I do not own the Buzzcocks, or their songs, like, "Oh Shit!".
I do not own the J.K Rowling, or her books, like, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
I do not own the William Golding, or his books, like, Lord of the Flies.
I do not own the Cheat t shirt yet, beacause HR is too slow.
I do not own Aladdin, but I do own the reference. I think... I dunno...Maybe not...
I do not own The Twilight Zone.
I do not own Homestar Runner.
I do not own Carnivale.
I do not own Shaun of the Dead.
This is Chapter Number the Eighth.
Please show me your undivided attention and read as follows, or thoust shall suffer serious consesuenses.
Thank you to all five reviewers, oh right I forgot! I don't have five reviewers.
Chapter Eight: Oh Shit!
"There's rules, you give life, you gotta take it from somewhere else."
-Carnivale.
Ronald remembered Harry. Harry was now in Azkaban, biting off his liver as "a gift for the dementor," or something, he's probably gone totally Lord Of The Flies. Well, better stop before he starts on his testies.
"DONE AND DONE!" Harry yelled from Azkaban, which, after the explosions a few chapters before, was located right next to Hogwarts, to scare the little boys and girls, showing, that if they were bad, this is how they would end up. A liver-less drunkard making money off cocaine.
Where's Momma's Having A Baby when you need 'em?
Ron was astonished. How could Harry not get out? This is so dumb, Ron thought, you just bang your head against the wall a few thousand times, or climb over the bricks, saying that the builders are still working on every cabinhouse arena thingy mick bobber.
Ron had to save him.
"I'LL SAVE YOU!"
"KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN! USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE!"
"WHY? WE"RE OUTSIDE, WELL, YOU ARE."
"THE WORKERS WORKING HERE MIGHT HEAR US!"
"OH! HEY! WORKERS!"
He got their attention after saying "football". This was after many long periods of shouting. If you know what I mean.
"OH I SEE! YOUR JUST NOT GOING TO LOOK OOORR TALK TO ME!"
"WHAT?"
"DO YOU HAVE A PASSWORD?"
"HUH?
"BRICKS"
"HAMMER"
"AX"
"RA"
"ANUBIS"
"JACKHAMMER"
"SLEDGEHAMMER"
"STRONG BAD EMAIL"
"FLOGGING MOLLY"
"DAGGER"
"DAGGER TATTOO"
"CROOKED DAGGER"
"CROOKED TATTOO"
"TATTOO"
"CROOKED"
"CROOKED DAGGER TATTOO"
"FLESH CUTTING IS TATTOO MAKING"
"MAKING FLESH CUTTING IS A TATTOO"
"UH...JOCKS"
"PREPS"
"HOODRATS"
"WORD ASSOCIATION"
"DENIAL OF SELF ESTEEM"
"ENTOURAGE"
"CARNIVALE"
"SIX FEET UNDER"
"DEADWOOD"
"RYAN BOWDISH"
"PIMPLE WIMPLE"
"ZITS"
"CHECK YOUR EMAIL"
"THE ALTOS"
"PALO ALTO"
"PALO SOPRANO"
"PALO MALO"
"PALL THE MALL"
"OH MY GOD LET'S GO PALL THE MALL GIRLS!"
"WE MIGHT MEET A BOY!"
"HE MIGHT PLAY FOOTBALL!"
"What? What?"
The workers looked around. Who did all this talk of football? A worker rose and said,
"WHO DARE DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?"
"IT IS I, RON"
"MAKE IT DRAMATIC KID, RON WHAT?"
"Well, I will give you a handshake if you can guess my name"
"YOUR ON!"
"GOGO THE PANDA BEAR"
"CORRECT! A FABULOUS HANDSHAKE AND SHARING OF GERMS IS INCLUDED ON THIS WEEK'S "WHAT'S MY NAME!""
Later that day, after winning a free handshake with Mr. Gogo himself, Ron went back in time to save Harry, not telling you what the plan was, to have something scary.
"Oh shit I thought you and I were friends
Oh shit I guess this is where our love ends
Oh shit I thought things were goin' well
But it hasn't turned out so swell
Has it
Oh shit"
A FEW HOURS BEFORE...
You are now entering, the past zone.
do do do do do do do do do
Ronald Weasley of Number Four, The Burrow Drive, was indeed a lonely man, once he was so lonely, he wanted to take his name off the do not call list.
But sadly, this never followed through.
He evens goes back in time to save people from terrible disasters like killing their great grandfather, and end up killing themselves.
Hermione suddenly showed up, "Uh, Mr. Serling, I believe I saved Harry from that."
"Um..Ok, sure. Keep thinking that Hermione. Keep thinking you took a bullet from your partner."
"Quoiever" (Translation into English: Whatever!)
"Have you ever heard the quote, "Sex sells" ? Well, nevermind that quote right now.
Set in case Mr. Weasley, a common wizard, except with the greatest thing ever, a conversation piece, if you dare, a time turner." Rod Serling continued, but he saw Hermione coming up, and walked up to her, started doing his happy dance, licked her face, and ran away, never to be found again.
Some say that Hermione found him behind a dumpster with a large hoagie in his hand, an empty soda bottle in the other.
Some say he commit suicide. Some say they found him along Route 7 in everything but a suit in black and white, picking up cigarette butts with his teeth. Some say he became black, like Michael Jackson. I say we continue with the story, and then I can go get Dennis Casey's shoes, dance around like Dennis Casey yelling "IMA DONKEY! IMA DONKEY!" and go watch Citizen Kane and rent I Heart Huckabees, and get a chai tea, and run through a pumpkin patch with Homestar Runner, but no, I have to fininish. (hence the nin)
" Oh shit pride comes before a fall
Oh shit and once you lose one you've lost them all
Oh shit I guess this time's the time
And it seem you're no longer mine
Don't it
Oh shit
Oh shit"
LATER THAT DAY IN THE STORY...
Later that day in the story, Ron had to go farther back in time, to where, the duo and him were waiting for the Night Bus.
" Oh shit I wish I'd known before now
Oh shit that you were such a cow
Oh shit I wouldn't've wasted my time
Oh shit chasin' somethin' which wasn't mine
Face it
You're shit
You're shit"
Ron was very sedated now, and stood up, walking slowly towards Harry, moaning,
"Don't get on the bus, don't get on the bus"
But all Harry saw was, a chance to make fun of a zombie.
"dubbuadbuabbudabdubbbadubaba!"
"dont uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhbus"
"dubbuudbuabudbadubbbadubbbazippyaow!"
"get on the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh bu-"
Harry went on to the bus with Hermione, and Ron...Ron...and Ron...
Ron didn't get on the bus. He was still acting like Mr. Wannasavemyfriendandbetheherobutican'tduetosedatedness.
He suddenly swept threw the phase because kids grow so fast, and he ran with the Night Bus, with big hopes and dreams, like a young Martin Luther King Jr.
Soon he had to resorting to jumping in front of the Night Bus for Ernie to see him, but Ernie jumped into fifth gear, and The Night Bus hit a very big bump...indeed.
" Oh shit I wish I'd known before now
Oh shit that you were such a fuckin' cow
Oh shit I wouldn't've wasted my time
Oh shit chasin' somethin' which could never be mine
Admit
You're shit
You're shit
You're shit
Admit admit
You're shit
You're shit
You're shit
You're shit
You're shit"
Oh no that's OK. You can review me. Go ahead. Do it. That's my child.
