Zack woke up the next morning unsure how he had gotten to his current position. He was lying with his back on the floor and his right leg resting lightly on the bed above him, his left leg was under him at an odd angle.

Groaning, Zack tried to move his limbs into a more comfortable position. His body screamed as his muscles tightened and refused to be tortured in such a manner. Giving up on trying to move, Zack let his arms fall above his head and sighed, defeated. He had never been a morning person, and waking up on the floor with only a vague recollection of what had transpired during his unconsciousness only furthered his annoyed state. Craning his neck to try and see his alarm clock Zack could just barely make out the red numbers reading 3:16. Letting out a whimper, he pulled his blanket off his bed and over his chest and pressed his mind to remember what he had dreamt about.

If he wasn't completely wacked, he was pretty sure the brief summery of his dream was Freddy, Billy, the cast of Stargate: Atlantis, a giant grasshopper, and an alien named Kris.


Zack was standing in a cold, plain, cement room. There was nothing else to it. In the middle of the room was a ramp that led into nothing. Nothing. It looked like it should lead to something, but there was nothing. Opposite the top of the ramp and up about 20 feet was a huge glass window. Behind the window was what looked like a control room housing many people clad in blue uniforms all who were looking down at him. Fully confused, Zack looked around trying to find a way out. As if reading his mind, one of the concrete walls opened up revealing a shimmery blue surface. The wall opposite it opened as well. Being pushed by giant, walking drumsticks was a loud-mouthed Freddy.

"ha! As if I will EVER pick one of you up again!" he shouted as they pushed his violently towards Zack. Reacting instinctively, Zack grabbed hold of Freddy's fire truck patterned shirt before he fell to the ground.

"What the hell is going on?" Zack cried as he pulled Freddy straight up. The drumsticks didn't answer only closed in on the two pre-teens, pushing them back towards the upright puddle.

"uh… Zack buddy, that blue thing is getting closer to us." Freddy mumbled nervously, keeping an eye on the drumsticks that were getting closer by the second. Zack didn't respond, though not for lack of trying. He just kept opening and closing his mouth like a messy haired fish. "Zack, did you hear what I said. Blue. Close. Bad. "

Just then the drumsticks took out very large looking tazers.

"You know what, I think I will take my chances with the blue thingy." Zack shouted before he ran through the blue water. With just a quick look at the drumsticks, Freddy jumped through after Zack.

Landing with a resounding thud, seconds after Zack landed face down in a large hall, Freddy fell on top of him. With a grunt Freddy rolled off Zack and onto his back to his left.

"How may I service you?" he groaned and lifted his hands to his eyes. Zack rolled his eyes.

"We are facing certain deaths at the hands of drumsticks and all you can do is quote yourself? Nothing even remotely original?"

"It was original at one point in time."

"I'm sorry who the hell are you?" A females voice called from somewhere above them. A loud click sounded somewhere above his left right ear. Lifting his face form the ground, Zack nearly cried as he found himself looking in the barrel of a rather menacing looking machine gun. Wielding the gun was an imposable man with ridiculously messy bed head.

"Get up." He demanded. On his other side, Zack could hear Freddy getting to his feet.

"Hey Zack, how about we stand up before we get our brains blown out?" At this another man appeared holding a small hand gun.

"Oh please," he scoffed. "You are like 10, we wouldn't seriously shoot you unless a gou'uld came out of your stomach." The two men eyed his stomach suspiciously.

"Don't look at me like that!" Freddy subconsciously covered his stomach with his arms.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm dreaming and stuff, but where are we?" Zack spoke up raising his hands in compliance. The man with the unruly hair looked up to a balcony looking over the room they were standing in. Leaning against the railing was a female with short, curly brown hair. She shared a look with bed head man before giving him a small nod.

"So?" Freddy questioned, gathering some of his cockiness back.

"You are in Atlantis." The other man spoke up.

Zack's hand raised in frustration as he looked to the ceiling, shouting up at it.

"I knew it!"

"Knew what? What are you, like prophecy boy?" The man with the smaller gun mocked him, lowering his gun.

"Yes Mckay, that is right I am prophecy boy!" Zack couldn't hold back grin as the two men looked wide-eyed at him.

"What? But… I never said my name! Did I?" he sputtered, unbelieving. "No, I definitely didn't. Did you Sheppard?" he looked Bed-head man resorted back to opening and closing his mouth.

Right at that moment the women ran down the huge staircase in the background.

"Hello…" Freddy muttered looking her up and down. Sheppard sent him an evil look, shuffling his guns from his left hand to his right. Getting the message, Freddy shut his mouth.

"They are in the building! It will only be moments before they arrive!" She cried coming to stand next to them. Before they could respond, a high pitched squeel rang out and three gigantic grasshoppers hopped out of a doorway to their left.

The three adults opened fire on the grasshoppers, but it was no use. The grasshoppers just smiled as the bullets hit their… fleshy covering an dissolved into turquoise dust.

"Nuts." Freddy cursed, snapping his fingers.

Just then a girl about their age came out from behind the grasshoppers. She was about 5'3 and had mint colored skin.

"Ok, now this is just obscene." Zack sighed. The girl perched herself on top of one of the grasshoppers. Cocking her head she looked at the group curiously.

"Kris" she said, her voice cracking slightly, causing Freddy to snicker.

"I don't know what that means." Sheppard spoke, his gun raised at her.

"It's her name." McKay rolled his eyes. A look of realization dawned on Sheppard's face.

"Oh. It's nice to meet you, now would you please get out of our city!"

"No."

"Damn. I was kinda hoping we could come to an agreement."

"Sheppard, when have you known gigantic insects to be peaceful?" McKay shot at him. Elizabeth looked thoughtful.

"Well, there was that one time with the prime minister of Malaysia…" she said receiving odd looks from all the men present (and one of the grasshoppers.)

"Look, what are we going to do? It's obvious gun power won't do any good." Zack interrupted, hoping to wake up anytime. Anytime…

"Oo! Once, on the Sci-Fi channel, I saw a movie where these people were attacked by a bunch of killer grasshoppers and so they put on the sprinklers and then poured baking soda all over them and they dissolved and made this AWESOME sounds!" Freddy jumped up and down excited. The group looked at him as though he were mad.

"Well, this is Atlantis, we discovered recently that is has a sprinkler system. All Sheppard would have to do is to activate it. Now, the baking soda that is another story… wait, why am I going along with this? This makes no sense what-so-ever!" McKay rambled on. Sheppard rolled his eyes and the women, Elizabeth, tried not to smile.

"This is your dream kid, you make this happen." Sheppard nudged Zack who's eyes were glazing over.

"Right." Zack closed his eyes tightly and thought messy, grasshopper death thoughts. He knew something was working when he was pelted with cold water and the smell of Baking Soda filled his nose. He opened his eyes and saw the grasshopper and Kris the grasshopper girl melting.

Before she had completely dissolved she raised a green finger to them.

"I'll get you my pretties! And your little dogs too!"


Zack snapped out of his early-morning day dream.

"I knew I shouldn't have watched Stargate before I went to bed."


Uh... I fully apologize for that piece of insanity. But I love Stargate and wanted to incorporate it and had absolutelt no idea where to go with plot. I think I have an idea now, and I swear, all the crazyness will stop now.

Still, R/R even if you hated it- tell me!