DISCLAIMER: The usual. I don't own anything. Just my thoughts.

AN: This chapter came as a result of watching the Stargate movie 3 times in 24 hours then watching 4 episodes of the show afterwards. So in other words, I was silly. I had also just written an over the top Mary Sue story for a Hogwarts Elite challenge so… you can guess.


"Zack, what are you doing? I thought I told you to stay at school because I was going to pick you up?" Zack looked up at his father, swallowing hard.

"Maybe I walked because last time you said that I was stuck at school until 5:30 because you forgot about me." Zack knew it was a risk being this bold with his father, but looking down at the broken CD on the pavement, he was devoid of rational thought.

Zack's father picked him up roughly by the elbow. "Don't be fresh with me! I should never have agreed to let you continue with that stupid band of yours-" Zack could feel his blood begin to boil.

"It's not some stupid band!" Zack's dad cut him off, pushing him towards the door of their SUV. Zack gave his fathers back a dirty look and reluctantly got in.

"That moronic man has brainwashed you into a snarky, rebellious, low life just like him."

Zack's pulse pounded in his ears, "Dewey is not a low life!" As the car pulled up to a stoplight, Zack's dad looked sideways at him.

"Have you learned nothing of what your mother and I have taught you?"

"Oh I'm sorry," Zack rolled his eyes, "I should be a snobby, I –think-I'm-better-than-everyone son of a-"

"I WILL NOT HAVE YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT!" Mr. Mooneyham roared as he pulled the car to the side of the road. He turned to Zack and pointed a threatening finger at him. "I do not like the tone you have adopted of late Zachary. If you are not careful you will find your phone removed and your guitar missing-" Zack opened his mouth to object but was cut off by his father. "And, if you have a problem with this then you will find yourself grounded for the next month. Do I make myself clear?"

Zack stared at his father with narrowed eyes. Seeing that there was no getting around it, he stubbornly faced forward and sunk into the seat. His father, triumphantly, turned the car back on and started home.

Zack saw red spots until later that night. Sitting at his desk doing his homework he felt the urge to go up to his father and punch him for saying those things about Dewey, and generally being a jackasss. But as he glanced at his guitar in the corner and thought of what Summer had told him this morning, he resisted the urge.

Damn the man, he thought, and somewhere inside of a little voice replied "Save the empire."


Zack lay on his bed looking up at his ceiling.

God, this blows he thought to himself. He rolled over on his side and stared at his guitar. It looked so inviting. He was banned from playing it until he finished his homework. Which, of course, he hadn't started.

Zack turned over onto is left side and looked at his backpack. He seriously debated starting his homework. Zack rolled back on his back and laughed to himself, yeah right.

Instead he opted to pick up the phone. His fingers sailed across the buttons dialing a familiar number. After the third ring a voice picked up.

"Hello, Helga's House of Pain. How may I service you?" the voice said in a very bad Swiss accent. Zack laughed to himself and deepened his voice.

"Oh you know how I like it baby." The voice on the other end let out a high-pitched squeal. It wasn't long until the two dropped their acts and laughed.

"Hey man, what's up?" Freddy asked, his voice still dancing with laughter.

"Putting off the end of the world." Zack replied, he rolled his eyes although he knew Freddy couldn't see him.

"Ah, didn't start that civics paper I take it?" Freddy inquired. At his end, he was sitting in front of his computer, tossing a baseball in the air. Although he too had yet to write anything, Zack didn't need to know that.

"Neither did you! I bet you 20 bucks you are sitting there tossing a ball in the air, just pretending that you did so you feel smart, which- you aren't."

Freddy huffed, "I am too smart!! And how did you know that? You could not possibly know that!" Zack smiled to himself, Freddy had set himself up for this one.

"What, that you aren't smart? I think everyone you encounter knows that."

"Ouch. It slays! It slays!"

"Damn straight bitch."

"But seriously man, how effing exciting is this whole band thing?!"

"um.."

"What?!" Freddy cried offended, "You don't think it's awesome??"

"No," Zack said skeptically. "You just said, "Effing""

"I hate you."

"Right back at you buddy."

"No seriously, if you could see the look I'm giving you right now, you would be dead. It's ice, man, pure ice."

"So that's why I just got the chills."

"Hatred is growing."

"I love you."

Freddy let out a laugh. "HA! I always knew it!!! The way you stare at me, with those eyes-"

"Ok that went from funny to creepy in .05 seconds."

"Don't deny your feelings for me. Hell, if I were a guy, I'd be in love with me too."

"Ok, if I were gay, I would not choose you. I mean, I've seen you change for gym..."

"Ouch! That was low!"

"I think that's opposite of what I was trying to imply-"

"Ok, I'm hanging up now while I still have some pride."

"Ha! Like that will ever happen."

"That made no sense!"

"Whatever! Bye!" Zack laughed. Before he could hang up Freddy had to get the last word.

"Bye my lover!" And with that Zack was met with the dial tone. Zack laughed and placed his phone on the floor. Just then his door swung open and his dad stepped in.

"What are you laughing about?" he asked sternly. Zack suppressed a smile as he thought about his fathers face if he walked in a minute earlier.

"Uh... how funny democrats are." (Did you ever doubt that his dad would be a republican?!) His dad looked satisfied with this answer and left, closing the door behind him.

Zack grabbed his backpack still smiling, thinking of ways to get back at Freddy.


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