Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOOOOOOU!

So many reviews, more then I'm used to. I'm really sorry I haven't updated but I've come to the stage where I'm not so sure how I'm going to end it, I mean they have already handed the story in...How much more can I say on that part, any way I'm going to ramble on a bit but I hope you like this chapter!

Also- I thought you guys might want to know that I choked on a piece of meat the other day, actually it's a funny story...but I'm sure you don't want to know...But choking on that piece of meat really put my life back into perspective, kind of...

ANY HOW...

Thank you-

FireDragonBall

Lee-sanOnee-san

TheSunshineGirls

ChristianaRR

Inu-Fan-5

Dragoon14455

Emily

jay-blink-azn32

DemonCloudStrife (x8)

Millie-chan

I'm so grateful!

BTW...I'm wondering if this fic should be rated M for a lot of language that might come later...let me know

Oh yea, it might be a little OOC...so don't scold me for that.


Blackmails and Deadlines

Chapter Ten: Visitors and Banan-o-chidoru-no jutsu


"One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi..." droned Tenten as she sat back to back with Neji. She would count all the god damn Mississippi until some officer would prod her and Neji on the shoulder and tell them that it was one big joke. Neji was poking the bars that were surrounded by chakra he was trying to find the weak point. As his fine needle of chakra made contact with the bar it made buzzing like sounds, that and Tenten's noise combined was driving the guards insane. Neji saw this and started tapping his feet against the cold concrete ground, getting the idea of things Tenten started to wail a little louder so she sounded like rat on helium. 'Combined they were making a top ten single.' thought Tenten with stars in her eyes.

"For the love of god stop that now." said one of the guards that seemed to be having a mental break down.

"Why?" asked Tenten

"Because, it's driving us crazy."

"It's the only thing keeping us sane, so live with it." said a bored Hyuuga.

"Ok Neji lets hit it from the top...One, Two, Three, HIT IT." she screamed.

"Wait- Tenten, Neji, you have a visitor." said another officer while removing a set of ear plugs. Behind the officer stood none other then the one and only, almighty Rock Lee, he was clad in a ripped up leather hot pants and a pink floral shirt. Temari was following him around, purring in his ear, while caressing his slightly exposed chest with bit of fake curly hair tagged on in various areas.

Neji and Tenten gasped when they saw him, even Neji couldn't hide his shock. "What in Gods name are you wearing?" asked Tenten.

"Oh, this? This is my babe magnet outfit, not that I never was a babe magnet but you know what I mean, any ways enough about me, how was it?"

" ..." Hmm, uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"...You see the reason I'm asking is because, me and Temari are planning for a baby."

"Excuse me?" asked Tenten, who's eyebrows were twitching. Neither Tenten nor Neji knew had to respond to that.

"Hn...Don't you believe in sex after marriage?" asked Neji with usual interest seeping through.

"Like you're oneto talk, Tch, Marriage? Who needs such- "Lee words were cut off by Temari who was now thumping him to death.

"YES, Where're getting married tonight at that Little White Chapel place, Oh it's going to be SSOOOOO romantic." Coo-ed Temari.

"It's a shame we won't be able to come..." said Tenten in-between her teeth. Eyebrows still twitching.

"So any way, about sexual intercourse, how did you do it in such a small area?" asked Lee yet again.

"Grrr..." growled Tenten (no not like that.) She was like a mad woman trying to break the bars; it was the only barrier that stopped her from killing Lee at that moment in time.

Lee's brief moment of fun was cut off by an ANBU soldier who had to drag Lee out. "Oh, Tenten, Neji, you have more visitors, actually there is a whole queue waiting for you out side the building." Both Neji and Tenten groaned a little. The next visitor came in; it was...HIASHI-SAMA!

"Ohiyo, Neji, Tenten...I have come here today to...err, discuss the issue of err..."

"Sex?" said Tenten helping out a stuttering Hiashi, he almost sounded like Hinata.

"Yes, you're a bright spark you, Neji always had great taste in women."

"Oh god I think I'm going to heave." said Neji.

"So sex, is a very natural thing especially for nineteen year olds like you're self, as head of the Hyuuga house I have to know that Tenten, are you pregnant?"

"NO WAY."

"See Tenten, you can never be too sure about that, so this is why I have kindly brought along a pregnancy test kit, now child, look me in the eye...If the test results are positive you and Neji will have to get married, capish?"

"We never had-" Neji was cut off by Hiashi.

"Neji, please don't insult me, you don't have to lie any more, it's perfectly natural!"

"Ok Hiashi-sama, it's time for the other visitors to come in." said the ANBU officers, Neji and Tenten were silently grateful that Hiashi was taken away. Next up was Konoha's one and only sex education teacher Masaki-sensei.

"Ohiyo children." She coo-ed as she dragged a big black bag with her. "To-day we will be learning about-"

"LALALALAALAALALAAA, IM NOT LISTNING TO YOU GET OUT LALALALAALAA." Screamed Tenten.

"Now, now that's an immature attitude to have, especially when you're about to be parents." said Masaki in an irritating soothing voice.

Neji took Tenten's arm forcefully and dragged her to the other side of the room, "Look, I have a plan..."

"Ooohhhhh...really?"


Meanwhile back at Kakashi's apartment:

Once the catfight was over everyone had gone back to Sakura's house for refreshments, Shikamaru was unaware and he had fell asleep on the deck chair while looking at the clouds. Ino was beginning to get frustrated, she tried everything to wake him up, she tried dipping his hand in warm water, hoping it would make him pee and then wake up, and then she tried pouring ice cold water on his face, but that didn't work. After a while she came up with a plan she was about to get up when Kakashi came out holding a banana, "Get off my property, or I'll call the police." He looked like a robber especially with that mask on. "You won't get you're revenge so leave now." Kakashi's voice was horse and his eye was twitching madly.

"Relax Kakashi-sensei, I just want to get Shikamaru, and then I'll leave ok..."

"NOOOO...YOU LIE!"

"Oh my goodness, calm down Ino, calm, breath, you're in the middle of no where and a psycho is pointing a banana at you, what do you do?" said Ino who was currently finding breathing a struggle.

"It was you, wasn't it? YOU, you're the one who has been feeding letters into my apartment, you, YOU made everyone think it was Temari didn't you.

"No, it wasn't me I swear!" Kakashi was now violently peeling the banana skin open, his head band was lifted up and his sharingan was revealed, he began hacking at the banana violently and Ino was screaming bloody murder. OMFG, what the hell was he going to do with that thing?

"Get-off-my-property-NOW!" he said while charging at her full speed. "This is my new jutsu I have been working on; it's called YELLO-OOO banan-o-chidoru-no JUTSU!"

"No...no...NOOOOOOOO..." Ino was running away from Kakashi, while tripping over several roots that protruded from the ground. Electrifying yellow chakra flowed around the banana, Kakashi was catching up to Ino very quickly, and then it was like slow motion...

SPLAAAAAT

"My...my...my...MY HAIR, what have you done you SOB, you're gonna pay."

"NOOO...KURENAI-CHAN...HELP ME"

Ino charged up to him, adrenalin pumping through her veins. Minutes later Kakashi's body was mangled. "Hah, that'll teach you to mess with my hair. Tch, Banana-Chidori-no-baka!" She walked away dragging Shikamaru's unconscious body with her.


Meanwhile back at in the prison cell, Tenten was stuffing a pillow underneath her top.

"Ok, do you understand what you have to do?" asked Neji

"Yes, claim I drank miracle grow and then the baby got big, call security, bust my way out and then run off, sounds simple enough...how romantic, were going to elope!"

"Right...This plan isn't going to work is it?"

"Nope, but we can only try!" exclaimed Tenten."

"Whatever..."

"You can at least act a little more enthusiastic...were having a B-A-B-Y!"

"Oh right..." (Here's where it goes a little (ok a lot) OOC!)

"What am I supposed to do, some women scream sometimes?"

"Err, I'm not sure... They always tend to bea-" No, no way he was going to let Tenten take advantage of the situation, by beating him up, she'd torture him and do mean things...

"Tend to what?"

"Erm, be nice...yes be nice..."

"Well when my cousin went in to 'labour' she was like squeezing her husbands hand and crushing his bones, you think I should do that?"

"NO!"


Yea...ok I ran out of ideas...be nice when you review!

Thanks!