Part 5
Grissom had always known that Sara was hiding something. He had seen the way that she reacted to rape and sexual assault cases, the way she reacted to domestic violence cases, but he had never wanted to believe that she had been a victim herself. Sara's life hadn't been easy, that much was obvious in the secrets she revealed, but no one was really lucky enough to have an "easy" life. His life hadn't been easy either. His father had abandoned him and his mother when he was young, not long after his mother had lost her hearing. And that certainly hadn't made his childhood easier. He had been forced to deal with the looks from his neighbors after his father had gone and then he had been forced to deal with the looks from strangers when he and his mother went out and he had to sign for her. His life had been anything but easy. But now, when compared to the hell that Sara had lived through, his life was a walk in the park.
"There's more, Gil, so much more," Sara muttered sleepily, she pulled away from Grissom and moved to sit on the couch.
It took him a moment to follow her, still slightly entranced by all that she had told him in the last thirty-six hours. When he noticed that Sara had curled herself up on one end of the couch, he decided it would be best to sit in the chair nearest her end of the couch.
"When I told you that Mark had gone to tech school after he graduated, it wasn't exactly the truth," she began, "Mark did the last thing that anyone had expected him to do. . . he joined the Marines. My brother, who had nearly killed me more than once during my life, was trained to use a weapon. I didn't find any of this out until I went to the trial. While I sat there and looked around the room, I started noticing things that I hadn't noticed. Everyone in the room, the laywers and prosectures, the judge, they were all wearing uniforms. I had never met anyone in the military at that point, but I wasn't stupid. I read and did research and I was a smart kid, it didn't take long for me to realize what was happening. Mark was wearing a uniform, too."
Sara shuddered visibly and Grissom ached to reach out to her. He didn't. He held back and clasped his hands in his lap, feeling himself starting to sweat and shake.
"I was terrified then, the minute I realized what was going on," Sara explained, resting her head on the armrest of the couch, "I had mixed feelings about the government after the things my parents told me. My mom was sort of a hippie."
Sara laughed at herself, "I was raised to think that the law enforcement officials where the enemy, that the government would never do anything for us. Christ, and then there was Vietnam, which just made my mother crazy. Her brother, my Uncle Chris, was killed in 'Nam. My mom hated the government and everything that it stood for. So when she found out that Mark had turned on her, she flipped out some more."
Sara still had her head down on the armrest when the phone on the end table rang. She didn't move to answer it and they both sat still, waiting for the answering machine to pick up.
"You've reached 979-403-4410. No one is available at this time. Please leave a message."
"Sara, honey, it's Dad. I know that you asked me not to call this number unless it's an emergency but I think this qualifies. I don't know if you've heard the news but-"
Sara grabbed the phone before he could finish, "Dad, I'm here."
"Hi, sweetheart. How are you?" he asked, hearing the strain in Sara's voice.
Sara shrugged, shutting off the answering machine, and settling back against the couch, "Not too bad, and I know about Mark. Greenworth came to see me at the office the other day."
They carried on there conversation and Grissom left Sara alone. He moved into the kitchen, finding small tasks to take his mind off of the conversation going on in the other room. He did the dishes in the sink, drying them and putting them away. After checking to see if she was still on the phone, he moved into his bedroom to straighten up, knowing that she wouldn't be in the mood to do it for a while. He hung up her discarded work clothes and threw her dirty clothes in the hamper. He remade the bed where she'd been sleeping on top of the sheets, and sat down. His room smelled like her. Soft and sweet, a scent he had burned into his memory from the first time he'd been near enough to take it in. Her clothes every where, magazines she'd brought him, so many things in his space that were both his and hers. The idea no longer scared him.
Some time during the last few months of their relationship, he had gotten used to waking up with her by his side. He'd gotten used to finding her hair on his clothes and pillows. He'd even gotten used to the things that she left in his bathroom; her make-up, her hair dryer, even the box of tampons under the sink. None of it made him uncomfortable.
Grissom laid back on the bed, closing his eyes and sighing heavily. Things had changed. After Sara's near DUI, everything had changed. They were happy. He couldn't remember the last time he had been as happy as he was now that he and Sara were together. He loved her. And he wasn't willing to let her go.
"Sara, are you sure you're all right?" her father asked.
Sara sighed, "Dad, I as well as I'm going to be."
"How is your boss taking the news?" he asked.
Sara smiled. Her father had a way of avoiding the topic of Sara's love life. In their recent conversations, he would only refer to Grissom as her boss. Sara found it amusing that he couldn't bring himself to call him her lover or boyfriend, or friend even, he was always her boss. Not that Sara could blame him. Her father had never been too partial to the men she'd brought home, even when she was in college, he just didn't want to know. He once told her that, he didn't care how many men Sara was with in her life, until she found the man she was going to marry, he didn't want to meet any of them.
"He's very understanding and sympathetic… he's here for me when I need someone to talk to, when I need a shoulder to cry on, he's here, and that's what I really need right now," Sara told him. She paused for a moment, choosing her next words carefully, "Dad… he's the one that I think you'll want to meet."
Her father didn't respond and Sara wonder if he caught the drift of what she was trying to tell him.
"Dad?"
"Sara, are you sure?" he asked.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," Sara told him, smiling.
"I'm happy for you, honey. Take care of yourself."
"I will, Dad."
"And bring this man to see me before you get married will ya? I don't want to find out you're pregnant before I meet him."
A chill ran down Sara's spine at her father's words. Pregnant with Gil's child? The thought had never crossed her mind, not since they had decided to move forward with a relationship anyway. True, there had been the random fantasy where they were married with several children in a large house with a white picket fence, but Sara hadn't had that fantasy in a long while.
"Sara?"
Her father's voice startled her from her thoughts and Sara adjusted herself on the couch, glancing down the hallway toward the bedroom, "I'm here."
"Well, I'm going to let you go, honey. Get some rest."
"I will. Take care of yourself. I love you, Dad."
"I love you, too, Sara."
Sara hung up the phone and moved quietly down the hall, pushing the bedroom door open slightly to find Grissom still fully dressed and sound asleep in the middle of the big bed against the far wall. Sara smiled to herself. She enjoyed watching him sleep, it was really the only time he was completely relaxed and comfortable. He seemed almost child like lying the way he was.
Both feet hanging over the end of the bed, flat on the floor. His head had rolled to the right, toward the window. Arms crossed over his chest. He had been thinking when he fell asleep. She had caught him thinking in this same position many times… early in the morning when she'd stopped by after a shift that he'd had off, or in the middle of the afternoon when she'd worked a long shift and all she wanted was to curl up beside him and go to sleep. She loved finding him this way. She loved crawling onto the bed and leaning over him and kissing him awake. She loved the goofy look on his face when he finally opened his eyes to look up into hers. She loved everything about him and somehow, she knew that that would never change.
Slipping out of her sweats and T-shirt, Sara moved to the foot of the bed. She worked Gil's sweats off, leaving him in his boxers and shirt, and bent over him.
"Gil?" she whispered, her breath moving his hair slightly as she spoke.
She kissed him once, seeing if he would respond. He didn't and Sara kissed him again, a little more forcefully.
Grissom stirred, rolling his body toward her some and drawing his knees up onto the bed. Sara smiled. She laid her head on his chest then, closing her eyes.
"Gil… I love you."
She heard him take a deep breath as much as she felt it, and knew that he was waking up slowly. Sara draped an arm across his chest as he pulled her into his arms. Kissing her hair softly, he shifted them so that they lay facing each other.
"Is everything all right?" he asked, his voice tinged with the early stage of sleep.
Sara nodded, "Fine, I guess."
They lay there quietly, neither of them feeling the need to speak. Sara was exhausted, she could feel it in her bones, but lying in the comfort of Gil's arms it seemed to his harder. She nestled closer to his chest, pressing her face to the place where his heartbeat echoed and closed her eyes.
"I'm so tired," she said softly.
Grissom nodded against her hair and kissed her head again.
"Let's go to bed, sweetheart."
Sara woke up alone the next morning. Grissom wasn't beside her in bed and the ajoining bathroom door was open.
"Gil?" she called.
No answer.
Sara yawned, stretching her arms over her head. He probably got called in, Sara thought. She wasn't going to worry about it. If he'd be called in to consult, he would've left her a note on the breakfast bar like he always did. She wouldn't worry unless there was no note.
She got out of bed, finding the sweatpants she had discarded earlier. Sara headed in the direction of the kitchen, catching the scent of fresh coffee wafting around her.
The sound of voices drifting in from the kitchen startled Sara and she glanced back at the bedroom, know that her gun was lying on Gil's dresser.
"Griss?" She called stepping fully into the living room now. She breathed a sigh of relief, seeing Grissom and Brass in the small kitchen, each of them with a cup of coffee in hand.
"Jesus, Griss, when I call you, answer… you scared the hell out of me."
Brass and Grissom both looked up at her over the breakfast bar and she noticed Brass' amused glance as he dropped his eyes to the floor. Grissom just stood there, smirking at her.
"What?" Sara asked, suddenly uncomfortable under their scrutiny.
"Honey…"
He glanced somewhere below her neck and Sara glanced down. Her arms immediately folded over her chest. She had gone to sleep topless and in the process of getting out of bed and finding a note from Gil and a cup of coffee, she had forgotten her shirt.
"Oh shit," she muttered, "Well that was embarrassing."
Now Brass did laugh and Grissom couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped him. Sara blushed furiously, turning on her heel and high tailing it back to the bedroom.
"She always so disoriented when she wakes up?" Brass asked, "Or is it some kind of deal the two of you have, her walking around here half dressed.
Grissom shook his head, "Gimme a break, Jim. She's usually a little out of it first thing when she wakes up, and how was she to know you were here? It's not like I haven't seen her dressed like that more than once."
Brass laughed lightly, patting his friend on the back, "Oh, don't I know it."
The glare Grissom sent Brass made the other man raise his hands in defense, "Sorry, uncalled for."
Grissom didn't say anything as he took another drink of his coffee. The two men stood there quietly, neither of them sure how to approach the subject of the lovely Sara Sidle.
"Gil," Brass began, slightly hesitant, "I don't mean to sound negative, but, are you sure you know what you're doing here? I mean, I love Sara, she's a sweet girl and a great CSI, but I hope this isn't just some midlife crisis. I don't think that one will stick around if you break her heart again."
Grissom nodded, "I know that she won't. She told me as much when I told her that I finally knew what I wanted. And I have no intention of breaking Sara's heart, Jim. I love her."
Jim smiled, turning to catch Sara standing in the hallway, listening to their conversation. Grissom turned and followed his gaze. He blushed slightly, seeing her there, knowing she had heard the emotion in his statement. He dropped his head, staring soundlessly at the cup of coffee in his hands.
"Well-" Brass said, clearing his throat, "-I should get going. Sara, Gil."
With that, they watched him go, neither of them saying anything to the other until the door was closed and Sara had locked it firmly behind him.
"I love you, too, you know."
Grissom nodded, "I know."
"Do you really think it's ok that Jim's knows about us? I mean, it's not that I don't trust him or anything, it's just that, if he knows, the others are bound to find out and I know that-"
Grissom took two steps and closed the distance between them, his hand covering her mouth to stop her sudden tirade. Sara looked at him, her brown eyes wide.
"You once said that you over talk around me… so stop talking, Sara," he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, moving her toward the couch with him and pulling her down onto his lap, "Honey, it's fine that Jim knows, and you're right, everyone else is going to figure it out sooner or later. But they're trained investigators, Sara, they're paid to analyze people and their behavior. Hell, I'm surprised Catherine hasn't come into my office ranting and raving about it."
Sara frowned at the thought of Catherine knowing that they were intimate. It scared her a little. She liked the charade they put on at work. She enjoyed knowing that this time was theirs and only theirs. No one else knew so no one could interrupt or do anything about it. The guys didn't know, which was probably for the best because if Greg found out, the whole lab would know. It wasn't that he was a trustworthy guy, it was just that he had a tendency of getting over excited about things and he tended to ramble when he was excited.
"What are we going to do when they do found out, Griss? What are we going to do when word gets to Ecklie… when management hears about it?" Sara asked, suddenly overcome with worry.
Grissom shrugged, "Honestly? I don't know. I didn't want to think that far ahead. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Until then, I don't want that thought hanging over our heads."
Neither of them spoke. Sara huddled herself closer into his embrace and Gil's arms instinctively tightened around her.
"What'd Brass want?" Sara asked after a few minutes.
"Just checking in actually, he wanted to make sure that everything was all right between you and me," he told her, smiling a little at the thought.
Sara laughed, "I bet he got more than the answer he was expecting."
Grissom laughed with her, noticing that she was blushing again, "He definitely got a show when you walked out of the bedroom."
Sara swatted at his chest, "Hey, how was I supposed to know we had company? I wasn't expecting anyone to be here when I walked out of the room in my bra!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Grissom said, his hands raised in defense, "I should've warned you."
"That's what I thought," Sara huffed, pushing off of his lap and sitting beside him on the couch. She reached for the t/v remote on the coffee table but Grissom's hand on her arm stopped her.
"Sara, we still need to talk…"
Sara abandoned the remote and sat back on the couch, closing her eyes.
"Can't get anything past you, can I?" she deadpanned.
Grissom's hand found hers and he squeezed gently. Sara squeeze back, taking comfort in the contact between them.
"I suppose I should tell you why my mother is in jail…"
