For Fizzie Lizzie.

And Happy Easter everyone! I hope the Easter Bunny came!


Michael's POV...

My eight month pregnant fiance just let it slip that it's not even my child.

I stared at her, my mouth open rather uncouthly. "What?" I asled calmly, more calmly than I'm actually feeling anyway.

She knew she'd stuffed up; I could see it in her eyes. They read, 'Oh, fuck.'

"WHAT?" I repeated, only much louder this time.

"Um..." She doesn't even have the decency to say anything.

"You just said that the baby isn't mine. So whose is it then, huh? Whose?"

"No, it's yours. I was only joking around." She faked a laugh, as if it'd make her plight more convincing.

"Don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes. I want the truth, Holly. Is this baby mine?"

She considered it for a minute, then she took a deep breath and said, "No."

My world crashed around me.

"Oh my God." I sat down on the other side of the couch and cradled my head in my hands. "Oh my God," I repeated over and over again under my breath.

Holly cautiously came and sat next to me, she bravely patted me on the back. "But it is yours, Michael. It doens't matter if it't not genetically yours. I want you to be the father, and I know you want that too."

"That's not how it works, Holly. Yes I want to be the father, but you lied to me. I need some time." I grabbed my keys and wallet and walked out the door.


I've been walking aimlessly around for hours. I don't even know where I am except for somewhere downtown, probably miles from my apartment.

Something in my pocket was vibrating and I heard the sound of my Buffy ringtone playing. I checked the caller ID, to make sure it wasn't Holly, but it was Lilly.

"Hello?"

"Hey, where are you? I'm in New York, actually, I'm outside your place, but you're not here."

"Um, I have no idea where I am, but I'll come back. Wait for me."

I hopped in a cab and rode it for a good while to get back to my place, I must have walked further than I first thought. When I arrived Lilly was sitting outside my door.

"There you are, hurry up and open the door."

I obliged without a word.

"Here," she handed me a folded cloth. "Mia said to give it to you."

I unfolded it; it was the baby vest I'd dropped in the library months ago. I discarded it by throwing it onto a pile of boxes, not wanting to think about it right now.

"What's up with you? You don't look so good," she said as she sat herself down on the couch.

"I don't feel it. I kinda had a fight with Holly."

"Was it bad? Whatever it is I'm sure you'll get over it. I mean, you two are having a baby together, you left Mia for her, you have to work it out."

Fuck. I never even thought of the fact that I left Mia for Holly and 'our' baby.

I sat down next to her, my eyes are stinging, like I'm going to start crying any minute.

"Um, well I'm not so sure. It, uh, seems we're not having a baby after all."

"Oh my God! What happened? How did you lose it? I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not what you think. She's still carrying it, but... but it's not my baby." I choked on the words as they came out.

Lilly stared at me, unable to say anything, which doesn't happen often for her. We sat in silence for a minute before she finally found some words. "Oh my God, Michael. Whose is it?"

"I don't know. All I know is that it's not mine."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know! If I stay with her, I still don't love her and I'll never know if I can trust her again, and I'd be raising someone elses child. But if I leave her, sure I'd be free, but I'd lose the baby. I love our baby. I was really looking forward to being a father."

"I know." Lilly put a sympathetic arm around my shoulders. "It's tough."

"Tough? Tough was deciding to stay with Holly instead of Mia. This is torture. Because now it seems like it was all for nothing."

"I think you need to talk to Holly. Whether you like it or not, your decision still affects her."

"Yeah, I know. But I just don't know if I'm ready to make this decision yet."


After lying on the couch in the dark for a few hours, I called Holly on her cell phone.

"Where are you?" I asked her.

"I'm at Sarah's. I'm so sorry, Michael. I'm so, so, sorry..."

"Shh, it's ok. Just come home, ok? We need to talk."

When she walked in the door cautiously I sat up.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi. Come sit down."

She sat and waited for me to talk first. A good call on her part.

"First of all, are you sure? I mean, you one hundred percent positive it's not mine?"

"Not biologically, no," she said. "But that doesn't matter..."

"So whose is it?" I asked, cutting her off.

She paused for a second. "John's."

"John who?"

She's looking at me like I'm dumb. Then it clicks.

"John! From my band, John?" I'm doing my best to stay calm, like I told myself I would, but it's very hard. She nodded and I continued. "How the hell did this happen? And when?" Too many crazy thoughts were running through my mind.

"Well you dumped me, and he'd always been nice to me. It was just one night."

"Oh, and that makes it all the more better does it? That it was just a one night stand? It didn't mean anything!"

"It didn't!" she cried.

"How can you be sure it's his and not mine?" I asked.

"Did you ever do the maths, Michael? Forty weeks after we broke up would make the due date earlier than it actually is. And besides...We didn't use anything."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"But I'm telling you, Michael, it doesn't matter! I want you to be the father! In my eyes you are the father!"

"Holly, Holly, no. You don't just get to choose who the father is. Does John even know?"

She shook her head. "I told him it was yours."

I looked her straight in the eyes. "You have to tell him the truth, Holly. He deserves to know."

"But I don't want to marry him! I barely know him!"

"I never said you have to marry him..."

"So you mean you still want to be with me? We can still have this child together?"

I took a deep breath and shook my head slowly. "No, I can't do that. I'm sorry but it doesn't feel right. I think you should go live with your parents for a while. Until you sort things out." I think I'd feel differently if I loved Holly. I think I could over look it all then. But I just don't; and I think it would be unfair to raise this child in a loveless marriage.

Holly started crying, and it almost broke my heart to see her like that. But then I remembered that my heart had already been broken six months ago.