Another Time, Perhaps
By mihoyonagi
Chapter IV
Aerith pressed her head against the glass window, once again staring ruefully into space. She sighed heavily as another gummy ship shot past, not too far from their own. Her mind swirled in its own stew of confusion. The glass was cool against her forehead, and though she couldn't name the reason, it was pleasing. She placed the flat of her palms next to her head and blinked slowly.
The door behind her swung open, but Aerith didn't bother to turn around- she already knew who it was. "Back for more?" Though she had attempted to make a joke, her voice sounded tired and strained.
She could almost hear Sephiroth smiling, even though it was faintly. "It's good hot cocoa. Would you like some more?"
She heard him search the cupboard for the box in which held the mix he had apparently become addicted to. Again, she sighed heavily, this time, removing herself from against the cool glass and turning to face her comrade. "That would be nice." Slowly, she walked to the couch and sat down.
"Something bothering you?" Sephiroth asked, placing the kettle on the stove like he had done the night before.
Aerith contemplated telling him what was on her mind, but there was just too much to tell. She wanted, desperately, to believe they would find Cloud, but something in the back of Aerith's mind kept nagging at her, giving her a horrible feeling. She wanted to know why she had come so close to being friends with the man in the kitchen, with eyes as bright as hers, and hair the color of the moon. She had come to terms with something while standing against the cool glass; she no longer hated him. If she would forgive him, however, was an entirely different story, but she did no longer feel deep and utter disgust toward him. Trust was another matter. Without knowing it, she had trusted him- she had boarded a gummy ship with him and flown far from her friends in search of another. And he trusted her, as well; the speech over hot cocoa the previous night was something, she was sure, that nobody else had heard before.
"I'm fine," she lied, forcing a fake smile upon her lips. "Just a little tired."
He didn't believe her- she could see it in his brilliant eyes. But he nodded all the same. "I too am tired," he confessed.
The kettle let off its high-pitched whistle, and Sephiroth began making hot chocolate. Sitting down next to her, he handed her a cup with his gloved hands, taking a sip of his own.
Knowing better from the night before, Aerith began to blow into her cup.
"Why the questions last night?" Sephiroth nonchalantly asked her between sips of hot, creamy, sweet liquid.
Aerith didn't know what to answer with. "I suppose," she began, and then hesitated. "I suppose I wish to get to know you better. We are, after all, traveling companions. At least for now."
Slowly, he nodded, but she could tell more questions were on their way. She beat him to it.
"I never knew what you were like before… You fell under Jenova's control." She shrugged, taking a small drink of her hot cocoa. "Maybe I want to get to know the real you."
That last line stung her tongue when she finished. She remembered saying that to Cloud on the gondola during their date at the Gold Saucer… 'I want to get to know the real you…'
Sephiroth inhaled deeply, letting out his breath slowly, as if he were concentrating on something very important. "Perhaps, then," he turned to face her. "I should get to know the real you."
Aerith could feel the blush that came to her face as she stared into his eyes. 'Wasn't expecting a statement like that,' she admitted, mentally.
"Tell me about your church," he tilted his head slightly, eyes glinting with interest.
"My church?" Aerith furrowed her brow slightly.
"I have heard many tales of a young woman in Midgar who could grow flowers anywhere. Surely that was you, was it not?"
Again, a rosy hue fell upon Aerith's cheeks. "My church was the only place I could escape the wickedness of the slums. Even since I was small, I knew I was different, I knew I was special, but even so…" she began to trail off. "I love flowers." Her eyes met his again. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say they love me too; they always bloom for me. It's as if they want to do their best to please me."
Sephiroth nodded in understanding, his gaze never leaving hers. "I too, from a small age, knew that I was different. However, we chose different paths. I did not always want to be in SOLDIER. I enjoyed the power for sometime, yes; I liked having fans turn their heads to stare when I passed, and I must admit that I even liked it when people would cringe at the sound of my name. But all great things come to an end, and my publicity faded. My power only increased, then…"
"You went insane…" Aerith finished in a whisper for him.
His eyes gazed deeply into hers, telling her a secret that he dare not speak aloud.
"No-" she breathed, voice barely a whisper. "You didn't go insane…"
Sephiroth sighed. "If I were to tell you that Jenova was completely in control over me, it would be a lie," he admitted, pensively. "It is true, Aerith, that I did not mean to kill you. That, alone, was Jenova. However, she may have had control over my body, but part of my own mind was still in my possession."
Aerith's hand flew over her moth and her eyes grew wide with astonishment.
"Such power is quite enticing, Aerith," he continued. "I wanted to punish all those for hurting me, for making me suffer. I wanted to have revenge. I wanted to rid the planet of the humans that caused it so much pain."
Placing pieces together in her mind, Aerith came to a realization. "That's why the planet brought you back- in reality, you had meant it no real harm. You wanted to-"
"Indeed," he finished for her. "I wanted to save the it from the pain the Shinra were causing it. And yet, at the same time, I wanted revenge. Revenge against all the humans."
"Aren't you human, then, as well?" Aerith questioned, biting her lip.
"I am not to say," he answered, almost painfully. "My parents were human, yes, but I was experimented on. No one is to say that I am no longer fully human. I wouldn't doubt that I have the cells of many different things crawling through my veins; monsters, spirits, even the blood of the Cetra, perhaps- no one can say."
Aerith fell deathly silent.
"The power of a god is very tempting, Aerith. There are very few men that could have turned down such a proposition. I was not one of them. I thought I had a good enough excuse- revenge on all those who hurt me, as well as the planet. But that wasn't reason enough. I was ignorant and selfish- I wanted to many things."
Biting her lip, Aerith fidgeted uncomfortably.
"Do you know what else I wanted, were I to become a god?"
Without knowing it, Aerith nodded.
"Can you keep a secret?"
Again, she nodded.
"Promise to tell no one?" He smiled, almost devilishly.
She waited for his secret.
"I love flowers. They are the most beautiful things ever to grace any world. They use all of their energy just to live. They aren't selfish, they cannot think, but they are so intelligent all the same. They are truly amazing.
Aerith's mouth fell open slightly. What was she meant to say to something like that?
"After my revenge against mankind was fulfilled," he continued. "I wanted to plant flowers anywhere and everywhere I possibly could. I wanted to create a beautiful world."
Slowly, Aerith let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding.
"And do you know what else I wanted, Aerith?"
She shook her head, still silent.
"I wanted to meet the young woman whose flowers could grow in the slums."
Giving him a questioning look, Aerith tilted her head slightly, asking him silently what he meant.
"I was in your church, once, Aerith. I watched you take care of the flowers you so very much loved, watering and weeding, even talking to them."
Aerith's face shone bright red. Just what was he getting at?
"I thought, perhaps, someone who loved flowers as much as I could see my new world and truly see how beautiful my vision was. I thought, perhaps, that young woman could come to love me as much as she loved her flowers."
Gasping, Aerith put her hand over her mouth, face a very deep red color.
Sephiroth shook his head. "I am sorry," he apologized, tearing his eyes from hers. "I have said too much." He stood and left the room, hanging his head low.
All Aerith knew was the fluttering of her heart in her chest, and the butterflies in her stomach.
