I do not own Harry Potter.

I do not own Joe 90, or any of their songs, like "Drive" (which will be in italic) the song has nothing to do with the story, and I just like it...so...yeah...

I do not own "A Beautiful Mind" which I reference.

Chapter the Seventh: Fear of the House-Elf.

After whatever happened in the past chapter...like Voldemort dead...and Harry..who couldn't save Ron from Azkaban so, he's still there...the Ministry of Magic had to have a fear of something to make people afraid, and since Voldemort was dead, they used House-Elves. Many of the rooms in Azkaban were full, then empty because of beheadings..so yeah...however, as you will notice, that the Daily Prophet...you know, that lying scumbag owned newspaper full of lies.

"

Bigger more powerful

And yet nobody knows

Let's not forget to discuss

All of the freeloads"

That day, Hermione's owl named William Holden (don't ask) swooped down onto her breakfast table as the Daily Prophet fell into her hands.

"

Here is the car you drive

The window is open wide

Many nice folks suggest

That we go for a drive

Time doesn't know

What its time for us all to know"

She opened and read:

Page One: New Fashion Tips for your Owl!

Page Two: More Fashion Tips for your Owl!

Page Three: Fashion Tips for your Frog!

Page Four: More Reasons to Hate House-Elves

Page Five: TheBlackKeys: Oh No He Didn't!

Page Six: Ronald Weasley: The Interview of the Century

Page Seven: Fashion Tips For Your Kangaroo!

Hermione Granger turned to page four, and took at number 817493:

House Elves Are Stupid.

Then 817494:

They Smell Bad.

Then 817495:

House Elves hate Billy Wilder.

(don't ask)

Hermione turned two more pages and saw Ron with a long beard like the one Dumbledore has...but he was dead so...

he didn't matter...stupid son of a humhmm...

"

I like a yellow shirt

And I like orange shades

I like your green suede shoes

And all the sweaters you made

Here is the car you drive

The window is open wide

Many nice folks suggest

That we go for a drive

Time doesn't know

What its time for us all to know"

Hermione turned to page six, and saw Ronald. He was in a cell, and he looked into the eyes of Hermione. He had a piece of paper in his hand, he wrote something on it with a big black permenant marker, and pointed it towards Hermione.

"HERMIONE? WHY MUST YOU SUCK SO BADLY"

As the new Sirius Black, Hermione was terrified. Mortified. Petrified. Stupified By You. She read the interview:

The Daily Prophet: Is it true you killed a woman?

Ronald Weasley: No.

TDP: Ok..How did you do it?

RW: I didn't kill anybody.

TDP: OK..What did you not not do?

RW: What?

TDP: We can tell you are confused.

RW: What the-

TDP: Did you not kill anybody?

RW: I did not kill anybody.

TDP: Say that again, except change the I do not do I'd.

RW: I'd kill anybody?

TDP: You heard it hear first folks. Ronald Weasley would kill anybody.

RW: What?

"

Escape from the crowd

Escape from the dark

Escape from East Berlin

Escape from the planet Earth

Escape from the Planet of the Apes"

Hermione set aside the paper and stared at William Holden. He was dead. Her breakfast was all gone and her ear was bleeding because William was gnawing on it. She was also having her period. But that doesn't matter. She knew she should have gotten that Gloria Swanson owl.(don't ask)

" Here is the car you drive

The window is open wide

Many nice folks suggest

That we go for a drive

Time doesn't know

What its time for us all to know

We don't know nothing, nobody,

No one at all"