Okay, this is my fic, therefore I am making Schuldich 22 years old.
It just makes sense with the ficcie I'm writing, okay??
It was a good idea though!!
Translations are in (( and end in )) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
He sat in his room all alone, like he preferred it. While he was there he read one of her letters she had written before the fire. They had never found her body, but she was presumed dead.
Hallo Liebling, ich bin's wieder. Ich musste dir einfach schreiben und dir erzählen, was mir Mutter heute erzählt hat. Ich werde für sechs Monate bei meinem Vater wohnen. Ich fahre in zwei Wochen. Ich wollte dir nur bescheid sagen. Ich kann es kaum erwarten! Deine Serena
((Translation:
Hello Love, It's me again. I just had to write you and tell you about what mother told me today. I get to stay at father's house with him for six months. I'm leaving here in two weeks. I just wanted to tell you. I can't wait!
Your Serena ))
He read the letter over and over. Her beautiful penmanship... he looked at the wall in his room. She had been the first person he'd ever slept with, and after her alleged death, he'd felt unbearably guilty about it. Why? She was four years younger than him. Her birthday was before his, so she had been fourteen years old. He had been seventeen. He remembered all of their talks. Most men would have freaked out about her talking about what to name their children. Not him, because that had been the way it was then. Back when everything made such perfect sense. Back where everything made sense. In Germany. With his fiance'. When she was alive.
They had done it the old fashioned way. His father had promised him to her, by having a talk with her father. They had only expected to put up with one another. But they had fallen in love. She wanted to have a son first. She wanted to name him Sonne ((Sun)) after her favorite song, by her favorite band, Rammstein. He had been unable to resist those beautiful blue eyes. Then, two weeks after that, someone had set her father's house on fire. It had been a pilot who had been furious because her father hadn't passed him. The pilot had not been able to fly well, period. But that pilot had gotten angry well. Her father was one of the highest commanding officers in the Luftwaffe; the German Air Force.
He remembered the way he had screamed at the pilot when the court case had been settled. The pilot's sentence had been for Arson and "Attempted Murder". He had jumped up and yelled "Das ist Mitleid erregend! Lasst mich gehen! Nur weil sie sie nicht finden konnten, heisst das nicht, dass er sie nicht getötet hat! Mörder! Ich hoffe, dass du jeden Tag, den du im Gefängnis bist, ihre Schreie hörst und dass es deine Seele verschlingen wird! Ich hoffe es wird deinen Geist töten, für alles, was du mir genommen hast!"
(("That's pathetic! Let me go! Just because they couldn't find her, doesn't
mean he didn't kill her! Killer! I hope everyday you're in jail, you hear her cries and it eats away at your soul! I hope it kills your spirit for all you have taken from me!"))
And now he sat here, mourning her death as he had done for four years. He knew he would do so for the rest of his life. That was his fate. Then why date and sleep with so many women if he was committed to Serena? Because, he always pretended they were Serena. Always. The first twenty or so times he had yelled her name instead of whomever was with him. But now... he only said her name in his mind. He didn't say anything out loud.
He stared out the window. "Meine Liebe... es war halt nicht so gedacht. Ich hoffe ich bin bald bei dir." He whispered, staring down at her box of things. Made of metal, so it hadn't been totally destroyed in the fire.
(("My love... it wasn't meant to be this way. I hope I will be with you soon."))
He opened the box and saw a bandanna in there, along with a pair of sunglasses on top of a bunch of papers. Torn out magazine articles on Rammstein and Laut Sprecher... A mini photo album (very mini... looks like a small book)he looked through the photo album, seeing pictures of her, pictures of her friends, pictures of him, pictures of her mother and her father, a picture of her and her father, a picture of her and her mother, a picture of her cat, Brandfleck ((Scorch)) and her dog, a German Shepard named Eingefroren ((Frozen)). She named them after the season they were bought in. Brandfleck was bought in Summer, and Eingefroren was bought in the Winter.
He looked at the final 20 pictures. Pictures of her and him together. He stared down at the bandanna and the sunglasses. She had worn them a lot when they went out together. She had begged him to give her that bandanna and those sunglasses. Just to be 'A little like you, Liebling!' Why did she have to be gone? He remembered the morning after they had... slept together.
*Flashback*
He was watching her sleep, running his fingers through her hair. Wait. What
right did he have to do this to her? She's fourteen. What right did he have to do this? Take this from her? But he quelled his thoughts. 'Of course I have a right. I am
her fiance'. I have every damn right. Besides, in a few years, it won't matter anyways. We will be married, and it won't matter.'
"Du siehst süss aus, wenn du zu hart nachdenkst." (("You look cute when you
think too hard."))
"Woher weisst du, dass ich zu hart nachgedacht habe?" (("How do you know I was thinking too hard?"))
"Ich könnte den Rauch aus deinen Ohren kommen sehen." (("I could see the smoke coming out of your ears."))
"Das ist nicht lustig." (("That is not funny."))
She started laughing. Then, she turned serious.
"Du machst mich lieber nicht zu einem Nymphomanen!" (("You had better not turn me into a nymphomaniac!"))
He grinned and told her not to worry, because he would.
*End*
She had always been laughing, and happy. After she died, he had gone crazy. Laughing, crying, furious all the time. His emotions changed sporadically. He hated this. He wanted her back. Badly. But now, it was time for him to do what he had unspokenly promised. To spend the rest of his pathetic existence pining for her, wanting to have and hold what her never could anymore.
He'd spend his time grieving. For the rest of his life. Then, he was convinced, when he died, it would be her taking him away from this hollow plane of existence. And he would go happily. That was why he even became an assassin. He used his anger about her death to kill. To become merciless... heartless... and sooner or later, he'd make a wrong move... and he'd die. One could only hope. And you thought Farfarello was crazy. No, I am more insane than he is. Schuldich. Guilty. It suits me. I was guilty of love, so I got a loss, I am guilty of grief, so now... you get the point. Mein Liebling... if you saw me now... you would probably be so disappointed in me....
A lone tear slid down his cheek, which surprised him. He had thought he'd run out of tears a long time ago. So he sat there, with a heavy heart, staring at the moon the way Serena always had.
=====================================================================
Wow..... that's like the most dramatic thing I've ever written! ...... Damn. I am thinking of making this into a series here, because I have some cool ideas for this. *Shrugs some* Lemme know if it's any good, or you want to see more, or if it sucked. *Grins*
The Screamaa, Sailor Star Scream
*Who
It was a good idea though!!
Translations are in (( and end in )) ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
He sat in his room all alone, like he preferred it. While he was there he read one of her letters she had written before the fire. They had never found her body, but she was presumed dead.
Hallo Liebling, ich bin's wieder. Ich musste dir einfach schreiben und dir erzählen, was mir Mutter heute erzählt hat. Ich werde für sechs Monate bei meinem Vater wohnen. Ich fahre in zwei Wochen. Ich wollte dir nur bescheid sagen. Ich kann es kaum erwarten! Deine Serena
((Translation:
Hello Love, It's me again. I just had to write you and tell you about what mother told me today. I get to stay at father's house with him for six months. I'm leaving here in two weeks. I just wanted to tell you. I can't wait!
Your Serena ))
He read the letter over and over. Her beautiful penmanship... he looked at the wall in his room. She had been the first person he'd ever slept with, and after her alleged death, he'd felt unbearably guilty about it. Why? She was four years younger than him. Her birthday was before his, so she had been fourteen years old. He had been seventeen. He remembered all of their talks. Most men would have freaked out about her talking about what to name their children. Not him, because that had been the way it was then. Back when everything made such perfect sense. Back where everything made sense. In Germany. With his fiance'. When she was alive.
They had done it the old fashioned way. His father had promised him to her, by having a talk with her father. They had only expected to put up with one another. But they had fallen in love. She wanted to have a son first. She wanted to name him Sonne ((Sun)) after her favorite song, by her favorite band, Rammstein. He had been unable to resist those beautiful blue eyes. Then, two weeks after that, someone had set her father's house on fire. It had been a pilot who had been furious because her father hadn't passed him. The pilot had not been able to fly well, period. But that pilot had gotten angry well. Her father was one of the highest commanding officers in the Luftwaffe; the German Air Force.
He remembered the way he had screamed at the pilot when the court case had been settled. The pilot's sentence had been for Arson and "Attempted Murder". He had jumped up and yelled "Das ist Mitleid erregend! Lasst mich gehen! Nur weil sie sie nicht finden konnten, heisst das nicht, dass er sie nicht getötet hat! Mörder! Ich hoffe, dass du jeden Tag, den du im Gefängnis bist, ihre Schreie hörst und dass es deine Seele verschlingen wird! Ich hoffe es wird deinen Geist töten, für alles, was du mir genommen hast!"
(("That's pathetic! Let me go! Just because they couldn't find her, doesn't
mean he didn't kill her! Killer! I hope everyday you're in jail, you hear her cries and it eats away at your soul! I hope it kills your spirit for all you have taken from me!"))
And now he sat here, mourning her death as he had done for four years. He knew he would do so for the rest of his life. That was his fate. Then why date and sleep with so many women if he was committed to Serena? Because, he always pretended they were Serena. Always. The first twenty or so times he had yelled her name instead of whomever was with him. But now... he only said her name in his mind. He didn't say anything out loud.
He stared out the window. "Meine Liebe... es war halt nicht so gedacht. Ich hoffe ich bin bald bei dir." He whispered, staring down at her box of things. Made of metal, so it hadn't been totally destroyed in the fire.
(("My love... it wasn't meant to be this way. I hope I will be with you soon."))
He opened the box and saw a bandanna in there, along with a pair of sunglasses on top of a bunch of papers. Torn out magazine articles on Rammstein and Laut Sprecher... A mini photo album (very mini... looks like a small book)he looked through the photo album, seeing pictures of her, pictures of her friends, pictures of him, pictures of her mother and her father, a picture of her and her father, a picture of her and her mother, a picture of her cat, Brandfleck ((Scorch)) and her dog, a German Shepard named Eingefroren ((Frozen)). She named them after the season they were bought in. Brandfleck was bought in Summer, and Eingefroren was bought in the Winter.
He looked at the final 20 pictures. Pictures of her and him together. He stared down at the bandanna and the sunglasses. She had worn them a lot when they went out together. She had begged him to give her that bandanna and those sunglasses. Just to be 'A little like you, Liebling!' Why did she have to be gone? He remembered the morning after they had... slept together.
*Flashback*
He was watching her sleep, running his fingers through her hair. Wait. What
right did he have to do this to her? She's fourteen. What right did he have to do this? Take this from her? But he quelled his thoughts. 'Of course I have a right. I am
her fiance'. I have every damn right. Besides, in a few years, it won't matter anyways. We will be married, and it won't matter.'
"Du siehst süss aus, wenn du zu hart nachdenkst." (("You look cute when you
think too hard."))
"Woher weisst du, dass ich zu hart nachgedacht habe?" (("How do you know I was thinking too hard?"))
"Ich könnte den Rauch aus deinen Ohren kommen sehen." (("I could see the smoke coming out of your ears."))
"Das ist nicht lustig." (("That is not funny."))
She started laughing. Then, she turned serious.
"Du machst mich lieber nicht zu einem Nymphomanen!" (("You had better not turn me into a nymphomaniac!"))
He grinned and told her not to worry, because he would.
*End*
She had always been laughing, and happy. After she died, he had gone crazy. Laughing, crying, furious all the time. His emotions changed sporadically. He hated this. He wanted her back. Badly. But now, it was time for him to do what he had unspokenly promised. To spend the rest of his pathetic existence pining for her, wanting to have and hold what her never could anymore.
He'd spend his time grieving. For the rest of his life. Then, he was convinced, when he died, it would be her taking him away from this hollow plane of existence. And he would go happily. That was why he even became an assassin. He used his anger about her death to kill. To become merciless... heartless... and sooner or later, he'd make a wrong move... and he'd die. One could only hope. And you thought Farfarello was crazy. No, I am more insane than he is. Schuldich. Guilty. It suits me. I was guilty of love, so I got a loss, I am guilty of grief, so now... you get the point. Mein Liebling... if you saw me now... you would probably be so disappointed in me....
A lone tear slid down his cheek, which surprised him. He had thought he'd run out of tears a long time ago. So he sat there, with a heavy heart, staring at the moon the way Serena always had.
=====================================================================
Wow..... that's like the most dramatic thing I've ever written! ...... Damn. I am thinking of making this into a series here, because I have some cool ideas for this. *Shrugs some* Lemme know if it's any good, or you want to see more, or if it sucked. *Grins*
The Screamaa, Sailor Star Scream
*Who
