If I were a Mary-sue
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd brush my hair
If I were a Mary-Sue
I would have all the boys
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum
If I were a biddy biddy perfect
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle girl
I have a beautiful name with syllables by the dozen
Right on the foreign student list
I'd come to Hogwarts and entrance the guys
With all the admirers plausible
The girls are green with envy
And a teachers pet as well as a prefect just for show
I'd be friends with Harry and Ron and Draco and Oliver
Flaunting them around for the school to see
And each little kiss and hug and hand holding and wink
PDAs as obvious as a tree
As if to say "there is a Mary-Sue"
If I were a Mary-sue
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd brush my hair
If I were a Mary-Sue
I would have all the boys
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum
If I were a biddy biddy perfect
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle girl
I see my self, Mary-Sue, looking pretty as can be
With proper diamond jewelry
Flirting with boys to my heart's delight
I see me putting on airs and strutting like a peacock
Oy, what a happy mood I be in
Screaming at the girls day and night
The most important officials would fawn on me
They would ask me to advise them
Like Merlin the Great
"If you please, Mary-Sue…"
"Pardon me, Mary-Sue…"
Posing problems that would cross Dumbledore's eyes
And it won't make a bit of difference if I answer right or wrong
When you're a Mary-Sue they really think you know
If I were a Mary-Sue, I have time that I lack
To sit and do my make-up
Maybe have a seat at Teacher's table
And I'd snog the hottest boys several hours of the day
That would be the sweetest thing of all
If I were a Mary-sue
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd brush my hair
If I were a Mary-Sue
I would have all the boys
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum
If I were a biddy biddy perfect
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle girl
AN: This one is based off the song "If I were a rich man" from "Fiddler on the Roof" which is a musical/movie. All I have done is changed the lyrics to fit fanfiction.
