not. I'm polar opposite to those things.
My world has crashed down around me and I don't know how to put it back together. I'm failing my classes. Literally. Two of my professors have already told me I'll need to take Summer classes to stay on top of things. But how can I take Summer classes when I have to spend Summer in Genovia?
Speaking of Genovia, my grandmother and father are arriving soon, which is stressing me out. I just know they'll be on my back about school. Failure is not acceptable in the Renaldo family.
And not only do I have family and school issues, but my love life is in shambles.
The love of my life left me for his skinny, slutty ex-girlfriend and they're going to live happily ever after with their beautiful children, and the guy who was supposed to help me move on from said love of my life ditched me for my room mate.
And he asks me if I'm ok!
No, I think not. I think I am about as far from ok as it can get. But you know, I'm always wrong about these things; things in my life can always get worse.
Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, that's what I need to keep doing. Think positive. Don't let anyone see that you are anything other than fine.
Some people say bottling your emotions up is a bad, un-healthy thing to do. But I think I'm running out of options here.
After taking a minute to practise my slow, calming breathing exercises, I opened the door to my dorm room and put a huge grin on my face.
"Why are you so happy?" Hayley asked.
"Oh, no reason. Have you eaten yet? Do you feel like pizza?"
"Sure."
Pizza will make me calm and happy. I hope.
- - -
Staying calm and appearing happy occasionally works.
I'm still failing my classes, but I've spoken to my professors and I'm going to work around the Summer school thing, and still pass this year.
They seemed impressed that I was so clam and happy when I spoke to them about it.
So it totally works.
It even worked when I walked into Book Club this week. I was afraid Michael would be on the edge of his seat after the way I spoke to him last week, but I simply sat down and spoke to him normally, showing him that I'm fine that that whatever I said last week didn't mean that I'm not truly ok.
Because if he doesn't believe me, I don't think I can make myself believe that I'm happy. Deep down, I know I'm not.
So I made a few stupid jokes, and he laughed. It was a good idea, because who jokes around when they're not happy? No one. Except me.
"It's good to see you smiling," he said, as if it's been years since I've done it. Which it so hasn't been. I've just been making an extra special effort to put on a happy front recently.
"What is there not to smile about?" I asked, smiling again.
"That's a good attitude. I wish I could be like that." He said it with a look in his eyes that I can only register as sadness.
"Why can't you be? It doesn't take much; just positive thinking. Like Tink says, 'Think happy thoughts'."
"Tink?" Michael had a confused look on his face, but he also looked as if he wanted to burst out laughing any second. Most likely about me.
"Tinkerbell. From Peter Pan."
"Oh, Tink! I get you. Ok, happy thoughts. I can do that."
"Good. Because everyone deserves to be happy."
Too bad not everyone is though.
- - -
A few weeks later and I'm still acting as happy as a clown.
But acting happy is not as easy as it sounds. And it's physically exhausting too. I'm spent. I just want to crawl into a hole and die, never to get out again.
But happy people don't do that. And I'm a happy person. Happy people keep going and they don't give up. And when it comes to reading the new book for Book Club, they do it.
…Except when they're failing their classes and have absolutely no time to read anything extra.
I ran into Michael on the way to the library.
"Oh, thank God. Quickly, what was the book about this time?" I asked him.
"What? I didn't read it! I got a job and have been working non stop. And I'm studying for Finals AND I have a pregnant woman to take care of! You said you were going to read it this time!"
"Well I've been busy too."
"Oh crap. What are we going to do? Is this is the last book for this year? No more until next year? Not that I'll be here next year though."
"Yeah, this one goes for the last few weeks of the school year...I know! Follow me!"
I grabbed him by the arm and we ran up the stairs to the buildings rooftop.
"Thermopolis, what are we doing here?" Michael asked breathlessly once we crashed through the door.
"Hiding out."
"We're hiding out from our Book Club?"
"Uh huh. I know it sounds ridiculous, hiding because we haven't done our homework for a voluntary class, but we can't go in there without having read it."
"But why are we on the roof?"
"Well if we stay in the buildings people will think we're strange, just wandering around. And we can't go to my dorm room because Hayley has Felix over. They're supposedly studying."
"Ok, then. So long as I know that it's not because you're crazy."
"Oh, I am crazy," I told him, grinning. "But there is a logical reason to being on the roof."
We sat down against the wall while Lars stood guard at the door.
Suddenly I remembered something. "Do you remember the time Lilly wanted to protest against the cheerleaders uniforms?"
"Yes!" Michael cried. "She arranged a sit-in in protest but no one turned up except for you and Tina."
"She was so upset, but it was so funny!"
We spent half an hour reminiscing ridiculous stories from High School, until we were both laughing hysterically and couldn't control ourselves. And for a second, I was actually happy. Not faking happy, but happy.
Eventually the laughter ceased and we just looked at each other, both feeling the effects of our euphoric state.
I gulped, sensing that he was feeling the same emotions as I was.
"Think happy thoughts," I told myself. But the happy thoughts that came were not thoughts I should have been thinking.
I was just about to look away, possibly even stand up, when he took me by surprise by pulling my face towards him and kissing the life out of me.
