September 14, 1991
Dear Journal,
Sorry I hadn't finished my entry the headmistress was coming. So here's what happened.
He merely stared at me...oh dear god I loved those eyes, even now 13 years before we even kissed they still make me go weak. So big bright and blue.
"Fred" he whispered confused. He knew me! He knew my name! He had his memory! He-was leaving...wait that's not suppose to happen. He wasn't suppose to get up and leave and walk away. He had merely told the others who were entering the woods. "They doubled back on us! I think they go to the Public school on the other side of our school." he merely stated.
"Wesley that school is miles away." said "The Ripper"
"I know but we all know how much they hate our guys." he lied. "Mr. Giles I think we should call the bobby's." Fred knew that meant call the cops. So she remained in the woods until they were all gone, yet before they left she locked eyes with Wesley from her hiding place. He was wearing blue and white stripped PJ's, and he looked so much younger. His hair was ruffled cause it was a bed-head, no glass's cause he didn't sleep with them, and he had no scars, which I think was really the kicker. He had that whole "innocent child" thing that made me want to hold him so bad. Yet it least I knew where he was...next door. So we had snuck back into the academy and made it just in time for the headmistress to walk by nod in approval and leave us. So I went to bed woke-up at like 5 and I'm writing in you now. So all I have to say is like WOW! What a night.
As I lie here in bed writting in you journal, I realize why I am doing all these crazy things. Why I go and hang underware by the flag pole I understand. I mean that isn't something I would normally do at 17, it's because I realized...your onl 17 once or in well my case twice. And I am not going to waste my 17'th year in in a library. I am going to live, cause I only get to live twice and I am not going to waste it again.
September 15, 1991
Dear Journal,
I think because of the whole dare incident Ami, Ashley, and I have become actually pretty good friends. Ashley would even sometimes leave her little click to have lunch with us. Sometimes. She would stand up for us when people picked on us, but she still was the most popular girl in school.
Ami and I were in the library constantly together; I still couldn't stop thinking about Wesley though. Why did he just walk away? I know he had to cover for me but I knew he could of done something to just talk to me for a bit longer. Or to it least...look at me a bit longer. But what I don't get it why, is it only us who have there memory? Why not Cordy or Gunn? I just don't understand any of this. I had another dream about him last night by the way to. It was the same as before. It's like watching a split screen. One side I see his older self-lying on the ground bleeding from his neck. Then I see his younger self-fall to the ground bleeding to death...then his older self just sort of fade into nothing. I once more awoke in a cold sweat. Oh dear god, I have to get a hold of him before it's to late.
September 16, 1991
Dear Journal,
Ok, mystery of the librarian solved and you're never ever ever ever going to believe this. The librarian was minding his own business in the back putting books away. It was the farthest from the entrance so I could get some privacy reading. Suddenly he dropped his book and hunched over holding his head and hissing in pain.
"Oh my god you ok?"
"There's a boy...in trouble...clock tower...girl she- she." suddenly he sat up. "Uuuh sorry, must of dozed off. Had a nightmare, talk in my sleep."
"Wait a minute...Doyle?" I had merely said. He turned to me wide eyed.
"How do you-"
"Angel...I'm Winfred Burkle...you have your memories to?" Doyle looked at me like a was either a present on Christmas or a bloody ghost. (I said bloody, wow spending way to much time in England)
"You worked with him after I did, didn't you? Oh my god what happened? To Angel I mean. Oh god and what happened to Cordy?" he said panicking. I sat him down next to me on the table and we talked for the rest of the day. He filled me in on everything I missed and I filled him in over he missed. Yet of course there was a giant year and a half that I couldn't give him any answers for. Yet I knew Wesley could. So I just told him, a guy who worked with Angel right after your death and worked with him till the end is next door watt the boy watchers academy.
"What's his name?"
"Wesley Wyndam Pryce." I merely stated.
"Wait? Head-boy? Are you serious? He is the biggest pansy ever!"
"Not when I met him." I said shaking my head.. "You know leading a whole rebel army sort of gets the whole Pansy image out of ones head." He nodded and we started to devise a plan to get to see him.
September 20, 1991
Dear Journal,
We got it! In two weeks see there's this giant field trip to the Watchers Council in London. Everyone goes, boys and girls. Of course they never meet. But they go the same day. So Doyle would chaperon on this trip and would help me escape. Ok lovin Doyle! He's hilarious, and everything Cordy and Angel said he was. This guy who when you entered the room could always make you smile. Yet the thing tha terrified me is that in two weeks it would be November. What is London? Big Ben, what big Ben? A giant clock? Who cares? Well Wesley gets his throat slit in my dream by a clock tower. So we'll just avoid it at all cost. Right now what to wear? My uniform duuh! God I'm so nervous, ok is my hair good-wait I'm not leaving for 2 weeks...ok but still hair check? Good."
November 5, 1991
Dear Journal,
Here's what happened yesterday.
We went to London, pretty long trip to but nothing that big. I had remained absolutely quite the entire trip. Ok scared? Yes, oh hell yes. I decided to wear my uniform, and a red fuzzy snowcap because it was cold out. I wore no make-up, cause I couldn't figure out how to put it on right because I was to nervous. Ok maybe some cover-up but only because of that zit the size of my home-town state that resided on my forehead. So we came to the clock tower first. It was eerie outside, very cloudy, and most likely going to rain. Raining in London who would of thought? (being sarcastic) So here we are in England. The headmistress tells us we have to all meet here back at 11, it's 9 O'clock right now. So everyone goes off on there own. But the thing is the guys have there own meeting spot on the other side of town. Yet Doyle happens to friends with the one they call "The Ripper" so with the help of Doyle (I got a bus fair) I rode all the way to the other side of town. Ok, maybe they didn't meet on the other side of town, maybe they met 8 blocks away but still, no girl in her school was going to roam that far because all the great shopping malls where right there. Especially with the weather. I got off at "The House of Parliament" which was still in Westminster. A giant group of boys were all looking at an older man, who suddenly I recognized.
"Rupert Giles" I merely muttered then the boys started to scatter. There were quite a few of them, ok maybe like 200 or so, so I couldn't find them. I was careful when I advanced them, yet I suddenly felt someone slap my butt and I heard a snicker a turned around and saw a bunch of boys pointing and laughing at me. Then I felt someone else slap my butt and turned around to see another group. Feeling my face go beat red I continued looking for Wesley. Then I felt someone grab me by the arm.
"Hello love miss me?" it was that perverted Collins guy who invited me and the others in after we hung there underwear by the flagpole,
"Let go of me." I merely cried, yet no one would help. All the guys just snickered and laughed.
"Sorry love can't do that. I think it's because you owe me something." and his hands went under my skirt. Using my free hand I punched him hard in the face. He backed away and looked at me in the shock before backhanding me in the face sending me to the ground. "Now stay still love." he grinned walking over to me, he was about to strike me again, only for some one to come in, block his punch and hit him square in the face and the gut sending him to the ground.
"Back off Collins." said Wesley
"Holy crap! Did Pansy Percy just hit Collins?" someone from the crowd of boys said. He walked over to me and helped me up.
"You ok?" he merely asked. I was honest and shook my head no. "Come on lets get out of here." and with that he held me by my elbow and helped me to get out of the crowd, and I was limping because when I fell I sprained my ankle or something.
He took me onto a bus, and to Big Ben, which I wasn't so worried because in my dream it was night time. Then he showed me something, it was a sort of door, yet one could barely see it. And if one did they'd probably think it was one of those doors that only the staff that showed tourist around the tower could go through. Yet he went in it with ease. Down the stairs we walked, my arm around his neck because of my limp and into what must of been an old abandon subway station. Then he took me into one of the old abandon trains as well. When I entered I understood why he brought me here. He had moved the seats leaving an empty cart, and books where sprawled everywhere, a sleeping bag, notes, and everything that screamed Wesley, including a shotgun that hung on the wall.
"What is this place?" I whispered.
"I get to come to London a lot work for the council as a sort of Intern. When I'm not there I'm here." he merely said and grabbed me by the hips and proppered me up on a side table. I forgotten how much taller he was then me as I watched him walk away to a small fridge that resided right night to me. He opened it and then did something odd. Taking his sleeve he ripped it. I gasped and he looked at me and chuckled as he placed some of the ice cubs in it and made a sort of sack and then placed it on my red face from the slap. I took this as a chance to finally talk to him.
"How long have you had your memory?"
"Since I turned 17."
"Same...that means Cordy and Gunn won't have there memory for a while."
"What about Angel? Did he get his memories when he was 17? Surely if he did he would of been turned and avoided all Gypsy's."
"Yeh but how is that no ones heard from him in the last 100 years? He must have a soul." I replied.
"True" he nodded. His accent was so much more thicker. "So are you going to tell me why you put my undergarments up on the flag pole?"
"Those were your boxers?" I said in disbelief and blushed.
"When I turned 17, I went out and decided to do something extremely British. What did you do when you got your memory back?"
"Went to LA. Charles doesn't have his memory, then I locked myself into a library basically." I replied.
"Yes, well I guess we all have our own ways of panic-"
"I've missed you." I merely said, I couldn't keep it in any longer. He dropped the ice and turned away.
"I've been going research, Uuuh" he sounded really nervous. "I think I might be on to something, I've recently translated a prophecy-"
"Have you missed me?" I merely asked. He merely sighed and ran his fingers through his hair and took off his glass's placing them on another tiny little table that sort of pops out of the walls. His back was still to me.
"Every damm second." he said intensely.
"Then why did you walk away?"
"I don't know." he replied.
"Yeh fine well, what were you saying about a prophecy?" I said yet I couldn't help but make a little sniffle sound, and I was trying so hard not to cry.
"Fred please don-"
"Wesley, we have to work now." I said sniffling once again wiping my eyes before I bawled. So we went to work. We had worked all day, and I told him about my dream he got weird.
"So you saw me, older on the ground my throat slit. It was right after you cam back from Pylea because of my hair?"
"Yeh which is weird cause it never happened. And Yeh, it was long and curly. Plus you didn't wear pansy cloths. So Yeh" I shrugged. Suddenly I stopped and noticing something. I have always been able to read Wesley better then most. His eyes turned to ice...he was hiding something. Then it clicked. "Oh my god...you did get your throat cut...why-how?"
"Fred that doesn't matter. What matters is I must stay away from Big Ben at all cost."
"Yeh, well I guess I should stay away to, cause ya know if I hang around long enough I might actually figure out what you aren't telling me." and I left him clearly mad.
So I went to the Buckingham Palace, went to the watchers council, went to the hotel where we were staying, slept, woke-up and then I decided to write in you. So Yeh Journal, Wesley broke my heart, and has been keeping a secret from me for about 2 years.
