Author's Note: Blah, sorry this is so short, but, uh, better than nothing? XD;; Thanks for all the kind reviews you guys have given me so far, they've really made my day. When I have time I'll try returning the favor, but for now I'm drowning in homework liek whoa. (Yes, "liek" is spelled wrong on purpose… haha.) Except now I'm worried that since I actually received some positive reviews on this I won't be able to live up to expectations… but… eh. O.o

Chapter Three: Greatest War

Menelaus' Palace, Sparta

Fisherman: Hey, I don't know if you noticed yet, but your wife kinda left with the Trojans.
Menelaus: OMGWTFBBQ! They are so, so dead, those beeyotches.

Agamemnon's Palace, Mycenae

Menelaus: Waaah big brother that Trojan ho snuck off with my wife now I'm sad and waaah why are younger brothers such pooheads in this movie.
Agamemnon: Don't worry, little bro, I'll get your wife back for you. Not to mention take over the entire Aegean. Ooh yeah, biznatches.
Menelaus: Yay!

Agamemnon's Palace, Later

Agamemnon: I always knew that my brother's wife was a nymphomaniac, but she's proved very useful to advancing the plot. I finally have a reason to sail over the Aegean and conquer those Trojan bastards, bwahahaha!
Nestor: Yeah, except Hector kinda commands the best army EVAH. Not to mention he's been voted Trojan Heartthrob for every year running since he became legal.
Agamemnon: Yes, it is a shame that I must attack such a sexy man, but think of it this way, once I control the Trojans, I control Hector. Mmm.
Nestor: Dude, you need a wife in this movie. Like, seriously.
Agamemnon: (Smacks lips)
Nestor: Oh, by the way, we'll be needing Achilles' help.
Agamemnon: (Is jerked out of fantasy) Hubba-whaaat? He's sexy too, but we ain't gonna get any of HIS lovin', yo.
Nestor: This will be the greatest war the world has ever seen. We need the greatest naked body to showcase… and Odysseus is the only guy good-looking enough to persuade him to be that naked body.
Agamemnon: What, is MY naked body not as hott as Achilles'? Damn, I turn myself on.
Nestor: …