Title:
His Circumstance
Author:
May Chang
Warnings:
angst, AU, POV
Pairings:
Shikamaru x Temari, Shikamaru x Ino
Disclaimers:
"Naruto" is the property of Kishimoto Masahi.
A/N: The only spoiler
in this fic is if you haven't read chapter 245. Other than that,
everything else is AU.
His Circumstance
He found her annoying. He had known her for a long time, the blond girl whose parents owned a flower shop in the city. She hung out with the pink-hair girl since forever, even when they battled each other for the affection of a certain Uchiha. She liked to nag, bitch and moan about everything, from his laziness to Chouji's stupidity to Asuma's incompetence.
He found it all so damn troublesome the way she tried to change them. What was the point of trying to change them when the three of them liked the way they were?
Stupid woman.
He found her annoying. He had met her once during the chuunin exam. He met her again during their failed mission to retrieve Sasuke. Finally she came back to Konoha after a year since the mission, part of the ally force in their war against Sound.
She tried to change him like the previous blonde. Their tactics were almost the same: the in-your-face tactic with the bitching and moaning. How tiresome.
Only instead of using sharp metal objects and the occasional fist in the face (or foot in the crotch, depending if it was that time of the month) she used her fan.
And damn it, that fan hurt.
Stupid woman.
He wondered when he started to look at her differently. Was it during the fight in the chuunin exam? Perhaps it was the bored look she'd have on her face as she watch Chouji eat with a reckless abandon. Or maybe it was because he finally hit sixteen and just liked the way she moved.
He sometimes hung out at the flower shop, bored out of his mind as customers come in to purchase flowers. Sometimes her pink-hair friend/foe would hang out with them and he would hear the two chat about the boys around town. He would watch from the corner of his eye as she twirled a strand of hair between her fingers as she giggled.
It doesn't take a genius to notice the glances she shoots at him.
She was all woman despite the fact that she was a nin. Then again, she doesn't really like to practice, unlike him and Chouji after the disastrous mission. He figures that in the end, she would rather go on working at the flower-shop than continue on as a shinobi.
Perhaps he should ask her out.
He wondered when he started to look at her differently. After she had arrived to Konoha, it seemed to be some sort of silent agreement to work together. He always saw her as an ally, even though he is still slightly wary about the Sand nins.
They usually had lunch together and he would notice how she was always alert. She could never pull down her guard, always watching out for the enemy. Then again, having a homicidal-lunatic-turn-Kazekage for a brother could probably do that to a person.
She was all woman despite the fact that she was a nin. But unlike the other, she was the type to go down fighting. She was the type that would rather kill herself than not be a nin. He rather admire that, but telling her that would be too troublesome.
Perhaps he should ask her out.
The genius is stumped for once. Before him were two choices and both equally difficult because he had finally figured out that he loves them both. Many a nights he would wake up in sweat and trying to remember whose face was in his dream. Sometimes it would be Ino, other times it would be Temari.
The first he had known for so long, he would have assumed they'd have a brother-sister relationship much like Naruto and Sakura. Instead, he sees her as someone who knew what was good for him, who can take care of what he lacked in social skills and makes sure he has kept up with his work. The second was like a comrade, someone he could depend upon during those life-and-death situations a shinobi faces during the more difficult missions. That camaraderie makes her even more appealing to him since he would much prefer to rely on those he trust in those situations.
Damn his hormones, why must it make his life so complicated? How annoying.
He chose to be with Temari in the end. While he would have liked the stability that Ino may have provided, it is Temari's passion and will to fight that captures him.
She stays at his place rather than the barracks because he offered. His mother and Temari get along just fine; his father gives him a smile from time to time to show that he approved of her. They trained together and they get better at their skills. He sports new bruises and cuts because her fan still hurts; she sports new bruises and cuts because his strategies against her keep changing. When she goes back to Suna, he would go with her. He'd meet Gaara and Kankuro's eyes without flinching, both suspicious and worried about the well-being of their sister.
Eventually they accepted him, although Gaara seems to be still concerned for Temari. He had figured out that Gaara had basically ordered Naruto to keep an eye on them, much to the blond's amusement.
He hasn't forgotten about Ino though. They continued to be friends, even though he knows she still likes him. He doesn't bring Temari with him to meet Ino though; the idea of two pushy women meeting was too troublesome for him to think about. He still buys flowers from Ino, and even though the flowers are for Temari, he would pluck out a flower and give it to Ino.
Because he knows that even though he loves Temari, he also loves Ino.
They were supposed to be married that spring. They were going to be married in Konoha because Suna was just too damn hot and, besides, it was too troublesome to go all the way to Suna for the wedding.
They were suppose to be married where he loved to watch the clouds because Temari had said that it was beautiful and would be wonderful for a small gathering of friends during the ceremony. Gaara and Kankuro would have been present, the latter giving the bride up while the former would be glaring daggers into Shikamaru's head.
His friends and teachers would have been present to witness their marriage and congratulate them for finally getting together after so many years.
But it was never meant to be in the end.
They were dying, victims of the last attack by Sound. He could tell his leg was broken as well as a few of his ribs. The gashes stung and he couldn't see anything out of his left eye.
Temari laid there to his right, her breath shallow and gurgling slightly. Her left hand gropes for his right and he reaches out to hold her hand. They looked at each other as they listened to the battle raging in the distance.
She smiles to him one last time.
He couldn't let her hand go, even as he vaguely hears Naruto trying to coax him to let go.
But he just can't let her go.
She was buried in Suna. He would have rather she be buried in Konoha, but Suna was her home.
Dressed in black, he could only stare at the coffin that held her body through his good eye as the priest droned on. He stands there, time blurring into nothingness until he is alone with Gaara, Kankuro and Naruto. He doesn't protest when Naruto coax him into going back to the place where they were staying. He looked up for the first time that day at Gaara. The words he wants to say to Gaara won't come out.
Gaara doesn't say anything, but his eyes give Shikamaru a reply.
It wasn't your fault. She would have wanted you to live.
It wasn't your fault.
Shikamaru knows that Naruto is still keeping an eye on him due to Gaara's request. He knows he wouldn't do anything stupid, but without her, it didn't seem right to continue on.
Ino stepped back into his life after three months. He had been working himself to an early grave, ignoring his parents urging to take it easy. He thinks that it was either Naruto or Chouji who finally asked Ino to step in.
She comes in and literally orders him to take a break. When he gives her a negative reply, he is instantly battered with her fists and a good kick in the groin before she proceeds to order Naruto to drag his sorry ass back home. She continues to nag and bitch and moan at him until he finally snaps back at her.
He decides it's just not worth it to argue with Ino after a meeting with his face and a frying pan.
Stupid woman. How annoying.
Slowly though, he remembers why he loved Ino. He finds himself watching the way she moved, the way her hair flowed, her smiles that were not tainted with cynicism. He knows she still looks at him; he often catches her staring at him when she thinks he can't see her. Sometimes the way she acts reminded him of Temari and then she would do something so un-Temari-like.
It reminded him that it was perhaps time to move on.
A year later, he proposes.
Shikamaru is sent to relieve Shino as ambassador for a while. He knows that Shino could use a break from the endless paperwork and putting up with Gaara.
Rather than staying at the inn like the other visiting Leaf nins, he stays with Kankuro and Gaara. There is a fourth bedroom, but he doesn't stay there. He knows that with the exception of himself, only Naruto stays in that bedroom. Instead he stays in what use to be Temari's room. Her belongings were gone and now the room was just another guestroom, but he could still feel her presence in the room.
He leaves his belongings in the room before he goes out again. He purchases a bouquet of flowers before he moves through Suna to his destination. A sad smile on his lips, he walks over to the tomb and gently caresses the stone as he set down the flowers. He stays there for some time, speaking softly to the grave of what has happened so far in his life.
In the end, he stands up and, with one last sad smile, turns around and moves on.
