Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Thanks: Bevy-chan, moonlightpath, Inu-Fan-5, Dark Nemesis 7, VanillaYumez, Emily and Sane-Sammi.

Thanks again to bevy-chan who literally forced her friend to read my story, its nice to know that you like it that much!


Blackmail and Deadlines...

Chapter Seven: Traps, Sleep Talking and Tranny

Sakura woke up a little early that morning but the moment her eyes flickered open she wish she hadn't, oh god, what had happened to her room, it looked like a death scene. Her foot touched the ground. Silly Sakura. Trap number one, Ice cold water came tumbling down on her. "Oh crap crap, oh my god-er that's cold, oh-my-god Sasuke's going to d-ie, son of a bi-"

She was a bout to finish when her head banged against trap number three. Red paint poured down the beautiful bubblegum pink hair. "Ah, my hair." She stomped her right foot down, oh no bad move Sakura, Trap number three came down a net of kunai's were falling down but just at that point an exasperated Sasuke ran in. 'Did I miss it?' he thought, 'Oh god I hope I didn't'.

As he walked in, it was like slow motion he saw a vision of red dodging all the kunai's left right and centre, just like he thought. She was strong, no longer the weakling she used to be. But she did look dead funny. That night after he set up the traps he had taken a pen and decided to draw on her face a little, ok that was an under statement he drew a lot, it started as a little moustache and then evolved into the full deal, eyebrows, blush effects. Even with all the crap he thought she still look beautiful. Now she was awake and furious as hell.

Once the sound of clinking kunais had left the room, it was filled with silence. Angry silence.

"Get out." But he didn't leave, instead he laughed

"It was only a harmless prank."

"What if one of those kunais had hit me, what then?"

"But it didn't, did it?"

"Just leave." She was nearly in tears.

"I'm sorry." He said suddenly feeling the seriousness of his actions.

"So am I."


20 mins later

She had managed to get all the crap off her face and the paint wouldn't really come off her hair, she needed to buy some white spirit and for that she needed to go out.

She went out wearing a hair net, she looked in the mirror before she left, and I look like my nana she thought. She gathered up the courage to go out in her hair net and she turned the corner to the store, paranoid she felt all eyes on her, scuttling to the spirit section when she tripped on a piece of wire, tripping, she seemed to be doing a lot of that her face was red, dead embarrassed. She was about to pay when she saw paint. Lots of paint, and it was on sale. Can you possibly guess what she was thinking?

When she went home she prepared a few goods. She then left for Sasuke's house. She knocked and he opened the door, at this moment in time he repulsed her, but she would get even. She managed her biggest smile and he asked her to come in as expected. Phase one of her plan was about to begin.

She sat down on the sofa. He looked at her suspiciously, why wasn't she pissed of with him?

"Don't worry Sasuke-kun, I forgive you any way lets be friends again."

"Sure" He was still slightly suspicious but he decided to dismiss his first instincts as predicted by Sakura.

"Can I get you a drink?" It was his house but since he was staring at her so intently he had forgotten to offer her a drink.

"Water."

"Ok be right back." She said while Sasuke sat on his sofa like an idiot while Sakura went in his kitchen serving him, his own drinks.

She poured out some water for both of them and put a sleeping pill thingy in one glass.

When she came back he was still suspicious and reluctantly he held his hang out for a glass. "I want that one." he said

"Why?" bull's eye, she knew he would do this.

"I want that one." he said again.

"Ok." she held out the glass to him, and he took it and to a large gulp. He wiped his mouth and smirked.

"Why aren't you drinking you're water?"

"You...want me to drink the water?"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"Ok.../gulps down water/."

"Nani...it's not drugged?"

"No mine isn't but yours is." With that he slumped on the floor. Great phase two of the plan was on the way.


Tenten had a problem every time when she was exhausted she had a problem that she would fall into a deep sleep and start sleep talking. Now she was exhausted. Neji was watching her worried face as her eyelids kept on dropping down. One, two, her eyes would drop, three, four, her eyes would flutter back open, five, six, she was sleeping, seven, eight, her head fell on Neji's lap, nine, ten. She was sleep talking.

"Neji, I love you, you're the best sparring partner a girl could ever have." She was slurring her words.

"Uh...Tenten...wake up." Neji was saying as he tapped her cheeks with his hand. "Get off Tenten; you're head's kinda heavy."

"Neji, Will you marry me?"

"What?"

"Oh that's great Neji lets have a tea party."

"Oh, Tenten, please wake up."

"Oh lets call all our friends."

"Tenten someone's stolen you're kunai." yelled Neji.

"WA, Waaa, kunai thief, where?" She was startled. So she got up suddenly. "Neji, I was having a good dream!"

"Oh really, what was it about?"

"I...err...I was eating a kunai bar, and it felt so real"

"Really...are you sure that was you dream"

"Yes" Damn, can he read my mind even when I sleep? Oh, crap, please tell me I wasn't sleep talking.

"Liar, you fancy me."

"You wish."


Lee walked down the pavement, bruised, battered, determined. Someone will let me into the hot springs as a woman, he thought. All the other nice hot springs had harem no jutsu detectors ever since Kohanamaru and Naruto had tried the stunt. Finally he landed him self in a 'Tranny Hot spring Club' now he thought it read ' Trainee Hot springs' but he was too excited so he just ran in, his harem no jutsu seemed to be improving a lot. He had now turned into a forty year old, whose breast weren't as saggy and facial features slightly defined, his hair was now a greasy black mop with the odd greys sticking out.

He walked into the Tranny club and they accepted him, he was led to the changing rooms and was about to dismiss the whole plan, when his inner Gai sensei appeared.

"Never give up Lee, embrace the Tranny health spa."

"Eh? Tranny?"

"Yes, the youth must have new experiences."

"Hai, Gai sensei. You're right." Music played as he entered the spa. It was Tranny Karaoke night and someone had been dragged on the stage. He was being forced to sing.

"Sing." said the man in the red two piece.

"Uh whoa whoa whoa he's a lady." came the droning voice in the microphone." Yea Ow common ow." the red head muttered into the sound device.

"Hey I thought people from the sand country were meant to be born singers." cried one from the audience. People were beginning to throw tomatoes at the boy with purple make-up. Lee took a harder look but it was slightly impossible with out super eyes. He wished he could see through the mist in the spa.

"Uh Kankuro...Gaara?" Lee was surprised, gosh where was his camera?

"Sing dammit woman." yelled a wo/man who was wearing a skin tight bathing costume that left nothing to the imagination, the man was wearing an inflatable bra.

"Well he's all you'd ever want
He's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner
Well he always knows her place
He's got style, he's got grace, he's a winner.

He's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, he's a Lady
Talkin' about that little Lady, and the Lady he's mine."

"Wrong, wrong, oh so wrong."

"What we sang it right." said Gaara.

"It's she's a lady." Yelled one of the locals." Like everyone knows that."

"Yea but you're not a lady." Said Kankuro

"Why you little-"

"Come on Kankuro, we don't need to do this crap." said Gaara dragging away his brother who was asking for a fight.

"But Kakashi will-"

"Forget that loser." 'What the sand trio too?' thought Lee

"Garaa, look it's that Lee dude in harem form."

"NANI? You know were going to have to kill him now don't you?"


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Sorry if spelling n grammar is bad