A matter of trust

There were no problems with the wedding because Rachel didn't go. Ross and Emily are living in New York. Rachel is finding it harder than she thought coping with the reality of them living together.

Waiting

They still weren't back. She had let herself into Ross and Emily's apartment with the key they'd lent her and she was waiting for them to come back so that she could get the videocamera back from them.

Rachel hoped that Ross and Emily would arrive back together. She didn't think she'd be able to stand it if Emily came back first because then she'd have to talk to her. Actually she didn't think she'd be able to stand it if they both came back together, because she'd see that togetherness, and even though it was months after the wedding, they still had that just married and crazy about each other aura. But if Ross came back alone, that would be the worst of all, because the way he treated her reminded her that he didn't love her - not in the way she wanted.

Emily didn't deserve that love. Rachel could find no particular point that proved this, and she'd tried hard to find one, she just knew it had to be true. No-one loved Rachel better than Ross. That was one reason why Emily wasn't good enough.

She has the wrong accent, Rachel thought. Her hair was too short. She looked around the room. Every time something changed, she hated it. Emily's fault. If it was new plates, or a table moved, it must have been done by Emily and it was obviously a change for the worse. Now Ross was looking for a new job — he was fine at the museum, there was nothing wrong with it. Why should he have the stress of looking for somewhere else to work? He wouldn't have been doing that if it wasn't for Emily — she'd probably told him that his job wasn't good enough.

She'd had to stop mentioning this kind of thing to Monica. Monica was getting sick of it.

You two tried a relationship and it didn't work out.'

We never gave it a chance,' Rachel said.

You both decided to move on,' Monica said. You gave it as much of a chance as you wanted to give it.'

I didn't realiseIt takes two to make a relationship,' Monica said. You can't hold onto someone who wants to be with someone else just because you've decided you want to try again. You've got to get out more, try dating, find someone to be interested in that's interested in you back. It couldn't be hard.' Rachel shrugged. She couldn't get interested in anyone, even though she'd certainly had the offers. Why would she want everyone else? I'm sick of hearing you bag out Emily,' Monica said, It's not nice.'

But she's making Ross do stuff he never did before, can't you see?'

Life is about trying new things,' Monica said, We can't just do the same thing. And some of those new things are his ideas, not hers.'

It seemed to her that Monica was liking Emily far too much. Everyone else seemed to be getting used to the idea of the marriage. In fact everyone else really just treated it as something normal. Because of that, she was spending less time at Central Perk.

Why should Emily have had it so easy? Whirlwind romance and wedding? Why her and not Rachel? Not that Rachel had been anxious to get married — she wasn't desperate or anything, like Emily obvious was — but it would have been nice to achieve something more than she did. Instead they'd had the rows, the jealousy over nothing, and then, Chloe. He'd just turned around and slept with someone else at the first opportunity. That was all she'd meant to him, obviously. What was so special about Emily?

Suddenly the doorbell rang. It obviously wasn't them back. Rachel went to answer the door. It was a delivery of flowers, large pink red roses. Oh great, she thought, as she accepted delivery. He's still giving for flowers for no reason. Why her? Why should she have all of this?

She knew she shouldn't have done what she did next. It was unjustifiable and nosy, a betrayal of the trust Ross and Emily had in her by letting her have a key to the apartment. For Rachel, it had really been an attempt to rub salt in her own wounds. She hadn't been trying to unearth secrets. She read the card to see what Ross had said to Emily.

Forever my Darling.

Colin.