REASONS (by Raven Minamino a.k.a. Kuroya) ((Written: 1/29/05 Published: 4/15/05))
I really don't believe in right and wrong anymore... You see, all the "right" things are done for the wrong reasons, and all the "wrong" things are done for the right reasons.
So, then, am I right or am I wrong? Can anyone really know for sure? Even I don't remember what I was trying to accomplish.
And I just don't see... What's left for me here. I don't understand it, any of it; so I can't even pretend that I do.
I understand that maybe I'm wrong... I understand that much, at least. But that means it's possible that I could be right, too...
I never was very good at playing the hero... So this time, I didn't try.
Don't you see? I'm all out of reasons now. I have nothing left. I'm more broken than all of Weyard, more tired than this mountain below and above me... So, so tired.
In trying to gain all that my heart desired, I lost everything. And now... I have nothing left.
Where is my retribution? I want some kind of compensation, damn it all... Compensation for my suffering, for my pain, for this tired ache that runs through my body, for everything that went so terribly wrong, for everything that I couldn't fix.
This time, I don't want to be alone... But I guess I don't have a choice. I've spent all my choices already.
I have no reasons. I never did. I have no logic, I have no compassion, I have no fear or life or love.
I have nothing but these images in my mind: soft white snow, wrapping me inside its frozen embrace, sheltering me... A flash of blue and silver, a flash of red, a flash of pain, and it's all gone, slipped through my fingers, not ever coming back.
I don't want this... I don't want it, I don't, not at all, no, it's wrong and I'm wrong and there was a mistake, somewhere, somehow...
Take me away from here... God, Satan, anyone. I'll take anyone... Just don't leave me here alone, it's cold and I'm frozen and I think I'm going insane and I can't feel anything at all...
I'm all out of reasons, don't you see?
I'm all out of time.
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