A/N: Hey, thanks again for your reviews. It feeds my hunger starved muse. Hehee. Anyway, sorry it took so long. I had difficulties finding the perfect song, and then I had to babysit, not complaining there, I love my nephew and now my dad is in town. He's a trucker. So, busy busy busy. But here is the long awaited chapter. Sorry if it's short. I think my muse is going on strike. Ah, yeah, I think I see a sign. Can't read what it says though. Just proves the creativity that my muse is sorely lacking. I should be careful what I say or it'll quite on me all together. Okay, enough of my babbling. Here ya go, and enjoy! Thanks again! I love ya, all!

Somtimes Goodbye

(by: Terri Clark)

Rogue sat alone in a booth in an old run down cafe, staring at the cup of coffee that was set in front of her. She watched the little swirls in the liquid as she rubbed her index finger around the rim of the glass. She sighed as she rested her hand down on the paper placed next to her coffee. She had bought the thing, wanting to find out what was happening in the world she was now in, but hadn't gotten up the will to read it. She watched the waitress, Sandra by the nametag, walk by for what seemed like the hundredth time with the same distant look in her eyes. She was there physically, but mentally she was somewhere else. She looked how Rogue felt. She picked up her spoon and began stirring the contents of the coffee, though she hadn't dumped anything in it. She just enjoyed watching the small whirlpool it caused. Her mind kept wandering back to the mansion and the man she had left behind. She had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. One was telling her to run and the other was telling her to turn back. She wasn't sure which one was saying what, but it was driving her insane.

She knew she couldn't turn back. She had to do this no matter how difficult it was. She loved Logan and it was difficult not to run back into his arms and wish for everything to be alright, but she had to search for herself, and getting away from the mansion and him was the only way to do that. Her heart ached from what she was doing but she kept repeating to herself that she had to be strong. She just had to be. Besides, she had gotten this far and she couldn't turn back now. It had been a couple days since she left and she barely stopped driving. Usually only to sleep and occasionally eat. She knew she wasn't eating enough and she could hear the Logan in her head scolding her on it. She knew he was no longer in there, but sometimes, just sometimes, her imagination brought him back. Mainly during the times she was really down in the dumps. Which happened often in her life now.

I've got an ice cold cup of coffee

And a paper I haven't read

A canyon in my heart

And a hammer in my head

And a waitress with an empty stare

It looks right through me

I'm sittin' at this table

And I'm balancing the salt

Weighin' out my choices

Baby it's nobody's fault

And I'm torn up by these voices

Talking to me

Rogue knew if she hadn't left she'd lose her sanity. Hell, she thought that maybe she already had. At least a little bit of it. How could someone not, after what she had done. She'd left a world behind that had welcomed her with open arms, no questions asked, and two men who loved her. She had to have been insane to do something like that. She just had to be. But that place was probably the cause of her losing her sanity. That's why she had to leave. She needed to get it back. It was out there somewhere and she had to find it. Yes, her and Logan were good together. Two peas in a pod as it were. But, as with everything, there was a flaw. A catch if you will. And that had been Sherri. So, the only option left was for one of them to leave, and Rogue knew it had to be her. There was no questions asked. Not a single doubt in her mind. She had surprised herself at how strong she was when she decided this. Everything was backwards. She was strong and Logan was weak. She had to be in the twilight zone. That was the only logical explanation she could find for it.

She still had the image fresh in her mind when she ended it with Logan. The painful look on his face and the tears running like waterfalls down his face. It pained her to see him like that, for it was the first time she ever witnessed him cry. Sure, he cried when Jean died, but he held back and she saw it. But this time, he just released it all. Maybe in hopes of making her guilty and take back what she had said. She almost had, too. But she kept her ground, her backbone, and her decision. Her mind was made up. She wondered what Logan was doing at that moment and had to fight back the tears that yearned to fall. Damn it, she was finished with crying. She wasn't going to do it anymore. She'd had enough of it already. She needed to stay strong, for her soul. She needed the strength desperetaly.

You said there's no good reason

For me to walk away

You say there's so much good between us

Who wouldn't wanna stay

But how can I be with you

If deep down I believe

I'll lose a part of me

She didn't leave souley on the situation with Logan. It was her excuse, yes. But it wasn't her true reason. She had planned for some time on leaving because she knew there was life beyond the mansion. And her hope for Logan being with her was the only reason she stayed. Hoped he would come to his senses and realize his love for her. But that was before Sherri. When all was right with the world. Their world. She missed the moments they shared together. Watching hockey in his room with chips and beer or playing pool, although she wasn't that great at it. He had offered to teach her, but she refused for some dumb reason she couldn't even remember. She figured it was because she didn't think she could handle having him that close to her without jumping him and having her way with him right there on the pool table. Yeah, that had to be it. A smirk formed on her face at the thought.

"Well, you look a little happier." Sandra said as she passed her.

"Oh, just dwelling on old memories." Rogue replied with a forced smile.

"Ah, those. Lost love?" Sandra asked, returning the smile.

"Yeah. Lost for good." Rogue whispered as she looked back at her coffee.

"Don't give up hope, honey. You'll find him. Sooner or later." Sandra reassured and Rogue gave her another smile while nodding her head.

"Yeah, maybe." And at that, Sandra smiled one more time at Rogue before assisting her other customers.

Sometimes goodbye is the only open door

I can't turn back when I know there's something more

I gotta find what my heart beats for

Rogue pulled out a piece of paper she had folded neatly in the pocket of her jacket. She held it in her hands, scanning the white sheet before slowly unfolding it. It was a letter she had written Logan, but never got up enough courage to give it to him. She wrote it the night before she left and then soon after cried herself to sleep. Unfolding the piece of paper slowly, as if it would crumble if she wasn't careful, she began to read:

My Dearest Logan,

I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you in person, it's just I know you would have found some way in making me stay, and I can't have that. I am also sorry for all of the pain I caused you. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, but I have to do this. I know you understand. Or, at least I hope you do. I just need you to know that I still love you. I probably always will, but I need my life sorted out, and in order to do that, I can't have you in it. I know, it's harsh, but it's also the truth. I'm not that great in heart-to-heart talks, I probably got that from you. I don't know. Maybe that's why I'm running. I may have a hint of your personality still in me. I'm just taking your advice. The one you gave me on the train so many years ago. I'm following my instincts and they're telling me to leave. To find myself. Believe me, Logan, when I say this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. And, before I end this letter, I want to thank you. You have touched my life in so many ways, and I believe you've changed it for the better. I don't know what I would have done, hadn't I met you. If you're worried, don't be. I'll be fine. I'm strong. And that credit goes to you. I'm no longer the weak, frightened girl you found in your trailer. I'm a strong, confident woman. Thank you, Logan. For everything. I love you, with all my heart.

Love,

Marie

I've got a half a page of reasons

And a napkin full of tears

From trying to pull my spirit

Through the pocket of my fears

As the lunch crowd empties out into the city

And there may not be

A way for me to make you understand

I'll write down the words I'm feeling

And I'll leave it in your hands

But the memories of our love

I'm taking with me

Rogue sniffed back the tears once she was finished reading the letter. She wished now that she had given it to him, but it was too late. She also knew she could mail it, but she wasn't sure she could. It just wouldn't be the same. God, was she making a mistake in leaving? No. No, she wasn't. She was doing the right thing. She just had to convince herself of that. Over and over and over again. Sometimes she wished she could just forget everything. Wished she could wake up in the woods, maybe not naked, with no memories of her past; like Logan. Start off fresh. Crisp. Ripe. Well, maybe not ripe. She just wanted an easy way to let go of him. Skip over the heart wrenching feeling in her heart and the tears fighting to break free of her mental barrier. It would make this a whole lot easier.

As she got out of the booth, she placed a few dollar bills down on the table as the tip for the waitress before going up to the counter to pay for her untouched coffee. She paid her due and headed for the door when a wave of nausea hit her. Steadying her dizzy state by placing a hand on a chair and resting her hand to her forehead, she fought back the urge to throw up all over the carpeted floor. With a quick turn she covered her mouth and ran as fast as she could to the restroom, in hopes she'd make it in time.

You say there's no good reason

For me to walk away

You say we're meant to be together
I'm making a mistake

But this emptiness inside me

Has brought me to this road

And I have to let you go

After flushing the toilet, Rogue stepped out of the stall with the back of her right hand to her mouth, still feeling slightly nauseous. She walked over to the sinks and looked in the mirror. The sight of her reflection was a hideous one. Her eyes were red from watering while she threw up her stomach lining, her face was pale, and her hair was a mess. She scowled at her reflection as she turned on the cold water faucet. Running her hands under the water, she bent over it and splashed the cool liquid on her face. With a sigh of relief, she did it again before shutting off the water. She wiped the dripping water off her face with a brown paper towel and looked once more at her reflection. She still looked horrible, but at least she didn't look like she had a deadly virus. God, where had that come from. She felt fine ten minutes ago and then it just smacked right into her. She must've been coming down with something. After all, no one said this place was sanitary. But then again, the only time she touched the coffee was to play with it with her spoon. Rogue shrugged her shoulders and waved the thought from her head as she left the restroom. Not giving it a second thought.

Somtimes goodbye is the only open door

I can't turn back when I know there's something more

I gotta find what my heart beats for