A/N: here's an update. Thanks to all my reviewers. When you here something like 'your story is great' or 'I love this story', it kinda makes you want to write more so that you please your audience. At least that's how I see it.

Disclaimer: see other chapters

Distribution: go ahead, but ask first

Spoilers: I guess you could say a little bit for Killer In Me. I had to do that because it was the only way for Riley bashing to happen. I really LOVE Riley bashing.

Chapter 8:

It was six-thirty in the morning. The sun was up and Buffy was lying on her bed, watching Spike sleep. He had finally found a restful sleep at close to one in the morning. He had been shaking and going through bad things all night. Buffy would calm him down when he went through these stages. There had been no conversation between them save for Buffy whispering nice words to calm him down.

Now it was six-thirty in the morning. Buffy hadn't eaten since the hot dog from the gas station and was extremely hungry. She wasn't sure if it was safe to leave him alone yet. She didn't want him to be scared and her not be there to comfort him. She decided that she would just wait until he woke up. Besides it was very comfortable where she was.

That was another thing that confused Buffy. She was totally content with being around Spike. Everything else seemed harder when she wasn't around him. He helped her. So what did it mean?

It means that you care for him a lot. The annoying little voice in the back of Buffy's head screamed.

Yes I do care about him but that doesn't mean that I love him or anything like that. He's a valuable person in my life. He knows my feelings even when I don't tell him what the are. He's a good. friend?

Buffy thought that friend wasn't the right word. They had history together. Could he ever just be her friend? Buffy remembered what he had said when he came back that one time and kidnapped Willow to try and get Dru back.

He had said that people in love could never just be friends. Buffy thought that she didn't love him and knew that she could be his friend, but could he ever really be hers. He loved her so much, that much Buffy had learned to accept. He would want more.

Wouldn't you want more? Don't you think you do want more? From him. Don't you think that maybe just maybe you do love him? There was that annoying voice again. It was getting harder to silence as time went by.

No I don't love him. Love is about being happy all the time. When I was with him I was happy and when I wasn't I was miserable. When you're in love you're happy all the time and not just every once in a while. That's love and that wasn't how it was. Buffy thought. She tried to push that annoying voice back, but it was still coming in loud in clear.

Right that's what love is about. Sure you're happy all the time, but people who are in love are miserable when they aren't around the other person. Hello does that sound like someone you know. And besides you were making yourself miserable by not being around him and not letting yourself admit the truth. Really the only reason you were miserable was because you wanted to be. It was funny how that voice could sound so much like Dawn or Anya. Buffy was about to arguing with herself some more when she heard a low groan. She liked down to see Spike stirring.

"Spike are you waking up?" She asked softly.

"Hum," was the reaction she got from Spike. He turned over to lie on his back and slowly opened his eyes.

"Buffy?" Spike said. He wasn't sure if all of that had been a dream and he was still lost somewhere in England.

"Yeah Spike I'm here." Spike lifted his hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"Oh." Spike said when he finally managed to open his eyes all the way.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"No 'm fine. What time is it?" Spike asked.

"Around six in the morning."

"'S still early. Did you eat?"

"No I stayed with you the whole time."

"You should eat somethin. You must be hungry."

"A little." Buffy said.

"Go to the kitchen and eat somethin'."

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah can you bring me some more blood?" Spike asked.

"Sure just give me a few minutes." Buffy got off of the bed and walked out of her room.

It wasn't as quiet as Buffy thought it would be. Of course she knew that Dawn would be running around trying to get ready for school, but Giles, Anya, and Xander were up and doing research.

"Buffy you're up." Giles said. They had only seen her once since they got back and that was when she told them she was going to bed.

"Yeah got hungry and Spike wanted some blood." Buffy said. She picked up a jelly filled donut from the dozen that was sitting on the table.

"How's he doing?" Anya asked.

"Better during the day. Had some pretty scary 'nightmares' last night."

"We know. We heard him screaming. Sounded like someone was torturing him." Xander said. There was one time during last night were Spike was screaming and begging for it to stop. It had to be the scariest thing that Xander had heard and he had felt sorry for Spike. "Yeah it's pretty bad. I just hope that he can get through this." Buffy said picking up another donut.

"He will with time. He just has to get used to being around other people that will help him. It is going to take some time, but eventually he'll get through it." Giles said.

"Where's Dawn?" Buffy said with a mouthful of donut. She had poured herself a glass of milk and was eating away.

"She's up stairs getting ready to go to school." Anya said.

"That's good. I should write her a note. Something like please excuse Dawn Summers from school yesterday because she was sick." Buffy said.

"Yes because going the truth would only make the school think that you're crazy." Xander said. Buffy gave him a nod and then started to walk away.

Buffy walked into the kitchen and got another packet of blood from the freezer. She had learned from the time that Spike was living with Giles how to handle blood. He liked it warm so Buffy stuck the packet in the microwave for two minutes. After the two minutes were up she poured the blood into a mug and grabbed one of those crazy straws.

She took her donut, glass of milk and Spike's mug of blood upstairs and into her room. She was about to go inside when she heard to voices talking and laughing about something. It was Dawn and Spike. Buffy would have barged in, but she wanted to hear what they were talking about. She opened the door a little and listened in on their conversation.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - -

Spike lay on the bed waiting for Buffy to come back. He could hear her talking to the rest of the gang and the topic of discussion seemed to be him. Usually he would have been furious that they were talking about him like a science project, but the 'nature of his soul' wasn't allowing him to get upset. He had to be hospitable and cordial. He should be glad that someone gave a hoot about him, especially the girl that he was in love with. So here he was again.

Conflicted between the man that he was and the man that he turned out to be. Both were him, but how could they ever co-exist. They were totally different from each other. One was totally gentleman like and truly Victorian. That's what he was before becoming a vampire. A sappy sentimental guy who was courtesy and stuffy. Totally British for those times that he lived in. Spike had to admit that he liked the romantic that he was and still was on occasion. There were some qualities of William that he couldn't just shake off.

The other side of him was cocky and confident. He was a guy who was totally self-assured about everything and almost never let his guard down. Somewhere in the middle of things he had changed a little. He had always cared for others. For example just look at the way he was with Drusilla. He had been someone who did whatever the hell he pleased. Sure when he realized his feelings for Buffy he was a little more opened and less like his old self.

For one he didn't kill people and he didn't care how many times Harris said that was because of the chip. He had tons of chances to kill Buffy and he didn't he loved her too much. He had never changed his confident attitude though. He knew what he wanted and he got it. He liked that guy who was so self-assured about everything. That looked at the mug of blood as half full instead of half empty.

Sure William had a positive outlook on life, but he was a coward. A sniffling poof who believed in all things were good and didn't like to hear about bad things in the world. That was two different kinds of optimism. Spike knew what the world was about, but took what he could get from it. He didn't dilute himself by thinking that things were okay when they weren't he fought hard to keep what he had. William was delusional. Completely hopeless and blind to the ways of the world.

He thought that everything was a walk in the park and why shouldn't he? He was rich. A spoiled rich kid who was a momma's boy. Why would he have to think about things like that? So his dilemma dragged on. Which side was better was still the question that rang in his head. How was he going to be both at the same time? Did he want to be both at the same time?

"Spike" said a voice to the right of him. Spike looked up to see Dawn looking straight at him.

"Hey, Nibblet." Spike said. She had a mixture of feelings on her face. The main one was happiness, but concern, worry, and confusion were there as well.

"So how are you feeling? Where's Buffy?" Dawn said. Spike could see that she was holding back the jumping for joy and the questions. Of course there would be lots of those and he would be happy to answer most.

" Buffy's gettin' me some blood. 'M all right Dawnie. You don't have to jus' sit there and be all nursemaid. You can be happy." Spike said. He saw a wave of relief wash over Dawn's face.

"Good because unlike those melancholy people downstairs I think that it's great that you're back." Dawn said hugging Spike.

"Now I hope you know that you opened up a whole can of worms by saying I could be gleeful. Questions will come of this." Dawn said.

"Ask away."

"Now I know that you have a soul now. That was what the whole quest thing was about right?"

"Yes, got the soul." "Do you feel different?"

"'M I s'posed ta feel different?"

"I don't know maybe. Come on you don't feel all liberal or something like that?"

"Jus' got a huge headache. And a bit confused. Playin the whole mind debate. Should I be this should I be that. Stuff like that."

"Oh so you're not sure whether to stay Spike or turn all William-y." Dawn said.

"Sorta like that I guess. Tryin' ta find a way ta be both."

"I think that would be perfect. A mixture of the two. You know like someone whose mean and aggressive when he has to be, but all teddy bearish when he doesn't have to be."

"So now 'm a teddy bear?"

"Face it Spike you've always been a big teddy bear."

"Maybe you're right."

"So what do you want to be called? Should we stick with Spike or do you want to be called William? Or maybe Will."

"Spike'll do jus' fine. Not s'actly William so I figure stick wif the name Spike. Like it anyways." "Okay so we stick with Spike. So do you remember anything about yourself before you were a vampire?" "No, right now 's only the showin' my crimes portion of the soul gettin'."

"Yeah well I figured that much what with the screaming last night."

"Sorry bout that."

"No it's okay. You were in pain. Although having your soul will be great. Now you can be happy."

"Didn't think being tortured was happy." Spike said sarcastically. Dawn giggled.

"No silly now you and Buffy can really be together." Spike was silent.

"Bit I don't know if that could ever happen."

"Why not? I know that she really cares about you. She's just denying that she loves you because she thinks it's wrong. Now she ran out of excuse."

"Look, Dawn, 've never hurt your sis, but I know her. She jus' doesn't change overnight."

"It's not an overnight thing. She was miserable without you here. She wanted you here."

"Yeah maybe. Maybe this soul thin' will help. Maybe we'll be in love an' thins'll be great. If she never loves me the way I love her that'll be fine. Not gonna push her. I don't think I can anymore. What with the soul an' all. Jus' being wif her is enough. Aven't s'actly given up on the hopes that we'll be together, but the whole picture of us with a nice house and a dog named Skip wif a picket fence innit s'actly in my head anymore. Sides not one for picket anyway. Too dangerous." Dawn laughed. Spike just loved it when Dawn laughed. She hadn't done a lot of that since Joyce died and it was Spike's pleasure to make her laugh.

Damn it what is wif these Summers women. A bloke startin' to sound like a poof. Spike thought.

"All right I better go. Xander is taking me to school. Hopefully Buffy wrote a note." Dawn said.

"School already?" Spike asked. He looked over at the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was close to seven.

"Yeah school starts at seven thirty. Murder to anyone. It's too early in the morning to do math."

"Well it is useful."

"Please when I'm I ever going to use the square root of x?"

"If you plan on going to college. Trust me it doesn't get any easier."

"Aren't you supposed to say it gets easier?"

"And lie to you? I know that you'd be to smart and see right through it."

"You're right about that one. For an evil guy you aren't a very good liar."

"Aven't been since I was infected wif you Summers women."

"All right well I'll see you later."

"'Ave a good day at school, Nibblet."

"Thanks, bye." Dawn walked outside of the room. She saw Buffy coming up the stairs.

"Take forever to get blood why don't you?" Dawn said.

"You talked to Spike?" Buffy lied as best as she could. She had stood and heard most of their conversation.

"Yeah we did. How long did you think I would wait to talk to him? Went there first chance I got."

"Well you should go. It's close to seven and you have to get to school."

"I'm going, I'm going. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Have a good day."

"You too." Dawn said as she walked down the stairs.

Buffy cautiously walked inside her room. She was trying not to spill the blood. Spike saw that her hands were full and got up to help her. He took his blood and sat down on the bed again.

"So you eat Slayer. Lookin' a lil' skinny." Spike said.

"This coming from the guy who could give Ally McBeal a run for her money." Buffy said.

"I had reasons. Chip an' Soul prevent me from eatin' and I was a bloody mess."

"Well that isn't going to happen on my watch. You'll get healthy and muscular again in no time."

"Yeah physically 'll be all right, but mentally 'll be as unbalanced as Dru."

"You're getting better."

"Did you hear me las' night. Thas not better."

"Is it worse?"

"A lil' bit. At firs', but then it got less bad."

"See improvement."

"Slight I guess. Think 's all the people around here. Not used ta being around people yet."

"We're here to help."

"Yeah I know. 'S jus' you're not so much helpin' as hurtin'."

"Even me?" Buffy asked. She had a slightly hurt look on her face.

"No you help, but you hurt to sometimes. 'S jus' a thin'. See whenever I look at you I wonder 'Why would someone like her want ta be around me?' killed slayers and thought nothin' of it. Then there's that whole 'I love you, but you shouldn't be so close thin'. All part of the William package I guess. See the 'nature of my soul' is sayin' 'you love this woman, but you should wait and make thins' proper' while Spike is sayin' 'who cares 'bout propriety? If she offers you any part of her life take it.' 'M in a state of confusion of which one ta listen ta. Then there's the other thin' that you don't know bout William. an' never will." Spike had a horrified look on his face when he almost let his secret slip.

No she definitely shouldn't know that one. Keeping that one wif me till I die.

Buffy looked at him with a suspicious look on her face. "Okay so I get the whole thing with the nature of your soul, but it's not like we can't work together." Buffy said.

They hadn't talked about any sort of relationship. Buffy wanted to, but after hearing his conversation with Dawn and his new soul that was messing things up a little too much then Buffy thought, she decided to wait. Spike let out a sigh.

"Thas another thin'. William never liked violence and doesn't like it at all."

"So you're saying fighting isn't in the nature of your soul?"

"S'actly. Like I said I don't know how to sort it all out and it hurts my head ta think bout it too much." Spike said rubbing his head.

Buffy put her food down and went over to him. He looked tired. Like he had been turned at forty. He looked older. Buffy put her hand on his and that stopped the rubbing.

"Everything will reveal itself soon." Buffy said as she caressed his hand. Their faces were merely inches apart. Spike wanted to kiss her. He wanted to take her and make love to her. It had been so long since they had done that. He had cherished the last time they had made love and kept it in his mind. It was motivation to come back with the soul.

Buffy desperately wanted him to kiss her. She loved it when he kissed her. Everything about him made her want him. She had always wanted him. Ever since the first time they had had sex she had craved him. She would say that she didn't, but that was a lie. He was under her skin and in her blood. He knew just what to do to make her feel good. When he touched her, her body would hum. She always had that insatiable desire for him. It had been such a long time since she felt him on top of her. Since she felt his touch. She craved that almost as much as she craved his mere presence.

It was all she wanted. He made her feel something when she was with him. Even when they were just talking and being friendly. They had been that before the sex got involved. Sure friend was too strong a word, but they talked. She enjoyed his company. He always seemed able to understand her when her friends couldn't. There was something about the way he treated her that made her feel wanted. Her friends needed her, but he wanted her and needed her. There was a huge difference between them. Her friends needed protection. They needed the things that she could offer them. Of course they had missed her, but people move on.

They could say that they wanted her back, but if she was just a person then they wouldn't. They needed her. Spike didn't need her in that way. He needed her because it hurt him to live without her.

Spike felt Buffy move her hand to his face. She was making it hard for him not to kiss her. He wasn't sure what he wanted and wasn't sure what she wanted. They hadn't discussed any possibilities. Spike looked into her eyes and saw that she wanted him. He could tell that she wanted him. Before either knew what was happening they were leaning closer to each other until their lips met. It was a shy kiss; more like one that was asking if it was okay. It was as if they were doing this for the first time. Of course Buffy and Spike had done this millions of times before and it never stayed shy.

Soon the kiss was becoming deeper and more passionate. Buffy took the lead because Spike seemed too tired to do anything more then kiss her back. Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike's neck and Spike's hands fell limply on Buffy's hips. It wasn't long before Buffy had Spike pinned to the bed with her straddling him. Spike knew what was going on and something in his head was screaming for him to stop. Again the nature of his soul was telling him to stop and that this was wrong. Maybe it was a little of something else as well. It was like falling back into the same pattern that he had worked so hard to try and get rid of.

Spike regretfully tore his lips away from Buffy's.

"What's the matter?" Buffy said with concern in her voice and in her eyes. She so wanted this to happen. She just wanted to forget everything for a few moments and being with Spike was the only way she knew how to do that. She wanted to make him feel better too. Make him forget everything for a few moments in time.

"I can't.we can't.'s not." Spike was lost for words. What could he say that wouldn't make her mad or hurt? "'S jus' that. well wif the nature of my soul and all that rot. there's jus'." Spike rubbed his head. He was never good with words.

"Hey don't hurt yourself thinking of the right words to say. I get it. You're not ready for this yet."

"Yeah you're not mad right?"

"No I'm not mad Spike. I understand."

"'S jus' that it feels like old patterns and such. 'Aven't really discussed anythin' and I think we should. You know stuff from the past? Then there's good ole William tellin' me not to do this."

"We don't have to take it so fast. I understand your need to make things right. And talking is good. Things from the past are so sordid and bad. Like you said fresh start."

"Right."

"Well now's a good as time as any."

"You really want it?"

"Yes I do. I care about you a lot Spike. You make me feel. you make me feel period. I know that now things can be different."

"So were do we start?"

Buffy thought for a moment. Where do they start? Is there anything to work on like a foundation or should they throw it all away and start anew?

"I don't know. Do we have a foundation?"

"Sure we were sorta friends before sex go involved. Let's start from the beginning."

"How far in the beginning are we talking? Like starting of as friends?"

"That could take too long and I was never known for my patients and Spike and as William."

"So what are we starting from?"

"I guess it's like dating although I never really dated."

"You mean like getting to know one another first. Learning all the details."

"Yeah I guess thas it."

"Okay then. Hi my name is Buffy Anne Summers. Very pleased to meet you."

"Nice ta meet you too. Name's William or Spike."

"No last name?"

"Not right now."

"Oh I see a man of mystery."

"Yeah thas me. 'M full 'f surprises."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So tell us how you got your soul?" Anya asked. The questions had started right away.

Spike and Buffy had stayed upstairs for a little while just talking about Spike's soul. She had asked him how he got it and what he had to do to get it. That was a start to their relationship. No matter how much the other wanted to they didn't kiss after that. They were trying to start a new relationship. They had gone downstairs to help with the research.

Spike was still a little shaky around other people, but was learning to control it better. They had put up heavy curtains to keep the sun out which was a good thing because Spike didn't think he could handle the brightness. They had been researching for an hour before Anya asked that question. Everyone looked at her with stares saying that was a little rude.

"What we're all wondering it. This researching isn't helping any and it's boring. Besides as a vengeance demon I can see your soul. It's very bright." Anya said.

"'Ll take that as a complement." Spike said.

"Anya I don't think that we should intrude so much. Let Spike tell us on his own time." Giles said.

"Oh come on Giles you know that you're dying to know. I bet you Watchers eat this stuff up. Mystical forces at work and all." Xander said.

"Xander we should respect Spike's privacy and let him tell us when he wants." Buffy said.

"Oh Buffy 'll spill. I know that they all wanna hear it." Spike said.

"Well it would be kind of interesting to know how." Giles said.

"Are you sure that you want to tell? You can wait to be drilled you know." Buffy said. She didn't want Spike to feel overwhelmed.

"'S totally fine. Nice to talk 'bout thins' then not talk 'bout them. So what s'actly do you want to know?"

"Just the basic how did you get it?" Anya said.

"Well I had heard that there was this shaman that granted wishes ta people who passed these trials. Lived in Africa so I went there. Took me a while ta find the bloke, but when I did he had a line 'f people who wanted somethin. I waited and eventually it was my turn. Asked for the soul and he put me through a whole bunch 'f tests. I passed and he gave me my soul."

"What kind of trials did he put you through?" Giles asked.

"Basically physically trials. There was this big bloke who had fire coming outta his hands and I had ta kill 'im. Bugs that went in your body and ya had ta fight 'em off. Big demons I hadta kill. Stuff like that."

"What did he look like. The shaman I mean. Was he big and wearing a cloak?" Xander asked. Spike raised his eyebrow in a questioning stare.

"Sorry that's just how I imagine shaman." Xander said.

"Didn't get a good look at the bloke."

"Why did you do it?" Giles said. Spike was quiet for a moment.

"Well Watcher it was for a lady."

Giles's thoughts were confirmed. "I thought so."

Everyone gave a knowing nod and Buffy gave Spike a smile.

"So any more questions?"

"Do you feel different? Glowy or anything like that?" Anya asked.

"No not really. I do feel a lil' shitty, but thas cause I didn't eat. Other then that a little confused 'bout thins'. You know tryin' to act like me, but havin' my soul interfering."

"Well I think that that is all the questions. Going to look up this shaman that you're referring to. Should be useful." Giles said.

"So tell me 'bout this situation we got here." Spike asked.

"Well it all started when Tara died." Xander said. He was quiet before going on. "She went crazy with magic and then. well she started this big gang of witches and stuff. She's been terrorizing the town for a while now."

"So 's all humans?" Spike asked.

"Yeah pretty much all misguided witches that fell under her spell. After she killed Rack by taking his powers his crowd followed her. She took over a local coven and has two Seers under her power. That's why it's so hard to do things without her knowing." Anya said.

"Huh? Then how will I be able to help?" Spike said rubbing his head. He was used to headaches nowadays.

"Well we never thought of that. If there was some prophecy that pertained to you, you have to do something that will help." Giles said.

"Yeah I guess so. 'S jus'." Spike's head felt like it was going to explode. His headaches were always big like this.

"Spike are you okay?" Buffy's said not bothering to hide the concern in her voice.

"Yeah 's jus' 'm gettin' a headache." Spike said.

"Why don't you go lie down?"

"I don't think I can walk. 'Ll jus' sit here and wait for it to pass." Spike said. Spike felt dizzy and lightheaded. Usually he was able to shake these headaches off but this one was to powerful.

"Giles is there any reason why he would be having such a powerful headache?" Buffy asked.

"Well yes he isn't used to his soul. His head isn't used to the confusion." Giles said. Truth be told he didn't think that was true, but Buffy was a little too worried.

"Don't think thas it mate. Feels like 'm being shocked with the chip." Spike said realizing it for the first time.

"Could the chip be malfunctioning?" Anya said.

"Well it's very likely that it is. We'll check into this and see what's going on." Giles said.

"We have Riley's e-mail address. We could write to him asking if he and his initiative friends could check on Spike's chip." Anya said.

"It's worth a try." Giles said. Spike sat silently in his chair trying to make the pain go away.

"Can you guys keep looking through the research? I'm going to take Spike upstairs." Buffy said.

"Okay," was the unison answer.

"Come on let's go." Buffy said as she picked up Spike again. It was getting so Spike didn't have to walk anymore.

Buffy carried Spike up the stairs and into her room. She placed him on the bed. He was trying to hide the pain that he felt and Buffy could see it.

"Hey you don't have to hide the fact that you're in pain." Buffy said as she lay down on the bed next to him.

"It really does hurt, but it should pass."

"Here does this feel better?" Buffy said as she rubbed his head.

"A little." Spike said as he closed his eyes and tried to focus only on Buffy's hands on his head.

"How about this?" Buffy said placing light kisses on Spike's forehead.

"Um." Spike said. The pain was still there, but for some reason it had lessened.

"We're going to get to the bottom of this you know that right."

"Yeah you should go downstairs. Help with the research and all that rot. Red's still on the lose."

"Something's more important to me." Buffy said.

"Really I wonder what that could be." Spike said. Good he's joking.

That means that things are going to be okay.

"You silly. How's the pain now?"

"Subsiding. Guess the chip's gonna be the end me like I thought."

"Don't say that."

"Luv, it was only a joke."

"Yeah but it was a bad one." Buffy said angrily.

"Pet are you okay?"

"Hey that's my question."

"Are you?"

"Yeah I'm fine why?"

"Because I told a joke and you got all defensive."

"It wasn't funny."

"But you didn't havta get all mad 'bout it."

Buffy wasn't sure why she had gotten so upset. "You aren't gonna die."

"I know that Buffy. It was a joke."

"Yeah but the chip isn't going to be the end of you so don't say that."

"Why are you so upset 'bout it."

"I don't know. I have that whole separation issue thing. I just don't want you to go anywhere."

"'M not gonna go anywhere. Don't think I could walk after one of those headaches."

"Promise me."

"Promise you what, pet."

"Promise me that you aren't going to leave me again."

"Leave after 've gotten everythin' that 've always wanted. Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. Just say that you won't."

"I won't leave you. That better."

"Yeah better." Buffy said as she curled closer to Spike. Why she was being so emotional she didn't know. She just didn't want Spike to leave her again.

"Good now let's take a nap." Buffy said.

"You tired?"

"A little, but you look tired. You need to get your rest and get better looking."

"Looks matter that much to you?"

"No but I'd like to make other people jealous. You know girls and stuff. Let them see that I got a good looking, sexy, smart guy and they don't."

"Well let's hope you get the chance to do those things."

"Spike."

"Sorry forgot that you had issues."

"You make it sound bad."

"Sorry."

"Spike if we're gonna make this work and I want to make this work then I'll just have to learn to except your faults."

"You aren't perfect you know."

"I'm not?" Buffy said with her lips in a pout.

"Oh bloody hell woman of course you're perfect."

"You aren't bad yourself. Now sleep."

"Whatever you say." Spike said.

He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Buffy watched him for a little while. She really wanted to make this one work. She had to. She really cared about Spike a lot. More then she had admitted. Spike was different from Riley and Angel. Angel had wanted to make her into the perfect slayer. It seemed that slaying was all they had in common. He had treated her a little like a kid and not an adult. Riley had wanted her to be a plain Jane. He didn't want her to be the slayer.

He couldn't stand it that she was stronger then him, which Buffy found a little chauvinistic. Spike loved all of her. The Buffy side and the slayer side. They were both important to him. He loved her and that's what Buffy needed. Buffy cuddled closer to Spike and closed her eyes. This was perfect. Being next to Spike and watching him sleep. She drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.