"This is going to be my greatest accomplishment ever," said Millms.

He strode silently towards the window and looked over the city.

"My city," he said to himself.

"Not yet," reminded Alex.

"But it will be, by tomorrow," said Millms with a smile.

"Uh…no," said Alex. "Tomorrow, we have to return that movie to the store."

"Blast!" said Millms. "I forgot."

He looked over the city again.

"As I was saying, this is going to—"

"I don't know why you just buy them," interrupted Alex.

"I keep telling you, Alexandria!" said Millms. "I'm broke, remember? I have no money!"

"Then why did you just buy ten pounds of licorice at the gift shop?"

"I told you, those are impulse items!" said Millms. "But other than that, I really am broke."

"I know, I know," muttered Alex as she leaned against the window. "Which is why you had to go to the Empire State Building to be able to look over the city menacingly instead of from some evil lair."

"Precisely," said Millms. "Anyway, this is my city!"

"Yeah, about that," said Alex. "What is the deal with you calling New York 'your city'? We're not even going after New York, we're going after that place out west, Mundelow."

"Yes…well…it's cheaper than New York."

"Everything is."

"Okay, right, now, we need to get to the train station."

"You can't afford a train."

"No, I meant the freight train station. We're going to get there in one of those hay-cars like the hobos use."

"Not many vehicles we use that hobos don't, huh?"

"Shut up," said Millms.


Mundelow, PA

"Dangeresque," said Renaldo, "we've got bad news."

"Lay it on me."

"We've learned that there's a bad guy coming down her to try to take'care' of you."

"'Old peoples home' care, or 'kill' care?"

"Second one."

"It's never the first one," muttered Dangeresque.


Meanwhile, Alex and Millms had just jumped off the freight train, and paused to look at their surroundings.

"Are you sure this is the right town?"

"Of course I am!"

"But the town's only, like, four blocks wide."

"Yes, well—"

"Cheaper."

"Cheaper, yes."

"What do you plan to do with this town?"

"Well, I plan to shut down all law enforcement here somehow, and then I can ravage the city! That is my projective! And I'm a criminal, so this is the criminal projective."

"And what will ravaging the city involve?"

"There's a CD store here, and I just need one more box set to own A COPY OF EVERY SINGLE CD ON EARTH!"

"Well, yes, except for all the others. This is the first one you're getting."

"Right. Yes. Well. CD's are expensive."

"Which is why you're robbing a CD store."

"Yes."

"Okay."


"Well, here we go!" said Millms after he had found the NASA building. "NASA! I just need to somehow shut this down, and I'll be free to ravage the city!"

"Um," said Alex, "how do you plan to do that?"

"Well, lucky I bought these scissors," said Millms. "I can just cut the power lines, and then the elevators will be stuck! And I don't see any other way of the NASA agents getting out of the building."

So he climbed up the power line pole with his scissors and snipped apart the power line.

He then fell to the ground in a smouldering heap of electrocution.

"Oww…" he muttered.


"Dangeresque!" said Renaldo as he rushed into the office. "Bad news! Someone cut the power lines! The elevators are broken! We're all trapped!"

Dangeresque put down his milkshake.

"What the?" he said. "Trapped? Aww, man! This sucks."

"That's not all," said Renaldo. "There's someone outside trying to break into the CD store!"

"Break into a place?" said Dangeresque. "Not on my watch!"

Dangeresque looked down at his wristwatch.

"Okay," he said. "No one breaking into anything on my watch. That's settled. Now, I have to make sure no one breaks into anything on the ground."

He paused and looked around. "Oh, man! I forgot!" said Dangeresque. "The stupid elevators!"

"How are you gonna get out of here?" asked Renaldo.

"Well, there's only one thing I can do," said Dangeresque. "Look's like I'm gonna have to jump!"

He hurtled himself through the window, landed b/w jumped out of the shark pond, and ran past the gate.


Millms hummed happily to himself as he walked through the aisles of the CD store looking for the Baron of the Bracelets DVD box set.

"Wake me up before you go-go! Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo! Wake me up before you go-go! I don't want to miss it when you hit that high!"

"You know," muttered Alex as she walked into the store, "the door was open. You didn't need to break in through the window."

"Yeah, well," said Millms, "I like it better the windowway. It makes me more criminal-type."

"I'm sure you do."


Dangeresque hurtled himself through the window of the CD store (which was, conveniently, already broken), landed on the floor, rolled across it to the bad guy, and took out his gun. He loaded it with a loud click.

"Whoa," said Alex. "I'm not getting my fingerprints on this crime scene. I'm out of here."

She ran out of the store.

"Anyway," said Dangeresque to Millms, "you're under arrest!"

Millms wasn't listening. He was sampling one of the CD's in the player at the desk.

"Hey!" called Dangeresque. "You!"

Millms turned around so fast that the headphone cord jerked out, swung through the air, and smacked him in the face. He fell over, his head landing right on the CD player. It proceeded to explode, which caused a surge of electricity that was strong enough to both electrocute Millms enough to send him hurtling through the window and to jumpstart the security cameras back from the power failure.

The security cameras proceeded to capture this image:

A broken into store, Dangeresque holdinga gun.

And so, before anyone had any time to ask questions, Dangeresque was thrown into jail.

"Man!" said Dangeresque. "Always me!"


Dangeresque paced back and forth in his cell.

"Man…I have got to figure out a way to get out of here," he muttered to himself.

And then he had an idea.

"That's it!" he said happily.

He punched a hole in the cardboard wall and ran out.


"What do you get when you fall in love?" sang Millms as he listened to his stolen CD, horribly mishearing the words. "You get a guy named Steve and a turtle dove...do-do-do-do-la-la-la...I'll never eat some mud again..."

Just then, he was accosted by Dangeresque.

"Freeze!" said Dangeresque.

"What the?" said Millms. "But…you were in jail!"

"Yeah, well," said Dangeresque, "the jail was just a cardboard box. Budget cutbacks."

"Yes, of course."

And so Millms was thrown in jail (they took him the next town over, since the Mundelow jail was in the shop for repairs), and Dangeresque was let free.


Numblingertownville Jail

Later that day, Millms used his one phone call to call Dangeresque and tell him to come down to visit. So…he did.

"You wanted to talk to me?" said Dangeresque when he got there.

"Yes," said Millms. "One question…why is this chapter so short?"

"Well, the author hasn't worked on this thing for two months," explained Dangeresque. "and heneeded towrite anew chapter, he needed it to have the words "the criminal projective" somewhere in it, and he needed to do it quick, since the people were getting restless, so he threw together this crap in 15 minutes."

"Oh, okay," said Millms.

"Oh, and I've got a question for you," said Dangeresque.

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you call your lawyer?"

"I can't afford one."

"No, you can't," muttered Alex.

Millms stared at her.

"I don't even know why you're in this story," he said in confusion.

"15 minutes isn't long enough to think up a point for her," explained Dangeresque.

"Oh, yes, right," said Millms.