Title: A beginners guide to life.

By: Gremlin EviL

"Hello, mother."

"Where have you been? Your father wants to see you straight away! He is in the study!"

"Yes, mother."

"Don't use that patronizing tone on me, girl!"

"Sorry, mother."

The daughter turned on her heel and made her way to her father's large study. He was already talking to a group of boys, so she hid around the door and waited, listening.

"Kai, your grandfather will be here in a few days, so I want you to perfect that left rotation trick. All right, I think that's it, off you all go. Oh, actually, wait a minute, Tala, Bryan? I want to see you both in the labs in 15. Got that? You had better, or..."

The 5 boys drooped out the door, past the girls hiding place. She drew back into the wooden beams. The boys were only a year or 2 older then her, but she had been warned to never let anyone other then the adults see her.

"Ah, there you are..." mused the girls father as she entered his room. "Come here!"

The girl obeyed his command, shuffling forward hesitatingly. She knew from past experiences that her father was quite capable of hurting her...a lot.

"Hmm...yes...I see..." The girl shifted, uncomfortable under her own father gaze.

"Go get your mother...and Ms Hiwatari," snapped her father. The girl eagerly nodded before running off. Ms Hiwitari was a good friend of hers. She was the only nice, sane human being in the whole Abbey.

The girl came back with the adults in tow. Her father smiled, nodded to the two females, and then in a sudden burst of energy, hit his daughter across the cheek. An angry pink mark formed in the shape of his hand. The girl cringed, stepping away from her furious relative.

"It's been 20 minutes, we were due in the labs 5 minutes ago! What have you been doing, you lazy, good-for-nothing, little vixen!!!!!" roared the girls father. He turned on his heel and left the study, followed closely by his wife and Ms Hiwatari, who glanced back sympathetically at the sobbing girl, who also weakly followed them.

Once they were down in the labs, the girl's father marched over to a group of tired looking scientists. They talked for a few minutes, giving the girl a chance to have a look around. Another pair of eyes met her curious stare. The boy nudged his friend, pointing to the girl. She smiled hesitatingly at the red haired boy, who grinned back.

"Tala!" snapped her father. "Come here!" The red haired boy, Tala, quickly walked over.

"Yes, Boris, sir?"

"Take off your top and put on this mask." Tala did what he was told.

"Stand here, son, and try not to panic. It may feel as though you can't breath and the tank will fill with water. But relax and the time will pass. Umm..."

Boris elbowed the kind scientist out of the way and began pressing buttons, muttering to himself as he did so. Bryan, the other boy, was next to be placed in a separate tank. The girl watched as the tanks filled with clear, purplish liquid, which fizzed and bubbled near the top. Boris turned to his daughter.

"Your turn." The girl stumbled forward, her black and purple hair swinging from side to side. The tight, suffocating mask was placed over her face and she stepped into the tank. As the liquid rose, she could hear Boris talking to his wife.

"We won't kill her...not yet. If she becomes a threat, we will have to disposes of her-"

The liquid covered the girls face, making hearing impossible. But the girl didn't need to hear any more. She began to thrash, screaming silently into the mask. Boris shook his head. The girl saw his mouth move and she watched as one of the scientists nodded and tapped on a few buttons.

The liquid changed, becoming a blood red colour. Through dropping eyelids, the girl watched Ms Hiwatari arguing fiercely with her mother and father. The world dissolved and every thing became gray as the girl slowly slipped into a dead faint.

Tala and Bryan stared, wide eyed, until their tanks were filled with the blood red liquid and they too fell asleep.

"What-where-who-why-huh?" A slow, sinister chuckle could be heard.

"Are you alright, dear?" The girl almost groaned at the sound of her mother's voice. The tank opened and the girl stepped out, casually glancing at the still filled tanks of Tala and Bryan. A mirror was placed on one wall and she walked over, wondering how bad she must look after 23 hours in a chemical alteration tank. The girl paused. How did she know that? She didn't even usually know the time when there was a clock in the room.

"Oh my fucking bastard of a God!" The girl's mother, Seika, chuckled.

"Watch your language! I wouldn't want to have to ruin your beautiful face."

"Hn." The girl stared at her reflection. Her hair was still black, but it was longer and the streaks were crimson, not purple. She had always thought that she would grow up shortish, but know it was apparent that she would be extremely tall. Her figure had been dumpy, but now she was a lot thinner. Her eyes, previously a dark, cloudy gray/green, were now a clear emerald green. She stared, taking in the high cheekbones and pointed ears.

Almost as if she could read her daughter's thoughts, Seika grabbed the girl's hand and dragged her out the door.

"Come on, it's time to get your ears pierced!"

The girl frowned, but didn't say anything. There wasn't any point.

"How old is your daughter again, Ms Balkov?" asked the man as he prepared to pierce the girl's second ear.

"Old enough. Why?"

"Oh...um..." the guy had lived in the back streets of Russia long enough to recognize a threatening tone. And if he was right, then this particular lady was Boris Balkov's wife. He shuddered. To mess with her would be like messing with a viper...and a hundred guns. "No reason."

"Good-hurry up! I am due at the orphanage in 15 minutes."

"Yes, ma'am."

The man finished his job and stood back, pleased with the result.

"How much will that be?"

The man paled. If he gave the wrong answer, he would be found a week later, face up in the snow.

"Err...42 piercings...you just pay me whatever you want, ma'am."

Seika smiled. "Sure." She reached into her handbag, and her daughter watched, amused as she drew out a handgun with a silencer. The man had his back to her and was fiddling with the hygiene fluid. He was talking fast, relived at the thought of his dangerous customers leaving.

"You were so brave, hon. Even when I did your tongue. I'm gonna remember you-"

"Which the exact reason why I'm paying you in blood money," snarled Seika as she pulled to trigger. The man gasped once before sinking slowly to the floor. Seika pulled out a wad of notes and allowed them to flutter down onto the man's body, soaking in the blood.

"That should be enough money!" The girl pulled a face. Unfortunately, her mother saw, and grabbed her by the neck.

"You got an issue, hon.?" The girl shook her head, but when Seika released her, quietly said, "It's just your pathetic excuse for humor."


"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Dacha, happy birthday to you!"

"Thanks so much, guys! This is my first ever birthday party and-"Dacha had to stop and wipe the tears from her eyes. "I know I'm only 7 and all, but God, I love you guys!"

Everyone laughed at Dacha's older then her age speech, which they all recognized from a popular Russia n soap opera. Everyone that is, except one girl, who simply rolled her eyes and flicked a strand of black and crimson hair out of her face. She sighed, looking around the gray, boring old warehouse. The only reason she was here was because Dacha was her best friend. Suddenly, her mobile rang. Guilty of the intense feeling of relief, the girl answered the phone.

"Hello."

"Come home."

"Why would I want to-"

"Now."

The girl sighed and hung up. She gave Dacha a hug and her present then left the warehouse. Nobody noticed the girl as she ran back to the Abbey, though if they had paused to examine her expression they would see that she carried the thoughts and worries of an adult.

The girl found her father sitting at his desk in his study. He looked tired.

"Your mother is currently in her bedroom. She is pregnant with a new little brother for you. Do you have any ideas for names?"

"Dominique."

"We will consider your suggestion."

"Hn." The sound of loud screaming filled the study. Boris groaned and stood up, pacing the length of the room before marching out of the room. The door slammed and the girl hung her head, worried. She had noticed the drug Boris had taken from his desk drawer. It would work as both a painkiller and as a poison. She had a sneaky suspicion that Boris didn't intend to use it as a painkiller.

"Hello? Oh, hello dear!"

The girl's head jerked up and she smiled at Ms. Hiwatari.

"Yes?"

"Umm...is your father here? Oh, no, sorry, of course he isn't, sorry!"

The girl frowned in confusion. Ms. Hiwatari was never this scatty. In fact, she was probably the only down to earth one.

"Is something wrong, Ms?"

"Well, actually, now that you mention it, it's just that it gets hard to keep away from my son. Especially after the accident with his father. Poor little Kai doesn't even know."

The girl nodded sympathetically, though she couldn't really say that she understood. She would do anything to never have to see her parents again. Of course, Boris was doing his best to achieve this.

A single scream cut through the girl's thoughts. She and Ms. Hiwatari ran out of the door into Sieka's room. They found Boris standing at the foot of the queen sized bed, a disappointed look on his face. Sieka was obviously dead, her eyes wide and staring, a line of blood trailing out of her mouth and her body hanging off the bed. The doctor was holding the pathetically small body of a boy and was sadly shaking his head.

Ms. Hiwatari gave a strangled sob and ran forward to clutch at the dead body of her friend. She turned her saddened eyes to Boris, letting out a snarl of sudden anger. Ms. Hiwatari's eyes flared and she threw herself at Boris. Her hands grabbed at his neck.

Bang!

Ms. Hiwatari fell to the ground, joining her friend in death.

The girl turned to her father, shock and confusion written all over her face. He smiled, holding up the gun.

"You have 1 minute to get the hell out of here, before you become the third female to die tonight." The girl turned and ran, passing startled looking guards who tried to grab hold of her. She dodged them, bursting into the chilly Russian evening. Several streets away, she stopped, gasping for air. Turning her face to the stars, she pulled out a photo of her family and Ms. Hiwatari's family, taken from when she and Kai had been children. Silently, she vowed never to forget the now dead faces before her. She turned and swiftly made her way out of the alley. Loud voices found their way to her.

"Where is she?"

"The bitch, she'll be here somewhere!"

"Come on, hurry up!"

The girl quickly shoved the photo into a pocket and started to run. But unfortunately, that particular pocket had a hole in it, and the precious photo fell to the ground unnoticed.


Gremlin: "You can't still be tired?!?"

Dacha: "Look, I am, so just leave me alone!"

"Not until you get up!"

"No!"

"Oh, come on!"

"Just fuck off, ok!"

"Aha, now it's my turn to say no!"

"Piss off and let me sleep!"

"But the sun's up, already, look!"

"Grr...If you want to watch the sunrise, go ahead! But leave me alone!"

"You went to bed before me!?!"

"So?"

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"What would you say if I said that it didn't matter because you're already awake, and won't be getting back to sleep?"

"Huh?"

Sigh. "Translation for idiots. I-space-W-O-N – full stop."

"Huh?"

"Sorry, forgot you can't spell...I WON!"

"Huh?"

"I give up!"

Much Later:

"Hello and welcome to the Moscow Street Bladers Competition. My name is Dacha and I'll be your referee and commentator. I'm sure you all know the rules, but for the idiots out there, here they are: 1, Everybody launches at the same time; 2, The last 8 blades still going battle it out, one on one; 3, the last 2 left then go for the title of street champion etc. etc.!!!

"I would like to take this moment to thank our proud sponsors, Katt's Cakes, who are also supplying the wonderful morning tea.

"This year, as you all know, the World Championships are taking place in Moscow! We all send a great big GOOD LUCK to the Russian team, the Demolition Boys!!

"And so, on with the battling! We have 39 competitors who have earned the right to be here and …" the sound of boo-ing and orders to get a move on erupted. "All right, all right, I'll shut up now, geez! 3...2...1...LET IT RIP!!!"

"We have never seen so much talent- oops, there goes the first blade! –Here at a street tournament- and another one! – So I'd just like to thank the organizers and the- and another 1, 2, 3...no 4 blades go flying!!! This is incredible, people!

"Here we have the owner of the first blade to go. How do you feel? A-huh...A-huh...Hmm...that's nice...ok...Well, actually...A-huh...Thanks...Umm, yeah, good luck...and that was the major loser, Jon, who was booted out first! While I was having that delightful conversation, 21, yes 21, blades bite the dust!

"Dah, dah, dah, another 1 bites the dust! Dah, dah, dah, another 1 bites the dust!

"A-ok, I will stop singing! Hee hee, but only long enough to tell you that another 3 blades are gone, baby, gone! As in, burn, baby, burn!!

"He he, sorry about that... So now we only have...wait a minute, I can work it out...umm...39 take 2 is 37...37 take 4 is 33...33 take 21 is 12...SHUT UP! Just cause I'm stupid!! Anyway, there are 12... Stop, make that...12 take 4 is..8!!! 8, stop everything! The match is over, we have our top 8!!!! Wasn't that so...so...hey? Where's every one going? This isn't in the program!!!! What's going on? No, I will not shut up! Huh, what? Oh yeah, morning tea! I knew that..."

"And Welcome back to the Moscow Street Bladers Competition! Don't ask me to spell that, 'cause I can't!

"Anyways, we have our top 8, and we will begin to battle for world domination...oops, sorry, I wasn't supposed to give away the game plan...yes, so err, as I was saying, the matches will be as follows:

"Damian Vs. Spitfire. Gremlin Vs. Alice. Ben Vs. Janna. Paul Vs. Kairi.

"Everyone ready? Yes, Ben, you're all doing your matches at the same time...so, ready? 3...2...1...LET IT RIP!

"Well, bye-bye to Alice and Paul. God that was fast! No, Spitfire, acid is not accepted! Someone stop him before he kills Damian! Ah well, too late! Looks like we have another winner...and ow...that was harsh...what is it with cheating? Yes Ben. You did win...due to that sledgehammer you just happened to be carrying...

"The finals are as follows...and YES BEN, that means you don't get a break.

Spitfire Vs. Gremlin and Kairi Vs. Ben.

"At the same time again...3-2-1-LET IT RIP!!!!

"What sort of foul tricks do you think Ben and Spitfire will come up with? I have, like the smallest imagination, so I'm not the right person to ask. A-ha, here we go, Spitfire has this great big machete and it seems like he is about to chuck it at Gremlin. Yep, there he goes! Would you believe it, she caught the knife!!!! And there goes his blade! Followed by Ben's! That's the 1 bad think about having 2 battles happening at the same time, we miss bits. And the next match is going to be Gremlin Vs. Kairi!

"Am I the only one totally wetting their pants? From the looks I'm getting, yes... So, here we go again, I really can't believe I said I'd do this job. 3...2...1...LET IT RIP!

"And their off to a flying start, with Gremlin in the lead, Gremlin in the lead, no, it's Kairi ahead, Kairi ahead, back to Gremlin in the lead, but now it's Kairi and-

"Ok, ok, just don't hurt me! Honestly... I mean, what ever gave you the idea I was being rude about horse racing commentators?"


"Yawn! This is Dacha...and it's been like, ages since these 2 started battling and for gods' sake, they're still at it! Come on ref, call it a draw!

"Huh? What? I am the ref? Wow! Umm...how to I phrase this? I've had it!!!! It's a fucking draw, 'cause I'm bored shitless!!! Will that do?"

The End!

Uh… I feel I should explain where this story is going… cause lotsa people are confuzzeled… Well, it's basically a biography story about MY character, Gremlin… which is a blading nickname, duh. Any specific questions, please review and I will answer them…

The reason this used to be so confusing was that the first time I put it up I was in a rush and didn't edit it… sorry! So now, all page breaks are time jumps… Better?