Somewhere In Between
(by: Lifehouse)
Logan paced back and forth in his room as he ran a hand through his hair; his thoughts wandering back to the kiss he gave Marie. He couldn't get over how she tasted and how she felt in his arms. He knew that what he was doing was wrong but he couldn't stay away from her. After all she did belong to him. And he to her. So why couldn't he stop feeling bad about this? Oh, he knew. He wasn't being loyal to Sherri. He broke his vows. All of them. He had to sort out his mind. He couldn't be feeling this way. He was the Wolverine. The Wolverine didn't have a conscience. At least he didn't before he met Marie. Then things changed. He changed. And he hadn't even realized it until his feelings for her surfaced.
He walked into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face as his head began to spin from all the thoughts invading his mind. He looked up into the mirror and he looked older than usual. His guilt was taking a toll on him. He growled as he roughly grabbed a towel and wiped the dripping water off his face and then threw it onto the sink in front of him.
He stormed back into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed; draping one arm over his eyes as a sigh escaped his lips. Maybe they could run away together. Get away from everyone around them who would judge. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't break Sherri's heart. She still meant something to him. But Marie meant more. Which made him feel even worse. Having Marie mean more to him than his own wife. Yep. He was going to hell. Not that he ever really believed in that sort of thing, but if there were such a thing as hell, he had a front row seat.
Maybe he should have listened to Marie and not act on his feelings, but he was spontaneous. He did things at the spur of the moment, not caring about tomorrow or the day after. But now, now he felt a heavy weight of regret on his shoulders. Not for kissing Marie or acting on his feelings towards her, but for not telling her sooner how he felt. For not telling her before he met Sherri. But there was nothing he could do about that now. And now he was torn.
I can't be losin' sleep over this, no I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I will have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing
Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening
Logan rolled over onto his side and stared out the window at the quarter moon that illuminated his room. Maybe he should get some sleep and then maybe things would be normal again, but he knew that wouldn't happen. That was just too easy. If only he could turn back time and tell Marie how he felt. He closed his eyes as his mind once again wandered over to what he was getting himself into. This thing with Marie was now out of his hands, but yet, he still had some sense of control over it.
He still couldn't believe Marie agreed to be with him even though he was married. He didn't mean to push her, but he just needed her. He had to be with her. And he thought the best thing to do was kiss her. Right there and then. At the time he didn't care if anyone walked in her room. He just had to taste her. And the look on her face just drew him toward her even more. Her eyes had been big and brown in both fear and surprise, her red lips parted slightly and the way her chest heaved up and down with each breath she took had driven him crazy. The animal inside just wanted to take her then and there, but the man on the outside was reasonable and stuck with just the kissing.
He groaned softly as he remembered the way her lips felt on his and the moaning she made against his mouth as he thrust his tongue in her mouth. He could feel his jeans getting tighter at the memory and shook his head of the thought. He didn't need this. Not now. He was trying to sort things out, not have fantasies about her. Although that thought did appeal to him.
He quickly sat up in bed and looked around the room for nothing in particular. He had to get out of there. Out of that room and the mansion. He quickly got up and snatched his leather jacket off the top of the dresser before walking out of the room; slamming the door behind him. He needed some fresh air and quick.
This is over my head
But underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning
I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back
To the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy
He walked down to the forest; the one place he really felt at home, no thanks to the wolverine side of him. The smell of pine invaded his senses which helped him concentrate on the one thing he had tried so hard to think about. Him and Marie. And what they were doing. He knew he'd see her that night. That was a fact. He'd wait until Sherri was asleep and then sneak over to Marie's room, and hopefully things would happen more than just a kiss. He hoped it would, but at the same time, he hoped it wouldn't. Having this guilt about what he was doing to Sherri was killing him. But not being around Marie was having the same effect. Again, he was torn. Torn between Sherri and Marie.
There was no doubt that his heart belonged to Marie, but he had given his name to Sherri. He was starting to wonder which one was real and which was the dream. But the answer to that was obvious. Marie was the dream. And Sherri was real. She was the one he was with during the day, and at night, at night was when Marie would be with him. When she would be his dream.
He swallowed a lump in his throat as he sat down at the river bank. The sounds of crickets chirping and owls hooting gave a sort of peace in his heart. If only for a few moments, it was something he relished in. He needed to relax to sort out his emotions and figure this out. He had to. There wasn't much of a choice. Someone was going to get hurt in this, that was certain. He just wished it wouldn't come down to that.
Cause I'm waiting for tonight
And then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
He walked out of the woods in time to see Marie walk out of the garage and into the mansion. He saw Scott standing in the doorway of the garage with his hands on his hips as he watched Marie walk into the mansion. Logan's brow furrowed in confusion as to what they had been talking about, if anything and headed towards the mansion himself. He was going to give Marie a little visit and see what was going on. He wasn't suspicious of anything in between them, but he was suspicious of what Scott had talked to her about.
He walked up the steps and into the hall before ascending the steps to the floor Marie's room was located. He got to her door and lifted his hand to knock, but stopped when he heard the sound of crying.
Crying? Why was she crying? What the hell did one-eye say to her? He quickly looked to the stairs and back at her door with anger flashing in his eyes. He turned toward the stairs and ran down them, taking two steps at a time. He was going to get to the bottom of this. No matter what it took. He wanted to know what it was that made his Marie cry.
Would you catch me if I fall
Out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse
Down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this
"What the hell is your problem!" Logan exclaimed as he stormed into the garage.
Scott looked up from the bike he was working on with a confused expression on his face. He slowly stood up and placed the wrench he had been holding onto the seat of the bike; grabbing a grease stained rag to wipe off his hands.
"What are you talking about?" Scott asked as he walked around the bike towards Logan.
"Don't give me that crap, Cyke. You know what I'm talking about." Logan growled, attempting desperately to keep his claws behind his skin. At least for the moment.
"No. Actually I don't." Scott replied back.
"Marie. She's crying." Logan answered not realizing he called her by her name.
"Marie? Since when did you start calling Rogue by her real name, none the less notice her?" Scott asked, his interest piqued.
"Just answer the question." Logan snapped, avoiding the question.
"Alright, fine. I just had a little talk with her." Scott answered with a sigh as he tossed the rag onto his shoulder and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"And what would that be?" Logan asked.
"What do you care?" Scott smirked.
"I care because she's a friend." Logan growled getting irritated.
"Okay. Fair enough. I talked to her about you, Logan. I've seen what you're doing to her." Scott answered.
"And what am I doing to her?"
"You're tearing her apart, Logan. Ever since you've married Sherri, you've ignored her and haven't given her the time of day, and then all of a sudden you decided on having an affair with her. It's not fair to her, Logan. I suggest you end this now. Before it gets out of hand." Scott replied shocking Logan at his knowing of him and Marie.
"How..." Logan started but Scott shook his head and held up a hand.
"She broke down, Logan. She told me. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." Scott turned around and concentrated again on his bike.
Logan growled and turned to head out of the garage. He wasn't sure what to do now, he wanted to see Marie, but knowing how he made her feel tore his heart apart. "Just," Scott stopped Logan in the doorway, "think about other's feelings, besides your own, Logan."
Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening, yeah
Cause I'm waiting for tonight
And then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
