January 22, 2005
Today will be a dream, I'm sure. The tour is finally coming to Wisconsin. The beautiful musical that captured my soul will be a mere thirty minute drive away. Why would anything so amazing set foot in this awful dairy farm state? Why would the fearless leader want to waste his time here? Enjolras should be off barricading the white house.
My boyfriend Tom has volunteered to take me. Tom is a nice guy, but he isn't Enjolras. He can't speak in front of a crowd, and would never jump on a table either. Jumping on tables is a "hazard to his health". According to Tom, he'd fall of the table and break his nose. The broken nose will also start to bleed and he'll lose blood, a lot of blood. Eventually, he'll die from the broken nose.
… And people wonder why I'd choose Enjolras over him.
I've concocted a plan that will make Enjolras, alias John-Andrew Clark, fall madly in love with me. First, I will show him my incredible knowledge of the government. Then, I will suggest building a barricade in Washington, DC. We will fight the United States Army and throw George Bush out of the white house. Once that is done, I'll change my name to Patria and we will live happily ever after. The plan is fool proof.
By this time next year, I will no longer be Catherine Patterson. I'll be Madame Catherine Enjolras. That will show Tom, who is convinced that Enjolras isn't real.
Later that night
Excitement is consuming me. Master of the House has finally ended. Soon, "Paris 10 Years Later" will appear on the screen. How much longer till I can see my beloved? Oh! I can't breathe any more. Asthma always gets the best of me when I see Enjy.
Later, by the stage door
I've been betrayed. Enjolras isn't the man I thought he would be. Tom is trying to comfort me, telling me that John-Andrew is just an actor. I'm convinced he really is Enjolras. Maybe Grantaire, alias Trent Blanton, has forced absinthe down his throat.
First, I went up to Enjy and asked for an autograph. I began to use my barricade plan to impress him. It went somewhat like this:
"George W. Bush must be rebelled against! He is oppressing the lower classes! We must fight for them, so they can rise above poverty. There must be an American Republic!"
My speech sounded inspirational to me. Enjy gave me a strange look.
"There is an American republic. Have you ever heard the Pledge of Allegiance? There's a line that goes like this- And to the republic. Does that ring a bell?" He said, trying to be nice.
"Alright, so there's already a republic. We must still rebel against the tyrant president!" I argued, hoping Enjy would agree with me.
"I'm a republican. I voted for Bush. He's one of my idols." There was an awkward pause.
"Stop bothering him! He might call the cops like he did last time, when you tried to push him into a closet with you. You can't get arrested! I forgot to bring the bail money," Tom hissed, pulling me away from the love of my life.
Woe. Betrayal. More woe. Even more holy freaking woe. Enjolras must hate me now. I have nothing to live for. He doesn't love me. I think I may die. DIE.
Catherine Patterson
