After finishing three pages of the next installment of her co-authored fanfic, Typo leaned back her computer chair with a satisfied smile. That was enough for tonight. Reaching out a hand, she grasped the mouse. Mere centimeters from the File icon, the cursor froze. Desperately, Typo mashed appleS several times but to no avail. Letting out a heart-wrenching sob, the girl was forced to restart her computer.

And that's what really happened.

An Idiot's Guide to Self-Insertion

Chapter 3 - The Larnian Hee-whatsit Effect

So, can I type now?

Well…. This keyboard IS really getting on my nerves…

Psh. You're just jealous of my weird and warped keyboard.

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine break……

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"So," Mary Sue said, clapping her hands. "Bishie choosing time!"

The Yu Yu Hakusho characters stared blankly at her. Typo flashed a clueless smile, and Beagle, the only one still on the ground, sighed and announced, "I hate watermelon."

Sue, oblivious to everyone's feelings, forcefully pushed Kuwabara aside and latched onto a certain demon's arm. "I call Kurama!!"

"WHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTT???" Beagle squawked, leaping to her feet. Typo glared at her friend indignity.

"Now, see here Sue, it's simply not fair for you to--"

"You snooze you loose." Mary Sue stuck out her tongue.

"YOU only like him because WE think he's hot!" Beagle accused.

"So?"

"I introduced you guys to the show, I should get first dibs!" Typo stomped her foot.

"You only knew about it first because you're the only one with cable," Sue snapped back.

"I found out about it BEFORE we got cable, back before YOU got YOURS cancelled!"

"I LOVE HIM MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Both girls glared at Beagle.

"No you don't!!!"

"I called him first!"

"I can actually reach the top of his head."

"I know the most about him."

"That's just creepy at the beginning of a relationship, Typo."

"So???"

"Excuse me," Kurama politely interrupted the fangirls' argument, staring down at Sue. "Could you please get off of me…?"

All three girls stared at him. "Who do YOU like best?" they chorused.

"Well…. I, um…" The bishonen sighed. And he thought the girls at his school were bad… He went through a mental evaluation of the "long lost acquaintances."

The one cutting off the circulation in his arm, Sue, seemed to be violent, forceful, and image-conscious. The tallest one, Beagle, had somehow made Yusuke momentarily switch to Shakespearean English (those authoress powers they spoke of?) and seemed just as willing as Sue to glomp him to death. And the last girl, Typo, was just… out there. None of them really seemed better than the others, and he had no intention of "getting to know" the three loons.

"Well," He pulled Sue from his arm. "What was it that Yusuke said? 'I pray thee, do not fall in love with me for I like you not.'"

"Good one," Kuwabara said with a laugh.

Beagle rolled her eyes, "It doesn't go like that; it's, 'I pray thee, do not fall in love with me for I am falser than--' Wait, WHAT?"

"Y-you mean," tears welled in Sue eyes, "you don't LIKE me?"

"That wasn't very nice…" Typo reprimanded.

Kurama inched away from the sobbing girl at his side. "Yusuke, isn't there something we need to do? Perhaps... in another city?"

"It would be nice to get away from these overly emotional females," Hiei added, eyeing the stunned look on Beagle's face… which brought to mind a dying fish.

"Botan did mention something about an evil, sadistic demon planning to attack Tokyo Tower at five," Yusuke commented as the Reikai Tantei (and Keiko) left the clearing.

"That didn't go so well," said Typo thoughtfully when they were out of view.

"What just happened?!" Beagle yelled, grabbing the brunette be the shoulders and shaking. "Typo, what just happened???"

"Kuuuraamaa-aaa-aaa-aaaah," Sue sobbed.

"Well," Typo went on after Beagle had stopped shaking her. "Kurama basically just brushed us off and told us he thought we were annoying." There was a pause. "He doesn't LIKE us?!" the girl wailed, falling to her knees at this sudden realization. "How can he NOT like US???"

Typo, WTF are you DOING??? WHY ARE THEY LEAVING US?????

Well... well that's what a bunch of superheroes would do if they were being stalked by girls they didn't like!!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S WHAT THEY WOULD DO???

I guess they could just be a LITTLE OOC...

Well not if you want it to WORK! Here, move.

Suddenly regaining her composure, Mary Sue's keen brown eyes snapped back into focus. She wiped the tears from her face with her jacket sleeve and turned to her friends with a determined expression. "We will get him back."

"H-how?" Typo sniffed.

"Let's see…" Cupping her hand around her chin, Mary Sue began to stroke an imaginary beard. "The dimwit said something about going to Tokyo Tower at five."

"Doesn't Genkai call him boke in the Japanese version of the show?" Typo asked, the same clueless smile playing across her face as she momentarily forgot their current predicament.

"So we know where they'll be… how do we get them to notice us?" Beagle pondered out loud.

"That'll be easy, but we want them to like us," Sue answered.

"'Cause I read in the back of an Excel Saga manga, on the cultural notes…"

"Ya know, a common ploy in mary sue fics," Beagle continued, "is to play 'damsel in distress.'"

Mary Sue grinned. "Bishies ALWAYS fall for the girl with quadruple S-class power who can't defend herself from a common mugger."

"…there's a certain type of humor generally used in the Kansai region, boke and tsukkomi…"

"Exactly. Which is why we should hire some random guy to pretend to attack us in Kurama's presence!"

"BRILLIANT!! …But we don't have any money."

"…the boke says something completely insane or stupid, and the tsukkomi points out the idiocy of it…"

"Maybe one of us could feign a suicide attempt."

"…and while I was watching Yu Yu Hakusho I noticed that that's what Genkai…"

"This isn't a angst fic, Beagle. And I am NOT acting depressed just to get attention."

"…was calling Yusuke. But who knows?"

"Yeah, I hate it when people do that."

"Maybe she was saying something else."

"Typo, SHUT UP!!" both Beagle and Mary Sue yelled, the latter grabbing the girl's ponytail and yanking as hard as she could.

"I'm sorry…" Typo sniffled from behind waterfall tears.

"Also," Beagle said, "we should come up with a nonviolent and decisive way to determine who gets to stalk who… obviously, we can't all have Kurama."

"I still say he's mine," Mary Sue muttered.

"What about one of those personality quiz thingies…?" Typo mused. "That way, they'd be choosing, saving us a lot of grief, and there'd be no way we could accuse each other of stealing and still sound sane."

"But you and Beagle never sound sane," Sue replied. The accused rolled their eyes.

"Riiiiight, and you're PERFECTLY okay up there in the head…" Beagle muttered.

After a few minutes plotting, the trio finally decided on a course of action. By 5 o'clock, they had gathered at the observation deck of Tokyo tower and were setting the stage for operation Get Bishie.

See, there. All fixed.

But how did we find Tokyo Tower?

Who cares? Just TYPE!

Fine, fine…

Mary Sue grinned evilly through the ¥100 observation glass/thing attached to the rail around the observation deck of Tokyo Tower. She seemed to have found yet another perfect change of clothes, this particular outfit very un-Sue-ish, bringing to mind an innocent young girl just asking to be put in mortal peril and then gallantly saved from harm. The young damsel/evil super-genius was not surveying the amazing view of Tokyo that the structure provided as the rest of the fools around her were doing, but rather a group of five teens milling around the base of the tower. They did not particularly stand out from the rest of the pedestrians except for the odd hair color of the only girl among them. Ah, yes, Botan, Mary thought as she smirked to herself. Your blue hair shall be your undoing.

"Suuuue, I'm booooooored," a voice to the observer's right whined.

"Go away, Beagle," Mary Sue snapped, her eyes locked on a magenta clad figure that could only be her favorite character.

"Weeee! Kanji I can actually read!" Typo squealed from where she was peering through a neighboring telescope. She had also dressed the part, apparently trying to fit in with the crowd; she now wore a tourist's dream-outfit, complete with fanny-pack and Tokyo Tower t-shirt. "Ichi, ni, san… Ichi, ni, san…" she beamed.

"Typo, that thing doesn't have any money in it," Beagle pointed out. Typo stared blankly at her, but soon had to avert her eyes from the blinding pink-ness of her shirt.

"Dammit, I ran out of time," Sue cursed, pulling her face away from the metal device. "YOU!" she pointed up accusingly at a nearby ten-year-old boy. "Gimme a hundred yen!"

The boy stared down at her for a second, confused. Typo smiled.

"Hyaku en o kudasai," she said, giddy at her own cleverness. The boy gave her a very odd look before bursting into a fit of snickers. Mary Sue growled and turned on her Aura of MENACE, her eyes flashing red and black flames erupting around her. The boy abruptly stopped and handed Typo the hundred yen coin with wide eyes.

"Why do nameless background characters speak nothing but Japanese while canon characters seem to speak nothing but English?" Beagle asked. She was munching on a vanilla wafer from the packet she had managed to acquire.

Mary Sue rolled her eyes and turned back to the telescope. "Don't think too much about it-- hey, where did they go?" She desperately scanned the area. "THEY'RE GONE!!!!!!!!!!" She yowled to no one in particular.

"Relax, Sue," Beagle soothed. "They're probably on their way up."

Sue glanced around the large room for a second, then shoved the plastic chopsticks she had been holding her hair up with earlier into Typo' s hands. "Here. Attack me with those."

"With fashion accessories?" the short girl asked doubtfully.

"Yes," Sue answered with the exasperated air of an incompetent teacher trying to explain nuclear decay to a third grader. "Beagle," she grabbed the ex-cheerleader's arm and pulled her to her side, "You're my long lost sister and we've just met for the first time in eight years, and Typo's your cousin who thinks you're your evil twin who killed my father, so she's trying to seek revenge upon you."

Beagle stared down at her. "But we don't look related…"

"Best friends then, I don't care," Mary Sue shrieked shrilly. "Just loom aggressively, Typo, LOOM!"

Unfortunately, Typo was having a hard time looking like she possessed the motivation to use a pair of chopsticks to murder someone at all. Uncertainly, she raised the chopsticks like she was going to stab the pair of taller girls and glared unconvincingly at them. Taking what she hoped was a menacing step forward, she glanced over at the elevators, praying that SOMEONE would show up at least.

Beagle's inner actress began to take over her mind as she grabbed Sue in panic, her eyes widening in fear. "YEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah, someone, help!!" She yelped, digging her fingernails into Sue's arm.

"Um, yeah… aaah," Mary Sue called out half-heartedly, not quite the drama queen that Beagle was.

Reassured by Beagle's enthusiasm, Typo leapt forward, brandishing her "weapons" and screaming violent-sounding gibberish. Beagle dodged, shoving Sue to the ground in the process, and tackled Typo (not painlessly, I might add). Dropping the chopsticks, Typo fell, smacking her head against the tiled floor. Beagle faked a kick at her head, slamming her foot down mere centimeters from her ear. Typo yowled in fake pain, rolling over several times and clutching her face.

Sue, who had been watching them disdainfully from her spot on the floor, looked up to see if Kurama was gallantly sprinting out of the elevators to rescue her yet. What she saw was Botan of all people earnestly evacuating the building and yelling warnings about a fire or something. Sue, uninterested by such things, simply watched as the deity of death hurried the last person, a woman cradling a small child, down the "Use Only in Case of Emergency" stairs and left the tower herself, slamming the door behind her. Blinking, Sue ignored the chopstick sword fight her accomplices were currently engaged in and slowly turned around to peer out the window.

Outside, everyone's favorite Reikai Tantei were doing battle with a huge, scaled, six-armed monster with claws that SO needed a manicure and that SO needed to be filed down. And, come to think of it, it needed some whitening toothpaste, too. The four boys were dodging this way and that, weaving in and out of the youkai's thirty claws. Hiei smoothly managed to get by the flailing limbs (Of course, Sue thought), and brought his katana down on the demon's torso. The sword broke and the monster grabbed him roughly and tossed him back at his teammates.

"You guys," Sue shouted as she turned back around, "Get over here!"

The girls, who had run out of cheesy stage fight moves and had moved on to the touching realization that Beagle was not, in fact, her murderous twin, but in fact Typo's long-lost sister-in-law, brushed aside their fake tears of happiness and joined Sue at the window.

"Wooow…" Typo gaped as Yusuke fired his Rei-gun, taking off the monsters head and blasting a hole in the tower about twenty feet to their left… which the fangirls neither cared about nor noticed.

Beagle nodded in agreement as they watched the four below begin their usual after-battle banter and Botan mysteriously reappeared from getting normal people away from the fight. But then, to everyone's shock but the fanficcers (who were half expecting it), the youkai stood back up, and three new, red-eyed heads grew to replace its old one. Kurama, being nearest the fairy girl at the moment, grabbed Botan and hurried her to a safer area, and the other three fell back into fighting stance. They kept on the defensive as they discussed a better strategy than just amputation (or at least that's what the girls assumed they were talking about), until Kurama returned from behind, taking the monster completely by surprise, and took off another head with a fancy whip move. Three more promptly grew in its place.

"This is the perfect opportunity," Mary Sue announced, breaking the fascinated silence, "to play Innocent Bystanders About to Meet Their DOOM." Her two friends stared at her as she somehow managed to pick up a bench and through it out the window, shattering the glass. "HEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!" she called down to the boys below. "YEEEEEEEP!!! A demon!! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Beagle caught on and began yelling as well.

"Oh, won't someone rescue this poor, reasonably attractive female adolescent, age 14, blood type A positive?" she yelled down mournfully. "Will no one save this young bishojo who enjoys long walks on the beach, bubble baths, and world peace??"

"LERNAEAN HYDRA!!!" Typo screeched, pointing downwards at the monster.

Sue and Beagle both stopped their respective yelling and stared at her. "What?" Mary Sue asked, but Beagle's eye's widened.

"You're right!" the tall one cried, eyes darting toward the youkai outside.

"What's a larnian heedra?" Sue asked, not quite following the recovered classical mythology obsessors' train of thought.

"We should help them," Typo stated simply.

"Yeah… but how did Heracles defeat it again?" Beagle asked, ignoring Sue's confusion. Typo furrowed her brow for a moment, trying to remember all that research she had done in sixth grade.

"I think," she said, "he crushed it under a bunch of rocks…"

Beagle and Typo stood in silence for a moment, trying to think of a good replacement to kill the youkai outside.

"What's larnian hee-whatsit?" Sue persisted.

"We could use the tower," Beagle said very slowly, enlightenment rising behind her retinas. "I'm sure if we can get one of the base legs to give way, the whole thing would fall over."

Typo snapped her fingers. "I KNEW there was a reason to pay attention in science. C'mon Beagle, let's go make a homemade bomb. Sue, keep trying to get the guys' attention."

Mary Sue turned her attention back to the broken window, muttering something about friends who read too much.

-:-:-Meanwhile, down below… -:-:-

"Lernaean Hydra," Kurama stated, ducking a swinging green arm.

"What?" Yusuke asked, dodging a claw.

"Lernaean Hydra." Kurama repeated. "It's a monster from--"

"We KNOW what it is," Hiei cut in. "But what does that have to do with--" his eyes widened as it dawned on him. "How did that stupid ningen kill him again?"

"Do you have any idea what they're talkin' about?" Kuwabara whispered to Yusuke. The boy in green turned to his comrade and explained,

"This is the part where the camera zooms in on Kurama's intensely concentrated expression as he explains everything with all that dramatic, 'time-stopping think music' back up, and no one pays attention to us. So now we run off to Starbucks real quick before anyone notices we're gone."

"Yusuke, Kuwabara." Kurama turned to the humans, who were by now quite out of breath and clutching frappuchinos, after a quick conversation with the little fire demon. "Keep the youkai busy. Let's go, Hiei."

Yusuke and Kuwabara blinked and licked their whipped cream mustaches as the two thieves ran straight at the demon, each leaping on one of the tree trunk like arms and racing to the shoulders.

-:-:-Back with the fangirls…-:-:-

Mary Sue frowned down at the two bishonen (who were still ignoring her pleas for help) below. That was odd…. They had both managed to get on the giant youkai's shoulders and were hacking off its heads as fast as they could. What was the point in that? Furthermore, after a head was taken off, Hiei would immediately burn the new wound.

Though, now that she thought about it, there weren't any new heads growing from the burnt wounds….

"Done!" A pair of voice chorused behind her. Her friends stood there, beaming. Wrapped in Beagle's arms was a big, metal box that had a big red button in the center.

"We've created a bomb and stuck it to the leg of the building," Beagle explained.

"And this button will set it off," Typo continued, pointing.

Mary Sue raised an eyebrow. "How did you manage all that in less than three minutes?"

"I have no idea," Beagle answered and pushed the button.

-:-:-:-:-

BOOM!!

Kurama whirled around as Hiei finished up with the youkai's last head. He watched as observation deck of Tokyo Tower was moved toward him, as if in slow motion. A hysterical "BEAGLE YOU MORON!" mixed in with a benignant "Maybe we should have left before we did that…" drifted down from the shattered window.

Kurama squeezed his eyes closed as he waited for the inevitable. Why couldn't they just leave him alone…?

-:-:-:-:-

For the second time that day, Typo sat up rubbing her neck, the hard ground/floor THING having done nothing favorable for her back. Wincing at a sharp pain in her leg, she examined her surroundings. The floor was neat and tiled, the room wide and open, and a huge wooden desk with mounds of stacked paper atop it sat in front of her. Beagle was sitting to her right, cradling her arm and glancing around nervously, and Mary Sue was on her feet yelling at the most interesting thing in the room.

"How DARE you tell me-- ME!! --that you don't like me!! I can't BELIEVE you, you… you… INCONSIDERATE BISHONEN!!!!" She stomped her foot, crossed her arms, and allowed her face to settle into a pout. Kurama stared back down at her, an unreadable look in his green eyes.

All four Reikai Tentai and Botan were arranged around the desk at which Koenma (in his teen form, surprisingly) was seated. Both Yusuke and Kuwabara were silently laughing at Kurama, but all other eyes were turned solemnly on the three fangirls.

"Good, you're up," Koenma said. "You sleep like a log, by the way."

"Tell us something we don't know," Beagle muttered, but her wide eyes never left Koenma's bishiful face.

"I," Koenma continued, "am the great prince of Reikai-- KOENMA-SAMA!" He paused and waited for the girls to gasp and/or faint, but they simply looked at him with bland expressions. "Anyway, you have been charged with identity fraud, sexual assault, and battery."

They blinked.

"We couldn't have possibly have done all that," said Beagle. "We only just got here."

"So you admit you're not of this world," Koenma smirked. "Crime number one."

"You can't arrest us!" Mary Sue squealed. "I haven't gotten to glomp Kurama enou--"

"Crime number two," Koenma said smugly. "Sexual assault. 'I haven't gotten to glomp Kurama ENOUGH' --meaning you already have."

Sue shut her mouth. Typo piped up. "But the charge for battery is nonsense. All we did was completely destroy a famous monument."

"And in effect," Koenma said, "injured four Reikai personal and allowed one wanted youkai to escape."

Typo blinked at him. "Really?"

"Yes."

"SPIFFY!"

"TYPO!" Beagle yelled, smacking the back of her friend's hard head, "You're not helping."

"What I want to know," Mary Sue interjected, "is how we got here and why we've been taken before the Prince of Reikai. Is blowing up Tokyo Tower really that serious?"

Koenma sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Well, as I translate the story, you appeared before Kurama and Hiei, claiming to be long lost acquaintances and/or relatives."

Hiei glared meaningfully at Typo.

"They essential abandoned you and headed off to Tokyo Tower to do their job. Just as they were about to succeed--"

"Without explaining to their LEADER what the hell they were doing," Yusuke put in.

"--Tokyo Tower collapsed behind them, falling on part of their party--"

"That name's way too fancy for our group," Kuwabara muttered.

"--knocking out half and injuring the rest, thus causing the object of their mission to escape. Normally I'd let this go, but you seem to know a bit too much about two certain members of the Tantei." He glanced over at Kurama and Hiei. "And when we went to check your files, they were nonexistent. So, obviously, you don't belong in Ningenkai."

The fangirls exchanged glances. "That's because," Beagle said slowly, "we're from--"

"SANKAI!!!" Typo cried, leaping to her feet. "We're from Sankai, and we're here on a very important mission… TO SAVE OUR WORLD!!" She struck a dramatic pose and trumpets sounded in the background.

All present stared at her and the trumpets hit flat notes and died.

"All will be revealed in time…" she whispered, waving her arms in front of her in a way she considered "mysterious," promptly knocking a stack of papers behind her to the ground.

"Um, yeah…" Beagle said. "You see, there are other dimensions besides just Reikai, Ningenkai, and Makai. And, um, we're representatives from another one of these, Senkai."

"You said 'sankai'," Kurama pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Same thing," Mary Sue supplied. "Depends on what dialect you speak. Anyhoo," she held up a few sheets of paper. "We're going to need you to fill out these surveys as part of our humanity-saving mission." She gave one each to Kurama, Hiei, and Koenma. Both Koenma and Kurama politely scanned the paper with mild interest, but Hiei disgustedly threw his in Kuwabara's face.

"I'm not taking some 'survey' created by these fools," he announced.

"Well I don't mind, I love these things!" Kuwabara said, reaching for a pen on Koenma's desk.

"NO!!" All three fanficcers yelled, lunging forward. Sue, being nearest, got to him first and ripped the 'survey' out of his hands.

"Erm, we mean," Typo stuttered, sweat dropping profoundly, "we would prefer it if, aah…"

"Yusuke take the test," Beagle finished. "I mean, he's KINDA hot when he doesn't gel back his hair."

Kurama and Koenma's heads snapped up from reading, starring at her with wide eyes.

"We just don't want full-blooded humans taking it, 'kay? Reasons confidential," Typo answered immediately. Mary Sue stared at her, confused.

"But isn't Yusuke--" She was quickly kicked by Beagle.

"Hn," said Hiei, glaring at them with suspicious eyes.

"Wait," Koenma said as Yusuke grabbed a pen and started scribbling. "Group Huddle."

The Yu Yu Hakusho characters all huddled together (Hiei a bit reluctantly), and Botan was the first to speak up, a slight grin twitching at the corners of her mouth.

"Koenma-sama, you don't actually believe their story, do you?"

Koenma frowned. "Well… there doesn't really seem to be any other explanation," he replied. Kurama nodded in agreement.

"The only way Reikai could not have them on file is if they were from Makai. But all three of them are obviously human, and the only stories anyone could possibly tell to explain their circumstances would all be just as farfetched as another dimension."

"What I don't get," Yusuke said, "is why they seem to know so much about us."

"Maybe," Kuwabara hypothesized, "in their dimension our lives are actually an action anime, and all this is actually a bad fanfiction, but we have no idea because outside forces consisting of a group of desperate fangirls similar to the ones in front of us are controlling everything."

"Psh. Well, if THAT isn't the most moronic thing I've heard all day then I'll tie a bow around the neck of my Dragon of the Darkest Flame and cuddle it! You should stop going to those movie things," Hiei said. "You're starting to get them confused with reality." Kuwabara glared at him, ready to shoot a short joke right back at him, but Koenma cut him off.

"Anyway, I think it'll be okay to take the surveys. They don't seem to be asking anything they don't already know, and maybe afterwards we can learn some more about them."

"Alrighty then," Yusuke said as he sat down on the floor with his paper. "I love the tests with no wrong answer."

Kurama sat down with a pen from Koenma's drawer and began taking the survey himself as the teenified Koenma gave hushed orders to Botan to converse with the three girls (who had backed off into their own corner and were giggling) The Reikai Prince glanced over to see Kuwabara and Hiei engaged in their own private glaring contest. Hiei was winning.

Question number one -- What type of socks do you prefer?

ones with interesting designs, usually striped, and bright colors

knee socks with any pattern and any color, mismatched cutely when possible

normal white ones, sometimes black.

Kurama blinked down at his feet. He didn't wear socks… the washing machine escape artists were below him. Ah, well. He circled "C."

Question number two -- What type of hair do you prefer on a girl?

silky, black, and layered

medium length, layered, and blonde

long, brown (chestnut, chocolate, ect.), and wavy

Oh, could you get anymore obvious…? Koenma glanced over at the group of girls. Botan had joined them, and they were all laughing hysterically. Not laughing cutely like anime girls are supposed to, but chortling, guffawing, cackling, and so and so forth in uncute, unhot, unsexy ways. He sighed and looked back down at the paper in front of him. Well, none of them were really blonde… He circled "B."

Question number three -- Pick a phrase.

A) Smoking kills brain cells.

B) You see? Being evil pays off…

C) Have I ever told you about sea louses…?

Yusuke stared down at it. That was not a question… it was a demand! Well, "A" didn't particularly appeal to him; he hated it when Keiko used to yell at him about the cancer he's get when he smoked, a habit he stopped after he died. He'd never been told it killed brain cells, though… wasn't that drinking…? He shook his head and continued to the next choice, but he didn't really like that one either. It reminded him of something a self-absorbed villain might say to start off a long and boring monologue. Which he also hated. The teen decidedly circled "C". He had no idea what a sea louse was, but hey, he didn't hate them.

They continued like this for another twenty minutes or so, the tranquil silence of the room disturbed only by the girls' obnoxious laughter… What exactly WAS so funny…?

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

'Ezzo! Typo here, and I have to say that that is the longest nonscript format fanfic chapter I have ever written… hope you liked it! Yes, me n' Beagle are alternating writing chapters now (Mary Sue, while contributing ideas, simply does not write. She gets to have A/Ns on the chapters produced when we actually have enough time to together long enough to write enough stuff to be considered a chapter.) And now, because I wrote a lot and own no ramblometer, ze horribly and terrifyingly long A/N:

We do not, will not, and could not possibly own Yu Yu Hakusho. I do, however, own a tube of the whitening toothpaste mentioned. It is minty.

None of us have actually been to Tokyo Tower, so there probably isn't a sign labeled "Ichi ni san" visible… and a whole lotta stuff describing what the observation deck looks like is probably completely off. Watching random scenes from Magic Knight Rayearth is not visiting the place, you know.

About the Japanese…(Yes, Typo IS taking classes):

"Ichi, ni, san…" - Just plain, simple numbers. "One, two three…"

"Hyaku en o kudasai." - "A hundred yen, please." I have no idea if a sane person would use this to ask for money, but that's the way we learned to ask for things at the store so… (shrug) That's what Typo WOULD say if she had to, and no one said Typo had to have perfect Japanese. XD

(Why do I keep switching to third person…?)

"Sankai" - San (three) kai (realm/world); Typo's vocabulary leaves much to be desired. Basically it refers to that third dimension we are cursed with… "sen" means a thousand, so Beagle's little slip up in pronunciation changed the meaning of the word.

The Lernaean Hydra is from the labors of Heracles (more commonly known as Hercules) in Greek mythology. It has at least seven heads (different sources vary), one of which was immortal. Typo got the myth wrong; in the Disney movie, Hercules kills a Hydra-like monster by causing an avalanche to bury it… or something. Obviously, Typo was getting her stories confused. Kurama and Hiei went about it in the right way; Heracles got a friend (forget who… -.-;;) to burn the hydra's wounds after each of its heads were removed, preventing new heads from growing. The immortal head was buried under a rock. (Am I putting too much thought into my fanfiction?)

Koenma seems to have a slight obsession that people without connections to Reikai don't find out that he's actually a toddler… which is my excuse for having him in his teen form. We were low on bishies. (Yes, I know we excluded Hiei, but Sue is dead set on Kurama, Beagle worries about being taller than Kurama which makes it impossible to imagine how she'd look next to Hiei o.O, and I'm masquerading as his long lost sister.)

Kurama really doesn't wear socks. It irks me so…

Beagle has been the butt of many blonde jokes because she's the closest thing we have to one at the present time (blonde highlights in the sun. (shrug). It would be weird to have "light brown hair" and then "dark brown hair", so…

Thanks for the reviews! And no, Aya, I have no idea where Beagle got her ramblometer… but thanks for naming the bunnies. God knows what I was calling them had a few too many syllables (evildemonicbunnydemonyoukaidealiothingiesthatarefreakishlycuteandliketobakeshtuffbunnythings).