A fight was a terrible thing.
When one had to do away with the spoken word and raised their fist in order to resolve a conflict, nothing positive could become of it. A duel, on the other hand, was something that could be received easier by any of the parties involved. A duel was a pact of honor that one sealed with blood but that didn't change the fact that it was a fight.
Pen-pen narrowed his eyes as he looked as his opponent. Shinji stared back at the warm-water penguin wondering why it looked so mad.
Even if his enemy didn't know it, this was a duel to the penguin and his prize, the fresh fish that made his mouth… well beak water sat waiting for him in the refrigerator.
Pen-pen pressed the button on the controller with his wing and issued the challenge that Shinji accepted quicker than the bird thought he would.
The penguin that stood on the side of Shinji was not stupid. He saw those who have fallen before the boy in battle, his owner one of them, and he was determined to best him and earn his prize.
As the cursor went over the character display, Pen-pen was full of confidence. If the girl could beat the boy then he certainly could.
The match started and Shinji looked at the bird to see what he was doing.
Pen-pen somehow managed to press the direction pad and his character slowly moved forward little by little. When he was in range, the penguin pressed a button and watched the man on the television quickly lift his leg and kick Shinji's character… who blocked.
Alarmed, Pen-pen quickly, well as fast as he could press the button, forced his character to retreat to the side of the screen. A frontal attack wouldn't work, he needed another plan.
The light bulb in his head flicked on as an idea came to mind. Pen-pen almost wanted to laugh as he started to set his plan in motion. He would just move backwards and let the time run out.
What he didn't expect was that Shinji would actually attack him. The woman hauled the sword that was twice her size over her shoulder and slashed the man drawing a sound out of his mouth that certainly didn't sound like anything happy.
Pen-pen was running out of ideas. Shinji was far better than he thought.
"Shinji," Misato yelled from her bedroom, "I'm hungry!"
"I guess I can make her some of that instant ramen she has…" Shinji thought out loud as he started to rise.
Pen-pen's beak dropped open. Shinji was running away from the duel.
That meant that he won by default! The fish was his! Shinji was nothing. With this defeat, he could probably beat the-
The bird's thoughts of victory were broken up by the sound of his character being hit. Pen-pen turned to find Shinji standing with controller in hand.
"Sorry Pen-pen, I have to make this quick." Shinji said as his character started to flash. Before the penguin knew it, his character was sprawled on the ground and knocked out.
"Wark…" Pen-pen hung his head in defeat.
"We can play later sometimes… Don't look so sad about it." Shinji said as he walked towards the kitchen.
The boy did not understand. He was not playing a game but he was right in the fact that he shouldn't be sad. He fought bravely and took his defeat like a real bird.
The sound of a plate dropping on the floor made the penguin jump slightly. Pen-pen turned around and had to shield his eyes from the magnificent sight of the fish that he just got finished fighting for.
For a moment, he considered pushing it away…
"You don't want it?" Shinji asked as he blinked, "I thought you looked a bit hungry."
The penguin let out a 'Wark' and picked the fish up. It was no shame in taking his prize despite his defeat.
It wasn't any shame in taking the fish not because he was hungry, but because he would win someday.
Lately
Asuka Langely Sohryu was a very brash person and she took pride in the fact that she didn't have to pussyfoot around sensitive subjects like most of her classmates. If she had something on her mind she would say it and, if she felt someone was doing her wrong, she would correct them.
It was as simple as that.
Even if that was true, there were exceptions to almost every statement and every rule.
Asuka leaned on the railing as she looked at the sky. She never really admired the view from the roof of the school before and, since it was her first time up here, she took a good look at the cloudless sky.
Even if the day was indeed beautiful, even more beautiful because she was apart of the reason a lot of people were able to see it, it had nothing to do with the subject she was currently talking about.
"It's good he decided to take a day off for once." Hikari said as she sat with her back against the railing.
Asuka didn't have any problem with talking about Shinji but it was a question that was nagging at her that she just couldn't ask the boy himself. It was a question that bothered her to the point where she had to ask.
"Hey Hikari," Asuka turned around and eyed the girl who looked up from her lunch, "Have… Have you kissed Shinji before?"
It was a good thing she wasn't eating because she probably would have chocked, "Huh?" She asked with a confused look on her face almost certain that she didn't just hear Asuka ask her if she kissed Shinji before.
"I wanted to know if you kissed Shinji."
Hikari set her lunch aside for the moment, "I figured you didn't just come up here to spend some quality time with me." She smiled as she filtered though her memories of being with Shinji and only one instance came to mind.
It was during the time when they returned to school. Before lunch ended, she was taking Shinji down the hall and, before she knew what happened, she was close to him.
The freckled girl raised her hand to her lips as she remembered that her lips actually did brush across Shinji's and she probably would have kissed him if they weren't interrupted.
It wouldn't have been that big a deal to her, but she didn't know how Shinji would have been affected if she actually kissed him back then. If she did kiss him then… she wondered if she would have broken things off with Touji way sooner than she did.
Again, Hikari reviewed the scene in her mind before she issued her answer, "No…"
She watched Asuka relax when she finally answered her question.
Hikari was fairly good at reading the men in her life but, when it came to girls, she wasn't certain in her ability at reading people at all. She honestly couldn't tell how Asuka felt about Shinji.
One moment, she seemed to hate being around him and, the next, they both seemed to be in a sort of harmony with each other.
Yes… Harmony was the right word Hikari decided as she thought about how Asuka interacted with Shinji. Sometimes, even if she wasn't around to see it, the roommates just connected with each other in a way that didn't fit either of them but at the same time did.
It was almost like a compromise. It was like they traded traits with each other when they were in each other's company and that only added to the list of things they already had in common.
Hikari sighed. Asking Asuka about her relationship with Shinji wouldn't at all be as easy as it was with Rei. Not because of how she acted, but because she was actually scared that the answer might be one she didn't want to hear.
Shinji was close to her and the thought of Asuka taking him away didn't come to her favor at all.
"You like him?"
Asuka, to her credit, didn't even tense up, "Yea… I like him." She admitted openly.
It was tough coming to the realization that she actually did like her roommate and did want to be closer to him. All her life, Asuka was never one to stand in someone's shadow but she honestly didn't mind Shinji protecting her in the least bit.
She didn't even know what sparked her interest in Shinji. Maybe it was when she realized that he was hurt because he protected her from the acid. Maybe it was when she heard that Kaji was taking Misato out later today. Maybe it was the way Wondergirl looked at him.
Asuka was confused. Every time she tried to sort out her feelings she only ended up with a pool of mixed thoughts and feelings that didn't make the situation any better than it was before.
She was sure of one thing though.
Shinji was important to her.
"I'm… glad." Hikari finally said as she returned to her lunch.
She was glad but at the same time, she wasn't. With that admission, Asuka voiced to the world how she felt and, at the same time, batted Hikari down. Asuka probably didn't even mean to do it intentionally but by forming a relationship with him, she was cutting his ties to Hikari.
Thankfully, Hikari wasn't as dense as Shinji when it came to matters of the heart. She realized that Rei and Asuka was slowly, but surely, pulling Shinji away from her.
'Yea… I'm glad they care but I still want to be with him.' She thought as she sat her bento aside, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore.
"Can you tell me some more things about him?"
The soft tone she used caused Hikari to look at the girl behind her. She still looked the same but it was something different about her. The pilot looked back at her patiently waiting for her reply.
"Sure." She answered, wondering how she was going to tell Asuka some things she didn't know about the boy she lived with.
"Shinji tries too hard to please people and, because of that, he is pushes himself a lot. He… doesn't have a lot of self-confidence so he apologizes even when he's not at fault and…" Hikari trailed off as she realized she could go on and on.
This was something she didn't want to share with anyone else. She didn't want to describe his shortcomings in detail to the girl who was probably going to be with him.
It didn't matter though. She didn't have to view Asuka or Rei as a rival for Shinji.
Before she was about to get up to leave Asuka shot out another question, overlooking the fact that Hikari didn't entirely answer the last one, "What's something you didn't talk to him about?"
Hikari smoothed the wrinkles out of her school uniform as she stood up, "His mother… I happened to bring up my mother's cooking one day, I saw his expression, and I never brought up the topic again." She quickly said remembering to this day how sad he looked.
Asuka set her eyes on a cloud, "Think he will talk to me about her?"
The pilot knew she was sensitive about her own mother and didn't even want to remember the things that happened but she didn't have any idea how Shinji felt about his mother even if he obviously disowned by his father.
Looking over her shoulder, she saw a serious Hikari for the first time. The girl's facial features were as soft as they usually were but her single brown eye was lacking any amusement.
The red-haired girl turned back around, she didn't intend to but it was obvious she offended the girl by asking the question. The thing about it was that she didn't care if she insulted her.
Her apathy was to the point where she didn't give a damn if the girl walked off without answering her question. As Asuka watched the cloud slowly sail across the horizon, Hikari's feelings were the last thing on her mind.
Even if she didn't care about Hikari that didn't mean she didn't care about her relationship with her roommate. If she was with him it meant she couldn't be with him so she would deter her if she felt she had to and that was what she was planning on doing before she took the step up here.
One thing she didn't know how to take the first step to was her confession. Asuka might have been frank with anything other than telling the person she thought she hated how she actually felt about him.
"I was laughing about him telling me how he felt but now…" She trailed off knowing that she couldn't tell him yet. She had to wait till she an acceptable way of showing her affection came and then let it become known to not just Shinji but everyone.
"I'm gonna tell him... later..." She promised herself.
-
The bow slid across the strings and the soft sound of the D string flowed over the room. Carefully positioning his fingers to play the notes, Shinji recalled the notes that were on the sheet music he memorized and played a song for the first time since he was over his Uncle's house.
Shinji drew his arm back and forth as he played the sad song to perfection. Every note was played and the solemn mood of the song was known as the pilot adjusted himself so that he was sitting straight.
The penguin that watched him probably would have been moved to tears had he not already been silently crying. Pen-pen suffered defeat after painful defeat to Shinji and wouldn't dare to even try him, even in another form of compition, again.
Shinji's concentration was slightly broken and it could be seen as a flat G was played when he noticed that his feathered friend was still crying. Nevertheless, he kept playing. Making a mental note that the ending was coming up, he put more pressure on the bow and drew out the loudest sound he could. He smiled as he gradually lifted pressure off the bow causing the sound to become softer and softer as the song ended.
The sound of clapping behind him almost caused him to fall out of his seat.
"That was pretty good." Asuka said as her clapping came to a stop.
"T-Thanks," Shinji quickly replied, "I didn't even know you were here."
Asuka wouldn't say it but she intended to get in without him seeing her. She didn't want to speak or even see him before she sorted her feelings about him out, but, when she saw him playing, she couldn't help but stop and at least give him the praise he was due.
The boy set his cello and bow aside as he got up, "Misato and Kaji left not to long ago. Since they were going out to eat, I was thinking it would be alright if I made dinner early."
She sighed. He had to remind her of that…
Asuka was certain of her feelings for the sly man that always had something to say to the ladies but now she was even starting to doubt if she actually liked him like that. Kaji was extremely likeable but it wasn't his charm or wit that drew Asuka to him.
'Maybe…' The redhead thought as she leaned against the door frame, 'Maybe I liked him since I knew I didn't have a chance.'
As quickly as that thought entered her mind, she dismissed it and forgot it as Shinji brushed passed her to get to the kitchen. Even if it was like that, that didn't mean it was the same with her roommate.
"Wait." Asuka ordered.
The moment the command left her mouth, Shinji froze, "What?"
Her sharp blue eyes looked him down, "I got a personal question."
Shinji started to blush and quickly started to explain, "S-See what had h-happened…" He stuttered, the incident that occured when washing the clothes started to come to mind.
He cringed when Asuka raised her fist and took a step forward. Not even getting a chance to blink, his roommate's palm collided with the wall on the side of his head. She didn't need to speak for Shinji to know she was completely serious about what she had to ask.
"Shinji… I-"
The phone rung and interrupted her. Shinji motioned to answer it but Asuka was already blocking him off as she stepped towards the ringing device.
She picked up the receiver and answered with an annoyed 'Hello'.
Just as quickly as she picked it up, she was about to hang it up until Shinji looked over her shoulder, "Who is it?"
Asuka bit her lip as she thought about the best course of action to take and it didn't take long as she handed him the phone. She watched his expression as he found out that the caller was, of course, Hikari.
Complete shock registered on his face as he greeted her and heard the news that the girl made short to her.
Hikari was leaving Tokyo-3.
Asuka was the last person who gave a damn but her roommate obviously didn't share the same sentiments. The receiver slid out of his hand and dangled off the hook as the boy made his way to the door, "I'll make dinner when I get back…and I'll answer the question you had."
Before she even got a chance to say anything, the door shut behind him.
-
They were standing outside her house. Well to be exact, the jock was standing and nervously walking from side to side while Hikari sat on the steps. Even if she felt better about having him see her off, she didn't like him trying to stop her from leaving.
"Hikari listen to me!" Touji yelled, "I ain't changed, I'm still da same person I always was!"
He didn't understand what she was talking about in the least. Every since she told him at school that she was leaving tonight, he has been with Hikari trying to plead his case but he wasn't getting far at all.
As a matter of fact, he didn't care if she was changing him. Hell, she could change him into a clown but it still didn't mean she had to leave.
"So you would be Kensuke's boyfriend if he got hurt?" Hikari asked, her brown eye filled with insight. When Touji worked his mouth, but ended up just shaking his head, Hikari smiled, "Thought so."
"Alright…" The jock whispered in defeat, "Can ya at least explain to me why before you go?"
"I'm… hurting you by staying here and hurting you hurts me too."
Touji stood directly in front of her, "I'm not hurt!"
Hikari pulled her knees up to her chest, "Then why can't you look me in the eye?"
In light of the scar that symbolized how petty he truly was, the boy cowered away. That single scar not only represented his failure as a man but also as a friend and, worst of all, he knew he was at fault.
If he and Kensuke didn't go to the roof to see the Angel then Hikari never would have been involved. Of course he was angry at Shinji, but in time he came to realized that he was just doing what he had to do.
Touji looked away as he backed up, "I'm sorry…"
"That's what I'm talking about." Hikari said, "I know how it is…"
"Hikari!" A figure yelled as they emerged out of the darkness of the night. Finally falling under the streetlight, Shinji made his presence known as he doubled over and started to pant.
His classmates stared at him as he recovered enough to speak, "Don't… Don't go."
Not wanting to see another fail in what he had already tried, Touji started to walk away. Shinji eyed him warily as he neared him but, much to Hikari's relief, nothing happened except for a mutter of words.
"Good luck…" Touji said as he walked off into the night with his hands in his pockets.
The pilot looked over his shoulder at the boy he thought hated him, "Thanks…"
Little did either of the boys know that the hate they thought they shared with each other never existed in the first place. Shinji didn't at all blame Touji for being mad at him since he fully understood that someone would be angry when the people close to them get injured and Touji didn't hate the pilot at all.
Touji was simply upset that his sister and his friend were hurt but at the root of his anger was envy. He wanted to be able to protect his friends and family and knowing that Shinji could do it by just jumping in some robot didn't make him feel good at all. He simply found that hate was a word strong enough to convey all of those feelings at the same time.
The tragedy was the fact that they possibly could have been the best of friends had they solved their differences.
Shinji, however, did not have that in mind as he looked at the boxes beside Hikari that were filled with the stuff she was bringing with her. It was then that he realized that in his rush to get here that he didn't actually think of a way to stop her from leaving.
"Hello Shinji."
The casual way in which she spoke made it sound like she was greeting him at a mall instead of saying it before her ride came. The pilot stood straight up as the fatigue finally left him, "Hikari…"
She stood up, "You didn't have to come. I know you're-"
"I… I love you Hikari."
He said it and she heard him.
Like a breeze, the statement was sudden but still soft and comforting. It was not said with ease Hikari noticed by his hesitation but that didn't change the fact that it was said.
Interestingly enough, the one that faltered was not the Hikari. Shinji almost had to rub his eyes to believe the sight in front of him.
It was a smile.
Not to be mistaken with her usual smile, it was a brilliant one that lit his soul. It was one that was on par with the smile Rei gave him after he opened her entry plug.
Hikari stood with her head slightly tilted and a happy smile like no other graced her face. In the middle of the night, Shinji thought he was going to melt in presence of something so grand but, what made him feel even better was the fact that he finally said it.
It took a lot of courage. By no means was it a greater feat than defeating Angels, but it ranked up there.
"I know."
She knew it all along. He didn't have to voice it.
"I don't want you to leave…" Shinji said as he moved closer to her.
Hikari sighed, "I already told Touji. I'm leaving."
She wished the conversation could have stayed light hearted and could have ended with a simple goodbye because she didn't want to point out to him why she had to.
"What do I have to do to make you stay?" He asked.
"What if I said nothing?" Hikari almost corrected herself seeing that it sounded harsh but that was exactly what she wanted to say. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but she had to make it clear that she was leaving.
"What…" He looked down at his feet, "What if I said I'll do anything?"
"Like what?" Hikari asked amused despite the situation.
His expression got brighter, "Anything!"
The amusement in the girl was replaced with the importance of what she had in mind, "Can you answer a question for me?"
Shinji nodded. He was willing to do anything to make her stay. She didn't know how important she really was. If she left then he wouldn't be able to even pilot knowing that the person he failed the most left the place he was doing his best to protect.
"Shinji, do you remember your first kiss?"
Not quite being one to deal with matters of that nature, Shinji almost instantly blushed not at all expecting the question that he was asked, "Well… yea."
"It was when we were at school… and we got interrupted."
Hikari blinked, "That wasn't a kiss."
Confused, Shinji scratched his head, "It wasn't…?"
"Come here Shinji." His classmate said as she pushed open the door.
Following her like she instructed, Shinji walked into her house and was surprised when she closed the door behind him. The click of the lock surprised him even more than the slamming of the door, "Hikari?"
"I don't know what I was thinking," She admitted, "I… It's not fair."
With concern governing his actions, Shinji moved to approach her, "What's wrong Hikari?
She didn't want to do it but she had to confront these feelings.
Everyone had secrets they stored away in the back of their minds. It was those things that couldn't be forgotten but still couldn't be brought out in fear of what would happen and it was one of those things that stood before the scarred girl.
Of course she loved Shinji but being with him wassomething completely different. How could she compare to Asuka or Rei?
Asuka lived with him and was so lively and sure of how she felt. Rei was quietly serious about her friendship and was so mature. Both of the girls were pilots and both of them had qualities that stood out that made all kinds of people like them.
What did she have? If it wasn't for the fact that she got hurt then Shinji wouldn't even trouble himself with her and Touji would have kept overlooking her.
Mari was the holder of Touji's attention and she knew that every since the incident and probably before given how important his sister was to him. Shinji seemed to have everything going right for him for once. He actually laughed when he was with Asuka and he could casually talk with Rei. Classmates that originally disliked his quiet personality came to not mind it as much as they once did and the people that blamed him for things were beginning to understand.
Everyone around her was walking forward while she silently stood watching their backs. She was the only person who was stuck in the same place and couldn't help her situation.
Yea, she knew fully well she changed Touji and Shinji but in that she realized that she changed as well. No longer was she the pig-tailed giggly schoolgirl that had a crush on one of her friends. She was a confused girl who was pulling those closest to her down.
Hikari locked the door not to signal that he had no escape but in order to make sure she didn't run away. She was going to stand here and tell him how she felt right now. She was going to confide in him for once and didn't care what happened afterwards.
Her hand slid off the door knob, "Have I ever told you I was sorry?"
"For what?" He asked still half way confused, "You… You never did anything to me."
She sniffed but her back was facing him. Uncertain to rather she was crying or not, he hoped she wasn't merely because he couldn't even picture the girl before him crying. Hikari was his definition of self-confidence. She was sure of everything she did and acted knowing what she had in mind would succeed.
When she turned around, the image of her crying was made more real in his mind as the tears streaked down her face, "You're important to me but all I do is drag you out and-"
"N-No! You… I mean," Shinji adverted his eyes, "I don't want to make you cry."
She rubbed at her eye, "I'm sorry Shinji."
"Hikari… You don't have to say sorry to me."
Like glass, she was so fragile and that fact proved true as she fell into his arms. Carefully placing his arms around her to support her weight against him, Shinji was about to think she passed out until she started to speak.
"I'm sorry for all of-"
"Please," He kindly started and interrupted her again, "Don't say it…"
With that, they fell into a peaceful silence besides the occasional sniff from the girl against his chest. Shinji leaned on the wall and Hikari looked up at him. Easily shuffling out of his arms, she raised her mouth closer to his and he offered no resistance this time.
Before the kiss was initiated, she whispered a question.
"Can you… tell me about your mother?"
She missed her taxi.
-Fin
Author's Story:
Chibi looks over his shoulder at his sister, "Excuse me miss, did I just write this?"
"The fuck? Don't ask me stupid stuff!"
Chibi catches the righteous beatdown.
Author's Notes:
Wow, every thing is going right for Shinji. o.o
Eleven Angels down, Touji doesn't really want to kill him, and Hikari is loving on him? Life is wonderful! Atlast, my friends… isn't this the point where everything starts to go wrong?
With thoughts of the end of this going on Nightshift, let's move to the next chapter!
Chibi Fenrir
