Full marks to "Violent". Yes, this is a variation on "Each in the Cell of Himself". I wanted to turn the idea in my mind and see what came up. There is yet another variation on this theme in the works. Another experiment. If it is not a total disaster, I shall post it here as well. I enjoy playing with the same plots and characters and seeing how certain changes can influence outcomes and contrariwise, how stubborn some outcomes can be. It is good practice for writing all sorts of things.

I did much the same thing with two full length novels which are posted in Live Journal.

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Part Two

To Baralai, his old friend looked taller and leaner with his limp more pronounced and his face paler and more drawn. Lines which had been mere light sketches in the past had become deeply engraved in the ashen skin. The long hair had been cropped to waist length and was gathered into a mane-like mass at the nape of his neck. The machina limbs no longer gleamed with newness, being dulled by a multitude of scratches and scuffs. But the expression in the eyes and the twist of the mouth were all too familiar and the priest felt an uncontrollable frisson raise the flesh on his arms.

"Nooj! I thought you weren't due back 'til tomorrow." He exclaimed.

"Obviously," The dark man answered with a meaningful look at the clasped hands resting on Paine's upper thigh.

The woman casually moved away from the touch and stood, adjusting her clothing. "You said you would be back in the morning."

"I changed my mind." Nooj caught her forearm in his machina hand and, with a smooth tug, pulled her to him. He bent to her and kissed her hard on the mouth, forcing her lips apart in a deliberate display of possession. Paine resisted briefly then yielded to his embrace. They remained thus long enough to create a sense of discomfort in Baralai.

The priest pushed himself up from the lounge chair and retied his cincture. "I'll just be off to bed, then. We can talk in the morning."

"No, stay." Nooj summoned a servant with a gesture and directed the placement of another chair. "Tell me to what emergency we owe this sudden visit."

Baralai could not yet face the imperious face of the Meyvn and muttered quickly, "I was just thinking about something and decided to see if you were interested. You never answer my messages ..." He broke off hearing the nasally whining buzz in his voice.

Nooj ruffled his hand through the short pewter hair of the woman at his side, idly caressing the delicate bones of her skull. "So you came to catch me before I could avoid you again? Praetor, I have not been insulting you; I have only been trying to save time for us both. After all that has passed between us, I felt there was nothing more we had to offer one another. Nothing has changed, has it? You are still with Gippal, are you not?"

"Yes," the priest struggled to recover his confidence. Now he sounded truculent and defensive. "That's why I'm here. We thought ..."

"No." the Meyvn stated unequivocally, "I am not interested in a menage a trois or a menage a quartre and I doubt Paine is. We have our own arrangement, as she has surely explained." He looked at her with a raised brow.

"Stop it, Nooj!" The woman slapped him on the arm. "Don't play the fool. You don't do it well. Baralai has a proposal."

Nooj leaned back, lifting his left leg to lie alongside the right one on the footstool. "That was what I was declining. But if it deals with another subject, go ahead."

Baralai took a deep breath and began, "Gippal discovered a plague of mutant fiends down on the old road near where the hover crashed that time. They seem to be coming out of a narrow opening in the cliff. He and I thought the four of us might form a team again and go down to destroy them before they spread further." It was said all on a single lung's worth of air and left the man panting slightly and feeling ridiculous.

"A plague of fiends? How many make a plague? Are you sure these are fiends and it is a plague? Could it not be a local outbreak of rabies or some other endemic illness among the local fauna?" There was a tone of scornful disbelief in the response. "So you want us to join you and Gippal in a mission of extermination? As a sort of planetary pest control? Baralai, you cannot be serious."

"The mutants are dangerous; they're carrying diseases and..."

"Stop being difficult, Nooj. Listen to the man; he's not making a joke." Paine snarled, twisting away from the hand still resting on her head.

He looked at her with wry amusement, as though she were a pet snapping at his fingers, "Very well. Priest, present your proposal in full. You have my complete attention." He stretched back in his chair, propping his cane carefully against the table, folding his hands and gazing intently at the Praetor.

"There isn't much more to say. We, Gippal and I, thought it might be interesting to relive some of the better times we had when we were all together before. This is a chance to get away from the boredom of our duties and do some good for Spira at the same time. ... Well, are you interested?" Baralai demanded, having regained some of his confidence.

The woman looked at her lover and, seeing he was preserving his facade of fascinated involvement in the words of their guest, answered, "I think it sounds like fun. We've all been stuck in the same old routine for a while. I think it would do us good to get out and hack some monsters." She swung her free arm as if she held her sword. "Don't you, Nooj?"

"Let me make sure I understand this clearly," he drawled. "You want me to abandon my duties to the members of the Youth League and set off on a juvenile adventure to camp out and kill some pathetically deformed animals which may or may not be rabid or otherwise diseased? And you want to embark on this venture because you and your close companion are bored and long to relive your glory days? Oh, grow up, priest." Stark contempt colored the word. "Life is not an endless pageant for your amusement. It is not a storeroom where you can preserve your youth like a trophy in a case. We have had our turn in the sun. It is time we assumed the roles which fate has assigned us and behaved like adults, not retarded children."

"And I suppose your incessant lust after death is adult? If you want it so much, why are you still breathing? Taydrcaagan!" Baralai's fair skin flushed as scarlet as the wine in his glass. "Why are you still alive?"

Nooj glanced up mildly, "That is a fair question. I still live because I have not found a proper place to die. If I thought your geste might lead me to that spot, I would not hesitate to join you. As it is, I must continue here for a while yet until the League is strong enough to manage on its own. Then I shall set out on my own quest again, alone this time so that there will be no interference." He emptied his glass and gestured to the waiting servant for more.

"So you're not interested? Is that what you are trying to say?"

"Not trying, priest. That is what I am saying." Nooj peered over his spectacles. "You have nothing to offer me worth my taking."

"And Paine?" Baralai glared at him.

Before she could respond, Nooj broke in, "Paine is her own woman. She can do as she wills. I have responsibilities and will not shirk them; she is not so burdened. If she wishes to go play games with you and your gunsel, she is within her rights to do so." He did not even glance at her.

Paine took a deep breath, "I understand what you're doing, Baralai. It's hard to give up a life of adventure to be a bureaucrat and, face it, that's what we've all become. Instead of blithely running around the world doing what we want to do when we want to do it, we have to stay put and make sure the plumbing works. It's not fun anymore. I know that and so do we all."

She gazed deeply into her wine glass. "If I followed my inclinations, I'd be onto this in an instant. What a treat! Chopping the heads off bunny-rabbits to keep them from multiplying." There was no escaping the mockery in her tone. "But no, I don't think I will. I've done that and it was amusing. But now ..."

"You are not often so verbose." Nooj took her hand and kissed the palm gallantly. "Well, there you have it, Praetor. I am sorry you have made your journey to no purpose. However, you are welcome to try to recruit some of the League if you wish."

The white haired man did not look at his companions. He sat for a long time twisting the stem of the glass between his fingers. The silence grew steadily more heavy until the little noises of the night became almost deafening by contrast. It was not the companionable silence of old friends comfortable with one another but the awkward silence which arises among strangers who can think of nothing further to say.

"No. I won't try to seduce any of the young ones." The priest finally answered. "You're right, both of you. This is just a try to go back and relive some things I probably remember as better than they were. You don't seem to have the sort of memory I thought we shared. I think circumstances have insulated Gippal and me from reality to a certain extent. We rule from a distance in our own realms. But it's so damned boring!" He burst out in a loud voice. "I sit on a throne in Bevelle and adjudicate the arguments of a horde of tedious clerics. Gippal goes to Djose and portions out decisions to a squabbling bunch of greasy-handed mechanics. All we ever do any more is talk! We're not ready to be put on pedestals yet. We're not old!" He scrambled to his feet.

Paine laughed softly. "And you're not kids anymore. Face it, my friend, the world is changing and shifting under us"

He scowled, "You didn't use to talk this much. You acted."

"That was when I didn't know as much."

Nooj raised a hand and commanded their attention before he levered himself up it his feet and spoke. "I am pleased we have come to agreement on this." Boredom hung heavily from his words. "Reality is not the easiest thing to face. We, the four of us, have lived during a period of monsters and great deeds but that time is over now. The world is largely at peace and there is no more demand for such as we were then."

"So what do you recommend? That we sit and fossilize while we wait for death? I'm not ready to give it all up even if you are. I still have fire in my veins." The Praetor was more than slightly drunk.

Nooj smiled, a frightening smile of contempt and dismissal. "Do you now? And how do you intend to convince the universe of that? By running around, trying to relive your teen-aged years when you still had all your options open and the world was yours? Do you have any idea how ridiculous you will look and how the ones who are truly young will mock you behind your back? Don't make a fool of yourself before you have to."

"Is is better to follow your example and grow old and bitter before my time? Were you ever young, Nooj? Did you ever sense life stretching out in front of you like an endless banquet?" Forgetting courtesy, the priest struck out with a vehemence unlike his usual demeanor.

"You have learned to ask better questions as you have grown older." The other replied with a sneer. "No, I do not think I was ever young. At least not in the sense you mean. I was never inclined to dash off and save the world at a moment's notice."

"You were a Crusader and you tried out for the Crimson Squad. And you fought Vegnagun." The last statement was thrown down like a winning trump.

"I had to eat... until I could find a place and a way to die. Fighting was less boring than any of the other professions available to me. And I fought Vegnagun because I intended to die in that battle." Nooj leaned forward like a snake about to strike. "You never understood me at all. You know nothing about me, even now, after all this time."

"When did you ever bother to explain yourself?" Baralai snapped back. The two men had forgotten the woman who was curled up in her chair watching them like a spectator at a lethal match. They were as intent on one another as a pair of dogs in a pit.

Nooj snarled, "When was I ever obligated to explain anything to dullards like you and the Al Bhed? I went my way, kept you alive and asked nothing save to be left alone to find my own destiny."

"You left out the little bit about shooting us in the back. Did you forget that? We were leaving you alone when you tried to murder us." Spittle flew from the priest's mouth.

"If I had tried to murder you, you would not be sitting here drinking wine. You would be bare bones in the earth. Great gods, am I to hear that same old stale complaint every time you try to answer me? I shot you, yes, I admit it. I shot you and it would have been better had I not decided at that last instant to let you live." The scarlet glitter in the Meyvn's eyes left little room for compromise.

Paine swung her legs around and stood, interposing her body between the two men, her arms outstretched with a hand flat against each chest. "Shut up, both of you. It's no good going over this again."

Nooj drew his breath raggedly as though he had just run up a steep path. "You always were the sensible one. She's right, Baralai, this is stupid stuff."

The Praetor dropped his head in his hands and bent over from the waist. "I was out of line there and I apologize, Nooj. It's just that I am so tired ..."

"Yes, I can understand that." Nooj laid his left hand gently on the younger man's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You have had a long day, I think. And I think it did not end as you expected." He looked first at Paine and then at Baralai. "I returned just a few hours too soon."

The priest smiled a weak and somewhat sickly smile. "I won't deny I would have liked ..." He turned away from the others.

"It would be wiser not to say it. Once said, it cannot be unsaid." The Meyvn spoke softly, "I think we should part now. It is time to sleep."

Paine nodded, "Tomorrow will come soon and the sun will shine again."

"And what will become of us all? Is this all we have left to look forward to? The rising of the sun and another day?"

Nooj stood tall in the lamp light; the glow made him look suddenly younger. "There is no 'we' any more, Baralai. There was never the cohesive quartet you try to create in your memory. There were always four individuals each motivated by his own needs. We came together as those needs dictated but there was never a bonding. We were then and remain now profoundly alien to one another. Let it go, priest. Your dream is based on a faulty premise. You have your own future to deal with. I assume it includes Gippal. The two of you will create a place where you can find what happiness is to be found - if happiness exists. Paine will continue her exploration of herself. She has changed, as you see. She will change more and will become a great and powerful woman. I am as certain of that as I am of anything in this world."

"And you – Captain? What will become of you?" Baralai reached out to the man in scarlet. He did not dare complete the gesture and let his hand hang there, poised in the air. "What will you do?"

The harsh light carved the face of the Meyvn into a totemic mask. "I? I will do what I always said I would do. I will die. What else?"

Three narrow shadows stretched until they lost themselves in the darkness beyond the pavilion, outside the pool of light cast by the lamp. Three dark paths pointing in similar directions, parallel but apart. Nothing was changed; everything was changed. The night was growing colder.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Gunsel" is an interesting word. It originally defined an effeminate, homosexual male and only later (thanks to Dashiell Hammett) took on the meaning of a young hoodlum who frequently, but not always, used a gun to work his mischief. Nooj is using it in both its meanings here.

Apr 5, 20055181299