A Tangled Love Affair
Disclaimer: I don't own SD boys, Inoue does. The events that follow are not included in the original plot but enjoy anyway.
A/N: to Yelen; Hahaha! You got me there.
To ivybluesummers: Sorry for the super late update. You know, I feel like annoying someone that's why I'm going to put the Christian name before the family name in defiance to Japanese Traditions. And oh, also against the correctness of someone we both know so well.
Chapter III
Love is never any better than the lover-Toni Morrison
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Getting over Mitsui is like compelling oneself to inhale the poison of his own breath. It isn't exactly a crime; it's more like smoking, gradual suicide as they call it. To die slowly because of the sorrow, to survive on a drama that eats up one's sanity till he's ready to give up anything he has besides Mitsui because nothing else really matters without the latter's presence; and Kogure was only too intimately familiar with that kind of feeling. It happened daily, hourly and momentarily. He had wanted to get rid of it many times, Lord knows about it; and he knew he had tried so hard. The shackles wouldn't break, however, and it remained; Mitsui should always be there, someone impossible to get over with, someone whose permanence resembles that of the universe and its omnipresence. But NOT getting over Mitsui is altogether a different thing; to subsist in its happiness which isn't precisely real.
Delusion. That's the pat word. To harbor a certain joy whose greatness proves illusory, where it still lingers like cobwebs amidst the forlornness of a once lively house that is Kogure's world. Sometimes the breathing world and its brutality are almost unbelievable that an alternative should be created. Lies for instance; lies that are made to look like facts over time. Kogure had often been a victim of such desperation just to escape the scars made by the fast fading world that Mitsui had built with him. It was too hard to get over, much as he wanted to do it. Of course he would've loved to forget, to forget and not to forgive but he was weak, and only those with steadfast hearts are capable of that. And he wasn't about to act heartlessly because that's just not him; he might as well argue with Nietzsche in German.
But he met Akira Sendoh, and there are times when he forgot trying to forget, and when he remembered it again; it no longer brought the same weight it had prior to that meeting. He never really believed that time could efface anything because it did not, empirically. Only inexperienced song writers say that. And fuck knows he was too experienced. But events could blur it or rather, blur Mitsui from his mind to the point that that frustration seemed to stereotype itself to his view. Thus getting over simply becomes a purpose neglected with no appalling consequence in being so. It no longer hurt as it used to.
He met Sendoh during the proposed practice game, and immediately guessed that Sendoh and Rukawa would end up in some cute restaurant after the match. On the contrary, the 2 exchanged bitter farewells and probably some unrevealed physical aches gained after too much of pushing and harsh body contacts. But his own goodbye to Sendoh was smile ridden, not so much so it hid too many meanings; it was just friendly and almost routinely. They met again in front of a sports outlet in Kanagawa mall. It was a Saturday, a bright one.
'Hey. You the guy from Shohoku?'
'Yes. Kiminobu Kogure.'
'Akira Sendoh.'
'I know that.'
'Alright. This store's nice, you know. They offer apparels in lower prices and some of them you don't see in branded stores. D'you always go here?'
'Not really. Just once with my brother; we bought a pin.'
'A pin? Well that's a weird choice from a large variety of choices.'
'Yeah, we needed the ball inflated once in a while; saves money instead of buying a new one every time it runs out of air.'
'Right. Hey have you seen the new kicks they got from New York? I've been checking them out all morning and couldn't get over that yellow Nike Turbine.'
'I haven't really,'
'You should see them. Let's get inside and maybe we can grab something to eat later.'
Sendoh almost dragged Kogure inside. The Ryonan star didn't like talking about the weather which is a lame prototype excuse to extend a conversation, nor did he find the subject on his basketball life amusing. He had told Kogure that he could enjoy being a star without anyone yakking away about it and he was sure that everything that would be said was nothing no one had ever heard. He was just probably tired of it and would rather sit quietly to indulge on his personal musings than to exhaust his jaw on words.
They ended up eating in Wendy's that afternoon. After 2 hours of what they called 'cool time' Kogure stood up, looked at his watched and then to the door, until he gave the final hint that it was getting late. Sendoh smiled a faint one that remarked his mood; reluctance to let the other go but Kogure said it was really time to leave. They parted and exchanged phone numbers which Kogure found rather silly, and 3 days after he received a phone call from the sophomore. The conversation lasted in a relatively long duration. They talked about the movies, the NBA, Pachinko's, and even about food. They talked about their lives, hobbies besides basketball, and even their friends which wasn't a very exciting topic to both because their friends were who they were with everyday. And on their next meeting they did the same; same old talking, idle chit chat which seemed to interest the younger boy despite its irrelevance, not to mention redundancy. But when they said goodbye Sendoh gave Kogure a kiss. A rather light one that was neither friendly nor too suggestive. There was mutuality and normality in it that failed to give them both any actual meaning aside from the reality that this wasn't going to be their last meeting, and would probably be even entailed by many, many more meetings from then on.
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Months later…
Kogure couldn't say if his emotional links with Mitsui were gone and nowhere to be found; but he was sure that he needed to tell Sendoh of his past and of Mitsui, now that Mitsui had returned. And he did that; he told Sendoh everything without having to put so much effort of fighting back the tears. He said that he had gotten over the ex-MVP (ex-boyfriend, ex-gangster) for some time when they were apart but he did say too that this homecoming was troubling him. The idea of Mitsui going back, that is. But Sendoh smiled again,
'Well, if you want you can get him back,' (!)
'What?' Kogure almost exclaimed before glaring at the sophomore. 'You're letting it just like that?'
'No; I'm giving you a chance, perhaps…'
'What if I don't want that chance?'
'Well, that's exactly what I want to hear from you.' Sendoh said and grinned.
Kogure smiled too and held the younger boy's hand. Maybe worrying over Mitsui shouldn't be much of a pain.
TBC
a/n: oi, ivy, eto na ah. Medyo panget pagkakasulat kase iniisip ko pa kung ilalagay ko yung naisip ko. Hahaha!
