Authoress here and here….and here…and here!
I have the intention to write this entirely off the top of my head with no real idea where it will go. I'm not even sure how to begin!
LadyKatsu, (daughter dear-HAH!) when have I ever been "charmingly mature?" When and if I ever reach that stage, please notify the press so that the world can be shocked.
Okay…starting out on a journey here…. Not too sure where my fingers will take us…Hah ha, I already have butt-lock!
Anyways…
Three-Way Tie
Chapter 11: Unbeliever
Gravitation
"Well, Miss Tsumaru, I must say you've done a splendid job!" Mizuki declared, flipping through the manuscript, noting with approval the many blots, scratch-outs, and scribbles in Aoyou's bright green pen.
"He really is a wonderful writer," Aoyou said, a wistful look crossing her face far too quickly to be recognized.
"I'll say." Mizuki nodded in agreement to Aoyou's assertion. "You forget what a grouch he is when you read what he manages to write. I don't even think it's hard for him to capture the complex feelings he writes about."
"I don't think it's that effortless." Aoyou said carefully. "Otherwise, he wouldn't be so good."
"You may have a point." Mizuki said. She stood up from her desk abruptly, setting the manuscript down. Digging in a file cabinet, she drew out another, thinner stack of paper. "If you could have this read through and edited by Tuesday, that'd be great."
Aoyou accepted it, and flipped it open. Instead of the Japanese she had been expecting to see, she noticed it was in English. "What's this?"
"Yuki's first translated novel." Mizuki gave her a small, tight smile. "I had the guys down in Translating on the second floor take a shot at it, but they're notorious for slacking off. I'd like you to do the rest, along with correcting this bit. It'll take a bit longer with only one person at the job, but I expect a higher quality from you."
Aoyou bowed formally, gripping the thin stack of sheets gratefully. "Thank you, Miss Mizuki."
"Thank you," the woman returned. "Without you, I doubt we'd be able to get this project done."
Aoyou bowed again and then exited to her small office across the hallway, reading the first line of the novel expectantly.
"'Was strange a sun morning when Hilary did walk across beaches,' " Aoyou read aloud, frowning. "I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean!"
She gathered up her briefcase, slipping the thin manuscript inside. She'd do her editing at the kitchen table at home, where she could sip on a nice mint tea in a robe and slippers.
"See you tomorrow!" Mizuki saw Aoyou leaving and called after her.
"Will do!" Aoyou waved happily before stepping onto the elevator.
As the doors closed and the floor seemed to descend below her feet, Aoyou heaved a pleasant sigh. Working at her dream job under a nice manager was wonderful. And editing for someone with as much prestige as Eiri Yuki was exciting as well.
At the thought of Yuki, Aoyou felt her spirits dampen. She, Shuichi, and Yuki had been avoiding one another for the last couple days, ever since the awkward visit from Alex. Their embrace had been too passionate to dismiss as playful or meaningless. She had slipped up, and let her emotions take control.
But they kissed me back.
The thought was ever in her mind, one that dragged and teased relentlessly on her conscience. They were as much at fault as she was for the slip of sanity, that fatal breach of formality.
I'm in love with two men who happen to be gay with one another.
The thought brought her nothing bust a dreadful sense of despair.
Shuichi Shindou
Aoyou left again this morning before Yuki or I woke up. She left some waffles warming in the oven and a note saying she wanted to get in early. I haven't seen her for more than ten minutes in three days.
Yuki says it's my fault.
"You're the one who kept on kissing the little bitch." He says it so offhandedly, but it makes me blush just to think about it. First of all, I was kissing Aoyou of all people! Secondly, I couldn't help but think Yuki might be feeling that I'm falling out of love with him or something absurd like that.
But I was certain that the love I have always had for Yuki is still just as strong. I still get a warm, soft feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I see him. I can hardly keep my hands off of him when he's in the same room as I am. There's no doubt in my mind of my love for him.
But now Aoyou's here. She inspires a different kind of feeling- a safe, spinning out of control contradiction.
I've always tried to be honest with myself about my feelings. Or at least I thought so before I met Yuki. Then I started doubting everything my heart was saying, and I put up so many defenses so I could regain the feeling of control. But I never did; I fell in love instead.
Drawing on that experience, I knew the web of denials I had been building were the first real evidence I had. Ever since that stubborn, easy-to-anger spitfire fainted upon seeing me for the first time, I knew she was going to change my life.
At the time, I wasn't sure if it where for good or ill. My first thought was that Aoyou would reveal me and Yuki to the public.
After awhile though, I knew better. Aoyou may loose all sight of logic when she's wildly angry, but I trusted her when she said she wouldn't tell.
I didn't see her as a woman. In a way, I'm still not sure I do. Even now, sitting in K's battered "secrecy transport car," I see her as a being with incredible reserves of emotion at her fingertips. She could soften the world with a touch of the gentle compassion locked beneath her breast, but she could stir such winds of terrible retribution when she was angry.
"K," I ventured. The blonde American man looked back at me from the passenger seat of the car.
"What?"
"How do you describe the feeling of love?"
K studied me, a sort of amused look in his eyes. "You have issues with your love life again?"
"What!" I blushed a little, embarrassed of how he could read me like a book. "No, I'm…uh…thinking up song lyric ideas."
I knew I wasn't a good liar. K knew too, but by the look on his face I knew he wouldn't pursue the reasoning behind my questioning any further.
"Well, kid," K scratched his chin pensively, rubbing the stubble he hadn't shaved off. "You sure know how to ask a tough question. Let's see….I think…"
I waited patiently. I really had no clue about what K felt; he was always swinging a gun around and doing something dangerous. I always failed to see past that and into his mind.
"Love," K said finally, "is being afraid of what's going to happen, but wanting it to happen anyways."
"That's cool." I lapsed into silence. I wasn't sure that K really knew how to describe his grasp on love; his definition was confusing.
I applied it to Aoyou and Yuki. I couldn't say I was afraid of what would happen, except maybe Yuki getting tired of our relationship and turning to Aoyou exclusively for a good female fix. Or, maybe I was afraid of what would happen if I told Yuki about my confusing feelings. What would his reaction be? I already tarnished his views and personal gauge of right and wrong by continuing our relationship; what if I told him I felt I had room in my heart for Aoyou as well as him?
I sighed a little. I was certain I didn't want Aoyou and Yuki to run off together. But I was intrigued by my second fear. What if Yuki felt likewise?
He had kissed her too.
He had wrapped his arms around the both of us.
Maybe he felt the same way.
Leaning forewords a little, I studied the back of K's blonde head. Maybe he was on to something with his strange definition of love; perhaps he wasn't just in the right direction. Maybe he was right on.
Eiri Yuki
The house has been unnaturally quiet. Usually I would love the peace and quiet, but the forced avoidance was unnerving. My house, my haven, was filled with tension strong enough to crack through walls.
"Damnit." I sighed. Resting my head on the palms of my hands, I stared blankly at the screen of my laptop. The curser blinked relentlessly, mocking the lack of words dotting the page.
I half considered getting a rum Coke to help my muse along, but I abandoned the decision as my fingers found the keys.
"Sunou faced Shuro and Yahio, pain and desire reflected in her deep orbs.
"Can you blame me for the way I feel?" She sobbed. "Can you blame me for what I cannot control? I love you both, as if my heart was born in two pieces, one for each of you!"
Yahio's soft heart had melted a long time ago, and he felt himself becoming aroused at the mere sight of her puissant gaze, so rich and full of delectable feeling. He glanced over at his roommate, a question haunting his eyes.
Shuro had not yet moved from his position on the floor where he had been sitting when Sunou entered the room. His long legs were splayed apart, and Yahio could feel the passion rising between them in an indicator of Shuro's feelings.
Sunou, despairing in her cause, turned away, hands coming to her face to brush her tears away before they could rain down her cheeks in her open declaration of sorrow.
She heard them shift, and the floorboards creaked under someone's weight. She felt a hand at her shoulder, then another on her hair. With a gasp, she felt the hands slide down to undo the first button of her cream blouse.
"Yahio…" She breathed, and she turned. He garnered easier access to the buttons, easing the next one out as well.
Sunou faltered again as more hands pressed at her, now wrapping around her thighs. Looking over her shoulder, she saw that Shuro had crawled forewords to be able to touch her.
In a flash of fiery passion, he pulled at her knees, causing them to fold. He caught her as she fell, and Yahio hungrily dropped to his knees to follow her. Shuro held her in his arms, then reached over to pull Yahio into his embrace.
"I love you both," Shuro breathed. "I love you both, Aoyou and Shuichi."
I stopped typing abruptly, staring at the screen. Aoyou and Shuichi! Why had I written that!
Slamming my fist into the tabletop beside the computer, I sat there, glaring at the words on the computer screen. That wasn't how I felt; it couldn't be. I was already gay, and I didn't wantto add to my dishonor by adding another person to the relationship! Besides, Shuichi was a handful as he was. And Aoyou was difficult enough without my sleeping with her!
A threesome! I shook my head. No, I had never intended the novel to wind up in such a manner. But apparently my subconscious inspiration said otherwise.
A threesome…me, Shuichi, and Aoyou.
No.
Never.
I'm screwed up enough as it is.
No.
With a stubborn finality, I highlighted the latest section of my work, staring at it a final time. Then, I pressed Delete.
It was gone. The page was blank.
A threesome…
No.
Never.
It couldn't happen. I wouldn't admit it. By even thinking about it, I betrayed the secret side of myself I lock away. By admitting I wanted such a thing, I would be admitting I needed something.
End Chapter
Authoress here.
(wild hand-gestures) ANY QUESTIONS!
Never mind. It's an Eibs-ism.
Hopefully I'll get my next chapter up SOON! No promises however…a stupid school project is due in a painfully short amount of time…
