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Now I was just wondering if some people could help me think of something really funny to write for this fic since I'm getting a little lost for ideas...
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Blackmail and Deadlines
Chapter Eight: Singing, Sake, Letters, Kisses, Fish Lips and Pudding Pie
Lee was trembling how is it that Kankuro knew who s/he was? 'Oh no, they look as if they are going to kill Me.' thought Lee.
"Kankuro, you get him from the front and I'll grab him from behind, gottit?"
"Right." So Kankuro was walking forward towards Lee and Gaara behind they were about to grab Lee when the karaoke guy grabbed Lee first and pulled him onto the stage, Gaara and Kankuro fell towards each other and ended up hugging.
"Eww, get off me you freak." said Gaara
"What, wa? You're not Lee. Uh where did that rat go?"
"L-look." said Gaara pointing to the stage. Sand Nins were staring at the stage, Lee had been forced to sing, and Lee wasn't having it so a man had poured sake down his throat.
"Lighten up lady." said the man. Lee slumped onto the ground. The sake was taking its effect on him. He stood up and his body wavered around for a while, he pick up the microphone and music played. Oh it was his favourite song. 'Celine Dion- Like a Natural Woman'. He began to sing and the microphone made a screeching sound.
"Cos you make me feeeeeel
You make me fee eel like a na-tu-ral wo-maaaaan" Lee continued to sing in a high pitch voice. "G-aii-sensei wi-ll be so-ooo-ooo ow proud- o-of mmmeeeeee"
"Oh god." said Gaara clutching his ears, "He's worse then us." Gaara was becoming angry and desperate. "Make him stop...oh please make him stop...I beg you, I'll never kill again I swear." With that the music stopped and Lee fell to the ground.
Kankuro poked Lee a couple of times and decided that Lee was asleep. "Oh I think we can let him live, I doubt that he will remember this when he wakes up, his chakra will run out soon and he will return back into his normal form." said Kankuro in a matter-of-fact voice. Suddenly a hand grabbed his foot.
"Thought I was asleep did you?" Lee slurred, "I was just pretending. See I fooled you."
"Dammit, Gaara, get him off me."
"I'm outta here, don't you remember what happened last time he was drunk and we were invited to Sakura's 18th birthday party, her house got so trashed they had to redo the whole structure of the building."
"Noo nooooo Gaara wait. Don't leave me." cried Kankuro.
"Sorry bro." Gaara was turning to toward the door...everyone was running out of the hot springs half naked as Lee had already begun trashing the karaoke set screaming "Damn trannys, don't like my singing." He was still holding Kankuro's foot using his body as a mallet.
"Gaara never forget, ow my head, I looove yooooou." said Kankuro, his head was bruised, he didn't want to die.
"Just admit it, you want my babies." Said the woman. Gai-sensei had 'kindly' given Neji and Tenten his portable TV. He had put on a nice romantic film on for his second favourite students. It was driving Neji and Tenten out of their minds so Gai kindly put it far away from them so they couldn't touch it. He disappeared claiming he had an other match with his eternal rival. The TV continued playing in the background while Tenten had her hands clasped over their ears, Neji was busy writing the story but the background noise plus Tenten's whining was getting on his nerves.
Removing her hand from her ears she grabbed a kunai bar, Gai-sensei took their kunai holster saying that if they tried to break his TV they would pay a very dire price. She aimed for the lady on the screen who was now at the feet of her boyfriend screaming for forgiveness. She ate a piece of the kunai bar almost kissing it good bye, she hated wasting food but she had no choice the TV was officially pissing her off. She aimed and threw it. Neji was praying for her to score. Yes, she hit the screen, making it crack a little but not enough. She tried again but missed there was only one kunai bar left. She threw it but it grazed the Ariel so the channel changed onto oo'er porn ewwwwwww.
"Neji, change it, change it fast, change it now." She was going to be mentally scarred now.
"How."
"I donno mould you chakra in to a needle of something."
"Good idea." So he did just that but he hit the wrong button it was the volume button. The volume had increased.
Gai was walking to take back his TV when he heard some grunting noises coming from where his students were. He stood there still. 'I wanted them to make up but not like this'
"Put you're finger further out Neji. No you're not trying hard enough." cried Tenten.
"I am, god stop shaking Tenten, it'll all be over soon." Gai was running away now, he didn't stay long enough to hear what happened next.
"Look what you did you silly twat, you broke the 'off' button."
"What?"
After a few more hours Neji manage to break the TV. Overjoyed Tenten clasped her hands together and kissed Neji on the lips. (o.O thought Neji blushing a little.)
Sakura had set up her trap carefully so as to not wake up 'sleeping beauty'. She was nearly done and she had all five cameras in place, now all she had to do was wait for him to wake up...
She waited and waited and she saw him stir a little in his sleep. She could wait any longer and she prodded him with a large stick, keeping her distance. Startled he woke up and banged his head on a tin of paint. Pink paint. All over him...all over his bed. PINK!
He scurried out of bed just to see how much damage had been done. Vision of himself looked back at him as he stared into the mirror..."All my hair its pa-pa-pa pink" he looked down his at his leg hair, under his arm pits and eww pubes and they were all pink. "EW that pervert, I'm gonna get her back for this." Little did Sasuke know that there was a camera rolling...
Sakura finally made her appearance she looked into the eyes of a furious Sasuke, she smiled. "I guess were even now Sasuke-kun...oh and by the way...SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!" she skipped off.
He would have to get the tape back no matter what. But how?
Naruto and Hinata had finished most of their story by now and Hinata had promised to make him Ramen since Naruto was now blackmailing her. "Naruto how long do you think you can keep doing this for?"
"Doing what?" he said while slurping some of the water.
"Eat ramen, it's really not good for you, you need to try other foods."
"Nani? You shouldn't worry so much you know Hinata."
"It's only because I care for you." She said with a serious look on her face...Naruto was the one blushing now, leaned over and kissed her on the lips.
"What kind of food?"
"Sushi for example"
"What's that?"
"It's raw fish with other stuff."
"Sorry, I don't do raw fish."
"Try some for me..." said Hinata giving him her best puppy dog eyes look.
"...Ok."
"Yata...I mean that's good well done."
Shikamaru couldn't believe what he had told Ino, and by the look of her neither could she, how ever she was blushing...um is that a good or bad thing, I wonder if she still fancies Sasuke, should I ask her? This is too troublesome
"How long have you like me for?"
"Eh? Yea a while now...jeez blonds are rather dense aren't they I mean Naruto doesn't know that Hinata fancies him and you didn't know that I..."
"Actually I knew for a while now, I was just checking...and I guess the same could be said for brunettes because you didn't know that I liked you."
"Wa?"
"That's right." while arguing their faces moved closer together. (Ooooh kissy wissy bit coming up)
"So you like me..."
"Yes..." she breathed out, faces still drawing nearer to each other he put his finger under her chin pulling her closer too him and then they kissed (...Muuuwaaaaaa), it was like fish lips, thought Ino, he really needs to learn how to kiss properly, oh well practise makes perfect she thought as she leaned in again.
'Eww, I've got fish lips...huh? She likes that?' thought a confused Shikamaru.
Back at the Hot Springs...Kankuro was now bruised and battered but surprisingly not dead. Lee was still slurring and still drunk he had walked over to a pole and started dancing and singing..."I just don't know what to do with my selfffffff. Come on Kankuro join in." Kankuro couldn't walk.
"I think you broke my legs" he cried in pain.
"Well now you know the feeling, the only way to get rid of the pain is to train...get up and dance. Yea baaaaay-beeeee YEA."
Kakashi was walking down the street when he heard all the commotion. "What's going on?' he thought 'Ah well none of my business I don't care." Suddenly a tall red haired man stepped in front of him crossing his path.
"It is you're business because my brother is stuck there while a drunken Lee is trying to kill him."
"What were you doing in a tranny spa?"
"Looking for inspiration like you said, you stupid SOB."
"I don't remember saying that, all I said was Jiraya gets his inspiration by looking at naked women, I just suggested that you could do the same but I never told you to look at transsexuals."
"Listen you stupid man, get my brother out and then leave us alone for good...you got that?"
"Fine...so then you won't mind if I go and every one your little secret then."
"Look here you'll get your dirty book but first get Kankuro out."
"Fine." Five minutes later Kakashi had managed to knock Lee out and had also managed to pull out a mangled Kankuro who was rapped around a pole. After he had finished he went to his apartment and found out that someone had sent him a note, he read it aloud..."I now you're dirty little secret and I'm going to tell...If you continue to force us to write you're dumb assed stories then I will tell...Ah empty threats mean nothing to me." said Kakashi in response to the letter. He tossed the letter into the fire and went to sleep.
The next day Kakashi woke up feeling refreshed, he went to get his mail...strange it was another treat. "If you ever toss my letter into the fire you will pay" Kakashi sighed and threw the later in the bin. He went to pour coffee into his mug when he found another letter. "You're quick and cleaver but if you disrespect my letters ever again you will pay." he found another letter, what was this strange jutsu? Letters began appearing everywhere; Kakashi didn't open any of them soon the letters were pelting all over him.
"Nooooooooooooooooo" he yelled
Sasuke tapped on Sakura's door with a huge smirk on his face, he held the pie and one hand and the camera in the other. She opened the door and she looked rather scared as she looked into Sasuke's face. He then plunged the pie into her face and she stood there fuming and furious. He clicked the camera and was about to skip off when Sakura grabbed his shoulder turning him...
She wiped her face taking off all the cream, she then leaned her face into his...the smell of pie and cherry blossom was intoxicating his senses...she kissed him and he kissed her back, their faces were apart and she whispered "I'll give you yours if you give me mine...wanna trade?" Sasuke's grip on the picture had loosened and he slipped it into her had and visa versa...
"By the way my pubes are pink, any idea how that happend?
Please read and review I hope you like this chapter...
(Remember no flamers' thanks)
