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Blackmail and Deadlines
Chapter Nine: Finishing fight
Lee was sitting on the street outside his shack he was feeling slightly cold and confused. He had a spitting headache, god, how did he get here? A large bra and thong clung to his body; he couldn't remember all the events from last night. Lee rubbed his head and stood up. It hurt so much to just move a muscle, as he stood up the thong slid down his legs leaving him exposed...O.o
"Hey get some clothes on you freaking idiot." It was like a scene out of 'Terminator', (der der doo de doof de ner neeeer) Lee walked up to the man in a semi- naked state. Lee knocked the guy out and stripped him of his clothes. He slipped on the pink floral shirt and he decided to rip the leather trousers to his liking...so basically he wore short leather shorts with no underpants plus a pink shirt with flowers on it, he kept the bra on underneath. He took the mans glasses and dragged him into the middle of the ally way.
"Astalavista...Baby" Lee hopped on the guy's rusty bike...he was on a quest to recover his memory.
Riding down the streets of Konoha Lee was looking for some clues, where did he go last night?
Suddenly he saw some puppets in a stall. There was one with a purple face and red hair it had green eyes much like Gaara.
Wait a minute? Gaara?
Still dangling down in their little prison, Tenten was wondering if that kiss had made them an item. Neji was busy writing; he was trying to take his mind off yesterday. The two were sitting in uncomfortable silence. 'So hmm, this story is set in China right.' thought Neji 'and the guys name is Marco...right.' Neji was furiously scribbling away, to day was due date for the story and Tenten was watching him with her eyebrows furrowed.
Now Neji was giggling manically. He was clutching his sides, his laugh made all the birds fly out of the trees, his laugh made all the leaves fall off the branches (well almost).
Tenten snatched the book from out of his grasp. His laughter slowly ebbed away.
Tenten read aloud: "Marco Polo went to China
Came back with a sack and a brand new vagina..."
Tenten was officially disgusted. It wasn't even that funny, she was about to confront him when Gai-sensei appeared. "Students," he began, "I have spoken to Tsunade-sama and it appears that I have to release you from this prison."
"Yay Yata" cried Tenten, Neji backed away afraid she might kiss him again.
"Now isn't the time to celebrate...Tenten, Neji, you are under arrest for indecent exposure, anything you say or do may go against you in the court of law, you are allowed to have a lawyer present at the time of questioning, do I make my self clear." He got them out of the robe cage and cuffed their hands"
"This is a joke right?" asked Neji. He hadn't even removed a shirt during his time in the woods.
"No Neji, I'm dead serious, yesterday I heard you and Tenten having...having sexual intercourse."
"Excuse me?" said Tenten in disbelief.
"Walk, we must go to Tsunade-sama for questioning...seriously, have I taught you any thing over the past nine years? What if a child walked in while you were-?"
"We didn't ANYTHING you dirty pervert." said Tenten, uh oh her rage was peeping through. "You've been hanging around Kakashi too much; his pervy-ness is rubbing off."
"How dare you talk or my rival in such away." Meanwhile Neji was thinking, what could have given off the impression that they were sleeping together?
Naruto cringed, a number of dishes rested upon the white marble surface in the kitchen of Hinata's kitchen. Every thing was so clean, disturbingly clean, so clean it freaked him out. The plates were clean with all sorts of different foods resting ever so neatly on them. It was like being in a restaurant. Dish number one was... Okra salad.
"Itadakimasu, what is this Hinata?"
"It's lady's fingers, or Okra some might call it." She said cheerfully as she saw Naruto place it in his gob.
"Verry gr-nice." He was chewing the slimy substance it tasted toxic. When she went behind the counter to get some salt, he spat it out into a tissue and put it in his pocket. Silly Naruto didn't know that she was using her Byakugan to detect his movements. Smiling she continued to dish out all the foods she knew he wouldn't like.
"There you go Naruto." Dish number Two Aubergines...so the list went on and eventually Naruto had no more space left in his pockets. He didn't know what to do. He liked spending time with Hinata but he didn't seem to like her food although her Ramen was pretty good. 'Oh why oh why is she torturing me?'
"Uh Naruto get ready it's time to go and drop the book of the Kakashi-sensei." said Hinata
Five pm: Kakashi was swimming in letters. He could cry a river at this moment in time. What would happen if his land lord came and found all this mess? Someone was playing an evil trick on him, "What do you want." he cried. Suddenly a red own soared through the window caring a red letter. It read 'Stop Blackmailing everyone and then I will make this all disappear.' Kakashi thought long and hard as he tried to decide what he would do.
Temari was sitting on a branch of a tree out side Kakashi's window, she was out of his sight so he couldn't see her, she was using some chakra strings to control the movements of the letters. She was surprised that no one else had tried this.
Sakura and Sasuke were on their way to Kakashi's apartment, they were off to drop the story to him when they saw Temari, and quietly they watched her they obviously couldn't see the chakra strings in her hand so it looked like she was trying to grab the air.
"What on earth is she doing?" asked Sakura
"It looks like she is spying on Kakashi, doesn't she know he's involved with Kurenai-sensei?" replied Sasuke.
"Hey it looks like she punching the air...or is she trying to grab the window ledge, should we ask her?"
"No I have a better idea..."
"What now pink pubes?"
Sasuke looked at her in an irritated way, "A) Don't ever call me that...EVER and B) lets take a few pics of her, maybe we can use it to blackmail her." Suddenly Sasuke felt some tapping on his shoulders, her turned around and his onyx eyes met a pair or emerald eyes...nope it wasn't Sakura. It was Gaara. "Eh he he." Sasuke backed away.
Gaara looked up to see the butt of Sakura's and Sasuke's joke, when he saw Temari...O.o what was she doing there. How could she be spying o someone that was blackmailing her? Did she not know he was involved with Kurenai?
Gaara was about to march up to the tree when a bunch of hands grabbed him it was Kakuro, Sakura, and Sauke. "No not yet Gaara let's see what she's doing." said Kankuro who was Gaara's voice of reason.
So all four of them sat behind the tree gazing at Temari. Naruto and Hinata were walking hand in hand towards Kakashi's place when they saw everyone behind the tree, they were crouching on the ground, Kankuro was leaning over and his trousers were starting to reveal his crack.
"Ah ah Hinata-chan, look Kankuro's butt...Aaaahh..." Hinata nudged his side making him stop.
"Wait a minute Sakura-chan, I think I heard that dobe's voice wait here." said Sasuke standing up.
"Oh I'm not going any where" said Sakura; her eyes were fixated on Temari.
Sasuke walked up to Naruto and Hinata explaining the situation. "Hey you smell kind of funky Naruto, smells like /sniff sniff/ smells like ladies fingers, hey that's my favourite." said Sauske with an uncharacteristically enthusiasm.
Naruto was looking down at the ground sheepishly. Suddenly he was dragged to the tree spot by Hinata and everyone took their seats.
Time went by and people were beginning to think why they were there, Temari wasn't really doing any thing particularly interesting, she just seemed to be punching the air. Choji, Kiba and Shino had arrived to the spot to hand in their book which consisted of thirty chapters; they very much enjoyed writing it and held no grudges against Kakashi.
The late couple Shikamaru and Ino , no prizes for guessing what they were doing were walking towards the house but unlike the others they decided to go to the front of the house. Shikamaru's eyes widened he could feel the presence of many people lurking behind Kakashi's house, he thought that maybe they were planning an attack on the lazy sensei. Suddenly Ino felt a tug on her arm. They walk round the corner of the apartment block only to find Temari in the tree. Being a loud mouth Ino could only shout. "Hey Temari what you doing up there."
"Go away Ino-pig, I'm trying to concentrate." was Ino's reply but Shikamaru was still confused, how come he could feel multiple presences.
There were gasping sounds coming from the tree, uh, maybe it was his imagination, gaar this was troublesome. Suddenly he had caught Temari's attention and her gaze was fixated on him. Uh oh.
Ino had sensed that Temari was looking at her man. There was going to be a fight.
"Hello Shikamaru." drawled Temari.
"/bush/ Hello Temari-san"
"Come on let's go inside and give Kakashi his book boyfriend." said Ino.
(Behind the tree out of people's gaze)
"Yea...Bitch fight bitch fight." Chanted the boys.
"Shut up pink pubes." said Sakura. Ever one looked at Sakura questioningly; Sakura would willingly explain if it weren't for the death glare she received from Sasuke.
Everyone turned back to the fight which was now in full swing, even Kakashi had heard which made him press his face against the window, the letters were replicating at a quicker rate and it was now squashing his body.
(Back to the fight)
Shikamaru was had pulled out a portable flexi chair and was now sitting on it while looking up at the perfect summers sky...O.o ooh that cloud looks like Ino.
The fight went on but it was too troublesome to watch, Kunais were flying every where, chakra strings were clinging on to things and before you knew it Ino was cutting her hair off just like she had done five years ago at the chunin exam she had Temari where she wanted her and the fight was becoming pointless.
Behind the tree
"Wow this is full on." said Naruto
"Shut up dobe they might hear us." said Kankuro
Lee was driving up to the sight on is rusty bike. Everyone's gazes were turned towards him err he was wearing a floral shirt with ripped up leather gear, he looked positively gay. O.o'
"I want some answers...who is you're daddy and what does he do?"
"Are you alright Lee?" asked Sakura
Lee marched up to Kakashi's block. His attention was finally broken when a kunai flew into his back it appeared to be embedded to his back. Gaara was cowering in fear; he feared that Lee might remember that he wasn't the only one in the tranny spa, that he wasn't the only one singing, that he wasn't the only one wearing a bikini.
Temari rushed to Lee's side, her face was panic stricken. The floral shirt was now bloody and Lee had snapped out of his Arnold Schwartananaa phase. "Ahhhh blood, am I going to die?"
"Don't worry darling you're not going to die" cried Temari dramatically. It was like a scene of a really bad movie.
"I love you Temari, Marry me"
"Yes hell yea." cried Temari.
Every girl behind the tree was looking like this O.o o.O yea kiss her now!
The boys however were like this...O.o'
Kurenai was walking back home, with groceries since Kakashi never did any shopping. She opened the door to the apartment when all the letters fell on top of her like an avalanche.
Tenten and Neji were in the questioning room, hands still cuffed, it wasn't going very well because Tsunade didn't believe them. She sentenced them for six months imprisonment for indecent exposure. Well at least they could have a shower now
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