please review. ---------------------

I do not own Harry Potter in any way, sort, kind, or form, dimensionally, physically, absentmindedly, mentally, or with my telekinetic powers. I do not own any Harry Potter substance contained within the books. In other words, I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, AND MY NAME IS NOT J.K ROWLING .

I WILL POST YOUR NAME FOR THE NEXT FIVE PEOPLE THAT REVIEW FOR ME. (Includes lyrics of Black Friday Rule by Flogging Molly and Mary had a Little Lamb by: ??? neither of which I own. My name is neither Flogging, Molly, Flogging Molly, or ??? Also, Jon Philipeenolakadakaneeneechoocoo is not real, but I own him.Same goes with Momma has a baby!)

Thank you to Insanity something something Owl for reviewing! A complimentary chocolate for you!

Chapter 3: MOM and DADA

"Oh yeah! Im so clever and cool and collected or however that phrase goes." said Ron/Harry (He turning back into Ron after such a long hour). Now how will Harry respond to that!, he thought, ho ho ho, I just killed Umbridge. No, Harry did! Ha Ha, HE won't find out till there's Fudge here, taking Harry away!

ONE HOUR LATER

Harry was awoken at once by Fudge.

"Good Morning." He said to Fudge.

"Good Night. STUPEFY!" Fudge yelped.

About 10 minutes Later after Fudge had to have a pit stop.

On the way to the Ministry of Magic by Muggle car, Harry was laying down in the back seat taking up all three seats, and he started to sing.

"I want to believe in myself once again

So I dream of a man whose hopes never end " Harry started.

Fudge jumped and looked at Harry apart from the road, and started to nearly swerve into the opposite lane.

"Isn't that a Muggle song?"

"Yep."

"Interesting. Continue. I think I know how it goes."

Fudge started pounding on the dashboard to imitate a drum beat.

"To kiss with a girl who's as lovely as you

I'd give you my heart, if you gave me the truth " Harry continued, and paused.

"Keep going" said Fudge. "I'm getting rather, how do you hip kids say it, into it!"

Harry continued...for the rest of the song...partially. (A/N and if you dont like this part, I would skip ahead because this song is seven minutes long.)

"And for every tear that is lost from an eye

I'd dig me a well where no man could destroy

I want to believe in a freedom that's bold

But all I remember is the freedom of old

Well I lost me a wife, so I found me a plane

Flew all the way to California

This mess in my head is a mess getting out

Ya drink too much coffee, I drink too much stout

But after a while, when my mouth's not so dry

I'll dance up a storm, sure life's looking fine

But as darkness falls, I return to my bed

Don't ask me more questions" Harry suddenly stopped.

"CONTINUE DAMMIT!"

"Yes sir. don't fuck with my head-"

"Im not! And don't use that kind of Parseltongue with me boy."

"That's the song. You told me to sing-"

"Sing it! We have a while before we get there. About 3 minutes."

"I've been down in this world, down and almost broken

Like thousands of people, left standing in their shoe

I've been down in this world, down and almost broken

As thousands they grieve, as the Black Friday rule

The buildings they shake but my heart it beats still

Oh mother of Jesus, I feel pretty ill

I want to go home where my feet both feel safe

But there ain't no jobs in the old free state

So I must remain in my new adopted land

I'm doing the best, Hell I'm doin' all I can

So next time you see me, don't ask for my name

For I am the King and sure long may I reign

I've been down in this world, down and almost broken

Like thousands of people, left standing in their shoe

I've been down in this world, down and almost broken

As thousands they grieve, as the Black Friday rule

I've been down in this world, down and almost broken

Like thousands of people, left standing in their shoe

I've been down in this world, down and almost broken

As thousands they grieve, as the Black Friday rule"

"Continue!"

"It's over!"

"No it's not." said Fudge, who entered 62442 and walked in still making the drum beat stamping his feet.

Harry ignored him and took the stickie badge and stuck it upon him.

Harry Potter

Mad Man

"What?!?" Harry yelled.

"Face the facts buddy boy."

Harry entered the Ministry of Magic with paper airplanes flying everywhere. Harry thought they didn't do much work around here.

People then saw Harry and saw his badge and started to fold their work papers to run them into him. Harry then met Grawp. He was going to be the Minister of Magic next year, but Harry did not know Grawp because this is A.U. So he just ran away.

He followed the Minister down a couple thousand flights of stairs and Fudge was still humming the Muggle song. Finally, they got down to a room with Harry didn't remember from the Pensieve because this is A.U. HArry sat down next to Fudge and Fudge moved opposite him. Harry sat down next to him again and Fudge sat where he was supposed to again, but then Harry sat there. Fudge stood up and said "Stay" and walked to where he wasn't supposed to sit. After about Five minutes of listening to Fudge hum the song, people rushed in all at once.

Fudge stood up. "Court Adju--"

"Hey Brownie man-"

"It's Cornelious Fudge!"

"Corn Brownie got it. Who named you? A glutton?"

The crowd laughed.

"GET OUT OF MY SEAT!" Fudge demanded.

"SMELLY!"

"Pardon me?

"You're a SMELLY DRUNKEN PIRATE!" Harry replied defiantly.

The crowd laughed again.

"Get out of my seat now." Fudge said.

"Yeep!" Harry sat in Fudge's recent seat.

After Fudge getting into his regular seat, the meeting on Harry's "murder" began.

"We have looked up on our database and saw that the last curse used on Ronald Weasley's wand was the Avada Kedavra. However, witnesses tell us that Harry Potter was lurking around Hogwarts castle last night. So according to our studies, we believe Harry Potter was tricking us to believe that Ronald Wesley have done the crime. "

"Polyjuice" Harry said.

"Bless you" Fudge said politely, "So, we are currently waiting for the next 20 minutes for Ronald to come.

" In the mean time, Harry has a Muggle song to share with us. Fudge told Harry to stand up and sing with his hands.

Harry stood stunned for a second then broke into song.

"Mary had a little lamb,

Little Lamb,

Little Lamb!

Ma--"

"No no no no no!" Fudge said overreacting, "Here- I'll sing it: Orange Thursday Rule! I dont know the muggle crap! Ooh!"

20 MINUTES LATER AFTER BOREDOM OF THE BROWNIE MAN'S WORDS

Ronald Weasley of Privet- Excuse me I mean- Ronald Weasley of the Burrow had just walked in. Ladies and Gentlemen, would you please give a warm welcome and a round of applause for Contestant Number One.

"Hey Scarface!"

"Hey R- Quoi ( Translations for Ghetto People: WTF mate?)?"

"Nevermind. Hey Fudgey! Gimme some of that skin!"

"Er- Hello Ronald." Fudge said and shook his hand, "Would you care to take a seat?"

"I would." Ron said nodding at Fudge.

The Minister took a seat and looked as though he looked rather important. Not that he was.

"We have some important business to discuss. Boys, would you come with me?"

The immature crowd said "OOOH!" One man yelled loudly something rather strange, it sounded like "he's going to rake them.", and everybody laughed ever so loudly. To me the quote did not make very much sense for I, sleep in libraries, and have tried to look up what he meant. I decided to test it out. I walked up to a prep and said " I want to rake you" and she slapped me. don't have a "prevented" mind. HAHAHA. Nerdy Kids. They don't get it hahaha. Stupid. Prevente-- never mind. But however I did have to slit a few thr---THIS PART OF THE STORY HAS BEEN CANCELLED IT WILL BE REPLACED WITH A DIFFERENT STORY UNTIL THE INAPPROPRIATE PART IS OVER FOR OUR YOUNGER READERS. WHEN GOING BACK TO THE STORY THER WILL BE a SIGNAL. THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE STORY THERE WILL BE MOMMA HAS A BABY DURING INAPPROPRIATE PARTS, the signal will appear.

Momma has a baby!

by: Jon Philipeenolakadakaneeneechoocoo

Momma had to go to the hospital today. She said something about being raped. I would have never thought of that. Scarface and the Red-Haired Boy walked through the door holding hands.

" Oh yes and the new Defense Against the Dark Art Teacher is Tom Marvolo Riddle....just to make the story suspensful"

Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Contestant Number Two.

This has been co-anchor TheBlackKeys reporting, thank you for watching our evening broadcast, and good night..